Now I know exactly how to screw up! Not one of my better ideas, I'm convinced. And it's definitely keeping me awake. I've been tossing and turning for the last couple of hours and sleep's still as far away as it ever was.

The guys tell me it's due to having had a quiet weekend, and that—after a while—I'll learn to sleep whenever and wherever. But then, they told me a bunch of stuff today. And I learned to sleep standing up a very long time ago.

So, no. This one's entirely due to my own stupidity. It's just… it might not be as obvious, but this place is just as competitive as the training camp. In the training camp, though, we were all more or less equal. While here, as the least experienced, I'm the most likely to up and let the side down. Which is why I had the bright idea to get the guys to tell me what could go wrong.

Apparently, everything can and will. And for the next three months at least I should resign myself to being the cause of every single fault and failure.

Noona reckons that it was a kind of mental hazing… since I'd been stupid enough to show my concern. She could be right, of course. Some of the stories were rather colourful. But what if she's not?