Beware! longass chapter ahead:/

(36 months)

The two children woke up earlier than usual, because they were very excited. Their parents too, were up early. It was the 3^rd of July 2015, Jiyoung and Ji-Ohn’s third birthday.

Jihyo was preparing their breakfast, as usual. Gary was in the living room with the two children.

“Jiyoung ah, Ji-ohn ah, do you know what day is it today?”

“Our birthday,” they squealed happily.

“Keulae, do you know how old are you now?”

“Three years old,” Jiyoung answered. Ji-ohn raised her hands up in delight, putting up three fingers.

“Clever,” Gary praised, ruffling their hair. “Later, harabeoji, halmoni, Sungkyung imo and Sungmin samchon will come, so you have to behave okay?”

The children nodded.

Gary smiled, caressing his children’s faces. As they celebrate their 3^rd birthday, he and Jihyo also celebrate their 3^rd year of parenthood. If the children had grown a lot these three years, they too, grew as parents. He watched the kids play for a while, before going into the kitchen to help her.

After breakfast, Jihyo bathed and dressed the children up. Jiyoung wore a chequered, long-sleeved shirt and a pair of jeans, while Ji-ohn wore a simple, white dress.

Gary came in after washing the dishes.

“Omo, who is this little angel in my bedroom,” he said in his baby voice as he carried Ji-ohn up. She giggled in her father’s arms. “And look at this handsome little prince, where are you going dressed so nicely?” he said, carrying Jiyoung up as well.

He smiled shyly, putting his hands around his father’s neck.

Gary carried him out to the living room, while he and Jihyo got changed. Then, they left the house to go the mall where they were having lunch.

They reached very early, so they went around the mall first. There was a playground for the children so they let the children play there first. Then, they went window-shopping until it was time for lunch.

They had lunch at a buffet style restaurant, serving mostly western food because it was what the children liked. They reached before Jihyo’s parents and siblings arrived. Gary asked for two high chairs for the kids.

“What do you want to eat later?” Jihyo asked them as she tied their baby bibs for them.

They listed down the options excitedly, starting to salivate at the thought of the food.

Before long, Jihyo’s parents arrived with her siblings and they started to get their food. Gary brought Jiyoung to choose the food that he wanted, while Jihyo stayed with Ji-ohn at the table.

“Pizza, appa!” Jiyoung said, pointing up the table of food.

“Arrasso arraso,” Gary told him, carrying him up to let him take the food himself. “What else?”

Jiyoung glanced over the table. “Spaghetti,” he said, and Gary carried him over, teaching him how to use the tongs to get the spaghetti.

“Fish and chips,” he said. “And prawns!”

“Are you sure you can finish so much!” Gary laughed at the amount of food Jiyoung had in his plate. He had to help the boy carry the plate because the food was threatening to spill over anytime.

After they went back to their seats, Jihyo left to get the food. While waiting for Jihyo, Jiyoung reached out to take a piece of pizza, and was caught red-handed by Gary.

“Jiyoung, did you forget what I told you?” he said. “Eomma is not back yet, so can you eat first?”

“Gary-ah, it’s okay. It’s their birthday, don’t be so harsh on them,” Jihyo’s father said.

“Abeonim, they shouldn’t forget their manners just because it’s their birthday,” he said, briefly glancing at him before looking at Jiyoung again.

Jiyoung looked at his father, then at his grandfather, then at his pizza.

“Ne… then can I just hold it?” he asked softly.

“Yes, you may just hold it,” he said. “Drink some water first, if you are hungry,” he said, as he poured the water for him. Jiyoung held the pizza in his right hand, while he drank with his left hand.

The atmosphere at the table was tense, and Jihyo immediately noticed something amiss when she return.

What happened? She thought to Gary. She then looked at Jiyoung’s upset face. Don’t tell me you scolded them? Not on their birthday, oppa… she thought disapprovingly. Seeing them Jihyo is back, Jiyoung whined for her. Jihyo reached out to caress his cheeks.

