Chapter 26: Option and Decision

Mindara Manaying

Flashback

Yam surely could not contain her jealousy when she was all green with envy upon realising where Kimhan had missing for almost an hour. She found us at the park where there were only Kimhan and I at that moment. Then as if we added more fuel to the fire, she flared up when she noticed that I had a giant turtle toy in my held; the thing she presumed as if Kimhan sneaked out to have some fun with me. I could feel her wrath when she threw a look at me. The hatred emanated from that gaze and those actions which spoke louder than words; everyone could tell that she was not fond of me. She hated the idea of ‘sharing’ Kimhan together. To Yam, Kimhan should supposedly be hers and only hers. I wish I could tell Yam that I have no interest to snatch Kimhan away from her.

“So you leave me all alone just to be with her?” Yam fumed with anger. The dreadful look in Kimhan’s eye explained everything. I have never been this conflicted too before. She caught us and holding us on a hook.

“Yam, please calm down.” Kimhan played it safe.

“How can I play it cool when I know that this girl is messing up with my guy?” She pointed a finger at me, accusing me over the thing that she had no idea about.

I wanted to protest but Kimhan forbad me with an eye contact. My urge to argue died down and all I could do was containing the remaining patience that left in me.

“How many times do I have to tell you, Yam? Pie and I have nothing special with each other. We’re friends and there’s no such thing beyond that.” Kimhan said and I cringed inside. If Yam figured out the truth, Kimhan might not be forgiven for her white lie. She needed to lie forever until the business between us was completed. It could take some time.

“C’mon. I didn’t come here to witness your argument.” I interrupted. “Get it over it Yam. I mean no threat to you or even your relationship with Kimhan. Why would you make it so complicated?” All eyes were on me by the time I finished talking. Yam was less tense than she had become previously. She went quiet with no more words left to rant.

******

5 months later…

Time might have flown so fast while I barely noticed it but the truth was, it wasn’t. Sometimes I found it was unbelievable for me to accept the fact that I made it through; I had been here for almost nine months and I had endured everything on my own. Fern was right about a few things; it was not that bad as I thought it could be. I survived the life here even though it lacked of certain things. Day by day, I learned how to adapt and improvise any sources around me for a better teaching process. I appreciated the gifts from Mother Nature to add some fun in lessons. Who says that you need computers, projectors or any gadgets to perform well? Limited internet connection? Well no problem.

What happened to Kimhan and me?

I had never returned to Kimhan’s place ever since the last overnight. The fight with Yam had somehow affected my relationship with Kimhan and that led to my decision of not coming back to them. Yam made it as if I am a home wrecker and I could not bear such accusation. Kimhan on the other hand could not do much about it. She was in huge dilemma whether to tame her girlfriend or stand up for her wife. I would not blame her though; we agreed that the secret should be sealed securely from Yam’s knowledge. Owing to that reason, Kimhan never drove me back to school neither picked me up anymore. I asked Puey to get my car so that I could commute on my own. I found it was easier for me to plan for my own journey because I could go back to the city and return to the school whenever I wanted to. Most importantly, there was no Kimhan’s involvement.

I lived my life as if I had moved on from everything. I returned to the city again over the weekend just to visit my best friend, Fern. She had given birth to a handsome baby boy. Fern had sent me his pictures when I was still at the school. He resembles her much.

“Pie?” Fern’s voice snapped my reverie. I turned around and found her approaching towards direction. There was a glint of suspicious in her look. She might have observing me for a quite some time.

“Are you alright?” She queried, placing the entire weight onto my shoulders as she clung her hands around me. She took a peek inside the cradle. Her sweet little baby is sleeping soundly.

“Yeah…” I replied almost nonchalantly. “He looks a lot like you and a little combination of Mario. Your genes dominated everything!” I commented just to steer a conversation.

“Well he’s my son. I carried her for nine months just to look like Mario? Hell no way!” Fern jested.

“I might have a baby too if I were married to a guy.” It just slipped from my thought. As if everything that I had been saying was too much for Fern to even react, she only stoned there in silence. Her eyes found mine but I ran away my gaze from her. I disliked the connection that she tried to make. Soon, she would not stop babbling at me over the issue.

“I’ve neither seen Kimhan nor heard about her. Where’s she?” Although I could anticipate that sooner or later she would be asking about my spouse’s whereabouts, it still surprised me that she noticed the absence of Kimhan in my life.

“She’s still much alive for sure.” I answered it short. “We’re good.”

