“Youngjae!” Jaebum calls the younger as he approaches him. Youngjae has just got off from his shift at the instrument shop. He is still wearing the white shirt with music notes as a logo on his left chest.

“Jaebum hyung” the older, on the other hand, is still dressed in his suit and tie.

Yugyeom has informed him last night that he has set up his hyung and Youngjae on a date. Of course, the older is happy to know that, he even hogged up the younger asking about what he should say on their date.

“You only work half day on Wednesdays?” the older then instinctively takes the younger’s bag and carries it for him.

“My friend, Seungyoon, asked me to take on his shift last week. This one’s his payment for that.” The younger put up no fight with it, Jaebum has always been like this even in high school. Back when he was smaller and frailer, luckily puberty hit him good and he grew a little taller.

Unbeknownst to Youngjae, Jaebum brings him to Namsan tower. Of course, the older would bring him to a place known for dating or couples’ territory. He knows that Namsan is popular for that; he has been here a lot of times with Yugyeom.

It is just three in the afternoon; the view from the tower wouldn’t be as beautiful as it is during night time. But knowing Jaebum, he can make the most out of it. He led Youngjae towards the tower, even though Jaebum used to be popular because of his raging temper, he was also known to be one of the most gentleman men you’ll ever meet. He doesn’t even pick who he is going to be chivalrous with.

In their case, though, he is more touchy and clingy. Youngjae doesn’t mind that, really, but now that he’s dating Yugyeom, he kinda felt bad when Jaebum reaches to his hand and interlaces it. Out of reflex, he abruptly pulls his hand away.

“I’m sorry.” Jaebum says, he looks like he has to say something more because when they were in high school, Youngjae did not mind. He always held his hand back then, but Youngjae never pulled away.

“I’m sorry, hyung. I’m just–”

“No, it’s okay, Youngjae-ah.” The older then tucks his hands inside his pocket.

“How are you, hyung?” Youngjae says a couple of minutes later as they ride the elevator to go on top.

“I’m good, I…” Jaebum wants to tell him about the guy he met last week, the Park Jinyoung guy. Apart from Yugyeom, it’s Youngjae who knows a lot of things about him too. But somehow saying it doesn’t feel like it would be nice to bring it up, “I’m good, how about you?”

Youngjae stares at his eyes for almost a minute, not saying anything, not moving at all. If he could only hear what the younger guy is saying in his internal voice, it would be like, ‘Jaebum hyung, I love Yugyeom and he loves me too. I hope you’ll not get mad at him for that.’

“I’m fine, hyung. Just a little tired from work, I guess.” He says and immediately exits the elevator once it reaches the top floor.

“When we were younger, I never asked, but…” it has been extremely awkward for them. There are a lot of couples around them and Youngjae looks like he doesn’t want to get in touch (physically with Jaebum) “can you… can you hug me?”

Youngjae, who has walked in front of him, turns around. He looks down and around, releases a deep breath, and stares back at Jaebum before he gently opens his arms and welcomes him. The older man hesitantly walks towards the open arms.

He thought. He really thought it would feel like home. He closes his eyes and pulls the younger to him. He tries to remember how he felt in those frail arms back then, but he can’t feel any.

“Would you give me another chance?” sharply pulling away from the hug, Jaebum asks and looks eye to eye to the uncomfortable boy in front of him.

“Hyung…” Youngjae breathes deeply again, brows furrowed and lips tight in a straight line.

“Youngjae, please?” the older then gathers Youngjae’s hands in front of him and squeezes it gently; “I can wait. Just, please?”

“I don’t know hyung, I don’t know.”

Jaebum is so painfully in love with him and the blame should be put on the kid he met when he was still in Busan. The fragile kid who cries himself to sleep, the bright kid who likes plants and flowers, the crying kid he left as he went away to Seoul. Youngjae reminded him of that boy so much and he doesn’t want to lose Youngjae because he’s the closest thing to that boy.

That particular kid is the one to blame because he stole Jaebum’s young heart just right before he goes away, living a life with a void.

Mark has brought extra clothes with him when he went to work earlier. It’s only Friday, but he can’t wait to go back to Nichkhun’s place. He also wants to surprise Jackson, especially last time when he left, the latter insisted on convincing him to just leave the next day.

As he is about to leave the office, he rides the elevator way too happily. He did not notice Jaebum until the door closes and he sees him on the reflection. The other has a sad look on his face and is fumbling with his phone.

“Don’t be too blind on the things around you, you can’t have it all.” Mark announces like he was orating some phrases from Shakespeare’s books.

Jaebum turns to him and gives him an empty look. “Why don’t you try to be not too blind so you could see that I don’t have everything?” He retorts with a particular person in his mind.

“Just because you cannot have things, doesn’t mean others can’t have it too.” the older says, blank-faced.

