CHAPTER 12: I Finally Found Him

If Only They Have Given Him The Photo Earlier
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"Kiss me." Youngjae says, covering Yugyeom's eyes as he pulls him back. "Think of me, only me." he speaks again. He can feel the wetness on his boyfriend's face, but all he can do is kiss him and let his lips do the consoling. "Jaebum hyung is going to hate me now." Yugyeom replies, gripping tightly at Youngjae's waist.

 

"I'm here, Yugyeom-ah. I'm here and I love you." Yugyeom pulls away from Youngjae, he stares at his eyes and he sees love. "We're going to hell together because of this." He tells him and Youngjae smiles, his lips too wet and Yugyeom can take the blame. "I don't mind. As long as I'm with you.” Youngjae says, snakinghis arm onto Yugyeom’s shoulder, pulling him closer. “We can make anywhere our heaven." Yugyeom snickers before diving down to take Youngjae's lips. If Youngjae's not afraid, why should he?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Why are going into my things?" Jinyoung says as soon as he sees Jaebum holding the Polaroid. He walks briskly to him and goes to steal the photograph from the older's hand, taking his wallet and phone too. "You should not go into someone else's things without asking." He speaks again, urgently placing the photo inside his wallet. Jinyoung's about to go back to go far away from Jaebum, but the latter grabs his arm, preventing him from going anywhere.

 

"Jinyoung," He says, clenching his arm, "Did you know all along?" he asks, Jinyoung glances at Jaebum's eyes, they are screaming pain and betrayal. "No, not as soon as I saw you again." Jaebum grimaces from his reply, his forehead creasing, nostrils flaring. "Still, you did not tell me." Jaebum says disbelievingly, his voice hard and cold.

 

When Jinyoung did not say anything, Jaebum lets him go; he turns his back to him and goes to punch the nearest wall. "Why didn't you tell me?" Jaebum grunts, his voice just above a whisper. Because he thinks he's no longer needed, he doesn't even think Jaebum remembers, he already has Youngjae too, Jinyoung wants to say. He didn't tell him because he's now just a memory he chose to forget, making him remember it would be counterproductive. He wants to tell him that he tried to tell him, but he realized that it would probably not matter anymore.

 

Jinyoung ends up sobbing, his words stuck in his throat. Jaebum punches the wall again until red cuts start to appear on his fist. "Jaebum hyung, stop it." Jinyoung says, running towards Jaebum's back, hugging and pulling him away from the wall. "Please stop hurting yourself." He tells him as he buries his face on the older's back.

 

"What?" Jaebum asks him, disentangling the hands on his stomach. "Stop hurting myself? Why, did you think not telling me the truth won’t hurt me?” Jaebum snickers as he pushes Jinyoung off him. "And here I thought that if you were with me, I can forget how betrayed I felt." he laughs bitterly, "Turned out you're a greater liar." Jinyoung wants to reach Jaebum's cheeks and wipe the tears away, but he couldn't move. Not when Jaebum’s eyes are keeping him frozen on his spot.

 

"What world am I in?" Jaebum whispers, blinking his tears away, "Did you know why I was in the orphanage in the first place?” he says louder. “I was there because my father left us and my mother couldn't take that, so she brought me to a place with a bunch of abandoned kids. She told me she'll be back and that she'll be with me always. You know what she did? She committed suicide while I was there in the orphanage, waiting for her to come back." Jaebum's face frowns recalling the memory, “But she never did.”

 

"I hated that orphanage because I was not supposed to stay there that long. I was supposed to leave the same day I was brought there." he sniffs and sloppily wipes his tears. "Then one day, you came, crying and whining in your sleep. Shouting and begging your parents not to go. I was so mad at you because you remind me so much of how I was before. I was so mad at you because you say the words I never get to say to my mother." Jinyoung now realized why Jaebum is always looking at him spitefully when they were younger. Now he knows why despite ignoring him in the morning, he’d crawl onto his bed at night.

 

"And do you know why I was so in love with Youngjae?" Jinyoung could only give him a light shake. It's too much for him to see how pained Jaebum is and how his eyes literally become the windows to his soul. He’s broken; Jinyoung hopes he can repair him. "Because he was the closest thing to you!" Jinyoung's eyes widen, not believing what he's hearing. "He looked so small and he always gets picked on. He cries when he gets bullied and clings to me after saving him. He's gentle and he also loves singing." Jaebum reaches his hand and cups Jinyoung's face with it.

 

"The years I tried to forget you only got replaced by the closest thing to you. That was the reason I was so in love with him, I see you in him, he was you." Jinyoung can hear his insides breaking and his soul leaving his body. "Then, you came again, without me knowing it was you." he pulls his hand away, "And look what happened to me." and then he turns to walk towards the terrace of the hotel room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Please leave me alone." Jaebum says. Everything is too much for him to process. Yugyeom and Youngjae dating, Jinyoung being the kid in the orphanage. Both his head and heart are hurting, he needs time alone to process it all.

 

But he has never felt that empty again after hearing the hotel door locks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jinyoung runs off from the room towards the hallway towards the elevator. He wipes his tears and stares at his reflection on the elevator walls. He looks pathetic, his hair is still wet and his clothes are haphazardly placed on. When the door opens, he runs off again, realizing he forgot to wear his shoes from how he feels the cold and hard asphalt under his feet.

 

He wants to ask what the hell is happening in his life right now. Few months ago he and Jackson took the leap of fate and went to Seoul. Next moment there’s Mark. Next moment he sees Jaebum. Next moment they became friends. Next moment Jackson is mad at him. Next moment he’s back in Busan. And now, he's walking towards the same route towards the train station.

