[Dujun]

“Oppa, what should we name our baby?” she asked.

Her hand firmly in mine.

“Hmm…let me think.”

“Oppa, what about…Hei-Ran? What do you think?”

“Hei-ran? You mean like…orchid?”

“Yup.”

“It sounds classic. I like it.” I said.

“Or maybe…Haru. I prefer Haru more, honestly.” she said.

“Haru? It’s cute!”

“How about…Bomi? Yoon Bomi? How does it sounds?”

I turned to her.

“Jagi-ya, are you hoping we have a daughter maybe?” I asked.

“Waeyo, oppa?”

“You keep suggesting girl’s name.”

She just realized she did. Her cheeky grinned was too cute.

“Ani. I’m not really care about the gender. A boy or a girl. I’ll love them as much equally.” She clarified.

“How about you, oppa? Do you want a daughter or a son?”

Walking hand in hand strolling along Han River under the shining moonlight, I couldn’t ask for more. I couldn’t hide my wide smile either.

“If I have a son, we could play soccer together. That’ll be fun. If I have a daughter, I bet I’ll have the cutest girl. She’ll be pretty, just like her mom.” I answered her.

I pulled her hand in mine and then took them into my thick wool coat’s pocket. She must be cold.  The weather’s getting cold. Winter is on its way.

“I like Haneul. Whether it’s a boy or a girl, I think it would be perfect. What do you think, jagi-ya?”

“Haneul? Haneul… Yoon Haneul. It sound good, oppa.” she said half-heartedly.

She didn’t totally agree with me. I knew it when I saw her slight pout. _________-ah, you’re too cute for me to handle. I giggled.

“Jagi-ya…” I said.

“Jagi-ya, let’s pick Haru if it’s a girl, and Haneul if it’s a boy. Agree? Okay?”

“Agreed~~!”

She nodded, beaming brightly to me with happiness. I pinched her cute nose playfully.

“Aigoo…look at you. You gonna be someone’s mama soon, yet you’re still so childish! Aigoo…what should I do with you, hmm?” I asked.

“Just…love me, oppa. That’s all.” She said.

 

[You]

 Dujun loosen his hold on your hand in his pocket and stretched out his arms around your shoulder, pulling you to him. He kissed your head from your side. You pulled out your hand from his pocket and wrapped them around his waist. You both continued walking, leisurely taking all the time in the world basking in each other’s embrace.

“Eomma called me today. She kept telling me to take good care of you.” He muttered.

“‘Dujun-ah, did ________-ah eat yet? Make sure she eat properly.’; ‘Dujun-ah, did you buy the organic herbs drinks that I’ve told you to, for _______-ah? Did she drinks them?’; ‘Doo-ah, go wash your laundry. Help _________-ah at home. Don’t be lazy!’”

Dujun impersonate his mother’s voice with his hand mimicking a phone at his ear.

You couldn’t help but laugh. He was so funny.

“Ah, really. I’m jealous. Eomma only cares about you now! Huh!” He jokingly pulled a long face.

“Really, oppa? Hahahahaha~! Just like I thought, eomeonim jjang!” you showed your thumbs up to him.

“Aish…jjinja. She even told me to buy a softer bed for you!” he said.

“Ahahahaha!” you laughed harder.

“Ah, I miss eomma…” he muttered.

“I miss eomeonim, too… and also abeonim.”

“Let’s go see them this weekend, shall we?”

“Yes! Let’s go, oppa! Yay!”

Dujun smiled, before slowly leaned down and gave you a peck on your lips.

He saw an empty bench and took you there. You both sat facing the flickering reflection surface of the water, gazing straight across the river. You rested your head on his shoulder while wrapping your arms warmly around his.

“________-ah…” his fingers firmly entwined with yours. 

“Uri…”

“Hmm?”

“Uri…”

Dujun didn’t finished his sentence. He took a deep breath.

“Promise me we’ll be together for a long, long time, ________-ah…” he said.

You lifted your head and stared at his face. You hand reached out for his cheek and pulled his face, making him look at you.

“We’ll be together forever, oppa.” You said.

Cupping your face with one hand, he leaned over and gave you a kiss. You swear you could feel his ultimate love flowing through his lips, into every fiber of your being.

 

“Oppa!!”

 

 

Dujun can’t see you in the darkness.

He jolted up in shock. His body trembled.

 

“________-ah? _________-ah?!”

He looked around but you weren’t there beside him.

 

“Dujun. What’s wrong?” Gikwang asked.

Dujun was still confused. He can’t stop blinking. The flashing lights from other cars on the highways hurt his eyes.

