Crossing the desert

The Barbarian's Cherry Blossom

"Eat it!" Rainoric ordered.

"I can't."Sakura objected.

"Eat it!"He continued to persist

"No please..."She tried to fight back.

"You want to die? Eat it!"He yelled inside her.

Sakura had earlier fought a large Manticore-like creature with the help of Rainoric who told her how to defeat the beast. It now lay dead with its insides opened up and its bloodied and raw meat exposed for consumption. She was pressured by him to skin the animal so that she can eat it and use its hide as a coat for the nightfall up ahead when the sun will come down. And speaking of the sun, if Sakura doesn't eat the Manticore meat and wear its pelt now, she will die of a combination of starvation and hypothermia.

"But it was only just..."Sakura tried to stuttered.

"Your no longer in Earth may I remind you Sakura. In here its survival of the fittest."Rainoric told her.

"Fine! Just, don't talk about this ever again."Sakura said clutching Rainoric's Seax.

It had been about 10 hours since they woke up somehow merged together in a beach after they fell of a bridge during a bandit attack. Sakura worried that her friends are most likely worried sick about her and Rain or much worse, assuming she died.

She has to eat the meat raw as there is no where in the desert that can she use to make a fire. Just miles of sand and the occassional dry grass and cacti. She gulped and sliced a piece of meat from the Manticore carcass and ate it, tearing the flesh with her canine teeth.

"Im gonna be sick..."Sakura complained.

"Ok, we keep moving now. Judging from how for are we from the mountains, I say, around 5 days we can get to a Vanoran Outpost for help. Let's go."Rainoric said.

 

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Walking...

 

Walking......

 

And more Walking......

 

The desert sun beating Sakura inside Rainoric's body made her feel the heat, her body began to shut down and she is no longer sweating. Being inside Rainoric is like placing a dried meat inside a microwave oven. Panting she knelt down as the sandy winds blew around her and him.

"Sakura, you need to get up! This is---"Rainoric was about to warn Sakura when suddenly an arrow shot punched through his body and pierced Sakura in the arm.

"Wha-what is that?"Sakura asked. Her world felt heavy and she planted her elbows on the sand began to crawl forward away from whoever is attack them.

"Sakura we need to go now!"Rainoric said, but every word he continued to talk felt slowed and pitched down.

 

"NYAM! NYAM! NYAM!"A loud voice said in the distance. Then her eyes went black.

 

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Sakura opened her eyes again, this getting knockec out and waking up to God knows where has made her get a migraine. She was laying down and the first thing she saw was a thatched roof from straws. She must be inside a hut and her captors placed her there. She stood up and she is also still inside Rainoric. But strangely enough. She wasn't bound by a chain or anything that can imprison her and Rainoric. She was sleeping in a rather comfortable sleeping mat complete with a cotton pillow.

"Sakura your awake. The Shaman was able to take off the poison in your body."Rainoric commented to Sakura.

"Where are we?"Sakura asked.

"Edanzia woman of the green world." A figure with Black Dust covered skin and he wore an steel mask that resembled a human face. His glowing black lit eyes gave him away as a Broken Lord.

"Shaman, thanks Godan you were migrating here today."Rainoric said.

"Yes, we have heard that you went missing in the river and we know we can't afforc you to be captured by the Tanukhids. And if you do not know who they are, they are Cultist sympathizers woman of the green world."the Shaman said.

"I heard you have someone from Earth, may I......Sakura?"A familiar voice came inside the hut. She had long flowing black hair and her white skin had a few coats of black paint. Her clothes were from animal leather and came in two pieces, the top only covering her s and a shortened skirt.

"Mayuyu? Is that you?"Sakura said.

"You know each other?" The shaman asked.

"Yes we do. We are both friends. We we worked in AKB48 together Aka."Mayu said to the Shaman. She turned back to Sakura/Rainoric and smiled. To Sakura's horror, when Mayu showed her smile, her teeth were shown to be sharpened like spear tips.

