What happened to us oppa?

There was nothing but dead silence on Jonghyuns part, Seungyeons question startled him as much as it did for her.

Maybe we both changed? Maybe we got too caught up in what we had during filming that without even realising it we allowed ourselves to actually believe that we had something when clearly we didn’t.

Aniii, he finally replied. There was and still something between us Seungyeonah please do not be in a haste to come up with such things just to protect your heart. I know Ive caused you so much pain but that doesn't mean that you get to throw everything that we had away. 

We went through life thats all.

Seungyeon was confused on where this conversation was going. 

What do you mean oppa? 

Literally we went through life instead of growing with it. We were so sure of ourselves individually and collectively that we were confident that as we go through with the flow that life brings forth us we’d find ourselves towards each other, together.

But that wasn't the case was it?

Seungyeons reply brought forth a sting in Jonghyuns heart, despite of this he knew that what she said was the truth.

Deh, we forgot that we had to grow with it, we had to adapt to the changes that it brought forth. We were so sure that love would be enough that we ended up forgetting that in order to have it we should have worked for it. I should've worked on it.

His last statement made Seungyeons heart break.

Aniiiii oppa….

Seungyeonssi I know what you have gone through because of me, Hyung told me….

At the mention of such Seungyeons tears began to fall. Deh oppa, a lot of it was on you but I cant help but feel that some of it was with me too, I expected too much oppa, I depended on you too much that I forgot to leave some parts for myself. You see oppa, we both did not expect this and we both finally decided to acknowledge it part of me was thrilled beyond comparison but a greater part of me was terrified, I couldn't understand why someone like you would like someone like me, so everyday as much as it was a day of bliss and happiness it also felt like a deadline, would it be this day where you'd realize that there wasn't anything that was special at all, will it be tomorrow or the week after that. And when you didn't do anything the questions started to seep in, they drowned me oppa, as much as I wanted this to work I was also anticipating it to fail. 

Jonghyun was surprised with all of this. He attempted to wipe the tears off her face but she swatted his hands off.

Oppa…. she pleaded… You don't get to do that anymore.

With this he slowly closed his fist in pain at what she said.

Arasso, Seungyeonah why do you always think about the worse for yourself? How is that even possible? You see so much good with other people but with yourself? You've always been too harsh.

Deh oppa, but I am starting to get better, this whole experience taught me so much. Thats why I cant be with you oppa.

Once again Jonghyun felt that a whiff of harsh wind slapped him in the face. Seungyeonsssi…

Hear me out oppa ok? I just got back on stable ground again, all of this, all of what happened they taught me so much about me that Ill be forever grateful for it. Ive learned that  at the end of the day I am enough, that despite of the doubts that constantly swirl and bother me there is such a thing where you can use these doubts to stir you towards a direction of strength. For they exist not because they are the truth, they only thrive if we become resolute and paralysed by them. Doubt doesn't ruin us oppa, they are nothing but empty promises, fear on the other hand is what inhibits us the most, fear that these doubts are the truth when they actually aren’t. What Im trying to say is, I cant be with you because before I can be I have to be with myself.

Jonghyun could just nod, he understood what Seungyeon was asking but there was one question that has been nagging him with her entire departure. He took a deep breath and finally asked.

I understand Seungyeonah but what if….throughout this process you would find someone else?

Seungyeon smiled at his question and couldn't help but be touched by the worry that he sported on his face.

Ah oppa, we can not control those things, but I guess you just have to block him before he gets to me arasso?

Her reply made Jonghyun smile so much that his dimples went deeply in the corners of his cheeks. Ill make sure of it he replied.

Seungyeon for the first time smiled at him genuinely and had that twinkle back in her eyes. She stood up and was preparing to leave when Jonghyun reached for his arm and pulled her close.

Seungyeonah lets make a deal, remember that pot that i gave you? Lets plant it down here and when the first or two quarters of the year finally fold in and it starts to grow its stalk and leaves lets meet up here again and talk on where we both now stand. Deal?

Deal, but oppa how can you make sure that it wont wither or move elsewhere? 

Jonghyun just gave out a smile, Trust me Seungyeonah, go find your way, and when you do, we’ll both be here waiting.

Lets plant that tree then.