I heard her voice just now. Where is she?

Pulling himself together, he realized he was in the van with the members.

“Dujun, wae? What’s wrong?” Junhyung repeated similar question to him from behind.

“Where are we?” he said under his breath.

“On our way back to Seoul. Why?”

“Am I asleep? How long have I been asleep?”

“It’s about… an hour now. You fell asleep soon after we left Daejeon.”

“__________-ah…” he mumbled.

Junhyung saw a glimpse of Dujun’s restless face from behind. It makes him uneasy. He patted Dujun’s shoulder.

“Dujun-ah, are you okay?”

“__________-ah…” Dujun muttered again.

I heard her shout.

He clutched to Gikwang’s arm next to him tight, gripping to reality.

“Dujun, you’re scaring me. Are you okay? _________-ah? She’s not here.” Gikwang said.

His sense kicking in. He took his phone out and impulsively dialed your number. The tone beeping but no answers from you.

“_________-ah, pick up. Pick up your phone, please…” he mumbled.

He dialed again. His leg fidgeting up and down. He was restless, rubbing his knee and his thigh up and down. He rubbed his face, anxiously waiting for you to answer. His phone was still plastered at his ear, calling again and again.

“Jebal, __________-ah…”

“Yah, Dujun. What’s wrong?” Now Yoseob asked seeing the confusing situation.

Junhyung, Gikwang and Yoseob glanced at each other, puzzled with Dujun’s action.

 

Am I dreaming?

I swear I could hear ________-ah voice, and she doesn’t sound good.

 

“Hyung, could you drop me off at my apartment first?”

He asked to Yongun hyung whose driving the van.

“Why? Aren’t you gonna get your car at Cube first?”

Yongun glanced at him through the rear-view mirror.

“Hyung, please…”

“O-Okay…”

 

------------

 

“Noona, are you with ________-ah?”

“Ani. I’m at home. Why?”

“Noona, ________-ah went straight home with you today, right?” he asked.

“Dujun-ah…today--” Yeo Jin hesitated to answer his question.

“She supposed to be at home by now. She’s not here. I’m wondering did she tell you if she’s going somewhere. I’m worried, noona.”

Dujun cut her with his anxious voice.

“M-Mwo?? What do you mean by she’s not there right now?” Yeo Jin asked.

“__________-ah not at home right now.” He said.

Yeo Jin gaped. You should be home by now. You finished your work as usual, at six. She looked at her watch. It’s 10 o’clock in the evening, And Dujun said you weren’t home?

“Noona, did she told you where she’s going?”

“No, no. She didn’t tell me anything. Are you sure she’s not home? Where are you right now Dujun-ah?”

“I’m at home, noona. Aish. That’s why I said she’s not home. I just came back from Daejon and I can’t find her nor reached her phone.”

Yeo Jin become nervous and couldn’t get her thinking straight. Guilty hit her.

“Okay, okay, Dujun-ah. I’m sorry…” she said.

“Maybe she’s going out to the mart, or just getting some fresh air. She’ll be back soon, Dujun-ah.”

“Why should she go out at this hour, noona? Why she didn’t answer her phone? I’m not feel good, noona…”

Dujun stomped his feet on the floor to ease his uneasiness.

“Dujun-ah…”

“Noona, I should go out look for her. I’ll call you later. Please, call me if you heard anything from her, ne?”

“Arasso. Be careful, Doo-ah…”

“Ne, noona. Bye.”

 

******

 

“Isn’t it too early for this?”

“We lost that two ing precious week when Dujun was away. That busybody girl clinging around her all the time since then. Today she was finally alone. Why should I waste the golden chance?”

“So, what are you gonna do to her now?”

“That’s my concern. I could do anything that I want to her. Remember our deal.”

“I remember. She’s yours. Dujun is mine…”

Ji Hyun smirked.

“…and we all together in this.” she said.

Chansung nodded. His sharp gaze fall on Ji Hyun and Lee Joon.

“You’re crazy.” She said.

“Yes I am. Wae?” he grinned.

“I like it.”

She gave him her wicked, congratulatory smile. Finally you’re in their hands. She’s eager to witness Dujun break into pieces. How can he left her without paying the price?

“Oppa, how long will we keep her?”

Lee Joon chuckled.

“It’s not on me to decide. She’s Chansung trophy. Ask him.”  He glanced at Chansung before sipping on his drink. He then shook his head according to the loud rhythm in the club. Ji hYun turned to Chansung.

“When will you release her?” she asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe…I’m not going to.”

Ji Hyun was shocked by Chansung’s answer.