"Mayuyu? Your teeth? What happened to you?"Sakura asked.

"More like, why are you literally inside a Northern Broken Lord to begin with."She replied.

 

After an explanation of what happened to each other. Here's Mayu's story.

Mayuyu was sold as a slave to a debauched Aksyarrite merchant who is fond of ually abusing his slaves. She had to be constantly fondled in every inappropriate place a woman would normally not let anyone touch her in. She would be often forced to dance ily infront of the man and in some days infront of guests coming to his household. One day, Mayu had enough of her captors abuse and managed to murder her master and ran away to the desert crying.

She was saved from starvation from a group of migrating Edanzi where she now lives with to repay her debt to them by joining their tribe. At first, she was met with suspicious stares from the Endanzians but they eventually accepted her when time consumed her stay. She even sings and dance for them when they celebrate in the campfire every knight.

As for the sharpened teeth, its customary for everyone in the Edanzi to file their teeth to make their enemies think they are cannibals which would scare only the most crazed of their enemies away.

Sakura also told her story to Mayu, how she became Rainoric's slave and now friend. She also told about her new found powers which impressed Mayu and Aka.

"Aka, you live here right? I am looking for a mountain that looks like this."Sakura said. She drew a mountain in fine detail on the sand with her index finger.

"I....I know that mountain. There is an unspoilt Endless ruins there. Even my best men and other Shamans from other tribes cannot unlock it I am afraid."Aka said.

"That's because it is a White Dust temple. Or that's what Rowan told me."

"Bishop Rowan? The Bishop Rowan Dain? I thought he was dead."

"No he is very much still on the run Shaman. Tell me can you take us there?"Rainoric said.

"I cannot leave the tribe but I can send Mayu to take you there, she knows the way. Go north to the mountains and she will guide you to the entrance. Then you can comeback for some Matcha tea that Mayu gave me some."

 

"Yatta! I get to be with Sakuratan!"Mayu hugged Sakura.

 

 

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(Meanwhile in the Gimaelic Embassy in Aksyar)

Wulfgar was panicking and no amount of comfort from Yukirin calm him down. He was already walking back and forth clutching his head murmuring to himself.

"What do I do? Gewis will have me impale in Nonorite if he finds out that his son is missing!"Wulfgar panicked.

"Don't worry, ambassador Halfdan is doing his best to stall the messengers as long as he can."Yukirin assured.

"They will eventually find out Yuki. And when they do, pretty much everyone in this room is dead! Impaled on a pike, roasted in the box, fed to dogs, murder by a berserker. Or.....Bloodied Eagle'd."Wulfgar said.

"Hey guys, has anyone seen Churi?"Airin said while eating a fruit that one of the embassy servants gave to her.

"They are getting dinner from the bazaar right now with Osgar, Ybor and Belisarius. I hear it is Osgar-sans first time here and he is excited to see what they are selling tonight."Takamina said while taking care of Miyuki who is now experiencing morning sickness.

"Miyuki, I can feel that the child will be a very healthy one if you keep up eating good food."Vlado said.

"Thanks Vlado, I am thinking of a name though. Maybe a little mix of Vanoran and Japanese."Miyuki smiled caressing her stomach.

"Is Jurina supposed to come with you? I told you to keep on eye on her. She has been acting strange lately. She is not, her usual self....."Rena said.

"KYAAAA!!!!!"The screaming voice of Paruru interrupted everyone. It came from the next room where there beds are located. Everybody rushed into see what was the commotion about.

"Stay Back! I must return to the Sacred Realm..."It was Jurina, she was clutching a Knife on Paruru's throat. Jurina's eyes had gone pitch black. Which is a shocker as the Nonorite box was supposed to remove all of the Black Dust infecting her.

"Let her go Jurina!"Rena said conjuring her assassin bow on her hand.

"With pleasure.....Samhane.......sister!"Jurina spoke in a masculine demonic voice. She pushed Paruru away unharmed. Just as everyone is about to restrain her...

