Characters: SHINee: Taemin, Minho, Key, Jonghyun and Onew. OC: Eunkyung

The Review:

1. The Title (8/10)

I’m really torn about this title. I do really like it because it’s short and easy to remember, however, I feel like I’ve heard it a few times before. Was it a drama, or maybe a movie? But, on a first look, it is neat and would probably lead me to read the tags and description. Again, since it’s short, it most probably will help me remember the story easier and so on. Good job!

2. The Visuals (9/10)

Okay, now up to the visuals. I really like that you didn’t put a background image because that will most probably distract me from concentrating solely on the story itself. As for your poster, it’s neat and clean, which is neat but I feel like something is a little bit off. Maybe it’s just my eyes but I feel like the black and white images of JongHyun and IU don’t go well with the neon yellow background. Bu then again, that’s just me.

3. The Intro (7/10)

Now on to your intro: I like the first two sentences between your OC and JongHyun but when she says, "I'm sorry... I have Amnesia, so I'm sorry if I don't remember you..." I feel like that seems sort of awkward and scripted. Would she actually say “I have amnesia” straight to a person’s face without knowing them, even if she were pretending?  I know if I were JongHyun, I would find it weird. So that is probably the only thing that threw me off from your description. I also have a comment about the foreword. I would suggest not putting rhetorical questions like: How is Eunkyung going to pull off the biggest lie she has ever said? It can’tbe that hard... Right?These types of questions give out the whole story out and are quite cheesy because almost everybody does them and after a while you know what the answer is. But yeah, that’s about it.

4. The Flow/ Development (7/10)

I really liked your first chapter. It was descriptive and I like that you explained what happened between them when they were younger, without dragging it out too much. However, after that I feel like the story slows down quite a bit, there’s no more action. Maybe Minho’s genius mind discovering that she’s just pretending but that’s about it. Also, I feel like you sidetracked from the description because when EunKyung saw JongHyun sad, she immediately started feeling bad for him and started regretting lying. I thought she was supposed to ‘strongly dislike’ him? Does she still secretly have feelings for him?

5. The Plot (6/10)

Okay, so regarding your plot, I’m also split, just like the title. First of all, I love the overall idea of the main character pretending to have amnesia but after that, it becomes very cheesy. First of all, how did she immediately become friends with SHINee, without having crazy fangirls stalk her? Then, how did Taemin and Minho magically pop up in her school? I mean, I understand how they did but I feel like adding a bit more details will be a good addition because otherwise there are some plot holes here and there. Also, when Onew stayed behind and helped her, how did fans not notice him? Oh, and would his manager just let him go like that? Wouldn’t Taemin want to spend some time with his old best friend? These are just some simple ideas, as to what I would like to be explained or to have happened if I was a reader.

6. The Characters (9/10)

So, now that we’re up to characters, I would like to say that I am satisfied. I like the main girl, for the most part. She doesn’t pretend that she doesn’t know SHINee overall but just that she doesn’t remember going to school with JongHyun. I think that was nice detail to the plot. Also, I appreciate that you didn’t make Taemin act like a five year old, however, he does overuse the word ‘NOONA’ at certain points, which gets a little annoying. JongHyun remains mysterious for now, since he looked sad when she said she didn’t remember her. My guess would be that he liked her or something of this sort. However, I can’t really comment on him for now. Minho and Onew are cute overall, a little cheesy, but still bearable. Good!

7. The Chapter Titles (9/10)

First of all, yay, a fic with chapter titles. This makes me happy already. I like your titles; most of them are short and sweet. I just want to mention, I feel like some of them, like ‘Secret’s Out’ gave out pretty much the whole chapter. Maybe a little more summarizing but nothing that will tell the whole chapter in two words would be nice? But, I do like the rest of the chapters!

8. The Grammar and Spelling (10/10)

I am happy to say; I hardly found any typos in your story. This is awesome, because that way, I’m not distracted by countless mistakes and I can read the story easily. I did find a few but they were not grammatical, just spelling. I’m not going to dock off any points because they were almost unnoticeable and very minor. Awesome!

9. The Originality (2/10)

Okay, this is the category that you loose the most points. Maybe it’s not a bad thing for everybody but once I read or watch a certain plotline countless times, I just can’t concentrate anymore. Why? Because I know what’s going to happen. I’m going to say, that almost all of your chapters are pretty predictable and cheesy. Also, I’m going to mention again, how does EunKyung become friends with SHINee so easily and openly, without one single fangirl (or maybe fanboy) noticing? I’ve been seeing this is a lot of fics recently and I just wanted to point it out. But yeah, I think for future chapters, you should perhaps add some twists and cliffhangers, or something of this sort? So overall, just add some unpredictable situations and something original, that we perhaps have not seen before, and I will give you back the lost points.

10. Enjoyed It or Not So Much? (6/10)

So, overall, I like this story. It’s cute and fluffy, with a slightly confused main character. I like your writing style, and the fact that there are almost no mistakes. However, originality is probably the area that this lacks in. From the title, to the intro, to the cheesy plot. Again, I suggest adding some twists to make this plot a little more exciting. But, as a whole, I did enjoy reading it.

[Total]: (73/100)

Overall, a pretty good score. Once again, originality is probably your biggest problem. Add some twists and I will gladly give you a much higher score! But I love the fact that there were no grammar mistakes, so good job! 

Thank you so much for requesting and I apologize for the wait!

**nikkixobg

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/121941/panda-s-review-shop-korean-kpop-request-review

(request from her! She's honest and very kind! ^-^b)

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Hehe... Sorry! Not a new chapter :)

I will be updating the old chapters and fixing some things with the plot.

The plot, I feel, is EVERYWHERE! 

If you read the review, then you will know what I mean.

But if you didn't, I'll give you the lowdown:

My story is cliche. So I'm going to add some twists and turns and tweak some stuff. 

I will be also getting a new poster... I've been meaning to change it but I didn't get around to doing so.

Overall, my score was good :)

I can't re-do this story... AGAIN. You guys will get angry and I don't want that :(

But I'm guessing that you guys just cannot be bothered to re-read the old chapters that are tweaked?

Please comment and help me out here! :(