Gary sighed and didn’t say anything.

“Shall we start?” Jihyo asked, hoping to ease the tension.

“Jal meogget subnida,” everyone said, as they began to eat.

Jiyoung glanced at Gary, before eating his pizza.

A while later, Jiyoung mentioned that he wanted to go to the toilet. Gary wiped his hands and turned to help him out, but the boy struggled, pushing his hands away.

“Eomma, bring me,” he said. Jihyo looked at Gary, who shrugged and pretended that it was nothing. But behind his calm expression, Jihyo could feel the hurt he felt from Jiyoung words.

“Arrasso,” she said, moving over to help him out. Gary stood up from his seat, so Jihyo could carry him out easier.

When they were out of the restaurant, Jihyo asked Jiyoung.

“Jiyoung-ah, are you upset with appa?”

Jiyoung looked ahead and refused to answer.

Jihyo bent down beside him, so she was at his eye-level. He looked down.

“Young-ah, eomma is talking to you, so what must you do?”

He looked up at her, his eyes turning red.

“Why, why?” Jihyo asked gently, caressing his cheeks.

“Appa is angry with me, I don’t want him to bring me.”

“Appa is not angry with you honey, what makes you say that?” she asked.

“He didn’t let me eat the pizza… I was hungry but he didn’t let me eat,” he confessed, tearing up.

Jihyo pulled the boy into a hug, petting his back to comfort him. That caused the boy to break down,

“I see…” she said, the pieces of puzzles falling into place. “But didn’t appa and eomma teach you that you can’t eat until everyone is here?”

Jiyoung nodded, sobbing into her shoulders.

“Now Jiyoungie is 3 years old. A big boy now, aren’t you?” she asked, pulling away from him and wiping his tears for him.

He nodded.

“So, since you are a big boy, you must remember your table manners, right?”

He nodded again.

“Appa wasn’t mad at you, he was teaching you… Don’t you know that appa loves you a lot? He wouldn’t be mad at you, but you made him sad when you pushed him away, you know.”

He pouted. “I know, and I love appa too. But I don’t want him to bring me because I’m sad when appa is mad at me,” he said in a small voice.

“No, Youngie, he wasn’t mad. He was just teaching you,” she repeated again.

“Really?”

Jihyo nodded, smiling at the boy to encourage him.

The boy relaxed his tensed up shoulders. Jihyo brought him to the toilet. On their way back, before entering the restaurant, he asked her again.

“Was appa really upset? I don’t want to make him sad,” he said.

“Just a tiny weeny bit,” she assured him. “He’ll be fine if you apologize.”

He nodded. As they entered the restaurant, he asked Jihyo to get him a cup of apple juice. With the juice in hand, he approached Gary from behind and tiptoed to put the cup on the table.

“Appa,” he said softly. Gary carried him up to his seat. “What’s this,” he asked as he took the cup of juice, putting it on his high chair table.

“It’s for you. Sagwa juice,” he said, giggling.

“Ah, you want to apologize (apologize = sagwa) to me? Who thought you this?” he said, smiling like a fool.

Instead of answering, he bend over to kiss his father instead. “Saranghaeyo.”

Their birthday lunch ended well. They had a chocolate birthday cake and after that, the grandparents and aunt and uncle gave the children their presents.

After that, they bade their goodbyes to each other.

When they were home, Jihyo bathed them and put them to sleep, since it’s their naptime already. Gary left for office, saying that he had some work to clear and promised to come home for dinner.

At night, close to 7pm, he returned with a big box in his arms.

The kids ran over to him to greet him.

He helped them open the box, which had a rocking horse inside.

“Iggeo mwoya?” Ji-ohn asked, letting her fingers trace over the horse.

“Iggeo-neun,” Gary answered, as he carried her up the horse. “Mal iya.” He then rocked her gently back and forth. “Jaemisseo?” he asked at her daughter’s giggles. She nodded.

