Jonghyun was sitting by the VIP area and was quietly waiting for her appa's reply to his appeal. Surprisingly he didnt stand Jonghyun off, he received him quietly at the restaurant and even prepared a meal for him. He was so nervous though that he could not even bear to touch the food. There was an eery silence between them both processing what he just said. Finally he took a deep breath and slowly uttered his response.

Aniii, biane Jonghyun but I cannot help you with that. Dont get this the wrong way I liked you for my daughter but I saw how distraught she was when everything was falling apart. Dont rush into things Jonghyunah you had half of the year to make up for it. Why now then? Whats the difference this time? Was it because Hiro came back to the picture?

At the mention of his name Jonghyuns face went blank and pale.

You have to think of this thoroughly for you and Seungyeons sake, are you really pursuing this because you want her back and you're ready for it to work despite all odds, or are you here again temporarily because you were threatened?

Is it a case of ego then? Maybe because the namja in you is reeling from the loss of what was once your most treasured possession. Are you in this because you're in love with Seungyeon or are you in it because you like the concept of love and loving someone in return. Those are two different things Jonghyunah, both are good things but the latter is fleeting, its temporary because once you fill that void within you then off you go pursuing other things again. But the former it takes a lot of work, even when there are days when you don't feel like it you choose to stay in love, its a choice that you make every single day. You hold on both to the memories of what used to be, look forward to whats going to be, and work towards heaven and earth for what currently is in order to hold all three visions altogether.

While you decide on that I can't let Seungyeon be part of the casualties again, one day you'll understand when you'll have your own children. I think I can only genuinely help you when the day comes that I can see that you can love her more than I do. I hope you find your answers Jonghyun and I hope that now you understand and respect mine.

Jonghyun was sitting in his car now at the parking lot and he was sobbing. Everything that her father said was on point and completely selfless, he wanted to hate him for refusing to help him patch things up with Seungyeon but he understood completely, it confused him even more. He was so sure that initially he wanted her but now with what her appa said about his decisions and desires he was all the more bothered. Was he really that selfish for him not to see it? aaaaaaaaaaah! He was pounding the steering wheel now because of his frustration, he needed to talk to someone and think things through, he couldn't believe how selfish he had been after all this time. He dialled a number.

Hyung can we meet up?

Jonghyuns manager came into the VIP section of the bar and he saw him sulking, sporting a dark aura and a scotch in hand.

Jonghyunah whats wrong?

Hyuuuuung, was I really that bad?

Well yeah most of the time, but Jonghyunah what happened?

Seungyeon happened,her appa happened, nothings happening, thats the problem.

He sat down beside him, gulped a glass of scotch and breathed deeply.

I was so sure hyung at the beginning, of her, of everything, I dont know if subconsciously I was too into it that I considered it work and mixed business with pleasure, and when it ended I missed it, I tried, but…. I got too busy, too distracted, too focused in making the comeback work that I took things for granted. I was so sure that she was always going to be there, that if it was meant to be it would. But I think I played with time and fate too much hyun I became too reliant on them that I actually forgot that I had to give my end of the bargain that I had to put myself out there as well. I got so  used to my auto pilot mode that I forgot what it was like to be human again, its the same case of burn out that happened last year hyung. And when I met her last year she saved me,her honesty, simplicity, mystery it was refreshing, the lack of pretentiousness she was like a breath of fresh air, just when I was breathing again I became too greedy and forgot about the one thing that helped got me where I am today. And then I lost her. How was she hyun? How is she? What did she think about all of this when I sent her single lined replies and one word  updates, how did she take that in hyung?

Jonghyunah its not my place to say but you hurt her deeply. Dont get me wrong ok? You may think that Seungyeon is such a fragile and innocent girl she’s not, she understood that you were busy, did you forget that she works in the same industry as you did? What broke her the most was that she was working at it alone, she was trying desperately to hold the pieces back together or what was left of it, she was carrying the entire load when you left and promised that you'd get back soon. She was willing to work for it and in that process  despite being her guarded self she was giving pieces of herself, her heart to you, to give you strength for your journey back home to her. Eventually she realised that somehow you weren't coming back you were too engrossed and greedy with chasing after the world and using up her energy that she was exhausted.She was tired of holding things together, of being afraid on when it'll break, thats why London was supposed to be her break, her space to think things through. But then you showed up and it reminded on how little space she had in your heart. 

Jonghyuns tears was streaming down his face now.

That conversation that you shared in that hall? It wasn't her breaking up with you, because lets be honest you both never had anything to begin with right? Imagine how painful must that be to her, at that moment she was breaking off all the memories that she shared with you. She wasn't just saying goodbye to what you both have at the present, she, was letting go of the past as well.She was letting things fall through Jonghyunah to make sure that everything was clear and lost up until the future. SHE wanted to move forward even without you.

Arasso hyung I messed  up.

No you did not. You forgot that was the problem.

Forgot?

Deh you forgot…. to live.

She always reminded me of that. And she’s at it again.

Now, you just have to decide if you want to live a life with her in it or not.