January 2013

New Years came and went leading Yun to into finding herself alone since everyone was picking up their activates for the new year. She rolled around on the carpeted floor, since she has been crowded by others for the last few weeks she didn't know what to do now with all this alone time. Her longtime friend seemed to have sensed this and walked over to her. Happily, Yun sat up on her elbows and began to play with Hotaru. 'How could Jiyong miss you?' She wondered as she picked up the old pet that she grew up with. "Where you hiding from them?" She asked the old cat who meowed in response. 'Have you gained weight?' She wondered as she stared at the Siamese cat then sighed. "How did you spend your New Years? Did papa treat you well?" She said looking at her father as she said this. Her father laugh and signed a response. 'Don't act as if I do not take care of her.' Yun laughed and as her father seemed slightly offended at the idea. 'I am happy to see you well fed too dad.' She signed to her father.

'How did you like this years end of year ceremonies?' She asked her father, giddy to hear the answer she already knew. Her father clicked his tongue. 'They really know how to put on a show. Some were bland but the ones who showed excitement and emotions made it feel as if I could hear their performances perfectly.' He signed then turned away from his daughter. He knew her game, to figure out if he could guess who performed a song she wrote and if he liked it or not. Yun laughed, she never got tired of their game. 'You are the one who started it old man.' She thought to herself smiling at the memories of her childhood.

Her parents and her watching the television watching performances trying to guess which did 'the great Saturn' preform. She watched her father's back as he walked into the kitchen. "Papa, you are getting older. Be careful, although you are feeling ok now. I don't want to lose you as well." She said out loud knowing her father couldn't hear her. Rested her head on her hands as she watched her father start to make tea. "I have been having those memories again. Since my birthday they are slowly coming out of me. I locked them away with others and I worry." Yun's eyes started to get glassy as she remembered her 24th birthday that just past. "Those memories and the memories of our family are interlaced in that chest I kept locked away. So if one shows then wouldn't the other?" Yun hid her face into her arms making it so she was staring at the carpet. "If those memories come out again will I have to go back like before?" She wondered. 'I wonder if this is a sign that I can't keep running.'

It was January 2005

Yun was 17 years old. Her eyes widen as the MC re-read the announcement. "The winners of the Rookie of the Year, Females is Lavender!" The girls looked at each other around the table. All their faces were blank as  looked at each other. It was Ari who brought them back by breaking into a smile. "WE DID IT GIRLS!" Nami cheered as they  got up. The members of Jewelry, Sugar and TRAX stood up as they walked by to show their support. Yun and Hyejung walked to the stage hand-in-hand trying hard not to tear up from happiness. Skye took the chance to shake high-five the members of TVXQ, later saying it was a 'now or never' moment for her. Ari received the glass trophy from the MC as the other members received a miniature bouquet of flowers. "When we made 'Rosette Nebula' we never thought it would be so good we would be standing on this stage. We debuted in almost a year ago but for us to be here…" Ari took a deep breath and glanced at her sisters. Nami was waving to the camera as she and Yun held Skye's hands as she cried her eyes out. "We thank you all and hope you watch us grow into an amazing group that will make you all proud."  Ari said then allowed Skye to thank everyone from the company and the fans who supported them since their debut song.

"We did have some good times." Yun got up and went to the stairs. 'I wonder how long it has been since I went to my old room.' She wondered, placing a strand of hair behind her ear. Hotaru followed up the stairs with her owner, purring comforting sounds. "Take me to the garden. Hold my hand til I can stand on my own." Yun sung in a soft voice as she reached her room , the lyrics of a song she would never forget. "Take me to a place both known and unkown." She stopped singing and opened the door. Her bed was made with a deep blue quilt that her grandmother made for her as a congratulations gift for debuting. Scattered on the walls were posters of Lavender through all their eras. A display shelf with all their albums, singles, mini and full. Her old keyboard sat on her bed. Stuffed animals and magazines on her old school desk. Her father told her he would leave it just the way she left it, although he obviously dusted and cleaned the floors. Her eyes zeroed in on a trash can he never emptied. Inside was some broken albums and torn posters. Yun felt her heart beat a bit faster, nervously she reached for her chest. 'Calm down.  Calm down Yun.' She told herself trying not to get caught up in emotions. 'You moved on from then. It has been long enough for the pain to dull.'

Yun awkwardly laughed at the thought as she decided to take a seat on the edge of her bed.

It was December 22, 2008.

She was curled up staring blankly at her mother as she walked into her bedroom. Her eyes dead to her surroundings as she spent the last few weeks either crying herself to sleep or ignoring most of the food that her mother placed outside her room. It has been a month since  Lavender disbanded officially. Her mother knocked on her door and let herself in. "Yun. You need to get up." Her mother said, saddened by the sight of Yun. "Your father needs you right now to be strong ok. He wants to sign with you again, saying he was getting rusty." Her mother tried and failed to smooth out her bedhead. Her mother sighed and looked at her watch, feeling stressed out by what was going on in the household. "This is why I was against you even joining a girl group. Music brings nothing but trouble. You should have learned that when your father and I sepa