“Now you’re too big to ride on Daeyang, so you ride on this ok?” he laughed, petting her daughter’s head. “Share with oppa, understand?”

She nodded, thoroughly enjoying herself.

After dinner, Gary and Jihyo decided to ask the children to write cards to each other.

Gary brought Jiyoung into the playroom, while Jihyo stayed with Ji-ohn in the living room.

“What do you want to write to Ji-ohn?”

“Uhhh… saengil chukha habnida!” Jiyoung replied. Gary held his hands and guided him to write the words.

“Do you want to draw something too?”

He nodded and coloured the background randomly. He also drew some circles on the paper.

“What are these?” Gary asked, pointing to the circles.

“This is appa, then this is eomma,” he said, pointing to a blue and purple circle that are close to each other. “This is Jiyoung and Ji-ohnnie,” he continued, pointing to two smaller yellow circles not far away from the blue and purple ones. Right beside the two yellow circles, there was an elongated brown shape, representing Daeyang. And in a corner further away, he drew 4 more circles, representing his grandparents and aunt and uncle. And at another spot, there was a cluster of circles, which he claims to be the running man casts and their children.

“And they are all saying happy birthday to us and we are all very happy,” he said.

Gary laughed at his son’s innocence.

Meanwhile, at the living room, Ji-ohn was dictating what she wanted to be written for Jiyoung.

“Uh… Oppa, saengil-chukha habnida. Gomawo, keulaego… uh…. Saranghaeyo.”

When they were both done, Jihyo asked Gary to bring Jiyoung out of the room. They explained the cards to each other and hugged each other. Then they opened the rest of their presents. Jihyo’s parents got them a set of matching shirts, while Sungkyung and Sungmin got them a tiny backpack in the shape of a turtle.

Gary went into the room and gave Jihyo a small package.

“It’s not your birthday, but…” he said shyly.

“What’s this?”

“To celebrate us surviving being parents for three years,” he smiled.

Jihyo opened the package and it was a book. On the cover, it was a picture of four of them, recently taken during a filming. The title read, “Our Journey as a Family.”

She flipped over the first page. It was like a diary entree, with a medical report stuck at the bottom.

“23^th December 2011. It was just before Chirstmas. We were supposed to shop for Christmas presents, but in the car you felt nauseous and vomited, so I rushed you to the hospital. It was there where we received the greatest Christmas gift ever; we found out that you were 6 weeks pregnant. I… it was the day our parenthood began. I’m so grateful to you, my dearest Jihyo, for bearing all the pain to give me the joy of being a father.”

The next page, was a photo of her ultrasound.

“24^th January 2012. This isn’t your first ultrasound, but it was the first we could see the faces of our babies so clearly. It was also when we found out that you were expecting twins. Honestly, I was afraid that we wouldn’t be able to handle two children at once. But the shine in your eyes told me how excited you were, that it made me forget my nervousness. I remember right after the visit to the gynae, you insisted on shopping for the babies’ clothes. You said that we should get a boy-girl set, but I said we should wait until we know their gender. But you said it was a boy-girl twin, and up till now I don’t know how you knew.”

“14^th February. We were celebrating Valentine’s day. You fainted at home when you were cooking halfway, remember? Again, we rushed to the hospital. Thankfully, the foetuses were fine, but… I but the doctor said that carrying twins was putting too much pressure on your heart. He suggested that you let one of them go. I don’t know how he even managed to put that kind horrible of thought into words. Although I was furious, I was also concerned about you. But you insisted that you’d be fine, and promised that you would take better care of yourself. After that incident, your mom came over to stay with us to look after you.”

“2^nd March. It was the third time you fainted. Your dizzy spells were getting more and more frequent. We sent you to the hospital again, and the gynae said that your blood pressure was too high. Once again, he suggested that you let one child go. This time, after looking at how you suffered, I agreed with him. Even your parents and your siblings encouraged you to do so. But you still insisted no. We fought badly that day, remember?”

