Volume 3: Chapter 1

I don't want to hate

미워가 싶지않아요

YongHwa's POV

I received an anonymous text message saying "Oppa, saranghae.."

"What am I doing.." I said to myself out loud and made JiEun, who was sitting beside me, look at me. "Hyung, that party.." I called my manager who was driving the car. "Wae?" he replied while focusing on driving. "I can't go.." I feel like I'll only look stupid infront of Jimin if I do this. "Bwo?" my manager didn't like what I said. "Yah, you were especially invited and you won't go?" I just went silent. 

JiEun's POV

Why did he change his mind? "Hyung, pull over.." he requested. Manager-nim took a short glance at YongHwa with the front mirror. "Arasseo.." without hesitation, manager-nim pulled over. We stopped at the side of the streets. I observed YongHwa's expression. Why is he so upset? "JiEun-ssi. Sorry, for getting you involved..." he said. "It's ok! Really!" I tried to cheer him up.

"(sigh)* It can't be helped, let's just go hyung.." YongHwa ordered. "Are you sure?" he asked. "Eung.." YongHwa nodded. Examining YongHwa's face.. I can't help but want to hug him.. Reminding me of how I also got hurt before.. "How hurt you must have been.." I unconsciously said those out loud. YongHwa was looked up and faced me. He seemed surprise to hear that. "A-aniyo! D-don't mind what I said!" I stuttered and looked away through the window feeling uneasy.

---

We arrived at the party. My heart was beating so fast. I was excited and nervous.

We entered a room full of celebrities. "Daebak. Kim Tae Hee? Jung Il Woo? Kim Soo Hyun! (gasp)* Lee Jong Suk?!!" I was being unprofessional. Manager-nim glared at me. "J-Joesonghaeyo.." I tried to keep my cool. "Eummmm... I want to take a picture with them.." I said to myself. "Ah ne.. annyeonghaseyo.." Someone passed by me. The presence felt so familiar. My eyes followed that person. "Oh! Mr. Lee!" Someone called and made that guy turn around. I gasped after seeing that person. "A-appa?" I can't believe it. "JiEun-ssi, let's go." manager-nim grabbed my wrist. "W-wait.." my eyes were stick to my father's face. Is that really him? It can't be him. I want to cry.. "JiEun-ssi.." manager-nim started to drag me. I just weakly agreed to go. No.. I'm just imagining.. he just looks like my father....

We went to a buffet table. "JiEun-ssi, are you hungry?" manager-nim asked. I can't think right.. "Ne? I-I'm okay.." I was really disturbed seeing that person.. YongHwa also looked disturbed. Her ex-girlfriend was around. They were making eye contacts but the girl immediately looked away ignoring him. "JiEun-ssi, don't go anywhere on your on ok?" manager-nim ordered. 

YongHwa was being interviewed by different people who was interested with his upcoming careers/plans. I kinda felt isolated. I walked around and searched for that person I saw earlier. While looking around, someone suddenly bumped unto me causing the wine I was holding to spill on her dress. "Aish!" she cursed. "O-omo.." I flustered especially seeing who she was, It's YongHwa's ex. "It's all dirty.." she looked really angry. The stain wasn't really obvious since she was wearing a black dress. She glared at me. "What are you?" she looked at with a disgusted face. "I-I'm.." I don't know what to say because it feels like whatever I'm going to say will still anger her. "What's wrong?" a guy arrived who seemed like her manager. "This girl spilled all over my dress!" she complained. "Bwo?" he looked at her dress.

"It wasn't her fault." YongHwa came grabing my shoulder and pulled me towards his side. "Oppa... Y-you know her?" she asked. "Oh.." he said. I felt happy that he sided with me. Eotteoke my heart is fluttering.. "Who is she?" she asked. "You'll know her.." YongHwa said. What does he mean by that? "You're new girlfriend?" she asked. I was surprised to hear that >..< "The stain isn't obvious." but YongHwa ignored her. "aish, but It smells.." she tried to wipe with the napkin. "You smelled more when you got drunk last night." YongHwa said and made the girl halt wiping. She harshly placed the napkin on YongHwa's chest. She glared at him and left.

