“Oppa! The performance was so great! Oppa jjang!!””

“Really? Gomawoyo! Thank you for coming today, watching us, cheering for us.” Junhyung said to his fans politely.

“We’ll always cheering for you, oppa. Always! Oppa, saranghae!”

“I love you too! Go back safely, okay? Promise?” Dongwoon said.

“Promise! Oppa, take a good rest back home will ya?”

“Of course!” Yoseob said.

“I will. Good night!” Gikwang replied.

“Go home safely and take a good rest!” Dujun shouted back at them from the distance with a bright smile.

Junhyung looked at him.

“Thank you for coming!” He threw flying kisses to the crowd.

“Kyaa!! Oppa!” They shrieked happily.

“Sooo~~ Beast! Gamsahapnida!”

Six of them bowed and waved final goodbye to their fans. They walked down the stage and disappeared through the back. Youngun grabed Dujun as soon as he saw him.

“Dujun, let’s go.”

“Alright hyung. Did you get all of my stuff?”

“Yes. We have to hurry now Dujun.”

“Arasso.”

Dujun quickly returned his microphone and his ear monitor to the backstage staff.

“Guys, I’ll go first. See you later.”

“Yes, hyung. Take care.” Dongwoon send his leader with a brotherly hug.

“Come on, Dujun-ah!” Youngun called him from the end of the hallway.

Dujun half-running to his manager. Two of his stylist noona followed him close. They’re rushing to his next schedule venue. Youngun fetched them at the door with the big, black-tinted window van and drove them straight to Yeouido. In the van, one of the noona passed Dujun the queue sheet of the show and a stapled bunch of dialogue script.

“Hyung, what time we’ll finish today?”

“Around midnight. If the recording goes smoothly, maybe earlier.” he said.

Dujun nodded, then focusing on the script.

 

He smiled. He laughed. He did his outdated impersonations that Yoseob and Gikwang claimed not funny anymore, but the audience still laughed at it. He answered the questions calmly, and sometimes flustered when the MC kick him off guard on certain issue. They have fun playing games with other guests.  At one point, Ji Hyun was paired with him. He kept his poker face and played along with her.

Youngun watched from afar.

 

“Having fun today?” Ji Hyun approached Dujun from behind.

He turned around, facing her.

“Yes. Personally, I’ve always like this show.”

“Let’s go have a drink together.”

“No thanks. I have to go straight home. Maybe next time.”

“Oh come on. The whole production team will be there too. They asked me to invite you along.”

“I really can’t, Ji Hyun. I’m sorry.”

“Dujun-sshi.” Her voice stern, forcing him.

“Ji Hyun-sshi.” He copied her tone.

Their gaze met. Deep. Ji Hyun, like always, was ready for verbal fight, but Dujun lowered his stare and let out a small sigh.

“I really can’t. I’m sorry. Please tell them I’m sorry I couldn’t join tonight. I have to go.”

Dujun leaned closer and gave a small peck on her cheek.

“Goodbye. Have fun tonight.” He said.

“Hyung, come on. Let’s go home.”

Youngun stood only a couple of steps away from him. He could clearly see what Dujun did just now.

“O-okay. Let’s head home.” Youngun stuttered.

After thanking the production team and the staff, they left the studio earlier than the others.

Ji Hyun couldn’t move. If she could, she would command her heart to stop beating for a moment because she must stop the warm, sweet emotion from spreading though her entire veins, and it was not supposed to be that way.

 

Youngun sent Dujun to the dorm after he dropped their stylists back to Cube. Junhyung opened the door for them. They walked inside together.

“Dujun-ah, you eat yet?” he asked.

“No, he doesn’t. You have something to eat?” Youngun replied Junhyung instead.

He nodded.

“Seobie had prepared something for him.”

Dujun ignored them and disappeared into his room.

“Take a bath, Dujun.” Youngun said, half-shout. Youngun headed to the living room.

“Hyung, any news yet?” Yoseob joined them.

“No, there isn’t any. I’m getting really worried right now.”

“I know...” Yoseob said. He sighed.

“I hope nothing happen to _________-ah. I hope nothing happen to him too.”

“What do you mean, hyung?” Hyunseung intervened.

“Earlier, Ji Hyun was there at the recording. She asked him to join the production’s staff along with her for a drink. He refused. We, you all know Ji Hyun. She didn’t like to be rejected.”

They shook their heads in sync.

“I was ready to pull him back if she starts a fight. Then miracle happen. Dujun gave in and kissed her cheek goodbye.”