Jihyo teared up reading that page. She remembered, of course she did.

“We can always have another child later, honey. Your health is most important now,” Gary said to her gently.

“You aren’t carrying the baby, you don’t understand how I feel,” she retorted, pushing him away.

“Please,” he pleaded, “I don’t want anything untoward to happen to you.”

“Please,” she pleaded back. “I don’t want to give up either of them.”

“Don’t you understand? Your decision will make everyone worried for you. Please don’t be so selfish!” he yelled back.

Her eyes were filled with hot, angry tears. “You’re calling me selfish?! It’s your child I’m carrying, your flesh and blood!”

“I… I didn’t mean it… I just…” he stammered, not realising what he had just said.

“Just get out,” she said, her voice laced with hostility.

“Jihyo…”

“Leave me alone!” she yelled.

Unable to do when she ordered, Gary hugged her and kissed her neck. Her tears flowed down uncontrollably, so did his.

“If I could do anything to relief your pain, I would. I’m sorry… I’m sorry I can’t do anything Jihyo. But I really don’t want anything to happen to you. I wouldn’t be able to live if….” He left his sentence unfinished, sobbing into her shoulders.

Jihyo rested her head on his shoulders. He pulled away, looking straight into her eyes.

“Please, listen to me for just this time? Jihyo please…”

Unable to argue with him, she relented, agreeing to abort one of them.

There was another ultrasound photo.

“8^th March. It would have been the last ultrasound photo we would have if you didn’t change your mind the last minute. We were in the operation theatre, ready for the abortion. They had to do an ultrasound. As if the kids knew that one of them had to go, they were holding onto each other tightly. You teared up as you pointed it out to me. They were about to begin the operation when you suddenly sat up, crying, saying that you don’t want to proceed anymore. Everyone looked at you in shock, unsure of what’s going through your mind. You grabbed my shoulders and looked into my eyes, firmly saying that you want to keep both children. I knew you meant it when I saw the determination in your eyes. I’m so thankful that you changed your mind. I can’t imagine how guilty we would be if we kept only one of them. I can’t imagine how life would be like if… I’m so grateful… yet so sorry for putting you through all these.”

A photo of a temple.

“7^th May. We went to see the fortune teller to decide the names for the kids. I wanted their name to have “Ji”, since they are already bearing my family name, they should have a part of your name too. You said I was silly, but agreed anyway. There were a few options, but eventually you picked Young and Ohn. It seems to fit them well. You and your lucky hands. Hahaha.

A photo of Gary, Jihyo, Eunhye and Jong kook.

“24 May. Jong Kookie hyung and Eun Hye’s wedding! Finally… we all have been waiting for that for ages, right? By then you were 7 months pregnant. We wanted to stay for the entire wedding, but you were tired. We felt bad to leave halfway, but even hyung told us to. Dong Hoon so helpfully agreed to help us eat our share of our dinner. Eventually we only watched them exchange their vows. He sang Today More Than Yesterday at his wedding. It was such an apt song, as if he wrote it just for her. (Maybe he did). It was so touching that not only the Eun Hye cried. Even you cried.

 “14 June. You were admitted into the hospital for high blood pressure. You stayed there for almost a week. The doctors decided to push forward the due date to 3^rd July. They would be only 34 weeks then, but they said it was the best solution.”

A photo of two newborns.

“3^rd July. It was a roller coaster of emotions for both of us. The operation started at 12. It was a C-Section. I asked if you were afraid but you said no, because I was a Healer and I could heal you. I said I was afraid and you chided me. We entered the theatre at 11.30am. You had to undergo anaesthesia. When you saw the equipment you grabbed my hand nervously, saying that you were afraid. I told you, don’t be, I’m here with you. But you said I was even more afraid than you and giggled nervously. They gave you the mask and you soon fell into a deep sleep. At 12.56pm, Jiyoung was carried out from your womb. Wrinkly-skinned and bloody, but beautiful. At 1.03pm, Ji-ohn too. She was slightly tinier that Jiyoung, but so much louder. Her cries rang through the entire theatre.

