Jihoon follows him. His feet move involuntarily, they run towards him while he yells at the other boy to wait for him, and Soonyoung, who looks so weak and fragile and pissed off at the same time, does. The blond waits for him in silence, he stares at the sand between his feet and only slightly looks up when Jihoon is in front of him.

Jihoon doesn't know why it feels strange, wrong almost, to see Soonyoung in such a bad state.

The smaller boy doesn't say anything when Soonyoung raises his eyebrows, the blond tucks his hands on his pockets and waits for something - and Soonyoung, Jihoon learns, is always waiting for something.

''You left too quickly,'' Jihoon says, he sheepishly smiles and bites his lower lip when he realizes Soonyoung wouldn't be returning the same. 

Instead, the boy gives him that intense stare he hates; his head is tilted and his frown makes Jihoon know he's questioning him. 

Jihoon keeps his smile.

''Should we sit?'' He asks. Soonyoung, who's still staring at him, nods just slightly and sits facing the sea, and Jihoon takes a seat besides him.

They remain in silence for a while; Jihoon knows Soonyoung is working out his problems in his head, and though he knew the boy needed to talk to somebody, he also knew he needed some time to think about things by himself; so he gives him that time: Jihoon takes the opportunity to stare at the other boy in curiosity while it happens: stares at his furrowed eyebrows and that unconciously-formed pout in his lips, his blond hair is messy from the wind and from all the times he's ran his hands through it, and he sometimes takes a look at Jihoon, sighs and spaces out again.

Jihoon is curious about what is going on through his head. 

The sun is going down by the time Soonyoung decides to turn his head at Jihoon and smile just slightly, and Jihoon smiles back at him and hopes the other knows he's there for him if he needed him.

Soonyoung decides to break the silence.
''I'm sorry.''

Jihoon looks up from the ground, turns his head to look at the boy - at those eyes he had been avoiding for a while and frowns.

''It wasn't your fault,'' The boy complains, he looks around the beach and finds Mingyu laying down on the sand, eyes lost on the sky and a beer on his left hand, Jihoon wonders if he is sorry.

Soonyoung raises his eyebrows, gives him a smile, ''Oh, I know that,'' The boy shrugs, ''But I promised you you'd have a great time, and... I really didn't want you to see me like that.'' He ends the sentence avoiding the other's gaze and Jihoon smiles this time.

''I am having a good time, Soonyoung,'' He gives Soonyoung's shoulder a playful nudge and sighs, ''And I liked seeing you like that, really.'' He adds when the blond gives him a skeptical look.

''You looked... genuine,'' He confesses and looks up at the darkening sky, ''I mean it. And... it's not like you haven't looked like that before,'' That's a lie, ''But you weren't smiling, or laughing or...'' He keeps silent for a moment, ''Or trying to make anybody else laugh.''

''I liked it, Soonyoung - really. I like that you care about Wonwoo that much; about Mingyu too.''

Soonyoung is smiling at him when Jihoon looks down at him again, and Jihoon knows his words are not a lie anymore, but he pretends instead.

''You looked real; raw...'' He thinks, sees Soonyoung raise his eyebrows and smiles.

''... Like sushi?'' Soonyoung bites his lips before giving Jihoon the biggest smile he had ever seen from the blond; and even though Jihoon had seen the boy's eyes squinted before, the gums and the teeth... Jihoon is unable to keep a straight face on his face and smile back.

Kwon Soonyoung... had a really pretty smile.

''Jihoon...'' 

Soonyoung doesn't keep talking, so Jihoon frowns; the blond shuts his mouth and sighs instead, he looks down at his feet, still and buried in sand and smiles sheepishly.

''This is just... so cliché.'' He chuckles.

Jihoon, confused as to what Soonyoung means, raises his eyebrows; he opens his mouth to speak, to question him, but Soonyoung talks first.

''I am at the beach with a boy I barely know but I like... it.'' He stops again, ''Ah... what I am trying to say is... Lee Jihoon what are you doing to me?'' He smiles again, wider this time.

The smaller boy doesn't know what to say, so he stays quiet and speechless for a while, and Soonyoung takes the opportunity to keep talking.

''I don't know anything about you,'' He mumbles, ''But still.. I am here and...''

''Lee Jihoon I want to get to know you.''

Cliché indeed. Jihoon lifts his face to look at Soonyoung; he wonders if that's all the blond had to say. The pink-haired boy stares at his mouth, now closed and in a straight line, he stares at his small nose and his furrowed eyebrows - and slowly ends up at his eyes; at his intense glare, asking for a response; pleading almost, and he frowns.

Soonyoung I can't give you the things you want.

Jihoon wants to stop staring - wants Soonyoung to stop staring at him,  and begs his heart not to jump out of his chest at that moment.

He then remembers Seungkwan - he remembers Seokmin and Seungcheol too, he wonders if that's what they felt when they first fell in love with Kwon Soonyoung. He wonders if they had the sweaty palms and the shaky legs; wonders if Seungkwan ever stuttered while talking to him, if Seokmin ever got flustered to the point he couldn't talk. Jihoon wonders if Seungcheol ever felt sorry for him.

Jihoon then remembers the cheating, the heartbreak - Seungkwan crying at his door frame and pretending to be perfectly okay afterwards; thinks of the ache they probably still felt in their chests.

What Soonyoung was saying... they were lies.

