Jaebum runs the back of his hand over his forehead, wiping away the beads of sweat that have gathered there as he makes his way over to Jinyoung. It’s been a few weeks since he last came here, and for the first time he didn’t cry on the way over. Mark would say that it’s completely normal, that it’s a natural part of moving on, but Jaebum can’t help but feel a bit unnerved. Jaebum isn’t a masochist, he certainly doesn’t want to go back to the days where it hurt just to breathe and he couldn’t bring himself to get out of bed in the morning, but the pain was a reflection of the greatness of his loss. If he’s not in pain, doesn’t that mean that he doesn’t miss Jinyoung anymore, that he’s on the path to forgetting how much the other man meant–means–to him?

Shaking his head, he pushes those thoughts out of his mind as he steps up to where Jinyoung now rests. “Hey,” Jaebum smiles faintly. “It’s been a little while since we last spoke. Not much has changed on this end except that Bambam has dyed his hair again–he went back to blond–and Yugyeom finally got his driver’s licence. Looks like he’s no longer afraid to drive after what happened to you.” Looks like Jaebum isn’t the only one that’s starting to move on.

He shakes his head again, forcing a smile to his face. “You might be wondering what I’m holding behind back. Well, you might want to sit down for this,” he pauses, “You said it couldn’t be done, but look here,” Jaebum pulls his right hand from behind his back to display six white flowers. “I finally managed to make something grow,” he chuckles lowly, the smile on his face becoming less strained.  “It took me ages to get the pH and the moistness of the soil right, who knew that growing flowers could be so damned complicated?”

Jaebum lays the flowers on top of Jinyoung’s final resting place and places a smooth river stone on top of their stems. The warm, summer wind picks up and the scent of gardenias saturates the air. Jaebum closes his eyes and inhales deeply. Behind his eyelids flash images of himself and Jinyoung kneeling in the dirt, getting sweaty and filthy as they meticulously weeded the small plot of land they called their own. Jaebum can almost feel the dirt caked into his fingernails, can almost hear Jinyoung’s laughter as he playfully throws a weed at Jaebum’s face, can almost taste the saltiness of the sweat on Jinyoung’s lips as the other man gives him a congratulatory kiss…

The wind calms. Jaebum slowly blinks open his eyes. “Well, that’s all have time to report today,” Jaebum says apologetically with a glance at his watch. “I should’ve come earlier, but I wanted to wait until at least a handful of the flowers were mature enough to show off. I’ll be back soon with an even bigger bunch, all hand grown,” Jaebum smiles. “There were some hiccups along the way, but your garden is definitely in good hands now.” Jaebum kneels down and presses a kiss to the cold stone, right over Jinyoung’s engraved name. “I’ll tall to you later,” he waves and turns away, heading off with his hands in his pockets.

A light gust of wind blows, cooling Jaebum’s heated skin and sending him off with a sweet scent imprinted in his senses and sweeter memories swirling in his mind.