 

He stops his tracks and breathes in deep, something inside him finally clicked in. Maybe he wasn't meant to be in Seoul after all. Maybe the universe is telling him that he should go back to where he was because that's where he's meant to be. Disregarding the looks the people are giving him, Jinyoung buys a one-way ticket to Busan with a promise to never come back again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mark and Jackson are sitting in front of Nichkhun who is massaging his temples. "So you are telling me that you guys are finally dating each other?" He asks, peeking through the gaps of his fingers. They nod at the same, sharing a small giggle too. "Congratulations?" he tells him, giving the two younger guys a smile. "It’s about time. I'm getting tired of you playing around."

 

Jackson and Mark turn towards each other, smiling and sharing a knowing look. "So you mean, it's okay with you?" Jackson says and even though he doesn't have a dog's ears and tail, Nichkhun could see him wagging it. "Yes, of course." The hyung replies, "What isn't okay with me is how you made Jinyoung ran back to Busan." he says and sighs. "Yejin called me yesterday, Jinyoung is there with her and she also told me that you should fix whatever problem you two have."

 

Jackson bows his head down, "Yes, hyung. She called me too." he says and Mark reaches to hold his hand. "And you, Mark, since you're older you should know better. Okay?" Mark nods at him and urges Jackson to bow together at Nichkhun. "When is Jinyoung coming back anyway?" Nichkhun asks particularly to no one, looking at his watch. It's already seven in the evening; he wasn't able to ask Yejin when Jinyoung's coming back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After Jinyoung left, Jaebum called for the hotel service and ordered a couple of bottles of wines. He’s going to his last resort to forget everything even just for a while. When the morning comes, he wakes up with a throbbing headache. He gingerly sits on his bed and sees a pair of shoes which isn't his, Jinyoung left last night barefooted.

 

Eventually what happened to him the day before puzzled up, he grimaces and pulls his hair. He asked Jinyoung to explain, but the younger never gets to do so, probably too scared seeing how he lost his temper. Even though he's mad, he should have given Jinyoung a chance to explain, that would be beneficial for both of them, but instead he asked him to leave.

 

It's unusual for him to do it, but he sends his parents a message that he'll be taking the day off. Then, he proceeds to Nichkhun's house after showering. He hopes that Jinyoung would talk to him. He had just fixed a fight with Jinyoung and here he is again, going to fix another one.

 

Bambam is the first person Jaebum sees when he reached the house. The younger looks like he's about to go to school, but he's frowning. "Hey, Bam." He greets him and the kid only gives a wave and a bow. "What's wrong?" he asks, slinging his arm over the kid's shoulder, glancing towards the door. "I miss Jinyoung hyung." he replies, pouting.

 

"What? Isn't he there?" Jaebum queries, pulling away from Bambam and moving closer to the door, peeking in. "He hasn't been home for few days. Uncle Nickhun says Jinyoung's okay and I should not worry, but I really miss him." The kid replies forlornly. "He didn't go home yesterday?" Jaebum the moves back in front of Bambam, holding the kid's arms.

 

Bambam shakes his head. Where did he go? Jaebum asks himself. He pulls out his phone and dials Jinyoung's number, only to hear a computer generated female voice. '!' he says under his breath and dials the number again, but, of course, he gets the same answer. Without saying goodbye to Bambam, he rides back inside his car. Glancing at the pair of shoes at the backseat, Jaebum asks himself, 'Where are you Jinyoung?'

 

Jaebum drives towards the train station where he picked Jinyoung up the night before. On his way there, he remembers the Polaroid photo in Jinyoung's wallet. In his defense, he wasn't really going to pry on Jinyoung’s stuff without permission. He knows it's not nice, it just so happened that the wallet fell on the floor and the photo slipped out.

 

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autumnrhythm5 #1
Chapter 15: Read this again for the second time, still with the same awe🥹🥹🥹
All your fics are really good, I am a fan!!!
Thankyou for always writing beautiful story of JJP🤍
TheFanFicHoeX
#2
Chapter 15: Chapter 15: One of the best jjstories. ;) KUDOS!!
Hope I can read more jjproject aus from you
Again, thank yoooou for such a wonderful work ~
TheFanFicHoeX
#3
Chapter 11: This chapter is such a rollercoaster. I was crying my eyes out when Jinyoungie was talking to Aunt Yejin, especially that part when he says it's so unfair that Jaeb forgit about him when he literally carries memories of Jaebum with him all his life :(

Ugggh!!!! My heart
TheFanFicHoeX
#4
Chapter 7: Aaaaaw.. Jinyoungie :(
But that's fine though.
Let Jaeb find you and remember you
His feelings are still muddy anyway
Because he thinks he is in love with another
T______T
Msanne #5
Chapter 15: I love it.. this is so beautiful :")
kyuxxxx
#6
Chapter 15: I lost my words, it's a masterpiece!! It's beautiful, very beautiful:")
kassia
#7
Chapter 15: this fic was so breathtakingly beautiful. pls continue writing
secretglow #8
Chapter 15: you know what this is so beautiful, i never cry sso much and smiling too by reading this, i love it so much :")
Starlight82397 #9
Chapter 15: OH MY GOSH!!! YOU MADE ME LAUGH, SQUEAL IN DELIGHT, SAD, CRY, CRY, AND CRY!!!! THIS IS SUCH A WONDERFUL STORY!!! I LOVE IT!!! YOU DID AN AMAZING JOB!!!!! I SALUTE YOU!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3