“Thank you, Madam. Thank you very much! I will work diligently. Thank you again, Madam!”

“Alright, alright. No need to thank me that much. I hope you will work hard every day.”

“I will, Madam. I will!”

“Okay. So, I’ll see you here in two days’ time, alright?”

“I can’t wait to work here, Madam. I’ll be here as promised.”

“Okay. You can leave now.”

“Thank you again, Madam. I’ll see you soon. Good bye and take care.”

You leave her office with a big smile plastered on your face.

Gaining back your inner strength as the day goes by, you decided to go out and look for a job. You can’t rely on him forever. Finally, after a few days wandering around town, you successfully secured a full-time job at a café. This job will be enough for the time being. You had another big plan in your mind.

_______. Your life have turned out this way without you knowing why, but it is not a bad thing. You may not have anything right now, you may not have anyone, but you have yourself. You’re still breathing. Keep moving forward, ______. They say the rainbow comes out only after the rain. You’re worth it. Even if anyone else didn’t appreciate you, you are priceless. Rest assured, your time will come. Work harder and you will be happy again.

“I know I will.”

You assured yourself as you lost in your self-thought on your way home.

Coming back from the café, you entered your apartment. You saw his shoes. He’s home. You walked inside and saw him on the couch, watching some music program on TV. You walked past him towards the kitchen table. You poured some water and gulped until the last drop. You glanced at him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m sorry for being too abrupt.”

Silent.

The car ride feels so awkward, uncomfortable. He put his full attention into his driving. But when you glanced slightly at him, you can see his soulless eyes.

“Meet my girlfriend. Ani, I’ll marry her tomorrow. She’s my wife tomorrow. I’ll never be alone for the rest of my life. So don’t be so worried for me. Keep it to yourself. I don’t need it.”

Too shocked from the situation, you followed him without you yourself knowing why. You forgot about your pain. Your mind went blank at that moment. He grabbed your hand tightly in his, pulling you along as he leave the clinic. When you gained your senses again, the car already halfway into Seoul.

“E-E-Excuse me, S-Sir…”

“My name is Dujun. Yoon Dujun.”

“Dujun-sshi. Please stop the car.”

No answers.

“Dujun-sshi. Stop the car, please. I want to go home.”

“Where is your home?”

No answers.

“About the thing I said back then, at the clinic…”

Long paused.

“I don’t have any intention to take it back.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One can.

Two can.

The third one.

He opened the fourth. Before he could sip the drink, you grabbed his hand.

“Stop. You’ve had enough, Dujun-sshi.”

He looked up, staring to your face. He gave you the don’t-tell-me-what-to-do glare, piercing through your eyes. Cold. Letting go of his hand, you lowered your gaze from him and walked upstairs.

You prepared the warm bath in the bathtub. Stiff muscles at your legs is killing you, resulted from all the walking and wondering for hours around town for the past few days, going to one place after another seeking for a job. After the bath were ready, you immersed yourself in the bathtub.

“You can take one bedroom for yourself upstairs. The one on the left. I’ll give you the spare keys for your bedroom. I’ll text you the front door’s key code. You can use everything in this house, eat anything from the kitchen. Only my bedroom is totally off limits. I’ll bank-in your monthly allowance. Live your life as usual. Don’t mind me.”

“And what will we be, Dujun-sshi?”

“We’ll be no more than just a housemate.”

A housemate. When you just become his lawfully wedded wife in the morning.

Your thoughts going back to the wedding day, if you can call it that. Nothing about that day represents a wedding. It’s been one and a half month since you signed the paper on the table. He signed them after you. No wedding rings. No pictures. No vows. You even wondered why you agreed to go on with this marriage in the first place.

I have no one. No friends, no family. At least if I die, someone will know.  

With that thought in your mind, you signed the paper. That’s how desperate and pathetic your life were back then. Called it blessing in disguised. At least you had some place in this world, in this house. He brought you to this house on the evening of the wedding day, or you can say ‘on paper marriage’ day. You drown in your tears for one whole week after that day.

You raised your head and stared to the ceiling.  

I am not gonna cry anymore. I’m gonna come back strong.

You prepared for bed. It’s already close to midnight. As you want to close your eyes, a loud noise echoed from downstairs. You froze for a moment, waiting for any other sound. Grown with curiosity, you get up from bed and walked slowly downstairs.

You saw his body lay unmoving at the side of the coffee table. His face facing the carpet, with one hand hanging on the table. A few empty beer cans scattered on the floor and on the table. You ran towards him. You turned his body around.

“Dujun-sshi!” you patted his face when he’s not responding.

“Dujun-sshi. Gwenchanhayo? Wake up! Are you alright?!”

He let out a small groan. His breath heavy yet steady. You exhaled in relieve. He just too drunk and fell asleep. You checked for any bruises or cut from the fall on his forehead, cheeks and his body. Luckily, there’s none that visible.

“Please, don’t leave me…” you heard his faint voice.

“Stay…” he mumbled softly.

You looked at him. His eyes closed. A droplet of tear comes out from the corner of his eye, fell down at the side. Unconsciously, he put his hand on his chest, brushing his shirt.

“Stay, Ji-hyun-ah…” another painful moaned escaped his lips. And another tears fell from his eyes.

His ex-girfriend, Jun Ji-hyun. His love. His world. Until that one day, that one fateful day. His curiosity lead him to finally found out the truth, it even killed him inside at the end. Since then, he’s been drinking every night. Whether with his group members or he’s drinking alone at home. You barely saw him without an alcoholic drink in his hands.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Breathe, Dujun-sshi.” You brushed his back upwards and down.