"A-are you ok?" I asked. "Why did you leave my side?!" YongHwa was upset. I felt good hearing those words, like a fool >,< "I-I wanted to see--" "Stop drooling over those celebrities!" he was really angry. Then, manager-nim arrived. "W-what happened?" he asked. "Nothing, let's leave.." YongHwa said and threw the napkin at manager-nim's chest.

"Yah.. it hasn't been over an hour! Why are we leaving now?" manager-nim and I followed YongHwa to the parking lot. "Oh? Where's my purse?" I looked at my empty hand. I gasped when I realized I left it at the buffet table. "I-I'll be right back!" I was about to leave but YongHwa grabbed my wrist. "Hyung, get her purse instead.." YongHwa said. "Oh.. arasseo!" manager-nim agreed.

My heart fluttered with his touch but then he slowly let go. I wish he would hold it much longer...

The atmosphere was very awkward.. "I'm really sorry.." I bowed my head. "I made you two fight.." I continued. "It must have hurt a lot.... Are you o--?" "Stop doing that." he raised his voice. "What?" I asked. "You act like you know my situation." I raised my head up and looked at him. He didn't even look at me. "I guess I do somehow.." I bowed my head again. "Wae? Are yout that great? How would you know what I'm feeling?" he glared at me. I frozed at his harsh words. I didn't expect him to answer like that. He seemed really nice back there at the studio.. He's just like this because his upset right? 

"Aish.. so annoying.." he closed his eyes and sighed. Those words were painful but I ignored it and tried to understand.. 

"Found it!" manager-nim arrived with my purse. "What's with this mood?" manager-nim noticed. "Eventhough this has been your first formal meeting.." manager-nim said. "It's nothing.." YongHwa said and unlocked the car. "Oh, JiEun-ssi, are you ok?" manager-nim patted my back. "I tried to understand you but you won't try to understand me.." I said. "Yah.. Jung YongHwa, what did you do this time?" manager-nim asked. "Wae? Do you know how it feels to lose someone you truly cared?" he shouted. "Yah.." manager-nim tried to calm him down. I bit my lower lip to hold by back my tears.

"I may or may not, but.. you still need to know that some people does care about you.." They went silent. Am I going too far? I took a step back realizing what I did so I left the place on my own. "JiEun-ssi!" manager-nim tried to stop me. "Hyung, let her.." YongHwa grabbed manager-nim's arms.

--

AFTER PARTY. I went home to JiYeon's house.

I was inside her room lying down on her bed. "Aish!!" I rolled my body around the bed. "Why do I feel like I'm going to regret again that I said those to my idol?!" my mind was a mess. "JiEun-ah! You are stupid! Pabo pabo pabooo!" I hit myself with a pillow. I took my only YongHwa album and stared at it.

I want to know why you are suffering so much like this. You must have gone through a lot to the point that you wanted to end you career.. I'm curious about everything... Did that past love really hurt you?

"Why were you so cold to me? I should understand that you were upset but.. something is telling me to hate you but I shouldn't!" I shouted at his picture. JiYeon-unnie entered the room. "Wah.. you're crazy now.. really crazy.." she chuckled with her toothbrush in . "Unnie.. What should I do? Should I just stop?" I asked. "Andwae!" she shouted and some of her mess dropped on my forehead. "Disgusting!" I shouted.

JiYeon-unnie washed and we both sat on her bed. "Yah, do you know how lucky you are right now? If you stop now, it's like you are throwing away a precious diamond!" she shouted. "But.. that diamond.. doesn't seem to like me.." I sighed. "I just want to continue to admire it quietly.. after all, it's too expensive" I chuckled. "Aish, you sound like you have already gone all the way with him! You are just starting!" she said and placed her arms around me. "Really?..." I sighed and kept thinking..

"But.. Unnie.. where were you last night?" I asked. "Huh?.. Oh! I-I was out.." she stuttered. "Ohhh.. you were with your boyfriend right?" I teased. "Huh boyfriend?! No way! I already have a boyfriend!" she shouted. "Huh? then who were you with? Why are you getting so worked up?" I asked. "A-aniyo.. just forget it.." she stuttered. "Ey, so suspicious.." I giggled.

---

"Eomma.." I called my mom before going to sleep. JiYeon-unnie was asleep and her snoring is very loud. "Wae? You have been calling quite a lot now.. Are you lonely?" she asked. "Aniyo.. I'm ok.." I smiled softly. "Eomma.. Ealier.." I hesitated to tell her about what I saw earlier. "Wae?" she asked. "Nevermind.. I just miss you.." I said.