 

 

 

Jurina impaled the knife through and cut it open, effectively decapitating her head from her body...

"AAAHHH!!!!"Miyuki, Yukirin, Airin and Paruru all screamed. When the now headless Jurina knelt down on the floor....her blood oozing out in a siniter black color.

 

 

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Amalya
#1
Chapter 6: Hmm. So things are certainly unfolding at a quick pace here. It's a little bit tricky keeping track of things because the forces were jumping around on Earth, showing up in one place when they were apparently expected in another, and the defenses against the intruders seem pretty ineffective. I know they're space faring warriors but couldn't we get a little more detail beyond 'necklaces' that protect them. How exactly do these things protect them?

I do like how you've been explaining more and giving more detail as the story progresses, so that's definitely something, but I have noticed a relative habit of how your voice suddenly jumps in to mention how this will be important later or explains something in the now and it's jarring. You could have one of the characters explain things mid-story, or even use the non-dialogue space to add world details that wouldn't pull the reader out of the moment when they're reading.

I was also a little confused by Rainoric's reaction to Sakura because he, and his people/friends, seem to be treating slaves with remarkable manners. But who knows. Maybe that's just the way they treat beings so far below them. *shrug* I also would prefer if you actually did more showing instead of telling with your battle scenes as opposed to saying "I'll let you use your imagination here." It comes off as lazy writing. I can imagine plenty, but I still want guidelines when you're showing me your world and what's happening in it. Do you know what I mean?

In this chapter, I was also curious when Sakura hit her head? I didn't catch that so I was surprised when she was suddenly waking up from a week long coma. :S But things are slowly starting to come together and while I'm not sure what the larger, central conflict of the world is going to be just yet, you seem to have tension aplenty between the people as a warrior race, if nothing else.
Amalya
#2
Chapter 3: Okay. So I'm just starting to read this and while I probably won't comment on every chapter, I do intend to pause every so often. I think the image in the character bio page is broken since I can't see the picture at all. I'm personally not a huge fan of character bios in the beginning of the story myself but in this case, I do think it's helpful information since most of the characters are almost completely new (goodness knows I've never heard of most of them haha).

For this chapter, I have at least begun to get an idea of what's going on in the story, though I find myself wishing for more description. What do these people look like? What sorts of mannerisms do they have, other than surprising knockouts when someone is apparently talking too long? Are they all humanoid? Do any of them talk with accents? These kinds of things. I did appreciate the explanations at the bottom of the chapter, though I also think you might have been able to work them into the story. While I also appreciate you have linked the information available for us to read up on the Endless game series, it's also something I tend to think you may want to work on incorporating more yourself. Then again, I don't know if you were expecting people to be familiar with the Endless game series if they found your story, so that could just be me at the moment.

I would say be careful with some of your spellings since I noticed a few mistakes here and there, but overall, things are easy enough to understand. I'm curious to see how the rest of the world/story unfolds with that tag you've added at the end of this update in regards to world changing consequences. heh We shall see.
UltimateLockSmith
#3
Chapter 37: Wow... Annya became a sacrifice... Rena's well... both her and Jurina in one go.... ....
fenrirabyss
#4
Chapter 36: OMG awesome update 10/10 OMG Jurina what are you doing!?!?!?!
fenrirabyss
#5
Chapter 34: Why?....I dont know what to do now......T^T
RukaKikuchi
#6
Chapter 34: *speechless* *tears flowing* Why...? T^T
RukaKikuchi
#7
Chapter 33: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! TT_____TT
RukaKikuchi
#8
Chapter 32: WOAH! This is a new kind of body swap... uh, if you can count it that. XD
Update soon! *bows*
RukaKikuchi
#9
Chapter 24: O_________O Holy freaking crap......
UltimateLockSmith
#10
Chapter 8: Hey, for your question an adding another character from AKB, I want SKEs Takayanagi Akane... In some action fanfics I've read with Churi, she fights hard... One Fic I've read, Churi had a fudging jet XD