“You’re the worst liar, Pie. C’mon, Puey told me that you two have been living separately for five months? That doesn’t sound good to me? What happened to you?” Fern asked, pressing both of her hands to her chest in a gesture like a stern mother who demand an explanation from her teenage daughter. I was caught; cursed Puey for divulging the secret. It was not supposed to be known by Fern. We promised to keep it safe between us.

“We’re seeking for a divorce by mutual consent.” I answered her brief enough without further intention to elaborate. This month would be the ninth month of our marriage. Throughout the period, I could tell that we failed to establish a mutual understanding between the two of us. Nevertheless, there’s one thing that we agreed of; to file for divorce by mutual consent. It came to our knowledge that a divorce proceeding for mutual consent usually takes up to 6 to 18 months. However, due to some unfulfilled conditions, we could not seek for the divorce immediately. Special Marriage Acts have stated that the spouse needed to stay separate and apart from each other for a minimum one year before filing the Mutual Consent Divorce. Living ‘separate and apart’ does not necessarily mean that we have to live in separate places. It just meant that we must stop fulfilling the duties and responsibilities as spouse. I guessed we had accomplished half part of it. I have never seen Kimhan for almost half of a year. Anyhow, did we ever make the marriage as how it supposed to be? I’d tell that it’s not.

“Is that so? How sure you are about it?” She arched up her eyebrows in questioning gesture.

“I’m hundred per cent certain about the decision. There’s no way of going back.” I would not give it a second thought. What has been said must be done.

“You haven’t file for the divorce yet, Pie. How would you know if there will be a plot twist in between it?” Fern provoked. Her voice had startled her baby. Fern soothed him and he went back to sleep a moment later. Done with that, she dragged me out of the room.

“You know nothing Fern.” I sighed, knowing that it might offend Fern’s feeling.

“That’s because you didn’t tell me. How could you do that to your best friend?” There she went with her sulking and drama.

“You had enough responsibility and problems of your own, Fern. How could I burden you with mine?” Fern stared at me long enough before she nodded her understanding.

“Your happiness is my concern too, Pie. I just want the best for you.” She said. “Now tell me the things I don’t know. I’m all ears.”

I began to narrate the whole story to Fern starting on the day Yam suddenly made her appearance till the last fight that divided all of us. Fern thought it was too much for her to accept the shocking news; with Kimhan having a girlfriend and her girlfriend’s pregnant. It was just too unbearable for her to fathom it.

“Your life story is so tragic that it deserved to be made as a story book.” She commented. “You’re okay with that?” Fern asked out of thin air. “Let me rephrase it. I mean are you okay with the idea that her girlfriend has returned while you’re still married? Does she know about you and Kimhan? Is that the reason why both you and Kimhan are seeking for the divorce?” Fern’s questions would be endless if I did not stop her with a hand gesture.

“One at a time, please?” I reminded her but then Fern shushed me in protest.

“Just answer me. This is insane but interesting.” Fern shushed me away. “Do you know what Pie? Logically, she can be that envious because she’s the girlfriend before you come to Kimhan’s life but rightly, you’re the wife and you supposed to own every privilege as the spouse.”

“Nah, never mind. It’s not that we’re that serious in this marriage. It’s just a contract and it will come to an end soon. Why bother to stand up for the privilege when I wanted nothing about it.” I waved it off with a hand gesture.

“Are you sure about that? All these months and you feel nothing about each other?” Again, Fern was trying to provoke me with that kind of question. She intentionally did that just to make me reconsider things before they were done. She always believed there’s a good reason behind everything that happened in someone’s life. She would always try to look for it and make people see it in a better perspective. She’s a good person at heart I admit that. It’s just that she tried to help the wrong person.

“Kimhan ever asked me to stay with her…” I revealed.

“And…”

“I said it’s impossible.”

“Maybe you thought it’s impossible because Yam suddenly shows up and you just have no idea of how life would be when more figure was added to the picture?” She always found the best spot to hit me with questions and make me ponder over the things I never thought would come across my mind. Why she wanted to make my life harder?

“Kimhan and I share nothing in mutual. I’m just used to her presence and it’s not like I like her more than anything. We’re just friends.”

“With benefits.” Fern added casually but ample enough to get me under my skin.

“It will be over soon and everything will be fine.” I grunted my annoyance.

“I hope you make the best decision this time around. Some chances do not come twice. Think about it carefully, Pie.” She said. Sometimes I just could not understand Fern. She used to disagree about this arranged marriage yet here she was, making me puzzled over the things I had never once thought could shake my stand.

******

I spent a night at Fern’s place and returned to Grandpa’s mansion the next day. The maids welcomed me home as they usually did. One of them took my hand carry luggage and she knew where it supposed to b