Character Bios

The Barbarian's Cherry Blossom

(Upper left Rainoric; Lower left Sakura; Upper right center man Ulrich; Middle right Wulfgar; Lower right Osgar)

Prince Rainoric Eadwulf (Broken Lord)

Heir to the throne of Gimael, Prince Rainoric or Rainier or Rain depending on whos talking, Is a Gimaelite through and through and shares the same personality as his father Gewis, Zealous, Courageous, Easily Beserked,egotistical, Impulsive, resourceful, stubborn, strong and cunning (A traditional Warrior King). He would almost make a fight out of anyone that looks at him with a cold stare, calling him "Barbarian", making him do something he doesnt want to do or he just wants fight just to prove how strong and powerful he is.

This all changed when he met Sakura. Her calm and mannered demeanor left a mark on his Dust clouded mind and it changed him from a heartless and brutal barbarian warlord to a mature and open minded leader of people. He has a long road ahead of him if he wants to prove himself worthy of being a king to his father. He will need more than his fighting prowess, his cunning and his Gedriht (bodyguards and followers) in order to succed. Perhaps the help of human girl whose name means '"Flower" in her tongue....

Being a Gimaelite Noble warrior, Rainoric and other sons of Gimael learned how to properly use weapons such as a  sword, spear, axe, javelin and ride on horseback. Plus being a Broken Lord, he is through a minor degree cast basic dust spells like air pushes, fire, calm etc. (to be added as the story goes on)

Sakura Miyawaki (Earth Human)

A member of an all-female group of singing and dancing of bards (thou she insists she is called an "idol of not the worshipping kind") who was taken from her planet Earth by Gewis to be made a servant for his castle. She at first was saddened and depressed by by the fact that she was about to peak her idol career if it wasnt for a Gimaelic raid in Tokyo she was unfortunate to be in at the time. After saving Rainoric from being injured by a wild beasts on a hunt. The 2 unlikely pair held a special bond with each other.

A kind, open-minded, calm and well mannered young lady. She is the polar opposite to Rainoric's Wild Barbarian peronsality. Sakura maybe the only person in the Gedriht that could turn Rainoric's willdness in to a strong capable and accomplished leader.

 

Ulrich "the Young Wolf" Langobard (Aurigan Human/Tetike Hybrid)

The adopted bastard (Born out of wedlock) son of Lethuc "the Great Wolf" Langobard, Ulrich has from time and time again survive against the odds with the elements and anyone who would try to get scratch of a sword on him. Usually wears a wolf pelt (and pants and just those 2) on his head and sometimes a thick bear fur shirt on his chest during winter. A fearless fighter and swift scout, he acquired his abilities when he was sent to a Tetike village to train himself for battle. Tetikes are renowned humanoid wolfmen who's hunting prowess is legendary among the Aurigan's. In addition, while he was there he was infused with sacred Tetike blood which gives Ulrich heightened senses and can move faster than a normal man. He is best friends with Rainoric and also trusts Sakura (Ulrich's trust is very hard to earn). A young man who speaks crudely and prefers to speak with his actions (his sword), he follows Rainoric on his journey as the gedriht's scout.

Wulfgar "The Tower" Garulf (Broken Lord)

A giant amongst men, standing 6'9 feet tall, Wulfgar "the Tower" or "the Huscarl" is one of the greatest amongst the Gimaelic fighters. With his great axe "Rock Breaker" and a shield in his back (he sees backstabbing dishonorable and cowardly) He follows Rainoric as a personal bodyguard to the future king of Gimael. Honorable, Brave, Friendly and always looking for his next worthy opponent, Wulfgar will stand ready to fight and loot some treasure while he's at it.

Osgar "God Spear" Daguth (Aurigan Human)

"God Spear" is the very definition of a spearman. Steadfast, unfliching, and adamant, Osgar earned his right as a champion of Gimael starting from the bottom of the army ranking to a personal bodyguard of the king. Traditionally spears and axes are given to the common soldier since swords are harder and costly to make and is reserved for the leaders and the most courageous of fighters. Osgar formed a deep bond with his spear during his career as a regular foot soldier and when he was given a sword, he declined and demanded he still wield his spear in battle. One of his greatest feats was stopping a Geldrius (a large snow --- gorrila/elephant) from stampeding helpless peasants by standing firm in his placed and piercing the head of the beast with his spear. When out of combat, Osgar also likes to drink ale while telling sagas or looking at paintings when no one is looking.

