knowledge.

taehyung and jungkook settled down for bed that night just as they would any other night, only this time, taehyung had a backpack full of goodies hidden under the bed, and jungkook was a lot quieter than usual.

"something's wrong." taehyung said, tapping jungkook's cheek. jungkook looked up at him. his expression was a little bit off. it worried taehyung- had jungkook seen something? did taehyung come out of the building covered in blood again? did he lie about not going inside? did he have to shoot someone?

"you've been doing this for a while, haven't you?" jungkook asked. it never occured to taehyung that jungkook would connect those dots. in fact, it hadn't even crossed his mind that jungkook would know exactly what they were doing. but judging by the look on his face, taehyung could safely assume jungkook was thinking of him just like he used to think of his father.

"it's different, jungkook, I swear-"

"different." jungkook muttered. he was silent for a few minutes; taehyung didn't mess with that. and then jungkook looked up, and he had tears in his eyes, and taehyung wanted to wipe them off, but jungkook flinched hard, wouldn't let taehyung near him.

"you said..." jungkook shook his head. "you didn't even say anything. you couldn't have told me? I-I mean, I still would've been angry but- but you could've just told me."

jungkook left the room in silence for a few moments to wipe his eyes. he wasn't yet crying all the much; there was no wetness on his cheeks, but he was getting there. he was definitely getting there. "how many people have you killed, taehyung?"

"nobody that didn't deserve it." taehyung said. he crawled onto the bed to be a little closer to jungkook but, at the same time, look significantly smaller than the younger boy. "look, jungkook, I'm not... it's not what you think. I kill the kind of people that you're thinking of right now. I'm not one of them. yoongi isn't one of them. hoseok isn't one of them. namjoon isn't one of them. jimin isn't one of them. we're... we're not as bad as the other guys."

"you didn't say jin." jungkook said. "is jin one of the other guys?"

"yeah. a little bit." taehyung said. he rose to his knees, took jungkook's hands as the younger boy began backing away. "but he won't hurt you- I won't ever let him hurt you, okay? never."

"does he hurt you?" jungkook asked. "is that why you keep coming home all covered in blood? is that why you cry sometimes? hyung, why- why are you doing this? I thought you were working somewhere with namjoon-hyung-"

"I am." taehyung said. "this is our work. this is what we are. we're criminals."

jungkook didn't breathe for a full minute. taehyung had to coax him back into it, sit him down, calm him down. jungkook still wasn't crying; he was more shocked and angry than anything else.

"hyung, why..." jungkook sighed. "why didn't you tell me, at least? was it some crazy secret that I wasn't supposed to find out? are you going to hurt me now?"

"I'll never hurt you, jungkook." taehyung said. "if you can trust anything I say anymore, it's that I would never hurt you. never. okay? and... I didn't tell you because that would be hurting you. you'd be scared. you would cry. you wouldn't trust me anymore, and I didn't want to lose you like that."

"oh." jungkook said. his shoulders dropped a little, and his eyes dried up, and taehyung thought jungkook had always been too understanding, too forgiving for his own good.

"yoongi would never hurt you, right? and neither would hoseok or jimin or namjoon or me. we didn't sign up for this, jungkook, and there's no easy, painless way to walk out of it, either."

"why do you do it? why did you... why were you- forced?- to do this?"

taehyung didn't answer for a few minutes, but when he did, his voice was shaking. "to protect you."