12 - Baekhyun
~ EXO ~ 마마 ~Baekhyun.
Do you know what it’s like to feel lonely? To be alone in the dark while everyone else has their own light? I hate that feeling…
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Another day, another incredibly lonely day.
Waking up alone. Getting ready alone. Going to work alone. Working alone. Finishing work alone. Walking home alone. Going to a café alone. Everything I did, I did alone.
Walking into the café I took a table by the window while I waited for my afternoon tea. Alone. I looked outside. People everywhere. Not alone. There were people talking on phones, and people jogging together, people playing in the park with their friends, families out for an afternoon walk, couples on dates, old people sitting together. Everyone had someone. Everyone except me.
My order came, and I quietly munched my snack while sipping my coffee every now and then. I looked out the window again, and in every ‘together’ I saw, I just saw how lonely I was. If I only had someone, a friend. I’d play with them, make jokes with them, share secrets with them, laugh with them, just be with them. That would make me so happy, and I would do everything I could to make sure they’re happy. But that was never going to happen…
After I was told to finish and leave the café, I walked home alone. People all around me were going home together, but I had to walk by myself. It was starting to get dark, and the street lamps were lighting themselves one by one as I walked past. Whenever it was dark they’d always lights up when I walked past. Maybe they sensed my loneliness.
When I got inside, I my light and put my stuff away. I sat alone and stared out of my window. The sky was dark now, the stars burning brightly. I liked that, the stars were burning brightly for the moon. The moon was my friend for the time being, and it always lit up brightly for me, he’d always listen to my jokes, however they just weren’t as funny with him. After bidding my goodnights to the moon, I went to sleep.
Alone.
And I woke up alone.
And again, I went to a café alone. This time I had brunch there. It was good, and I ate slowly as I read the newspaper. Nothing interesting was there, I just didn’t want people to look at me weirdly. It was quiet alone, even though the café was fairly busy.
“Excuse me sir?”
I looked up to see another man around my age standing next to me. I was very confused as to why he was talking to me, he wasn’t wearing the café uniform. “May I sit opposite you for my meal? The café’s packed and there’s no other seats available.” I looked up from my newspaper, and saw that the only other booth available was being a third wheel to a couple. I nodded, and he sat down opposite to me while he ordered.
“So, what’s your name?”
“Baekhyun.”
“Nice to meet you Baekhyun. I’m Lay.” We shook hands, and his food came. We both ate together in silence, and although it was awkward, I enjoyed it.
“So Baekhyun, why are you here today?”
“Hmm? Oh, I didn’t feel like making breakfast, so I came here.”
“It seems everyone else here had the same idea.”
We both smiled together and continued in out small talk. At one point, a waiter came to ask me if I had finished with my newspaper, and I folded it up and gave it to him. On the way, I got a paper cut. Immediately I retracted in pain, and the waiter asked if I was ok. I nodded, and told him I was ok. He smiled and went to give the newspaper to another person who wanted to read it. The man opposite me asked if he could see what happened, and I showed him my pointer finger.
“It’s really nothing, I just got a little paper cut.”
“But it’s bleeding, and it’s across nearly your whole finger!”
“It’s fine, nothing a bandaid won- hey!”
Before I had even finished, he had grabbed my hand and ran his finger across my paper cut and I was surprised that it didn’t sting. He looked up at me and I looked up at him. He smiled and I looked down at my finger. The cut was completely gone, not even a trace of blood on my finger.
“How did you?”
“Shh. It’s a secret.”
“But how?”
“I’ll tell you if you come with me.”
I thought over it, extremely hesitant, but this could end up in a friendship that I so desperately craved. I slowly nodded, and we went up to pay for our food. We walked out to the park, and sat down on a bench.
“So, what’s your secret?”
“I have the power to heal.”
“Excuse me?”
“The power to heal. Look.”
He pulled out a small pocket knife, and rolled up his sleeve. He slashed it across his forearm quickly, and shocked, I pulled out my handkerchief to wipe away the small dots of blood forming on his arm. He swatted my arm away, and ran his fingers across the cut, it healing completely. I didn’t believe my eyes, and took his arm into my hands and tried to figure out the trick.
“I told you. It’s my power.”
“Magic?”
“I guess you could say so.”
We sat in silence for a while, until I realised I was still holding his arm. I let go for him, and we enjoyed each other’s company for a while. For once, I had someone next to me. I wasn’t sad looking at kids playing together, or at couples goofing around, or people jogging or people on the phones. I had someone next to me, and although I didn’t really know if he was my friend or not, I was happy.
“You have a secret too.”
“Hmm?”
“You have a secret. Do you know what it is?”
“That I’m a loner?”
His eyes smiled as his face lit up in laughter, and I couldn’t help but giggle along. It felt amazing to make someone else laugh.
“No, but you’re funny. You have a secret, a power like mine.”
“You mean I can heal?”
“No.”
“Then what?”
“Think about it. Has something always happened that made you calm, happy even?”
“I dunno. I always feel at ease when there is something lighting my way.”
“You’re really close.”
“What?”
“Keep thinking.”
“I like it when I’m walking home in the evening, and the street lights light my way.”
“There you go.”
“What?”
“Light.”
“Light?”
“Light.”
He looked at me expectantly, and I didn’t know what to do. So I held up my hands in defeat, but in the corner of my eyes I saw something bright. Inside my palms were something bright. I brought them to my lap, and saw a circle of light growing brighter in my hands. I got excited, and saw them getting even brighter. I could see Lay start to shield his eyes, and I immediately stopped. He looked at me and smiled, and I smiled back brighter.
“Friends?”
“Friends.”
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I met one person, and they showed me how bright I could be. Even if I’m all alone, I won’t be alone in the dark anymore. I can always shine a bright light and be re-joined with my friends anytime. I’ll never have to be alone again.
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