“Come on, breathe! Breathe, Dujun-sshi!”

You turned him on his side and frantically shook his shoulder and brushed his back. But his breathing still shallow and erratic. At one time his mouth gasping for air. He’s totally lost his consciousness. His face was pale and bluish, his hands cold.

“Come on, stay with me Dujun-sshi.” You tried your hardest to stay in control and not letting panic consumed you.

All of a sudden, he have seizures. You lay his body down. You placed your palm under his head, protecting it from hitting the floor.

“Oh God.” you wait for his seizures to stop. Not long after, he stopped. When he does, you turned him on his side again. You have to put him on his side to opened his airways and preventing him choking from his vomit.

“Phone. Where’s his ing phone?!” you searched for his phone in his pockets as yours were upstairs.

“Hello! 911?! Please help! Come here quick! He’s unconscious!”

After informing your situation and address, you ended the call. You watched his breathing closely. Still too faint and irregular.

“Come on, breathe…. Please…” you brushed his back non-stop.

At the hospital, he received emergency treatment for his alcohol poisoning. You watched him from outside the glass-walled treatment room, as the doctor and nurses inserted a tube into his windpipe to help him breathe. They put him on a drip. They did all sort of things to pull him out from the critical stage.

God, please help him.

His phone in your hands rang. Again. You ignored it. You never pick up a call from his phone before. But it rang again for the nth time, and the same name pop out on the phone screen – Yong Junhyung. After hesitating for a while, whether to answers the call or not, you hit the green circle display.

“Hello…”

“Dujun! Where are you?!” he screamed.

“H-Hello. Dujun-sshi can’t answer his phone right now--”

“Who are you? Where is he?!” he cut your replies.

“Dujun-sshi is now at S Hospital. I think you should come.”

The phone call ended.

Yong Junhyung arrived at the hospital after Dujun was safely stabilized and being brought out of the emergency room to the emergency treatment lounge, still under close observations. He ran towards the emergency counter. The nurse showed him Dujun’s bed and he ran towards it in a flash.

“Oh God! Dujun!” He gasped in shock, seeing Dujun weak condition on the hospital bed. Then his gaze changed towards you.  

“Who are you, miss?”

Before you could answer his question, the doctor came.

“Mrs. Yoon, your husband condition have stabilized. To be safe, he will spend the night here and we will observed his condition closely. He has survived the dangerous state, so you don’t have to worry too much. I believed he will get better in the morning and you can bring him home then.”

“Thank you doctor. I appreciate it so much. Thank you again.” You bowed to the doctors in gratitude.

Junhyung slightly bowed to the doctor too.

“Thank you doctor.” he also thanked the doctor politely.

“You’re welcome. Please make sure he control his alcohol intake in the future. Too much alcohol can be toxic to your body. It will be very dangerous if this happen again. Please consider my advice. Control the alcohol consumption. I’ll take my leave now. Please inform the nurses quickly if you have any problem. Good bye now.” Then the doctor leave.

“Mrs. Yoon?? Have I heard it wrong?”

You captured Junhyung’s gaze piercing straight to you, again.

“Shall we have some coffee together, Junhyung-sshi?”

Sat beside each other at the waiting area in the lounge, while sipping the coffee from the vending machine, you calmly told him everything. What happen between Yoon Dujun, Jun Ji-hyun and you.

“It all happen too fast. It’s only been two weeks.”

Junhyung haven’t said a word.

“I think I should tell you because Dujun-sshi always mention your name during his phone call at home. I guess he tried to reach for you, but you avoided him.”

Silent.

“He kept this as a secret for a reason. Please understand him.”

Yoon Dujun with his stubbornness and his pride, Junhyung thought. He still kept silent.

“If you don’t believe me right now, it’s okay. But please don’t misunderstood me. I don’t have any ill attention towards your friend. We may be husband and wife, but we live in a totally different world.” a stint of pain can be felt through your words.

“Another reason why I told you all this is because…” you paused for a moment.

You looked at him.

“Please help him, Junhyung. He need his friend. He’s in pain. Too much pain. Please help him.” you pleaded for his favour.

“Do your friend help you too?” Junhyung eventually asked.

No answers from you. You stared blankly ahead.

“Hyung…”

Junhyung and you turned around instantaneously.

Four pairs of eyes stared at both of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You kneeled beside him, watching his face. You massaged his chest slowly, caressing with sympathy.

“Does it still hurt in here, Dujun-sshi?” you whispered.

“Let her go, Dujun-sshi. Let her go.” you mumbled.

“I already let him go. Why don’t you do the same, Dujun-sshi? Let her go. Then you will feel better in here.”

You held his hand on his chest with yours. You continued brushing his broad chest with the other one. He then starts whining with his eyes still closed. His shoulder shuddered when he let out small sobs. His face portrayed what he feels right now; miserable, vulnerable, tormented. He lost in an unbearable pain.

“Ssshhh…”

You patted his chest tenderly, as if consoling a crying baby. You still hold his hand tight.

“I know it hurts, Dujun-sshi. I know.”

You his hair on his forehead lovingly.

“It will get better...”

You smiled in pain at him. Tears starts b in your eyes. It’s too painful to see. You’d known better.

“You just have to let her go…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"The rainbow will come after the rain"

T_T

The pain of heartbreak are unexplainable, unbearable. You have to let go to be free.

Hope you can feel what I tried to tell. 

Thank you & thank you again. 

XOXORISE_hugs&kisses~