Before We Begin: This is an intermission for the chapter 'Saying Goodbye...'

From: Tiger Lily                                 1:22PM

Arrived at Tokyo airport, and have found a spare seat to send you this e-mail. If you think I’m going to follow your ‘three emails a day’ regime, you are seriously going to have another think coming. I’m probably going to murder one of the food stall holders for their sushi in a minute, and I’ll most likely throw it up in the toilet five minutes later.

Yes Dad, I’m sipping some water as I’m typing this to you.

The train to Kyoto will arrive in about five minutes, but I’m going to take maybe fifteen minutes to rediscover my legs after that three hour flight. Did you know Beijing is one hour behind Tokyo? So expect me to email you at midnight your time. Why? Because I want you to suffer like I am right now.

(I don’t.)

Love you! Xx

Sent from my iPhone

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From: Galaxy                                     3:24PM

I think you’ll find that my ‘three emails a day’ regime has been prepared in consultation with several lonely housewives and a teenage gamer. Seriously.

I know you’re a terrible flier, Tora, but go easy on the airport food. It may look appetising, but it’s really not; it’s just a ploy to get you to buy the stuff and make them more money than they probably need. What’s the conversion rate like between currencies? This is totally not research for a holiday; stop reading this with your ‘I-know-you’ face. That’s the one you make where you look unimpressed with everything and your eyebrows are slightly frowned.

Good luck with the commute on top of your jetlag! Something tells me that everyone travelling with you is going to need it! (Don’t hit me.)

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From: Tiger Lily                                 4:26PM                                 Attachments: 5

Now I know why I gave up Japan for South Korea. The freaking commute…I even chose an off-peak train deliberately, and I was still turned into a sardine! Nevertheless, I’m safe and sound in Kyoto sitting at the station frowning at the last email you sent me. Did your mother really say that? Because I don’t believe it. Your mother is a lovely woman; picture of perfection. Tell her I said that and I’ll probably be disowned as a daughter-in-law or something as outrageous as that.

What do you think of the photos? I’m not in any of them because I didn’t want you to see my jetlagged face, despite having seen it when we flew from Seoul to Beijing. The scenery around Kyoto is absolutely amazing…it’s hard to believe that I’m a native of this place. *sigh*

I’m currently sitting on my bed in Ryu’s house typing this to you. We’re all going to Grandad together, but Mum hasn’t arrived yet. Rune reckons the sight of her will shock him to death, but Ryu says it’ll be Gran’s presence. I’m content to go either way only because Grandad didn’t exactly favour either of them – Gran because he left her, and Mum because she’s not the girl he picked for Dad.

Gotta go; Mum’s here. Love you! Xx

Sent from my iPad

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From: Galaxy                                     4:28PM

I bet you wish you had your car over there right now, don’t you? You wouldn’t be feeling so homesick and you’d be able to transport yourself anywhere you damn well wanted to go, you independent woman you. Yeah, that sounded better in my head, too. Well, nobody’s perfect.

The photos are nice, but they’d look even better if my tiger lily’s face was in at least one of them. Are you that scared of thieves that you won’t lend your camera to another person so I can see you? Skype me later and we’ll discuss that point; if I don’t answer though, it’ll be because my mother will have roped me into another of her lengthy discussions involving my foreseeable future. Hopefully this time round she’ll include you into my future.

I always knew your family was a little bizarre, though I guess having spent enough time around them has slightly skewed my thoughts on that matter. When you said your grandparents divorced I didn’t realise it was because he ran off on Haneul. She seems such a strong woman, so I guess it’s true when they say that the mightiest eagle was once a fluffy eaglet. Yes, I did just make that up; I love you, too.

Sent from Windows Mail.

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From: Tiger Lily                                 5:12AM

Grandad moved on two hours ago. I had to stop trembling before I let you know. We all stayed awake until he went, and some of us had a cry before falling asleep. Save for me; I regret it too, because I’m now extra irritable. Gran told me that the funeral is set for next Tuesday at the Shinto shrine he used to visit all the time, especially in times of crisis like when Dad moved to Italy to be with Mum. He’s going to be buried in the Himitsu plot here in Kyoto, and I’m hoping that the whole thing – funeral to wake and beyond – is a completely low-key thing.

Mum says hello, and so do Rune and Ryu. Rune says she wishes that you were here, mostly because Takeo keeps asking for his ‘Uncle Fan’ and partly because she said last night that she didn’t want to hug me in case I bit her. To be fair, it was only once and I was seven at the time (our first pet dog had died; don’t judge me). I don’t know if she did it deliberately, but she reminded me of how much I miss you and how much I wish I was crying into your shoulder by now.

Love you! Xx

Sent from my iPhone

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From: Galaxy                                     10:02AM

To set the tone, my deepest condolences are extended to you and your family in this harrowing time.

On a completely unrelated note, why didn’t you send me a photo of your grieving face? And don’t give me some excuse of “I’m not photogenic right now”, because you know I think you are beautiful no matter what you look like. You could be wearing the filthiest of rags and I’d still call you beautiful.