----

The following day, at the Sky entertainment's building. I secretly followed YongHwa. I'm not allowed to enter this building but I managed >:) I won't give up! This is just the beginning. MISSION: Open YongHwa's door! hahaha.......

I felt bad about how I acted last night so.. I should apologize I guess? After all, he's still older than me, I shouldn't have talked back like that..

He entered a practice room. "Assa!" when he entered the room. I quickly placed a paper bag on the door knob. It contains two bottles of water. I knocked on the door and quickly left.

YongHwa's POV

Someone knocked on the door of the practice room. I went out to see who it was. When I opened the door, no one was around. I looked around but no one was around. Then, I noticed something on the door knob. I took the paper bag. I opened it and saw two bottles of water. "A new day for Jung Yong Hwa! Drink a lot of water! Fighting!" So cheesy..

-

When I was talking to my manager, some staff approached me gave me a box. "It's from your fan." the staff said and left. "What's that?" manager-nim asked. "I don't know.." I opened the box and it contained numerous guitar picks. There was also a note. "Incase you'll lose your guitar picks!" "Mwoya.. who gave this to you?" manager-nim chuckled. "My fan?"

Again, someone knocked on the door of my recording studio. I quickly opened the door. Someone was running through the hallway. "Who was that?" I asked myself and found a small paper bag on the door knob again. It contained, another bottle of water. "Take a break." Aish... who the heck is giving me these??

"Omo, I run out of water.. Ugh.. I'm thirsty.." I coughed. I knew someone was going to bring me a water. I stood behind the door and got myself ready to open the door knob. Then there, another knock on the door came. I quickly opened it. "AHA! I caught you!" I shouted and quickly placed my arms aorund the person's neck. The person shrieked. Her hair was all over my face. "Who are you?" I tried to stop her from leaving. "Don't!" she didn't want to me to see her face. "Aish!" I held both of her wrist to stop her from moving so much. I made her turn around but she lowered her head. "Who are you?" I bent down and looked at her face and gasped.

"What were you doing?" I asked her to come in the recording studio. She won't answer. "Lee Ji Eun-ssi.." I raised my voice. "I'm your sasaeng fan!" she declared. "Bwo?" I was out of words, sasaeng? tsch.. "I will follow every step you take!" she said. "Sasaeng fan?" I asked. "Oh.." she nodded. "If you want to be a sasaeng fan you should do better than that.." I chuckled. "You have experienced a sasaeng fan before?" she asked. "You don't need to know.." I said. "Huh?" she looked confused.

"Why?" I asked leaving her hanging. "What?" she asked. "Even after how I acted cold to you. Are you still my fan?" I asked. "So you didn't really meant it?" she looked at me brightly. "Meant what?" I asked. "You were really not a cold person.." she said. "Who knows.. I could maybe be the coldest person you'll ever meet.." I chuckled. 

"Can I hear what you were making right now?" she asked out of the blue. "Andwae. You should leave and stop bothering me." I stood up and opened the door. She just looked at the open the door. "Arasseo.. if you want to hear it that bad. Go to my concert." I said. "Concert?! You have a concert?" she asked eagerly. "Aniyo.. but if I'll be able to make an album by this month, I might have one.." I said. "That's why, you should leave now... aish... so I could make my songs." I pushed her towards the door. 

"Aigoo, this smell.. Did you even wash your hair?" I moved away from her. "NE?! Is it obvious?" she gasped. Wah.. is she serious? "Yup, just leave." I immediately closed the door. I looked at her through the small window. She was sniffing her hair and that unconsciously made me smirk..

JiEun's POV

"Aish, so embarassing!" I cursed at myself while I smelled my hair. "Aigooo! Such a bad smell.." I said. I looked back at the closed door and sighed. I haven't said sorry though. Suddenly, the door opened again and YongHwa was standing right in front of me. "A-about.." he started. I raised my eyebrows and anticipated his words. "I-I'm sorry.. about yesterday.." he said, "Ah!-" I wanted to reply but he immediately closed the door.