Jihoon sighs and starts playing with the sand with his hands: smiling softly as the little grains of sand slipped through his slim fingers.

''But you do know me,'' He mutters; and, unable to keep the intense glare, looks down at his bare knees as he waits for Soonyoung to talk again.

Jihoon can tell the moment Soonyoung runs a hand through his hair without even looking, so he bites his lip to prevent talking again - saying something he definitely didn't mean.

He does, however, playfully give him another nudge against his shoulder when Soonyoung doesn't answer, smiling just slightly when Soonyoung does too.

Jihoon ends up grinning ear to ear too - looking around the beach and noticing how the sun was leaving the sky already.

''Jihoon,'' Someone calls behind them, they clear their throats and wait standing still. Both Jihoon and Soonyoung turn their heads at the same time.

Jun and Wonwoo stand straight behind them. Jun is the one who talks, sighs and holds Wonwoo's hand tightly, Jihoon discreetly tries to find Mingyu at the beach with no success.

''It's getting a little bit late, don't you think so?'' The brunette asks, he tries to give Jihoon a friendly smile but fails miserably; and Jihoon knows it isn't his fault.

The bright kid from before, Jihoon realizes however, has faded away.

''We're thinking about eating dinner and then dropping you guys off in your home, what do you think?'' 

Jihoon opens his mouth to talk, raises his eyebrows and, feeling a little disappointed for leaving so early, nods his head slowly.

Soonyoung has other plans, though.

The blond raises a finger and tentatively takes a look at the boy at his side, he gives him a smile smile and turns his head at Jun's direction, ''Actually... if you don't mind... I was thinking about doing it myself...''

Jihoon stares at the blond surprised, and then looks at Jun - who is about to protest, but a hand on his shoulder stops him. 

Wonwoo, who hadn't talked at all, clears his throat, ''That's a great idea, actually.'' He says, a soft smile drawn on his face, ''If Jihoon wants, of course.''

''Yeah,'' Jihoon says, almost too quickly, ''I mean, s'okay, I guess.'' The boy shrugs, and Wonwoo smiles at him wider.

''But... where is Joshua?'' Jihoon asks the boys standing up, who immediately frown in confusion.

Jun looks around with eyes squinted, but his shoulders drop when he doesn't find anything.

''We thought he was with you...'' He mutters, ''But we'll search for him, I guess.''

Jihoon, worried and confused and feeling guilty all at the same time, nods. Smiling tightly and waving his right hand when Wonwoo and Jun announce they'd be leaving.

Soonyoung, who has remained quiet for a long time, sighs, ''So... do you want to leave already?''

The pink-haired boy only nods eagerly, takes Soonyoung's hand to stand up and doesn't let it go until they arrive to the blond's car.

❀ ❀ ❀

Soonyoung parks the car slowly, he takes his time to unbuckle his own seatbelt and smiles at Jihoon, they both know he doesn't want the night to be over.

And Jihoon, with teary eyes from laughing so hard, and his hands on his stomach and hands curled in a fist, wonders if he feels the same way.

The boy ends up unbuckling his seatbelt too, he opens the door of the car lazily and both of them walk slowly towards Jihoon's door frame. The silence surrounding them, Jihoon realizes,is not uncomfortable anymore.

The only sounds surrounding them are of the cars moving behind them in the street, the light is dim and Soonyoung's features are barely recognizable for Jihoon, but there, under the few stars and satellites that were left in Seoul's sky, Jihoon feels something else than pity or anger for Soonyoung.

He just doesn't know what it is.

He only knows the sweaty palms and the shaky hands and the blush on his cheeks are back as he remembers Seungkwan's voice ordering him to kiss the boy at the end of the day. 

Jihoon bites his lower lip. Way. Too. Hard. He smiles when he realizes they are at his doorframe and Soonyoung is looking at him expectantly, but he doesn't know what to say.

Soonyoung speaks first.

''See you later?'' Soonyoung raises his eyebrows and smiles sheepishly, and Jihoon blinks, once, twice... before nodding just slightly.

The blond keeps the smile on his face, and Jihoon keeps the blank stare.

Jihoon only frowns when he feels soft lips on his left cheek, and only turns red when Soonyoung starts walking away from him.

He doesn't even say goodbye.

Hey guys! As always, I thank you for your lovely comments, subscriptions, recommendations and votes up, I also thank you very much for the compliments on the new poster! The sudden wave of subscribers make me wonder... where did you all find my story? Probably in this site... eh?

... In a more serious note, I was wondering whether or not I should post the chapter right now, but I hope this serves as a 10-minute-distraction from what's happening to our world; to what's not ceasing to exist. Philando Castile and Alton Sterling didn't deserve to die at gunpoint; not because of their past, not because of their skin color. Nobody has the right to decide when is the end of someone's life. Philando Castile was 32, had a life ahead of him, a daughter, and no criminal record. Alton Sterling was the father of 5 children and was also a young (37) black man... He is also the 558th person to be killed by cops in 2016. Please remember their names, remember their stories. Remember their lives and the lives of the other 100+ black people that have been killed by the police in only 6 months.

I keep the Sterling family in my thoughts, as I keep Lavish Reynolds and her 4 year old baby girl in my heart, hoping to find out where they are, and to know they are safe and have been given medical help.

This. Has. To. Stop.

To all my black readers and those of color: you are beautiful and your words matter, your life matters, let's raise our voice against this issue. 

#BlackLivesMatter.