Being thirty.

It feels like being nineteen all over again. Like packing up and moving to a new country to chase a dream, never mind how out of place you felt. Like not knowing the rules or even the right words to ask for an explanation. Like getting by on water, fresh air and two hours of sleep in every thirty because we're promoting everywhere we can and we're all on diets. Like falling asleep in the middle of a photo shoot. Like…

Yeah.

Chunnie always said that homesickness hits you out of the blue. That all it needs is a tiny trigger. And I guess he was right.

I forgot to salute.

Then I automatically tried to apologise.

And when the yelling started I was right back in Japan. Standing in the freezing cold at 4am, being glared at by a photographer and unable to comprehend the instructions he was giving.

One of my lowest low points, that. But it got better after.

It always did.