Jessica stood alone on the balcony, wind blowing through her hair as she stared at the view outside. It was dark because the time was 2 AM at best, or probably 3 AM. She wasn’t sure but she really didn’t care about that at the moment. She looked at all the visible buildings out in the distance and all the lights that accompanied them. Seoul was beautiful at night. The sky with its millions of stars and the bright big full moon were also keeping Jessica company. But unfortunately, she didn’t give a damn at all. She didn’t care how amazing the city looked or how breathtakingly beautiful and romantic the night sky was. All that was on her mind was Taeyeon. She had occupied every single part of it, so Jessica couldn’t think of anything else at all.

Flashes of the blonde’s smile appeared before the girl’s eyes. She could also hear her cute laugh ringing in her ears as if Taeyeon was right there next to her. God, she found everything about her adorable and she wanted to spend every second of her time with the blonde. The feeling was so strong that it was almost unbearable for the girl. Jessica thought that it might actually be stronger than how she felt when she was around Kris.

It was so different with Taeyeon. She felt safe with her, like nothing in this world could ever hurt her. Jessica loved spending time with the blonde, when the two of them were just having fun and enjoying each other’s company. She knew that Taeyeon liked her romantically because of the kiss and Jessica had finally come to terms with her feelings as well. The only thing that was stopping her, though, was fear. She was afraid that she’d lose Taeyeon if they end up being in a relationship. She was so damn scared of that to the point that it was stopping her from acting on her feelings for the girl.

It was good that Jessica was alone on the balcony because she then began crying. The tears were just falling down her beautiful face without stopping. She didn’t have the power to bring them to a halt, so Jessica just allowed them stream down her red cheeks. The girl just let everything that she’d been holding inside herself out all at once, the desperation, hurt, anxiety, jealousy, everything...

While she was crying, though, Jessica suddenly felt a pair of familiar arms wrap around her body. It was unexpected and even made her jump up a little, but still, she was glad to have them there because she knew perfectly well who they belonged to – the person who had been on her mind all this time, who had made her lift all her barriers up and had captured her heart. Taeyeon…

The blonde was back-hugging her without saying anything at all for reasons Jessica didn’t know. Then suddenly, the creative director of Blanc & Eclare turned around and wrapped her arms around the girl as well, embracing her. Afterwards, she buried her face in Taeyeon’s neck and just continued crying her eyes out. The whole scene felt heartbreaking for Taeyeon because she had no idea what had suddenly happened and why Jessica was acting this way. She had no idea what had made her so upset, but she continued not saying anything because the other girl obviously just needed to cry everything out. So, Taeyeon just tightened the hug and held Jessica even closer to herself, moving her hand over her back and caressing it gently at the same time.

“Shhh… It’s okay. I’m here,” Taeyeon told her with the softest and most caring voice Jessica had ever heard in her life.

Of course she was there for her. Jessica knew that perfectly well. The problem wasn’t that at all. It was the fact that Jessica was stopping herself from acting on her feelings. God, she hated how afraid she was of what might happen in the future if she were to be together with Taeyeon. She wished that she didn’t love the girl or that Yuri would be with her, or just someone else because Taeyeon deserved to be happy in her opinion. More than anyone else, she deserved it. In Jessica’s eyes, the blonde was such a kind-hearted and caring person. How could someone like that not be allowed the best gift in the world - happiness?

“I’m sorry…” Jessica apologized and continued crying against the other girl’s neck. “I’m so sorry, Taeyeon.”

Taeyeon shushed her without asking any questions. She didn’t know why Jessica was saying she was sorry but that didn’t matter at the moment. The only important thing was that the other girl had to calm down, and the only thing she could do in order for that to happen would be to just cry. Eventually, she will stop and relax.

A few minutes later, that’s exactly what happened, Jessica stopped. A long sigh escaped the creative director’s mouth afterwards and she pulled her head away from the other girl’s neck, finally looking at her in the eyes.

“You feeling better now?” Taeyeon then asked with a look of concern on her face. Jessica just nodded in reply without saying anything. After that, she pulled away from Taeyeon and turned around, looking at the view once again. Taeyeon went beside her and stared at the city lights as well. Both stood silent for a couple of more minutes just looking at something but thinking about something else. Taeyeon wanted to know what had happened, so she was the first to break the silence between them by saying, “What happened just now? Why did you apologize? You didn’t do anything to me...”

She was very confused because she had absolutely no idea what was going on and why Jessica was acting this way. Really, she had no clue and everything felt so strange.

“No, I did do something wrong,” Jessica began speaking and Taeyeon could feel the hurt in her voice. “I can’t return your feelings and it’s killing me…”

“It’s not your fault that you’re not attracted to women, Jess. Don’t beat yourself up for that,” Taeyeon just told her without having any idea about the real reason why the girl couldn’t return her feelings.

“No, you’re wrong…” Jessica turned to look at her and shook her head. “I lied to you that day…”

“Wait? What?” Taeyeon asked in disbelief since she couldn’t really comprehend what she was hearing right at that moment. “You lied to me? Why did you do that?”

Her eyes widened in shock because what Jessica was saying didn’t make any sense to her. Why would she lie to me about something so important? If she also liked me, why didn’t she just say it?

All of this made Taeyeon a bit angry because she really didn’t like being lied to and she hoped that Jessica had a darn good reason for doing so. It hurt her a lot that the girl had rejected her but now it hurt even more when she knew Jessica did it on purpose. She could’ve just told her that she liked her as well, could’ve kissed her or something, but she chose not to. Instead, she broke her heart and made them stay only as friends when they could’ve been so much more.

“I’m so sorry, Tae…” Jessica apologized once more as tears began forming in her eyes again. “I was afraid…” Afraid? What could she have been afraid of? Taeyeon wondered and looked at the other girl, the anger from before disappearing just like that and being replaced with concern. Is she scared of being with a girl or just commitment again? Is she not ready to be with anyone because she can’t get over the death of her boyfriend? All kinds of different thoughts ran through the blonde’s mind as soon as she heard Jessica’s words. Still, she didn’t say anything and just waited for the other girl to continue speaking. “I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. When I’m with someone, they get hurt or die. Just… Something bad happens and I don’t want to take that risk, Tae… I do like you so much and I want nothing more than to be with you but I can’t. It’s like I’m bound to stay alone forever…”

Jessica spilled absolutely everything out, all her th