Odd, individual items, when combined in the right proportions, can come together to create something amazing. Spices when you cook. Medicines or even explosives. Music, too, of course. Add just the right voice to a group or just the right harmony and a song will soar. That's how I've always felt about us when we were together… the right ingredients in just the right combination.

Even when you do your best to separate the pieces, you can't.

Or that's what I'm telling myself.

Got to call Chunnie before he left for his training camp. I'd have preferred to talk to him in person, but there was no chance of that. He wasn't mad at me for not being there. He had family and friends around him on his last evening. I kept hearing Junsu's laugh in the background. Not quite as bright as usual - or maybe that was just the phone - and I kept it together until we hung up. At least I hope I did.

I didn't want to worry Yoochun, today of all days. He needs to focus.

But who's going to be there for Junsu the night before he leaves? They were both there for me, back in March. Junsu was with Yoochun last night. Both of us will be tied up with our duties when Junsu enlists unless we are very, very lucky. We should have enlisted together, all on the same day…