-----

When I got out of the building, I received a call from MinYoung-unnie. "JiEun-ssi! Is that you?" I answered the call. "What do you mean?" I asked. "I can see you from the 4th floor." she said. "Ah ne!" I looked up and saw MinYoung-unnie waving at me by the balcony. 

We met up after that call. "What is it unnie?" I asked. "About your dorm, you can go back there now." she said. "Your group have been assigned to a room already. I was supposed to give the key to your leader but since it's a Sunday I can't bother any of you so.. I'm glad we met~" MinYoung-unnie took out the key from her pocket. "You can go there anytime you want." she said and pat my head. "K-kamsahamnida!" I bowed to her and she offered me the key. I took it gratefully. "Do your best ok?" she smiled. Yeah, I'm still a trainee so I really should do my best XD "Ne!" I replied in enthusiasm.

YongHwa's POV

After ridiciously writing songs that weren't good. When I saw the note JiEun gave me, "Take a break." Yeah.. I should take a break.

I went out to get some fresh air. I was outside the company building. "Waah, I feel better like this.." I said to myself. When some students passed by I quickly hid my face with my jacket. "Yah, did you hear? YongHwa's ex is currently working as an mc!" they were murmuring. How did they know that? "Ha? Where'd you heard that?" I asked. "The girl agreed to the rumor last night! She even said that YongHwa was really bad to her!" Last night?

I quickly searched for my phone and searched for some news about yesterday's party.

"[BREAKING] Yoon Jin Hee, rookie MC, confirms past relationship with Superstar Jung Yong Hwa."

---

I quickly went to search for Jimin at her entertainment. I found her and showed her the article. "Yah, What's this?!" I shouted at her. "Wae? Do you feel bad that your image will be ruined because I had a relationship with you?" she crossed her legs. "How-How could you do this to me?" I was so upset. "They kept asking me about it.. I just told them the truth.." she refused to make eye contact. "Bwo?.. told them the truth? or you only said that just to get people to pay attention to you?!" I exclaimed. "Who knows.." she said and pulls her hair behind her ears. "Yoon Jin Hee.. you are really a witch. I can't believe I fell over heels for you.." I resent her so much right now. I angrily walked my way to the door but, "That girl.." Jimin spoke so I paused from walking. "I know you brought her thinking that it'll stir up my jealousy." she said. "Bwo?" I turned around. 

JiEun's POV

The others didn't want to move to the dorm yet.. I can't blame them. I'm the only one who doesn't have a permanent room to stay at..

I arrived at the dormitory. I wonder if those girls will continue to bully me.

I walked through the hallway. The girls looked at me with a disgusted look. "You're back.." one of them stood infront of me. "A-annyeonghaseyo.." I bowed. "What room are you in?" they asked. "408.." I replied. "Ok then.. see you later." she passed by me and purposely hit my shoulder. Wah.. How can somebody be so rude?

I am now in my dormitory room, there were 2 small bedrooms. One was for two people and another one is for just one person. I immediately guessed where my room is -.-

I entered my room the one for two people. I'll stay here with Shanny soon enough >..< It's like having a sleepover everyday! I lied down on the bed and sighed. Eomma.. I really made it here.. Soon enough I will be able to make you and father proud..

I started unpacking my stuffs. When I was partly done organzing my stuffs, I received a message from JiYeon-unnie. "JiEun-ah, I'll go meet the landlady today regarding the apartment. Just call me if you want to come with me." apartment. AH! right! YongHwa's apartment.. He still doesn't know that I'm suppose to be the tenant there. hi hi hi..

--

Before meeting with the landlady, I decided to visit YongHwa's apartment. I clicked the doorbell but no one was answering. I wonder if he is still at the recording studio. I shouldn't be bothering him so much ugh, I look so desperate.. 

I decided to leave. I clicked the elevator button and after a few seconds it opened. "Heol!" someone exclaimed from the inside. I raised my head up and saw YongHwa. "N-neo! H-how did you find my house?!" he freaked out and pointed his fingers at me. I gasped and immediately made some excuses, "I-I told you! I'm a sasaeng fan!" He looked at me suspiciously and passed by me, exiting the elevator.

