Fiction: You are My Story to Tell

Description

 

Every song has a story to tell,

Every story has a song to sing,

Every part of me is a memory of you,

And every memory of you is part of me.

Every word, every sentence, every line and every story I write is YOU…”

 



 

 

 

“Junhyung, let’s break up…”

 

It took him a minute before he could understand what she meant. He opened his mouth to respond but he closed it again, quiet distracted as the rain dropped on her pale, soft skin.  He tried to wipe it off but to his surprise, she avoided his hand and stepped backward with a frown.

 

“Junhyung, listen to me!  Let’s break up!”

 

“No.”

 

“What do you mean by NO?” she started to cry

 

“We won’t break up! I know you don’t want this. What’s the problem? Is there something wrong?  Do you saw me cheating on you? What?” he asked desperately

 

“We just have to” she avoided his eyes

 

“We don’t have to! We’re inseparable. We’re meant to be and there’s no reason for us to be torn apart!” he replied as he started to hug her from her back.

 

“I’m sorry, Junhyung…” she said softly to make the situation less worse but she was failing to it, he wouldn’t let her go.

 

“Please don’t do this to me” he whispered

 

“I don’t love you anymore…” she said

 

Junhyung erased the last part of the story as he desperately think of what he should write. It’s not the end of the story yet. It wouldn’t end. I should not end.  But how will he suppose to continue this story? Should he erase the whole story and start all over again?

“Why do you have to say that to me? Why do you have to leave me? “Junhyung mumbled as he put his pen down and rested his head on the back chair, staring at the ceiling.

“Move on, Junhyung. It’s been five years!”

 


Foreword


 

 

KARA‘s Hara and B2ST‘s Junhyung have been revealed to be dating!

On June 28th, Cube Entertainment announced, “They had a senior/ junior relationship until they began dating. They’ve been dating for about a month now. When Hara was going through some difficult times, Junhyung consoled her. Because of their busy schedules, they’ve only been able to go out to eat and other dating activities three times so far.”

 

 

“No… You promised me… You promised me…” she mumbled as she tried to scrutinize on the TV screen and it was no doubt, it was him.  It was him who was now famous and was now dating someone.

 

"You have to do something." her friend sat beside her glaring at the photo of Hara and Junhyung.

 

"What for?" she replied trying to hide her feeling of sadness. He said she was the only one for him. He promised he would wait no matter what. But what did he do?

 

"You know you have the reason to go back to his life." her friend gave her an encouraging look. Perhaps, she had the reason to come back. She just doesn't know how.

 


 

NOTE

This is my 11th fiction. I know I haven't finished four of my stories but I just thought of posting this because I have done this months ago and I wanted to continue writing about this. Obviously this was inspired by BEAST's "Fiction." This was based originally on the music video, what's unique with this is that the reason why the girl broke up with him. And I connected it also with the present news about Junhyung. 

English is not my first language so if you meet some grammatical errors, sorry for that. 

Rated for language ( some parts with foul words ), and I guess no but kissing scenes. :)

 

SPECIAL THANKS [For the amazing posterand for the review~!!]

 ◆◇|| Forever & Always Graphic Shop ||⊰

Forever Here For You~Review Shop

 

REVIEW

Title: [3/5] 
To me, the title is a bit... boring. If I saw it while scrolling through a list of fanfictions, I would most likely skip over it. 


Description/Foreword: [8/10]
The description and forward make it seem like the story will be really riveting and suspenseful. I really love fanfictions that keep me spazzing and wanting more. I want to know why she broke up with Junhyung. I mean, who would want to break up with that gorgeous man? 

Plot: [4/5]
The plot seemed great at the beginning, but then it became quite confusing. It cleared up a bit, but I was still a confused. Overall, I could tell you must have put a lot of thought into it. There were some things that just had me laughing, I could totally see it happening in my mind.

Flow: [6/10] 
I really had no idea what was going on for a while, I was highly confused. It cleared up a bit after a while, but I think it would be better if you explained things more clearly. Use description, it helps a lot.

Writing Style: [3/5]
Your writing could use a little but of work, but overall it was alright. I liked the way you wrote about Jae Min, how you made her personality seem. The conversations sometimes made little sense, but I could understand some of what you were getting at. Your dialogue needs a bit of help too.
I really liked the flashbacks at the beginning of each chapter. For some reason, I just love flashbacks. The random poems/song lyrics (whatever they were) were alright, but they seem to bother me in a lot of fanfictions. I usually skip right over them because I just don't like that people include them in the story. It annoys me a bit.
I really enjoyed the parts where Junhyung was sitting writing in his notebook. It somehow really made me think back to the “Fiction” music video.


Originality: [10/10]
It's a tiny bit cliché, but I like that in a romance. For some reason, I just loved that at one point Jae Min was reading Harry Potter. Probably because I'm a Harry Potter fanatic, but there could be more to it. It has its funny moments, and certainly some sad moments, but it was great overall. 

Grammar/Punctuation/Vocabulary: [15/20]
You need to work a lot more on this. You forgot a lot of puncuation marks, and the vocabulary was quite confusing at times. If you want to fix it, I suggest asking someone to edit your chapters before you post them. It's a lot of help, and it saves a little bit of embarrassment. Trust me, I know.

Characterization/Details: [17/20]
You need to work a bit on that too. I would have liked to see more details about all of the characters. But, because it was Beast and I know enough about their personalities, I didn't really need much information about them. It was mostly Jae Min I wanted you to expand on. There's a lot that could have been done to make her seem even better.

Poster/Background: [5/5]
LOVE the poster. I don't really know why, but I just really liked it from the moment I saw it. I could really sense the angst.

Overall Enjoyment: [6/10]
I had a hard time reading it at some points, it just wasn't that interesting to me. I seem to have that problem with a lot of fanfictions. I seriously really liked the flashbacks, but the rest of it... Eh. It was alright. 

Total Score: [77/100]
Just work a bit harder at it. You have a great imagination! If you need some help, feel free to ask me! I love editing things.

 

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Comments

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anasilvia #1
Chapter 10: Love it! .......
hazelannemaecruz #2
love it :))
trinity- #3
Awwww <3 I loved it ^^
ellaHap
#4
love it~>w< fate.........
mefika
#5
finally..but then, i think it's ok if you make sad ending..:)
mefika
#6
is it gonna be sad love story?..
SeaTurtle
#7
*in tears and awe*
Eileen_C
#8
Hey new reader ^^<br />
Please update soon it's so touching :'(
BabyXingXing
#9
Is this the end?
BabyXingXing
#10
Chap 8. Y did she leave??