“Really?! What‘s gotten into him? He hate that so much!!” Junhyung shrieked.

“Shh! Slow down, Junhyung-ah.” Yoseob said.

“That’s what worried me most.” Youngun leaned back on the couch. He looked away at nothing.

 

“Maybe…” Hyunseung said after a long silence.

“Maybe, he was too worried with __________-ah he don’t give a damn about his hatred anymore.”

 

------

 

“Dujun, let’s eat.” Hyunseung appeared in the room when Dujun getting ready.

“No thanks. I have to go.”

“Go where?”

He gave Hyunseung his look. ‘The’ look.

“Fine. But eat first, Doo. Seobie prepared everything for you already.”

“Later, Seung. I have to go.” He walked passed him.

“Dujun.” Hyunseung grabbed Dujun’s arm. He looked at him.

“Eat.” He tighten his grip, emphasizing his demand.

Dujun couldn’t refuse Hyunseung when he’s serious like this.

“Arasso.”

Hyunseung followed Dujun to the kitchen. Yoseob and Junhyung already waiting for them at the table. Youngun hyung has left.

“Where’s Gikwang and Woonie?”

“They’re out.” Junhyung said.

“Where are they going at this hour? It’s late! What if something happen? I should call them.”

“Let them be. They’re not kids.” Junhyung said.

“But still--”

“Dujun, sit.” Yoseob commanded.

Dujun sat beside him. Yoseob pick up the spoon and put them in Dujun’s hand.

“Finish all of these. I’ll do the dishes later.”

“Aish. These are too much for me Yoseob-ah.”

“Nope. It’s your usual potion. Finish them all.”

“And you three will stay here, watching me eat?”

“Yes.” Junhyung said.

“I’m not a kid, you know.” He smirked, annoyed.

“Then stop being stubborn like one.” Junhyung said.

Strike one. Ding ding ding! Junhyung one, Dujun zero.

“If you were in my shoes Junhyung, can you eat?”

“It doesn’t matter if I can’t. What matters is that I mustn’t. I musn’t not eat. I must not shaking while driving. I must have enough energy to press the brake anytime needed. I mustn’t put the safety of others and myself at risk.”

Dujun recalled yesterday’s incident. Luckily Gikwang was with him in the car. If not, he might cause a big accident at the crossroad and be the headlines on today’s newspaper.

Strike two. Ding ding ding! Junhyung two, Dujun zero.

“I’m wasting my time here! My wife is missing out there for God sake!!” Dujun slammed the spoon on the table.

Junhyung kept his calm face and said,

“Should we go on with this, wasting your time here in the kitchen than outside searching for her, because I swear to you I will not let you out of the door even if it kills me before you eat something -- or you may perhaps just eat quietly, finish all these and have good enough energy to bring her back safely?”

Strike three. Ding ding ding! Junhyung three, Dujun zero.

Junhyung win.

 

******

 

“How is she doing?” Ji Hyun asked.

“She’s fine.”

“Fine? What is your standard of being ‘fine’?”

“That she is still breathing.”

“Did she eat yet? It’s been like what -- almost 3 days since you got her here?”

“I gave her food and water. But she won’t eat.”

“And you just let her? Force her or something. Make her eat. Do you really gonna let her starve to death? Are you crazy?”

“You know I am crazy.”

Chansung replied half-heartedly. He keep browsing the magazine, paying no attention to Ji Jyun.

“Chansung. I’m serious.”

“Aish…” Chansung getting irritated by Ji Hyun’s nag.

“So what do you want me to do? Spoon-fed her? She’s not a baby!” he shrieked.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“___________-ah. ____________. Wake up, dear…”

You saw Chansung sat beside you. He smiled.

“Wake up __________-ah. I’ve bought some food for you.”

You looked at a plastic bag in his hand. There’s a kimbap wrapped in aluminum foil, a triangle kimbap and two bottles of mineral water.

“I don’t know what to get for you. I guess these will be enough for now. I’ll buy you what you want later.”

You realized your hand was not handcuffed, but your foot are. Slowly you raised your body up, sitting. The swell on your right foot was nicely bandaged. You could still feel the stinging pain when you tried to move.

“Don’t move too much. It’ll get worse.”

You haven’t speak a word to him after that night. You head felt heavy. Your body sore.

“Eat. You must be hungry.”

Chansung gave you the plastic bag. You took the bag and opened one mineral water bottle. You gulped it down in one go.

“Slowly, ________-ah.”

