I saw how YG staffs treat her differently; even Yang sajangnim treats her differently. Though it’s said that she will debut in her group, SuPearl, but clearly she’s the one that outshine all her member. It’s not her fault anyway, but it creates jealousy among all the trainees. Starting with their members, and soon other groups start to talk about her and special treatment given to her by YG staffs. Slow but sure, they start to alienate her. I saw her eating alone in the cafeteria, practicing alone, and even going to their dorm alone. I wonder what happened at their dorm, will she be okay?

One day, Yang sajangnim announced that she will be featured in Epik High’s new song. She started to practice in YG building, but she still stays in her dorm. Sometimes she comes to the training building but I always saw her alone. I started to worry about her, so I decided that I need to talk to her.

“Hey there. Late lunch?” I try to open conversation while taking my tray, sitting across her.

“Hey. I haven’t seen you in a while, Hanbin-ssi. Are you busy?”

“No, just doing the same thing, training. How about your practice with Epik High-hyung?”

“It went well. They’re really kind and caring with me.” She somehow forces a smile, I know she didn’t really want to smile right now.

“See, it’s not that I want to meddle with your business, but are you okay?”

“What do you mean? I’m okay and healthy.”

“You know what I meant. With your SuPearl girls and other trainees.”

“Ah, that. I know that it would happen sooner or later. It’s natural, though. We all want to debut as soon as possible, and the fact that I get to feature in Epik High-oppas really fast must’ve been really weird. I don’t know what would they react if they know that I’ll debut right after that.”

“Are you?”

“Yes, I am.”

“If that’s the case, why are you telling me that?”

“You're the first trainee that I told about this, actually. I don’t know. Maybe I guess you won’t hate me just because I debut earlier than you. You seem to be quite rational.”

“I really want to debut, fast. But I know that it’s all up to our management, and I believe that they know what’s best for us. So it that means you should debut first, well I’m okay with that.”

“Exactly what I thought you would say.”

“Actually, I think you would be sad, or even cry alone in a corner by this alienation.”

“I don’t have time to be sad. I need to be stronger and become a great singer. Someone believes that I can become a great singer, so I have the obligation to prove that.”

“Seriously, you are amazing handling this.”

“Thank you, Jennie also said that to me last night.”

“She did?”

“Yes, she actually had this moment when people are jealous of her because she keeps on singing and featuring with YG artists. She said that it will all go away, so I only need to do my best.”

“So, I don’t really have to worry about you, then.”

“But thanks for worrying me, though. It felt nice to talk openly about this. Thank you, Hanbin-ssi.”

“Ummm, can we throw away the formality? We’re the same age. I’ll call you Hayi and you’ll call me Hanbin, okay?”

“Okay, but what’s with Hanbin-ssi? I like it.”

“I don’t like it, I feel like an old man being called like that.”

“Okay than Hanbin-ah. Better?”

“Much better, Hayi-ya.”
“Ah, I need to go now, good luck! You’ll do well.”

“Thank you very much for worrying about me. That’s very nice of you. See you later.”

I go to my practice room and walk to my members who are busy practicing for our next evaluation.

“Guys, we really need to practice harder. I hope we can debut soon.”

“Yah, what happened to you Hanbin-ah? Suddenly talking about debuting.” Jinhwan-hyung asks me confusedly.

“Nothing, hyung. I just feel that we need to work harder. We’ll do great. I really believe that.”

“You’re so positive. I like that!” Jiwon-hyung added with a great smile.

-----

October comes quickly, so does her debut. She is officially debuted at 28^th October. Strangely I feel people aren’t so cold to her anymore. Maybe just as she said, they will come around eventually. Her debut gives me extra encouragement to do better. I don’t want to be left behind too far.

Her debut is like a tornado. She sweeps away all competition, even in her debut stage. She stays at 1^st in various music sites for 16 days in a row with her debut song, ‘1,2,3,4’, gaining herself the title of ‘Rookie Monster’. I guess she’s worked really hard. It’s great to see her on TV, but it’s been months since the last time I talk to her. We’re not that close, so it’ll be really awkward for me if I suddenly call her. So I just drop it, and stick with watching her on TV instead, supporting her from my dorm.

I finally meet her early in January. She is thinner; I guess she’s been really tired from all her promotion this several months. I want to greet her, but she seems to be busy and in a hurry. I saw her entering a small meeting room, so I wait until her meeting is over. It’s just 15’ and I saw her going out, there’s something about her expression. Weird expression. She decided to stop in YG cafeteria, so I follow her and sit right across her.

“Hi there, rookie monster.” I smile at her cheerfully.

“Don’t say that. Hi there, Hanbin-ah. I haven’t see you in a while.”

“You are thinner, is promoting new song that tiring?”

“It is, but I’m happy. Well, until now.” She sighed deeply. Something is definitely up.

“YG staffs are asking me to come here to inform me that SuPearl might be disbanding shortly.”
“I feel uneasy. I really like my members but it’s hard to keep being close to them when they’re clearly don’t like me debuting.”

“I understand how you must’ve felt. It’s difficult.”

“It really is. Thank you for talking to me, Hanbin-ah. You always come in a right time, every time I’m in a trouble and in need of someone to talk to.”

“Yah, there’s nothing special about it. Anyway, I love your performance in Gayo Daejun.”

“Really? Thank you! Ah, I want to give you something.” She opened her bag and looking for something.

“Here, take these. It’s for you. Actually it’s the first time I purchase my own single, but I want to give them to you, you’ve been a great help to me.”

“Are you sure, Hayi-ya? I really do nothing, you know?”

“To me you help me a lot, Hanbin-ah. Please take it.”

“Thank you, Hayi-ya. Can you sign them too? My sister will be very envious of me, she is your fan.”

“Oh really? I should give her too, then. Here you go.” She sign both of her singles.

“No, no. You don’t have to, Hayi-ya. We can share these.” I smile and wave her gifts.

“No, no. I’ll send you them later.”
“Ah, have you watched my performance? What do you think?”

“You’re good. But I’ve watched your voice cracked once. You must’ve been tired.”

“I am, but that’s no excuse. I’ll train harder.”

“But you improve so much from your Kpop Star days. You can dance now.”

“Don’t you lie to me, Hanbin-ah. I’m as stiff as a log. I never know that you watch Kpop Star.”

“That program’s really popular, you know?” I try to reason with her, I can’t have her know that I’m her fan.

“Oh, you’re right. It’s really popular indeed.”
“Thank God for that.” We laugh at her last remark. I’m so glad that she lightened up.

“Hayi, I’m really thankful for your gifts. Don’t get too sad about that news, okay. Keep doing well and I’ll cheer for you.”

“ Thank you Hanbin-ah. You must’ve been really busy with practice, yet you’re accompanying me here. Say hi to your members for me, okay?”

“Okay. See you later!”

I keep thinking of her on my way back to our practice room. She’s grown a lot. She’s no longer the girl that cries because she makes a mistake while practicing. She’s a hard working girl. I’m so proud of her.

----

A/N: Hi guys. I am having a hard time to compile all Hayi interaction from her trainee times, debut time until their meeting in Mix and Match since it's about 2 years. I try to sum it up without being too abrupt. Please bear with me. Thanks for reading.