created: 5/20/'13

 

 

 

part 2 of the previous story.. for those who are asking for it.. actually, it was made a few days after the part 1 was done.. I was just waiting for the other site to post it before I share it here.. haha.. YIKES!! I'm back to school.. vacation is over.. sooooooo.. goodbye updates!

 

erhm-- errors again..

 

 

 

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Ha Ni

 

Four months have gone by since that troublesome night. The culprit has been captured and sent to jail. Thanks to my sketch, everything went well smoothly.

 

I’ve been trying to erase the memory so that I could live in peace. But the psychological scar inflicted seemed to be always fresh. As fresh as the mangoes I’m craving for right now. I want to buy ones, but I have a scheduled appointment to my psychiatrist.

 

Yup, we sought medical help because—well, just because. I don’t think I could handle it, so in the end, I agreed to Seung Jo’s suggestion for me to recover in a shorter period of time. The psychiatrist was his classmate in medical school.

 

 

 

I went to the other room to bid my daughter goodbye. “Be good to your nanny, okay?” I reminded.

 

“Yes, mommy.  I’ll always be good.”

 

I left the house after giving her a kiss and talking to her babysitter.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 “I can see you’ve been progressing well. This might even be our last session.” He smiled brightly at me.

 

I returned his smile as we proceeded to the session.

 

When we were done, we waited for the summaries and medical progress to be printed. We were just talking about random things. He became a close friend after those meetings for the therapy.

 

“Would you mind if I eat first? I haven’t eaten my breakfast at home. So sorry, my stomach is rumbling. Well, I wouldn’t mind if you eat with me.” Dr. Kang curtly remarked.

 

“Breakfast at 10 AM. Not that bad. We’re almost done with the session anyway.”

 

He settled his food on the table. As he did so, something came up from my insides.

 

“Go and eat, I’ll just excuse myse—” and before I could put a period on my statement, I ran towards the comfort room of the clinic as I felt my stomach turned upside down.

 

 

 

“Sorry about that, doctor,” I said when I came back. “I didn’t mean to. I was—I just—I don’t know. The food smelt weird and—“ he chuckled to cut me off.

 

“Mrs. Baek, I’ve noticed you’ve been acting strange. You always say you want to eat mangoes. You throw up every time you smell the snacks I bring here with me. I bet you don’t even remember when you had your last menstrual period. Am I correct?”

 

 

I stared blankly in disbelief.

 

 

GREAT!

 

 

I’ve experienced the same sequence once and I’ve already forgotten about them all?

 

Dr. Kang chuckled again and began signing the printed papers. “Since this is our last session, I think the next doctor you would need to seek is an ob-gyn, don’t you agree?”

 

I hastily nodded and bowed. “Thank you so much, Dr. Kang. You’ve been a very big help.”

 

“That’s an overstatement.” He handed me the summaries. “Ah, Seung Jo is one hell of a lucky guy.”

 

Once I was out of there, I head straight to the OB department to confirm the suspicion.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Eight weeks.

 

 

 

I repeated to myself. I was happily striding home, excited to bring out the news.

 

But an unexpected phone call made me stop on my tracks.

 

 

 

***

 

 

“Mother!” I called my mother-in-law who was frantically running towards me.

 

“What happened, Ha Ni? Is he alright?”

 

“I don’t know. I’m still not sure, mother. I just got the call when I was going home. Said he was seen lying on the ground at the back of the hospital. His head was bleeding.”

 

“Oh, dear,” she panicked.

 

I tried calming her down, at the same time calming myself. Soon enough, the ER door opened, spitting out a stretcher with my husband on it and two nurse attendants pushing it forward.

 

“Ha Ni-ssi?” the doctor following them asked.

 

I bowed down at him.

 

“Please, come with me to my office.” He then walked forward.

 

“Mother,” I turned to face her. “You can go after them. I’ll go with the doctor.” She hugged me before leaving.

 

 

 

“He had a major contusion on the medial temporal lobes. We managed to remove the blood clot. He’s out of danger now. However, selective memory loss would be normal,” the male doctor explained further.

 

It made my brows twitch. “Selective?” I repeated.

 

 

***

“What could have been the cause of it?” mother asked when I was done narrating the doctor’s message earlier.

 

“A big blow on his head. They are suspecting that someone did it on purpose. The securities are reviewing the CCTV records.”

 

“On purpose?” she clarified and I nodded whilst looking at my still unconscious beloved.

 

“I hate to conclude this, Ha Ni. But your almost —”

 

My head snapped up at her. “What about him?”

 

“A police officer called this morning because he couldn’t contact the both of you. He said the man was able to pay the bail for temporary release. The bail amount was good for only two weeks.”

 

I stood up from my seat in shock. “It couldn’t be—“

 

Our conversation was cut when we heard Seung Jo grumbling. Both of us stepped near the bed.

 

He opened his left eye first followed by the other. “Mom—” he murmured.

He then shifted his gaze on me. “Who are you?”

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

I just surpassed the longest three weeks of my life.

 

 

Selective memory loss?

 

 

What a penance!

 

 

Why of all the events in his life, he had to forget about his marriage? Why did this have to happen to me? Was I that bad during my past life to receive all of these?

 

And I still haven’t told anyone about the growing life inside me. I pleaded the two doctors – the psychiatrist and my ob-gyn – not to tell anyone, especially my husband.

 

 

Why?

 

 

Because I’ve witnessed how he has been avoiding our first born. He doesn’t remember anything related to me, not even my father.

Though he acts so jolly when Seung Ha is around, he would turn blank and stoic when she’s not. I can see the reflected qualms in his eyes, as though he was asking if he really has a family of his own.

 

It hurts. It hurts to the very fundamental part of my whole existence.

 

I thought pain has resigned for being my stalker. But why is it applying for the position once again?

 

We decided to move back to the Baek’s house just so he would have the selected memories back sooner. Seung Ha was sharing a room with us because there wasn’t any vacant room left for her. Well, I didn’t mind because I was sure Seung Jo wouldn’t initiate any activities anyway. Not if he doesn’t remember who I am in his life.

 

The culprit, on the other hand, was sent back to jail with additional charges once it was proven that it was him who attacked my husband. Sometimes, I get the thought of barging in to the jail and ending his life for all the trouble and all the pain he had caused me. I just wish he still find his peace after all the injuries he had done.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

I sighed in exasperation when my shift was over. It’s time to head home.

 

 

 

Home.

 

 

 

If it could even be called that.

 

I touched the slight bump on my almost-three-month-old tummy.

 

“It’s okay, baby,” I said quietly and headed out of the hospital.

 

I was so excited to see my daughter. It was her first day in nursery schoo