He put his palm to your forehead. You quickly dodged his hand away with your arms. He leaned over anyway and feel your forehead for a long second.

“You’re still warm. But your fever down. That’s a relief. You’ll get better.”

“Better? You believe I’ll get better?!”

 You couldn’t decide the tears that starts to wet your eyes was from the desperation, the anger, the fear or the total disgust that he had given you.

“Don’t start, ___________.”

“You’ve started all of this.”

“You leave me with no choice.”

“We always have a choice.” You said.

“Like when you choose to leave me.”

Chansung looked away.

“What have I done to you, Chansung? What did I did so wrong that you treated me like this?”

Silence.

“It’s not you…” he said softly.

You didn’t expect that answer.

“W-what? What did you say?”

“Finished them up. I’ll buy another--”

“Yah! Hwang Chansung!”

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“You must make her eat. I don’t want to be responsible for a dead body! That was not the plan!”

Ji Hyun freaked out. Honestly, she was a bit nervous about how things has turned out. She never expect Chansung will be this extreme in his action. What worry her more is that Lee Joon accepting it all, like he was following Chansung’s lead instead of being the mastermind initially. Ji Hyun could sense Lee Joon felt agitated, too. He never thought Chansung will be this serious. They never asked about Chansung’s history and the driven factor for his revenge. They both thought it was only about Dujun punched him on the face that one night. It was all about pure vengeance to Dujun.

As time passed, Ji Hyun could sense there was another dark reason why Chansung was so intense into this.

Unfortunately, they couldn’t back down anymore. Chansung is not a person they should messing off with. They made the pact together, they’re in this together.

 

 

“Feed her, Chansung. Things get worse if she stays like that!”

“You go feed her. She won’t listen to me. She’s really getting on my nerves. I could kill her if I not control myself. I don’t have the patience.”

Chansung grunted.

“You go feed her, baby. Maybe she’ll listen to you.” Lee Joon finally spoke.

“But I--”

Lee Joon shook his head, stopping Ji Hyun from making another word.

“Fine! I’ll go feed her!”

Ji Hyun stomping in anger to the room.

 

-------

 

“Yah. Eat something, will you?” Ji Hyun stared at you. She glanced at the untouched jajangmyeon and a packet of chocolate bread on the bedside table.

“No.”

“Do you want to starve to death?”

“That’s the plan.”

“Yah!”

“Wae? You hate me after all. That’ll be convenient.”

You have no energy to move. Your body was shaking from the hunger but you refused to eat. You wanted to shake them up. Ji Hyun didn’t reply. She stood at the window, throwing her stare outside. 

“Eat. Dujun’s baby needs to eat.”

You glared at her in disbelieve.

Ji Hyun grinned, slightly glanced over to you.

“Don’t look so surprised. Chansung told me.”

 

The bread taste like sand, but you chewed and swallowed them up anyway. You have to eat something, apparently, to stay alive. You stubbornness will kill you and your baby, Dujun’s baby. Maybe this hunger strike is not the best choice to make them release you.

You bite your swollen lips several times while eating. You could feel your cracked lips and dried blood patch at the corner of your mouth from your touch. Your hair was messy, your cut at the wrist was stained with yellow antiseptic. You felt really dirty.

“Why, Ji Hyun? Why do you keep me here?” You threw the question to Ji Hyun, breaking the silence.

“If you asked me, my purpose was simple.”

She stared at you.

“I want Dujun to suffer from losing you.” She said, with her dark stare straight to you.

“He had suffered enough.”

“3 days was not enough. Tsk.” She smirked.

Thinking of Dujun made your eyes warm with tears. Your blinked your tears away, because this crazy in front of you wouldn’t even bothered by it.

“He had suffered enough from losing you, Ji Hyun.”

She startled for a moment, but kept her straight face.

“He loved you so much. I could tell from the moment he dragged me away at the clinic. He tried to hide it within him, but he couldn’t. I could clearly see it in his eyes. He was so heartbroken. His world collapse when he leave you.”

Ji Hyun looked away, but you continued.

“He was admitted to the hospital because he drank too much. Alcohol is his antidote from remembering you every second. He mumbled your name when he’s drunk. He’s looking for you in his sleep. You took his heart away, Ji Hyun. He tried to find his heart back but he knew he shouldn’t. He’s fighting with himself even though he knew winning the game will only bring more pain and heartache.”

You took a deep breath.

“He lost his purest love. He lost his life. He’s alive only because he’s breathing. If you want him to suffer, he had suffered enough.”