I am… Am not… I am… Am not… I am… Am not… Worried about the completion ceremony that is. Turn. Present rifle. Lower rifle. Parade rest. And start over.

Hours of drill, when you know the steps and the whole troop moves in synch without a flaw, is wearing to hell and back. Like extended dance practice. A kind of torture only someone like Yunho or Junsu would appreciate.

They haven't given our postings yet, so it's all conjecture, speculation, apprehension and very short tempers.

Parade drill leaves me too much time to think and speculate. Leaves me moving on autopilot and my brain free to jabber.

The basic training will be over. Which is a good thing, I suppose. I'll get to see my family. I might get to see Junsu or Yoochun, too. Beyond that… lies starting over yet again.

And I've never been more relieved when parade drill was done and the sergeant called me over. Because the only thing - apart from a crate of soju - that I know has the power to stop my mind is food. Cooking it. And he said they'd let me.