“24^th July. Their 21-day celebration. It was a quiet event, so no photos were taken. You were still quite weak then. Your parents and siblings came over, and you asked me to invite Mdm Park. She was so touched she teared up carrying the kids.

A photo of their grandparents carrying the children.

“11^th October. Their 100^th day celebration! We invited the running man casts. Jong Kook hyung tried carrying them, but they cried like mad. Jae Suk laughed that it was because his muscles squashed the children. Only Jae Suk could carry Ji-ohn without making her cry. We joked around and said that it was because he wanted a daughter so badly. He revealed to us that hyungsu-nim was 3 months pregnant and he hoped that it was a girl. Jiyoung didn’t even allow anyone else to carry him except you. “

A photo of the family in Hanbok.

“10^th February 2013. Our first Seollal as a family of 4. Jiyoung kept crying at your parent’s place, so we didn’t really enjoy much. It was tiring as I looked back, but memorable nonetheless. We had to guess what they want every time they cry… but now, look how well they speak! Especially Ji-ohn!”

“25^th February. The day we found out that Ji-ohnie was blind. You kept crying and apologizing to her, saying that it was your fault…”

Jihyo teared up again at this page.

The doctor diagnosed that Ji-ohn was blind. They had some suspicions before, but they always thought it was because she was slower at responding. Unlike her brother, she doesn’t smile until her name is called; she doesn’t imitate Jihyo or Gary’s faces when they play with her. But they never thought that she was blind.

When they went home, after putting the children to sleep after their medical check-up, Jihyo started to cry.

“I’m so sorry…” she cried, caressing her daughter’s cheeks. “I’m so sorry…”

Gary heard her cries and came in. “It’s not your fault honey… no one would blame you…”

“She’ll never be able to see the colours or run around freely or play like a normal child. She wouldn’t be able to go to school normally. Why can’t I be the blind one instead of her? I’m a healer but I can’t even heal my own daughter,” she said sobbing into his shoulders.

“Healers can only heal physical injuries. You know that well. She can’t see but at least she can hear, feel, taste… at least she has us as her parents… we may not be the best parents, but we’ll definitely do our best and love her with all our hearts, right? Jiyoung too.”

Gary pulled her away and wiped her tears. “Listen to me honey, do you know why we close our eyes when we kiss, pray, and dream? Because, the most beautiful things in life are not seen by the eyes, but felt by the heart. It doesn’t matter if she can’t see with her eyes, as long as she has an open heart.”

A photo of the babies in swimming suits

“10^th June. The children recently started crawling. We brought them to the pool for the first time. Ji-ohn kept crying at the start, but eventually she got the hang of in. Jiyoung seemed to enjoy it from the start.”

A photo of the kids in Hanbok.

“3^rd July. Their first birthday! You woke up really early that day to prepare for the feast. Your mother and sister came to help too. Jiyoung and Ji-ohn was whiny all morning because you weren’t around. The three men aka your brother, your father and I, suffered to entertain them. At lunch time you were finally free. The guests started streaming in. Jae Suk hyung originally wanted to be our emcee, but his wife was in hospital, the baby almost due, so you told him not to. He sent us a video greeting though. Eventually, Jong Kook helped us with the emceeing. Although slightly awkward, but it ran smoothly. Jiyoung picked up the book for toljabee, but Ji-ohn seemed to be confused about what to do and threw everything she picked. “

A photo of Jiyoung standing up. And another with Ji-ohn standing up.

“26^th July. Jiyoung first stood up today. I was unable to witness it because I was at work, but thankfully you videoed it down. Ji-ohn only stood up in mid-August, but she spoke first! Jiyoung didn’t say his first word till end of August.”

