Beast’s Concert was successful just like before. Many have supported them and wished them for further success. That day had been one of the best days for all the Beast members except for Junhyung.  After Jae Min had talked to him that day, she had not showed up again. He felt as if he did or said something wrong but he tried to force himself to smile.

 

That night when they came back home, Jae Min was already asleep. The next morning, she avoided everybody, including Min and her auntie. She seldomtalked.

 

It was their last day in Japan because the next morning, they’d go back to Korea. Everyone had decided to go on shopping or probably walk around but Jae Min had refused to go with them.

 

She stayed at the house all day thinking over and over again. She wasn’t feeling jealous of the fact that Junhyung remembers Hara because it was necessary—he was her boyfriend. She wasn’t mad either. She couldn’t be mad at him.

 

There was something inside of her making her feel uneasy—guilt. They can’t just fool each other or even Hara. They both knew that everything had changed. For over five years, everything had surely changed, except for the only thing she knew that never changed, her love for Junhyung. And no matter how many times Junhyung would tell her that he loved her, she couldn't just change the fact that Hara already owned him. Junhyung was confused about his feelings… he wasn’t sure… and when he had decided, and when he chose Hara, that would hurt her so much. 

 

No one has ever affected her life like this before. Not until when Junhyung came.

 

She had always promised before that she would never fall in love the way her mother fell in love with her father. She had never wanted to meet the guy for her because she knew what would happen in the end. She grew up in a broken family. A family she never called a family at all. Her father married another woman and left them.

 

 She was known to be the cheerful girl in the class. Her background was never seen because she has always covered all of those in her smile. A smile she would always fake to force herself to be happy. But when Junhyung came into her life, everything changed. It was when she has first flashed her true smile of happiness. It was him who made her feel real happiness.

 

But everything has its end.

 

“What are you doing here?” a voice distracted her from her reverie. She quickly hid something underthe pillow.

 

“I… Uh… I was thinking of cleaning the room,” she forced a slight smile as she stood up and got ready to walk away but Junhyung blocked the door.

 

“You’re acting strange.” he said as he entered the room.

 

“I’m sorry. I was just tired, I guess…” she replied

 

“Tired of what?” he asked making it hard for her to walk away and just leave him.

 

“Tired of us,” she replied and made Junhyung’s jaw drop. He knew what she meant but he never expected her to say that. “Let’s just end it like this… everything’s going to be okay when we stop this… this relationship,”

 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Junhyung said as he held her wrist, afraid of letting her go again.

 

“Of course I do,” she replied as she pulled her wrist away from him. “I was glad you followed what I told you before… And I hope you will still remember it… You’ll be happy with her,” she smiled and started to leave.

 

*       *       *

 

They went their own ways when they arrived in Korea. Beast’s schedule was still endless. Jae Min stayed with Min as usual. All the days that had passed were just the same except for the fact that Junhyung couldn’t forget Jae Min and their last conversation.

 

“Jae Min? Jae Min? Hey, where are you?” Min called as she roamed around the house but Jae Min was nowhere to be found. She came back to Jae Min’s room again and there she realized all her things were gone. There, on the table, a letter was carefully placed.

 

Unnie,

Don’t worry about me, okay? I just need to clear up my mind. I’ll be back, but not too soon, I guess. Thanks for everything, unnie. Thank you so much. I love you, unnie! J

 

“Junhyung,” Min scowled as she thought that Junhyung might have had something to do with this.

 

***

 

“Now tell me! Where is she?” Min furiously shouted as she impatiently waited for Junhyung’s answer or probably a long explanation.

 

“What are you saying? I don’t know where she is… why? What happened?” Junhyung asked as he looked around trying to see if they had caught everyone’s attention.

 

“You idiot! You took her away, I know it! Now tell me where she is hiding!” Min shouted again.

 

“Why would I take her away? And… I haven’t talk to her since when we were in Japan! It’s impossible,” Junhyung replied calmly.

 

“Then where could she be?" Min asked.

 

“I don’t know, probably with her friends?” Junhyung shrugged.

 

“You... You’re not even worried?”

 

“I am! But what can I do? She wanted to avoid me…” Junhyung said weakly.

 

“Damn it, Junhyung! Don't you know anything about her?” Min asked as she looked at him eye-to-eye.

 

“Like what?” Junhyung asked

 

“Like her disease, leukemia…” Min answered

 

“What?” Junhyung’s eyes widened. “L-Leukemia?”

 

“Oh God… Do you want me to start from the very beginning?” Min said, “Jae Min was diagnosed with Leukemia when you two were back in college… that day before when she broke up with you. Her father forced her to stay with him so that he could support her expenses for her Chemotherapy.”

 

“She should have told me!”

 

“She couldn’t… she knew that you would just be worried about her so she chose to keep it  a secret. And apart from that, she thought that when the therapy failed to cure her—“

 

“But why… if she had her therapy, she’s supposed to... lose her hair,”

 

“Indeed,” she replied

 

“But…”

 

“That was a wig, Junhyung…”

 

“Tell me she’s cured now, Min. Tell me."

 

“When she had known about your relationship with Hara she quickly decided to go back to Korea. That very next day she was supposed to have another therapy but we flew back to Korea just for you.” Min replied

 

Junhyung shook his head in frustration. He never thought this could be his worst reality.

 

***

 

“Did he already eat?” Doojoon asked all of them pertaining to Junhyung who haven’t come out of his room ever since when he got home. Doojoon shook his head sensing something could be wrong but he never bothered to approach Junhyung. He knew Junhyung needs some time to think.

 

Junhyung kept thinking and thinking again about their conversations. He wanted to figure out if he could ever find a sign.

 

“I was glad you followed what I told you before… And I hope you will still not forget about it… You’ll be happy with her,”

 

“Followed what, Jae Min, what?” he mumbled as he tried to remember but he couldn't.

 

Frustrated, he grabbed his notebook and flipped it open and read everything one by one, carefully trying to remember. After minutes, he was now on his unfinished chapter… that chapter he made when he was in Japan.

 

But he recognized something….

He flipped to the next page that was supposed to be blank…

 

“What if one day you woke up and I was gone?” I asked him. His smile faded and he looked at me seriously.

“Then I’ll look for you,” he quickly answered, “But I know you wouldn’t be gone from me… I’ll never let you go,” he added as he smiled again.

“But what if… you didn’t see me? Would you find another girl?” I asked again.

“I will wait for you to come back,” he replied.

“You don’t have to…” I said quietly.

He looked at me again, “Why are you saying that?”

“You have to look for another girl when I’m gone… You have to love another girl when I’m gone. You have to continue your life… because you’ll never know if I would ever come back…”

 

P.S.

Strange, this is one of the memories I always remember with you. You made me smile when you said you’d wait for me but it was not the correct answer though.

You followed what I said and I was happy about that. You have moved on when I was gone.

But why didn’t you write this part in here?

Maybe it wasn’t that cheesy at all.

 

It was Jae Min’s hand writing. Junhyung couldn’t believe what he was reading. It was Jae Min who wrote this. How did she know about this?

 

“How could I even forget about this?” he whispered.

 

“You have to look for another girl when I’m gone… You have to love another girl when I’m gone. You have to continue your life… because you’ll never know if I would ever come back…”

 

Junhyung grabs his pen and gets ready to write down, “But you forgot what I replied, Jae Min” he muttered.

 

“Then I guess you have to believe in fate...and that fate for me is you,”

 

Once again, the emotions he felt before came back. Then he felt that his heart was literally shattered into pieces.

 

“You can’t just leave me again, Jae Min… I’ll be waiting for you,”