Unexpected Gifts
In your eyesJonghyun found himself sitting on a bench meditating again after almost 7 days of staying in the temple. He was so used to the peace and quiet now and the serene pace that he actually had time to think clearly. His thoughts resonate twofold giving him the opportunity to carefully assess the situation before him. The past few days have been helpful but unfortunately not rewarding. He was able to think thoroughly of his mistakes yes, but he wasnt able to make up any resolutions just yet.
He's supposed to meet up with one of the monks today to tell his story and ask for their sage advice, his stay has been a pleasant escape so far, but this place also reminded him of her so much. The calligraphy classes, the way the light would pass through the templesbeams and illuminate everything to a lighter shade, he couldnt help but remember and miss looking into her eyes. Even during his kitchen duty he remembered how she thoughtfully gave him ingredients as gifts since she knew he loved cooking.
She was everywhere....and nowhere all at the same time.
A slight hum of the chime reminded him to go and meet the monk that was assigned for him today. As he reached the entrance, a pale yet smiling man motioned for him to come in he gave out his greetings and sat in front of him.
Ah its really nice to see someone so young come here, I must admit I was surprised when I heard about you we rarely have guests that are of your age. But my years of experience tell me that you are probably here not just to think but perhaps something grave is bothering you?
Deh, I actually am here to carefully think things through. You see I have been quite neglectful of the people around me lately that I ended up hurting them without even realizing it. And just when I was about to make up for it I think that it might be too late and cause more harm than good not just for me but for her more importanly.
Ah.... arasso so its about a girl then?
An embarassed Jonghyun could only give out a nod.
The monk let out a gentle chuckle. Ah! You really are surprising, usually a man your age goes out to explore but why do I feel that you are done exploring and you have found the one for you? You seem to be utterly sure of it too.
Yes I am sure of her, believe me it surprised me too and everyone close to me, I never planned on this but I am beyond sure of her, she was and is my breath of fresh air when I am drowning from all the toxicities of life. The way she looks, she carries herself, the way her mind works, and the mystery that surrounds her gives me life. The way she sees kindness with everyone and how she gives it back astounds me, the world that we live in sometimes can be too demanding, manipulative, and fake yet she always finds goodness in everything. What I did to her or the lack thereof... I am fearful that somehow I made that girl lost her way, I am definitely sure of her but....
I am not sure if I ought to be with her, if I deserve to be with her.
You do not.
The monks straightforward remark surprised Jonghyun and gutted him right unto his stomach.
Dddddddeh???? Excuse me?
You do not. No one in this world is born equal with what they want, we are bound to have inadequacies but these insufficiencies teaches us to work harder, it motivates us to be better. Clearly we do not deserve anything in this world it was all handed over to us, the question of earning their merit on the other hand lies entirely unto us what we do with their love, with their presence, with the gift of them being in our lives. Do we put them on display, do we take care of them consistently or occasionally, do we show our gratitude for the impact that they have made in our lives or do we assume that they know automatically. The question is not why or if we do deserve them but how do we deserve them. How do we value their presence in our life. And if you find yourself at loss for answers and how you carried things through then you have two choices let it wither away or build new soil and slowly cultivate and grow what was once almost lost.
Kahmsamnida for your wise words I shall keep them in mind and hopefully one day come back, bring her along with me and thank you again for it, Jonghyun was amazed with how the Monk cleared things off him.
But be warned young man growing back withered roots take time, they may be unyielding and refuse to grow back after years of neglect. One must be willing to endure the hardship and the unexpected misfortunes along the way. Sometimes the root may be immensely stubborn that you have to pull it out and find new ground, its flowers may opt to delay its bloom to ensure that there are enough elements to take care of it. Its all about consistency, patience and desire young man but more than that its all about love that goes beyond you. When you find yourself devoted to that person more than your life itself thats when you are sure that youre on your way to getting the merits that you deserve.
Jonghyun kept replaying the conversation that he had with the monk, in order not to forget he even wrote it down in case that his thoughts would be muddled up again. He was on his way back to seoul now, but more than that he cannot help but shake the feeling that he was on his way to her.
A delivery for Ms. Gong Seungyeon?
Seungyeon was surprised when her manager handed her a package. Whos it from? she asked.
He could only shrug as he was as clueless as her.
She opened the package and she saw two items inside, a blue hydrangea and a pot with soil in it. She was quite confused on what the two things meant. She took the card at the bottom of the box and immediately she recognized whose handwriting it was.
Seungyeonssi,A small gift to make up for the months that passed by and more importantly a chance asking to explain. Enclosed within here is a blue hydrangea, just like the day that I first met you wearing that blue coat I knew that together we would flourish. A hydrangea means perseverance, its said to grow a different color depending on the soil you put it through, Ive been growing it for the past weeks and to my surprise it gave out a beautiful shade of blue. Hydrangeas are said to be difficult to grow because theyre selective with the soil that they grow into and more importantly theyre very careful with the elements around them. Ive been taking care of it carefully for you, can you now take care of it for me? As for the second present, I need to see you in order to explain it well.Please meet me at this place for one last time or not. Lets talk.Ill be waiting.....
It was signed by him, his name written in chinese characters just like how she used to write it for him.
Seungyeon was blinking at the card that she had just read, she was beyond confused yes on how he chose to show up again and how. But she was all the more surprised on how she was acting, her mind was telling her not to go but she already grabbed her car keys and was finding her way towards her car. The pull was inexplicable,she didnt know what would come out of this but she was sure of one thing....
She was coming.
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