A photo of the kids at Gary’s parents’ grave.

“11^th September. It was Chuseok and we brought the kids to visit my parents for the first time. I cried when I introduced them to my parents. It’s such a pity that they couldn’t witness me becoming a parent myself too. Jiyoung saw me cry and hugged me, even though he didn’t get what was going on. Such a sweet boy. Must have been my genes. Haha.”

A photo of the children and Daeyang.

“22 October. Daeyang arrived on that day! Ji-ohn was afraid of him, but Jiyoung seemed to like him a lot. Thank you for allowing me to get Daeyang, even though it meant more work for you. It was a good reunion. I think he remembers you. It seems to be fate, isn’t it? If I didn’t run away to Canada then, I wouldn’t have raised him. If I hadn’t raised him, I probably won’t have met your friendly bacon lady friend (I forgot her name), and we wouldn’t have met again. And all of these wouldn’t have happened… “

A photo of the children in winter clothing.

“15 November. It was winter! We took them out to play with the snow. Look at their red noses!”

A photo of sunrise.

“1^st January 2014. We’re at your hometown to watch the sunrise. Pretty sight, isn’t it? A brand new year. Do you remember our New Year wish? It was to for all of us to be healthy, and for the running man members to have more frequent meet ups. And now, we’re meeting every other weekend. Even though your wish was fulfilled a year later, at least it came true. The children are now speaking more and more.”

A photo of the children bowing.

“31^st January. It’s Seollal again, another year have past, how fast… only as I write this then I realise how quickly the children are growing. The previous year they were still infants, crying through the entire Seollal. But look at them now! They are bowing! With a lot of help but at least they did it. We took videos and sent to our family and friends. Oh I forgot about Jae Suk’s daughter’s 100-day celebration! It was so fast… I could still remember our own children’s 100 days and now it’s his.”

A photo of cherry blossons.

“26^th March. It’s spring! We’re out to see the cherry blossoms with your parents. Ji-ohn and Jiyoung plucked off a flower to give it to you! I remembered you teared. It was so sweet, even I was jealous.”

A photo of shaved ice.

“15^th June. Summer is here. We went to the pool again, but this time both children seemed to hate it and cried not stop. To appease them and to cool off the summer heat, we went to have some shaved ice. I don’t think they appreciate cold stuff yet, though. We were the only ones enjoying.”

A photo of Jiyoung, Ji-ohn and Dream.

“5^th July. We had a combined party with Dream, since their birthdays were only 6 days apart. Dream spoke so well, offering us the cake and everything and we wondered how it would be for our children to be 3. Now they are already 3 years old!”

A photo of white chrysanthemums.

“27 August. It was the death anniversary of my parents and my brother. We went back to their grave. Jiyoung and Ji-ohn put flowers for them. They asked why don’t my parents speak and move like yours. I cried. You smiled and explain to them that my parents are in the skies, along with the stars. Ji-ohn said that I must missed them a lot, because she misses me when I go to work. I… and you hugged me and they did too.”

As she read through the book, she cried and laughed at some pages. Gary watched her, smiling and feeling proud of himself. It took him days to complete it, to search for the photos and the exact date, and to compile everything into the book.

She finally reached the last page.

“3^rd July 2015. My hands are breaking from writing so much. As I look back on the past three years, I realised so much have changed. Time really flies so fast, the children are all grown up now. But although time flies, we’re the pilot. I hope to create more beautiful memories with the children and you too. It’s funny now neither of your birthdays nor mine were significant to make it into this book. But maybe once we become a parent, our birthdays are nothing but another day.

Thank you for making the past three years such a beautiful one; thank you for sacrificing so much for the family. It is because of you that our children grow up so well. Yeobo, I love you.”

hope i didnt bore you XD double update this weekend, (and it's a super long one at that) to make up for no update next week. hope it placates you guys, and keep the comments coming!