“W-What? What do you mean by that?” she asked.

“Like I said earlier, Ji Hyun-sshi…” he said cynically. He drank his glass off and slammed it onto the glass table.

“I’m crazy.”

This guy gave Ji Hyun eerie chill creeping up her spine. 

 

******

 

Your whole body hurts. Feels like thousands of needles pierced through your entire being. You couldn’t move your right foot. When you tried to figure out why, you saw your right ankle swollen like a balloon. You couldn’t get out of the bed either. Your right hand was handcuffed to the bed’s frame, same goes with your left leg. You struggled to lose your hand from the handcuff but to no avail. From the small, dark room you could see a wall clock in distance. Putting your full focus and further adapting your sight in the dark, you saw the clock displayed 3 o’clock. By the dark nature from the outside of the window, you could tell it was 3 o’clock in the morning. You looked around but couldn’t spot your phone.

You heard noises coming from outside. Then someone knock the door repetitively. You heard a man’s laughed and growled. It’s Chansung. He opened the door and even by a glace, you could see he was drunk.

“Aigoo… I forgot you couldn’t get out of bed. It’s nice if you could opened the door for me, _________-ah. Like old times. You’ll wait for me at the door, every day, and every night. Hiks!”

Chansung leaned at the bedside. His breath and hiccup disgust you. His smell wrecked of beer. You shoved his hands away when he starts caressing your face.

“Don’t touch me!”

It angered him. He grabbed your hand and forcefully kissed you. He jumped over your body, trapping you between his knees, before kissing you again.

“No! Go away!”

At the moment you felt your hand come loose from his grip, you slapped him on the face.

“!”

His sudden slap was so hard you could hear your head ringing.

“I miss you, ___________-ah…” he said. His kiss trailed from the crook of your neck towards your entire face.  

“No! Get away from me!” you screamed.

You tried to push his body away with all you might but Chansung was heavier when he’s drunk. He gripped and locked your free hand on your head. He became more aggressive when you struggled under him, creating abrasions which turning him on.

“No! No, Chansung, no! Go away! Jebal!!”

Chansung was so drown in lust he couldn’t hear you. He trailed his kiss all over your body. In the darkness you saw him unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants off. He then removed his shirts, leaving him totally . When he tried to remove your pants, you manage to bring your punch straight to his head.

“Arrghh!” Chansung screamed in pain. His expression darken.

He rose up and slap you mercilessly.

“You dare punched me?! Take this, !”

Pak! Pak! Pak!

You could only let out a small moan from his punches.

You face felt numb. You could taste blood.

Chansung roughly biting and your ear and neck while his hands going down into your pants. His grip on your wrist was so strong your hand felt numb.

“Chansung-ah…please. I’ll do whatever that you want. Please, Chansung…stop.”

You tried to bargain with him.

He stopped. Your plan worked.

 

“This is what I want.”

He whispered with his heavy breath at your ear.

 

You were so wrong.

 

Chansung continued his rough molest on you. He’s biting, , and squeezing your body violently. His lips crashed against yours with force. With his strong hand he ripped your shirt off, revealing your chest and bulging stomach.

Chansung froze for a moment. He caressed your stomach, looking straight into your eyes. He didn’t notice your growing baby bump before.

“You…pregnant?”

Silent.

“Answer me!”

He pulled your hair. You shrieked in pain.

“Yes, Chansung. I’m pregnant. Jebal. Let me go…”

He look stunned. After a while, he begin to touch your bump softly, circling his finger around your belly button.  

“You look y, _________-ah.”

“Jebal, Chansung. Please… Let-let me go… please…” You starts whining.

“I never a pregnant woman before. Not with his cute bump. I wonder how it will ‘taste’. I bet it’s ‘delicious’.”

“No! No! You’re crazy!! ”

Your face wet with tears.

He leaned down and kissed your stomach. He them around in circles. It’s disgusting.

Don’t harm my baby. Please.

In no time he pulled your pants down along with your underwear.

“No, no! Stop!! Stop! Please!”

You could feel his junior rubbed between your legs, near your womanhood. You tried to turn your body sideways, squirming, using your free leg as a shield to not let him go further. Chansung ruthlessly kick your swollen ankle and you swear, you never felt pain like this before. You’re too preoccupied dealing with the agonizing pain you couldn’t fight him when he tore your legs open. He forced himself into you.

A searing pain ripped through.

The pain was so excruciating your mouth opened to scream, but no sound came out. You sobs in silent.

 

Oppa, help me…

Oppa, please…

 

You closed your eyes shut but tears keep flowing. 

“No… please…it hurts…” you muttered in sobs.