He was walking weirdly towards the door of his apartment. I followed him when I realized he was drunk. He covered himself while unlocking the door with his passcode. "Don't worry, I won't go as far as hacking your passcode.." I said. "Ey! You smell! Did you drink?" I asked when I got closer to him. "Yeah.. what are you gonna do about it huh?" He raised his chin to me. He is really drunk. He opened the door but I closed it to stop him from going in. "I-I have something to tell you!" I raised my voice unconsciously.

He sighed out of annoyance. "What now?" he asked. "I.. I'm suppose to live in this apartment." I chuckled. "Bwo? You also bought this apartment? waaah.." he won't even remember I said this to him. "I'm suppose to be the tenant here when you decided to leave.." I explained. He nodded showing that he was listening then suddenly spaced out..

"JiEun-ssi, if I tell you to runaway with me, would you?" he asked out of the blue. "Eh?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I want to go away, as far as I could. I'm hurting inside here.." he said and hit his chest with his fist. "It hurts so much I could die!" his eyes were teary. With his face looking like that, my heart also throbbed. Slowly, some fragments of my bad past was flashbacking in my head.

"Appa! Don't go!"

"JiEun-ah, appa loves you~"

"You can't leave me!"

I erased those thoughts and suddenly felt the urge to hug YongHwa. "I-it's ok.. You can cry.." I said. 

---

DongGun's POV

I arrived at YongHwa's apartment building after receiving his drunken call. I waited outside and rested my back on my car.

A taxi parked at the back of my car and a girl got off the taxi. She walked straight and our eyes made contact. I gasped when I recognized the face. "N-neo!" she pointed her fingers at me. I got flustered and I quickly went inside my car. "Get out of there!" she shouted. I quickly texted JiEun that I have arrived. "YAH! You ert!" she banged at my window.

"AISH!" I cursed and quickly got out of the car. "Aish! You shouldn't throw tantrums at my car!" I complained. "What happend that night oh?!" she slapped my shoulders. "Tell me! Did something happened?!" she shouted. "AISH! I don't know either! Something could have happen but it's also possible that nothing happened!" I nagged. "Yah! You are the guy here!" she slapped me again. "How could you take advantage of me? and you call yourself a man?!" she shouted and made other people stare at us. "A-arasseo! I-I remember some.." I gave in. When I saw JiEun and YongHwa walk towards the exit I quickly drag her away.

"Y-yah! Let go!" she kept on shouting. "SHH!" I tried to make her quiet. "I will tell you soon but not now!" I said. "Aish! You ert!" she was about to slap me but I dodged it. "AISH! You stupid jerk!" she shouted at me and I quickly ran.

---

JiEun's POV

He called his manager to drive for us. We went to an open park. Manager-nim made him wear a face mask so people won't recognize him. "AAAAAAAAAISSHHH!!" he shouted at the wind. "Why is this happening?!!"

"Wah, he's completely gone crazy." manager-nim sighed. "This is why idol's shouldn't date!" Manager-nim crossed his arms. "Manager-nim, What was he like in the past?" I asked. "YongHwa? He is such a bright kid just like how he is right now, like a drunk person. He can talk to anyone because he has such a good sense of humor." manager-nim chuckled at his memories. "He never cried like this before. He is a positive dude." he continued. "Was Jimin such a big influence on him?" I continued on asking questions. "Ye, but that wasn't solely the reason he is like this.." manager-nim lowered his head. "I can't forgive myself.." he murmured. "He became cold because of that reason." he continued.

"Hyuuung! I have five fingers! HAHAHA!" YongHwa showed us his open hand. "Aigoo, you are crazy!" manager-nim locked YongHwa's head around his arms. "Hyuuung that hurts!" he shouted.

What other reason is there? What kind of situation turned him like this? Was it similar to what happened to me? or worse?

I'm slowly building up a passion of wanting to make him live like how he was before.. I wonder how it is meet someone like him when he was still unbroken..

"JiEun-ah!" he called me informally. I was surprised to hear that and quickly replied, "NE!" he removed his mask and he was smiling at me like a fool. "You'll help right?" he chuckled and went near me. "Oh! I'll do everything I can!" I smiled back. "I'm sick of this." he cracked voice in the middle then he rested his head on my shoulders.

I don't hate him. I'm glad I decided not to hate him..

------------------

THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING!!! JiEun has finally started to know YongHwa.. :3

up next: 

Volume 3: Chapter 2

Together

함께, 우리