 

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Amalya
#1
Chapter 6: Hmm. So things are certainly unfolding at a quick pace here. It's a little bit tricky keeping track of things because the forces were jumping around on Earth, showing up in one place when they were apparently expected in another, and the defenses against the intruders seem pretty ineffective. I know they're space faring warriors but couldn't we get a little more detail beyond 'necklaces' that protect them. How exactly do these things protect them?

I do like how you've been explaining more and giving more detail as the story progresses, so that's definitely something, but I have noticed a relative habit of how your voice suddenly jumps in to mention how this will be important later or explains something in the now and it's jarring. You could have one of the characters explain things mid-story, or even use the non-dialogue space to add world details that wouldn't pull the reader out of the moment when they're reading.

I was also a little confused by Rainoric's reaction to Sakura because he, and his people/friends, seem to be treating slaves with remarkable manners. But who knows. Maybe that's just the way they treat beings so far below them. *shrug* I also would prefer if you actually did more showing instead of telling with your battle scenes as opposed to saying "I'll let you use your imagination here." It comes off as lazy writing. I can imagine plenty, but I still want guidelines when you're showing me your world and what's happening in it. Do you know what I mean?

In this chapter, I was also curious when Sakura hit her head? I didn't catch that so I was surprised when she was suddenly waking up from a week long coma. :S But things are slowly starting to come together and while I'm not sure what the larger, central conflict of the world is going to be just yet, you seem to have tension aplenty between the people as a warrior race, if nothing else.
Amalya
#2
Chapter 3: Okay. So I'm just starting to read this and while I probably won't comment on every chapter, I do intend to pause every so often. I think the image in the character bio page is broken since I can't see the picture at all. I'm personally not a huge fan of character bios in the beginning of the story myself but in this case, I do think it's helpful information since most of the characters are almost completely new (goodness knows I've never heard of most of them haha).

For this chapter, I have at least begun to get an idea of what's going on in the story, though I find myself wishing for more description. What do these people look like? What sorts of mannerisms do they have, other than surprising knockouts when someone is apparently talking too long? Are they all humanoid? Do any of them talk with accents? These kinds of things. I did appreciate the explanations at the bottom of the chapter, though I also think you might have been able to work them into the story. While I also appreciate you have linked the information available for us to read up on the Endless game series, it's also something I tend to think you may want to work on incorporating more yourself. Then again, I don't know if you were expecting people to be familiar with the Endless game series if they found your story, so that could just be me at the moment.

I would say be careful with some of your spellings since I noticed a few mistakes here and there, but overall, things are easy enough to understand. I'm curious to see how the rest of the world/story unfolds with that tag you've added at the end of this update in regards to world changing consequences. heh We shall see.
UltimateLockSmith
#3
Chapter 37: Wow... Annya became a sacrifice... Rena's well... both her and Jurina in one go.... ....
fenrirabyss
#4
Chapter 36: OMG awesome update 10/10 OMG Jurina what are you doing!?!?!?!
fenrirabyss
#5
Chapter 34: Why?....I dont know what to do now......T^T
RukaKikuchi
#6
Chapter 34: *speechless* *tears flowing* Why...? T^T
RukaKikuchi
#7
Chapter 33: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! TT_____TT
RukaKikuchi
#8
Chapter 32: WOAH! This is a new kind of body swap... uh, if you can count it that. XD
Update soon! *bows*
RukaKikuchi
#9
Chapter 24: O_________O Holy freaking crap......
UltimateLockSmith
#10
Chapter 8: Hey, for your question an adding another character from AKB, I want SKEs Takayanagi Akane... In some action fanfics I've read with Churi, she fights hard... One Fic I've read, Churi had a fudging jet XD