 

This is not happening.

Oppa, help me please…

“Dujun…”

 

Chansung snapped out of his sanity when he heard the name.

“No! Chansung! Chansung! Not Dujun!!”

He slapped you repeatedly while still keeping his move. He was totally losing his mind. His final blow made you chocked with blood.

Chansung slamming you like a monster and you felt utterly sick at every friction of his flesh in you. You desperately tried to resist him with every energy that’s left only to feel disappointed and sank even deeper in humiliation. You struggled so much that your wrist was cut by the sharp edges of the handcuff, and bleed. Chansung pounding on you senseless, making your body trembled and shuddered in rhythm with his. His moans became louder as he engulfed himself in your wet heat.

Chansung lost his mind. His strong hand squeezing you waist hard even your stomach hurt from the pressure.

“Stop… stop please. It hurts! No! Stop! Jebal…stop…”

You was desperate. Tears stained your cheeks, smearing your face.

“!”

He arched his back and grunted in pleasure as he released himself inside you. He then pulled out and crashed on you.

 

You heart shattered and disappeared.

 

Your vision blurred. Your head hurt. You couldn’t breathe properly. You couldn’t feel your whole body except your messy heartbeat.  

 

Just kill me now already.

 

******

 

“Did you found her?”

“No, hyung…” Dongwoon said.

“Did you, Hyunseung-ah? Is she there?”

Hyunseung shook his head. He looked down, avoiding Dujun’s eyes.

“Noona, did she called?”

“No, Dujun. I still have nothing from her.”

“Junhyung-ah, did you see her anywhere? At the park? At the store?”

“No, Dujun. I didn’t see her anywhere…”

Dujun just came back to the apartment after looking for you all night and all day long. They had gathered in your home after a long day searching. He had no choice but to ask the others for help this morning. They were totally shocked by the news. They split out to different areas and destinations but you were nowhere to be found. Yeo Jin couldn’t stop crying throughout her way looking for you. She felt extremely guilty to let you went home alone. Dujun couldn’t even lodge a police report before 24 hours.

 

It means he hasn’t had any sleep nearly 24 hours now.

His eyes red. His face pale. His hair messy. He hasn’t changed his clothes since yesterday. He was not Yoon Dujun. He’s a ghost.

 

Dujun grabbed his car keys back and headed to the door.

“Dujun-ah, where are you going?!” Yoseob shrieked.

He turned back and stared at him.

“I can’t sit down while my wife is missing.”

“Dujun-ah…” Yeo Jin ran to him. She quickly grabbed his hands.

“Dujun-ah, rest for a while, ne? Gikwang-ah and Youngun still out there searching. Ji Sung too. Wait until they came back, okay?”

He was too tired already. It will be too dangerous for him to drive.

“No, noona. I can’t. I have to find her.”

His tears fell.

“Yes, we have to find her. Let’s find her after we eat, okay? You haven’t eat anything since yesterday.”

Dujun stood still staring at the door. Yeo Jin glanced and signaling for Junhyung, his trusted friend to help her persuade him. The other members didn’t said anything. They’re tired and still in the state of shock.  

“Dujun-ah… let’s eat.”

Junhyung practically dragged Dujun to the dining table. He stared blankly to the food in front of him. Junhyung gave him the spoon and shove the warm soup to him.

“Did she eat? She have to eat properly, you know.”

Junhyung nodded.

“You should too. Now eat, Dujun-ah.”

 

A sound of the door opened startled them. Dujun ran to the front in a flash and saw Ji Sung went inside.

“Hyung! Hyung, did you find her?”

Ji Sung, Yeo Jin’s fiancé, stared at his worried dongsaeng.

“Ani, Dujun-ah. I didn’t.” He shook his head.

Dujun’s hopeful face vanished in split second.

“We’ll find her, Dujun-ah. We’ll find her. Be strong.”

 

Dujun’s phone suddenly beeping. A new message just came in. He opened the message and gaped in horror looking at the picture of your arm with your bleeding wrist in handcuff. He knew immediately it was you from the ring on the finger.

 

Your wedding ring.

 

“Help me, hyung. Help me. Help me….”

Dujun couldn’t control his body and feeling. He dropped the phone. He was clutching to Ji Sung arms begging for his help before he leaned backwards against the wall in anguish. He grabbed his hair. He looked at the others. He tried to walk over to them but his leg gave out. He stumbled down to the floor.

 

“No. No!! you-ah!!

He screamed his heart out. 

Dujun saw Hyunseung, Dongwoon and Yoseob ran to him.

Then nothing.

 

 

*revised