…okay, I’m making myself puke; I have no idea about you.

Does that mean I’m the favourite uncle now? Or does that mean Takeo thinks that you and I are surgically attached? Sometimes I wouldn’t mind that (cough-rightnow-cough), but sometimes I think we both need our space from each other. Remember that week when Chanyeol…yeah? I won’t go into detail. I’m sure you’re burning a lovely shade of scarlet right now.

Damn it, get an Instagram account! I’ve saved all those photos you’ve sent me and uploaded them to my own account and told the world that my girlfriend is from the most amazing place in the world, but I don’t think it means the same unless the original photographer was to describe them. Although Sehun did comment on that photo you took of Nijou Castle; he said he was jealous you got to see such an amazing place while still being as grumpy as Grumpy Cat. I hit him for you; thank me later.

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From: Tiger Lily                                 2:56PM                                 Attachments: 1

This is my funeral face, all tear streaked and still free of make-up. Mum and Rune looked like they had zebra faces by the time Grandad was put into the ground. Crying tends to make you tired, as I found out after snapping at Ryu when he offered me a tissue. I did apologise to him; stop reading this email with your judging face.

Yes, I am wearing a skirt, in case you want to know. Mum wouldn’t let me leave the house until I was dressed appropriately, and coincidentally she’d brought over some of her designs from Florence. I think she just loves it when I squirm every time I have to play pin up doll.

Apparently, crying also makes you hungry, because before I went back to Ryu’s I made him stop off at a Chinese restaurant because I was craving the stuff. He said it was because of you, to which I replied with “How? Yifan’s not here”. Ryu then made some double entendre that made me nearly stab him with the chopsticks I was holding at the time.

I will probably be back in Korea next week, though I’ll see if I can annoy Ryu enough to make him buy me plane tickets for earlier. Love you! Xx

Sent from my iPhone

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From: Galaxy                                     3:12PM

All red and puffy, and still as beautiful as the day I asked you out. Not that you weren’t beautiful before then, but that day was when you officially became my tiger lily and the only woman I’ll ever need to look at. Did I get out of that one? And I hope you didn’t snap any important appendages off your brother; last I heard, his partner was pregnant and he got promoted to software development or something at the gaming company he works at. So he might need all of his appendages.

A skirt?! Why, of all times, am I not around to see these things?! I must have killed a nun in a past life or something, because you never wear a skirt around me. I’ll put that on my birthday list; it has to come true one day, right? Remind me to thank your mother next time I happen to be talking to her.

I can kind of guess what Ryu was hinting about, too. You should’ve stabbed him; I would’ve paid your bail. If it makes you go any redder, I miss that too. Maybe that can be what we do first when we get back home! I’ll even wear that cologne I know you like. You know, the one you stole a few drops of to put onto my favourite hoodie when I went to China the first time in the early days?

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From: Tiger Lily                                 9:08PM

Yay! Home again! I’m not actually going ‘home’, per se; Gran got back the day before, so I’m crashing at her house for about a week. One good thing about packing for every extremity is that I’ve got a ton of clothes that need washing, so guess what I’ll be doing before I come home? And I’ve kept some stuff at Gran’s in case of emergencies so I’m not short of choice.

In between all the flying and the trains and the funeral and the emotional stress that this whole trip has inevitably caused me, I’m surprised I haven’t had an asthma attack. I mean, I’ve had my reliever on me the whole time but it’s never left my purse. Should I take it as a sign or should I get paranoid and deliberately set myself off to check that it’s still working?

I’m wearing your favourite hoodie now, the one with your cologne over it. When you mentioned it I suddenly remembered I packed it to sleep in so I could pretend that you were sleeping with me every night. The sales girl at the shop did look at me funny when I told her I was buying cologne for my boyfriend, but that could’ve been because I showed her your picture and she got jealous. I’m still trying to work out if your clothes are two sizes too big or just three. Point is, I’m almost swimming in this and yet it’s still so warm and reminding me of you and…and I’m going to sign off before I start crying because you’re not here with me.

Love you! Xx

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From: Galaxy                                     9:18PM

“In case of emergency”? I had a small heart attack when I read that. That emergency better be a serious emergency, because there’s no way I’d let you go until everything was sorted out. Speaking of sorted out, this is why I let you check my luggage before we go anywhere. You have practically everything organised; I think you need to get some help on that just to confirm that you really do have OCD.

You stole my favourite hoodie? I was looking for that the other day, but now I know where it is I can start teasing you for it. Imagine that, my girlfriend misses me enough that she’s willing to steal her boyfriend’s clothes to keep him close to heart. This is coming up at your next birthday, I hope you realise that. I could’ve done with the ego inflation too, so thanks for telling me about that sales girl. Can you please wear my hoodie when we meet again? I want to check for myself about you swimming in my clothes. You’d think the ten centimetre difference would do something for it, but then again I am quite broad shouldered.

I don’t feel like I tell you enough: I love you.