“Remind me, whose bright idea was it to give the baby this weapon of mass destruction?” Jaebum drawls as he’s once again hit in the head with the brightly-coloured plastic toy. He narrows his eyes as said baby just grins up at him, flashing the two small teeth that are growing in the front of ; she’s lucky to be so damned cute.

“Jackson’s,” Mark says with a roll of his eyes, getting up from his perch on the sofa to retrieve the rattle.

“Of course,” Jaebum says dryly, flinching as the toy is once again sent bouncing off his skull. Distantly, he can already hear the viewers at home laughing at his misfortune. “Haven’t I been hit long enough already? Who’s turn is now?” As if on cue, Youngjae walks past the living room. “Youngjae! It’s your turn to play with the baby,” Jaebum gets up and grabs him by the arm, pushing the rattle into his hand and all but shoving the younger man towards the baby.

“Huh? What?” Youngjae blinks wide-eyed as the toy is hurled at his face, producing giggles from their guest.

“That’s perfect timing, actually. She’s about due for a nap and you can sing her to sleep,” Mark says with a glance at his watch.

“I thought she was supposed to nap after a meal,” Jaebum frowns.

“She is, but Jackson, Jinyoung and Yugyeom are taking too long at the store. She can eat after she has a nap.”

“I knew I should’ve gone with them. Jinyoung’s too soft to properly rein in Jackson and Yugyeom just goes along with whatever he wants to do,” Jaebum shakes his head with a sigh. “Alright, work your magic, Youngjae,” he gestures for the younger man to hold the baby.

As the youngest child in his entire family, Youngjae doesn’t have much practice with taking care of babies and it shows. Of all the major mishaps that the group has had with feeding, changing diapers, bathing, etc. Youngjae has been involved with no less than half of them. The one thing he’s excelled at beyond anyone else’s capabilities is singing the baby to sleep. No matter how fussy or agitated she’s been, she always relaxes whenever Youngjae opens his mouth and serenades her. She’s not the only one who the magic works on judging by the way Mark is lying down on the sofa.

“Love you, loved you/ I must have not been enough/ Maybe I could see you just once by coincidence/ Everyday I grow restless/ Everything about you is becoming faint/ You smile back in our pictures, unknowing of our approaching farewell,” Youngjae croons as he rocks slightly, gently rubbing the baby’s back.

While the camera is trained on him, Jaebum leans up to whisper into Mark’s ear so that his voice isn’t picked up on the boom mic. “If Jackson were here, he’d insist Youngjae sing one of our songs.”

Mark chuckles lowly behind his hand, “Or at least something by a JYP artist.”

As if summoned, the front door swings open and Jackson bursts through with a plastic bag clutched in his hand. “We’re back! Sorry it took so long, Jinyoung got lost in the supermarket,” he says as he heads to the kitchen, Yugyeom trailing behind him.

“You were the one who wandered off!” Jinyoung protests as he furiously kicks off his shoes.

“Really? I had Yugyeom and the camera people with me. As far as I can tell, you were the one who got lost,” Jackson says with an insolent shrug. Jinyoung shakes a fist at him, drawing back into himself when he notices two large pair of eyes blinking curiously at him from over Youngjae’s shoulder. “You’re lucky there’s a baby around right now,” he grumbles as he heads to the kitchen.

“Well, I guess we should just feed Yebin since you’re back now,” Mark says.

“I’ll go get Bambam,” Jaebum heads out of the room.

“Jackson’s dramatic entrance has got her a bit riled up,” Youngjae mutters as he awkwardly struggles to hold the squirming infant.

Jackson abandons Jinyoung and Yugyeom in the kitchen and jogs over to Youngjae with spread arms. “Don’t listen to these boring stiffs, you like to have fun don’t you? So do I! Come to Uncle Jackson and let’s have a ball, Yebin-ah,” he coos as she tugs on his hair with one hand, slaps the rattle against his shoulder with the other, and mouths wet kisses into his cheek.

“I still can’t believe she likes you the most,” Mark shakes his head.

“I can,” Jaebum says as he re-enters the living room, Bambam behind him. Jackson beams. “She’s adorable, but also incredibly mischievous and troublesome and she senses a kindred spirit with him.” Jackson pouts for a moment before his smile returns.

“So, basically, you think I’m cute?” he winks. Jaebum rolls his eyes but doesn’t refute it. Jackson readjusts her body to face Bambam who is sitting with her food and a spoon. They’ve found through trial and error that feeding goes smoothest when Bambam is there to chatter to her in Thai. Not only do the foreign sounding syllables capture her attention, the adorably confused she makes appeals to the audience and leaves gaping, making it easier to actually get food into it.

“อยากบอกว่ามีแค่เรา แค่เพียงเธอและฉัน ทุกทุกนาทีเราดีต่อกันดีไหม / อยากบอกว่ามีแค่เรา อยู่กันเพียงแค่นี้ ให้เรื่องดีดีคงดีกว่าการให้ร้าย / เมื่อเธอและฉันต้องใกล้กัน ต่างคนต้องให้อภัยทุกทุกอย่าง /พรุ่งนี้จะยังมีเราต่อไป  ” No-one has any idea what he’s singing and Bambam refused to tell them in a fit of pique after they banned him from doing his usual rap. Still, it gets the job done and that’s all any of them really care about in the end. Once that’s done with, Jackson reluctantly hands Yebin back to Youngjae.

“Don’t be sorry/ That makes me more pitiful–”

“Wait, wait, wait! We all know that I’m a huge fan of Taeyang-sunbaenim, but I think you should sing one of the songs from our album instead,” Jackson interrupts. “Like, come on, Youngjae, don’t you know how to self-promote?” he rolls his eyes in exasperation. Mark and Jaebum share a smirk behind his back. Youngjae pouts but capitulates to Jackson’s demand. Once Yebin has been put to sleep, the cameras shut off for a break before they film their confessionals.

“Ah, who knew talking care of a baby could be so difficult with seven people to share the load?” Yugyeom sighs around a mouthful of kimbap, flopping down on the floor beside the sofa. Mark lowers his foot and rub’s the younger man’s belly with it. Yugyeom feeds the older man one of his rolls.

“I don’t get you guys, I feel more energised than ever,” Jackson declares, recoiling from the hand Jinyoung throws over his mouth. “Oh come on, I wasn’t even talking loud enough to wake her. Let me live, yeah?” he complains.

“As if you can properly gauge when you’re being too loud,” Jinyoung scoffs quietly.

Jaebum shakes his head with a low chuckle. Fifteen minutes later, when it’s his turn in the confessional, he recounts how the day went and what was going through his mind at the time. “It’s been a bit chaotic, but not necessarily in bad way. It’s way too soon for me to be thinking of having children, but this experience has made me yearn for the day a little bit,” he says with a wistful smile. His face goes blank when he catches sight of the plastic toy lying innocently on the floor. “I’ll close with a quick message to my future child. Dear son/daughter, you can have whatever toy you want, but I will make sure that you never, ever get a rattle to play with. I love you.”