Jaebum snickers and turns his attention back to his phone.

“Even if it’s the thing or person that you want the most.” Mark finishes before he exits the elevator and proceeds to the parking lot of the company, leaving a baffled but fuming Jaebum.

When Mark arrives at Nichkhun’s place, it is already past seven; the traffic got him hogged up. But unlike last time, it is Jackson whom he sees first.

“OMG. What are you doing here, Mark hyung?” Jackson says jumping up and down, waiting for Mark to get off from his car.

“Surprise!” the older says, opening his arms to the excited Wang puppy in front of him. Jackson runs towards him and almost knocks him down.

“Are you gonna sleep here?” the short man says, looking over to see if Mark brought clothes. The latter nods and breaks off from the hug as he tries to get his backpack on the back seat, but Jackson was faster.

“Yehey!” Jackson shouts before carrying Mark like a baby. It almost looks obscene only that they were laughing way too innocently.

Once they settled inside the house, of course without Jackson letting go of Mark, the latter is still hugging the short guy who sits on the couch.

“Why are you so light?” Jackson says, lifting the boy from his lap easily and putting him back down.

“I don’t know? I’ve always been like this.” The older replies, smiling whilst resting his hands on Jackson’s shoulder. “Where are the others?” he continues, melting onto the short guy’s chest.

“hmm?” Jackson nestles his arms around the Mark’s torso, keeping the latter from falling off.

“Where’s Jinyoung?” the slimmer guy says glancing upward to Jackson.

“I’m here, why are you looking for Jinyoung?” Mark laughs and hugs Jackson tighter, but he did not receive the same reaction.

“What? I’m just looking for him ‘cause he’s not around.” Mark leans back and slightly pulls away from Jackson. The latter, on the other hand, keeps pouting and avoiding eye contacts from the man on his lap.

“Heyyyyy, why are you like that? Are you jealous?” Mark tries acting cute while blinking profusely.

“Are you jealous, huh? Huh? Are you?” he keeps teasing the younger and leaning closer to him not realizing Nichkhun has been watching them.

“Excuse me?” Nichkhun, already taking off his shoes, says. “Shouldn’t you be doing that somewhere private?” he finishes it with a knowing smile.

“But we’re not doing something?” Jackson replies, keeping his hands on Mark’s waist.

“Oh? Really? I wish you two could see how you guys look like right now.” The house owner says, closing one of his eyes as he draws a square in the air, making sure he gets the picture perfect.

Mark leans back and looks back at Jackson, he sees the latter’s hands are on his hips, and it doesn't look like it is a wholesome scene.

“Oh my gosh! What are you planning to do to me, Jackson?” says the older guy. Faking a surprise by placing his stretched hands on his cheeks and opening his mouth wide.

“Says the person who is sitting on MY lap right now.” But before Mark could throw his banter, Nichkhun left for his room. The kids lately are becoming more and more straightforward and brave, but he isn’t complaining, though. If he was only as brave as them, he could have been happy too.

Jinyoung comes home around ten in the evening, he went to the local library in Seoul; searching for the old versions of gardening books. Nichkhun, upon noticing his unexplainable liking towards plants and flowers, had asked him to do more research. It's for him in order to better understand histories of certain arrangements and decorations.

Everything solitary appeals to Jinyoung and being inside of one of his heavens meant losing track of time. He is kind of surprised at first when he finds out that some of the libraries in Seoul are open twenty-fours. Back in Busan, everything closes by nine o’clock and everyone’s asleep by ten. Bright building lights and loud sound systems are not common there, but here it’s like breathing.

When he walked inside their room, he did not notice the fourth body; the small spoon in Jackson’s bigger one. It is in the morning, he is about to wash his face when he sees four feet peeking through the end of Jackson’s blanket. He could feel fear budding up and his vocal chords starting to vibrate when a hand pulls the cover off Jackson and the other person.

“Good morning, Jinyoung!” Mark says, blinking at him while Jackson tries to pull the cover back.

“Good morning, Mark hyung. I didn’t know you were here.”

“Where were you last night, anyway?” the older says as he walks out of the bed and hugs Jinyoung. Mark did not see that apart from the two of them, there was another pair of eyes, wide open, glaring at them.

“I went to the local library, lost track of time.” Jinyoung briefly squeezes the older in his arms. Just when they pull away, Jackson storms towards the bathroom and leaves the two in wonder.

“Oh, my!” Jinyoung says, as he suddenly stops eating his omelet roll, startling everyone in the dining table.

“Why?” Jackson’s brows immediately furrow hearing Mark’s question.

“I left my wallet at the local library.” He stands up from the dining area, apologizing for suddenly leaving the table; he steals his jacket and goes out of the house.

“He’s always gone whenever I’m here.” Mark mumbles as he busies himself chewing his omelet, not noticing the pouting Wang puppy beside him.

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