Chen is practically glowing in glee and everyone in the studio might think he has gone completely crazy with the way he is smiling nonstop, but he cannot help it. Who cares if that girl from the handbags designing department is raising a curious eyebrow every time he walks past her? Her office is across from his, so it’s inevitable not to notice him; he sends her a forged smile as he pirouettes into his office this time, with the extra pins he needed in hand –and he’s not sorry that he bangs the door in her face when she tries to sneak a peek of what he’s been orchestrating in here for the past few days. Spies, spies everywhere. It’s not the first time he’s working on a special project and his coworkers know by now that when his office turns into a fortress of privacy and undisclosed designs, something big is going down. Little do they suspect of just how big it’s going to be this time, and he’s going to let his wickedness shine through; he’s going to shock them enough to remember it till fashion week.

He places the pin cushion on his desk, his eyes scanning his work so far and estimating how it’s almost coming along. It kind of resembles a proper two-piece garment, but it’s nowhere near wearable as it is. He walks around it for perspective, trying to fill in the blanks with his imagination for the unfinished parts –which are more than he would like, sadly. There is a big stack of designs, full-bodied and detail-focused, pinned on the wall, daunting him.

This suit is top secret for now, classified to the finest details, like the brand of the silken thread he’s planning on using and the size of the blazer’s buttons. Chen is the only one who can work on it, fetching and testing the materials for himself; it takes him so much effort and so much time, his notes on the project expanding on the wall of his office, and he has passed two dates with Xiumin for this –although Xiumin joined him at his office after hours on both occasions, bringing food, coffee and a much needed, warm hug. A small part of Chen’s brain is telling him that he should be sulking at Baekhyun for ordering a suit at such short notice, and another part of him is turning the blame against himself, telling him that he is stupid for saying yes to something he knew to be nearly impossible. But let’s be realistic: he couldn’t say no.

When your best friend is a tricky, manipulative and exuberantly cute puppy, who knows all your weak spots and vulnerable moments, such lapses in judgment are understandable. When Baekhyun asked Chen for the suit, the latter was in the middle of a cheering session, overflowing with feels about the newfound couple and their first planned public appearance together at the Park Gala, and his mouth was gushing two thousand words per minute on autopilot, so he answered –more like screamed– yes. Baekhyun was prudent enough to ask over the phone, giving himself the benefit of physical distance the moment Chen realized what they had agreed on, or else Chen wouldn’t have hesitated to chase him around on the street, begging to take it back and just take Baekhyun for shopping instead. As things were, he found himself pulling on his hair and making strangled noises, intercepted by occasional screams of frustration for an hour, after he realized what he had committed to do.

Yes, the people in the studio may, in fact, have many reasons to think he has gone completely crazy; it wouldn’t be the first time.

This might not be entirely bad though. Sure, he will have to work on at least three draft suits and then pick one with Baekhyun, sew it properly and have a fitting with him, all that in less than a week, and that will be one hell lot of work, but he chooses to see it as a challenge. Besides, he still gets to go shopping with Baekhyun, for shoes and the works, and he’s in charge of planning a general makeover for him as he deems appropriate, with no restrictions. It’s like playing dress-up with a living doll and he has been begging his best friend to let him do it for years; now, it’s show time. It would be easier if he had someone to help him, but this suit and the rest of Baekhyun’s appearance has to be a surprise for the world, when they see him on the night of the gala. Because yes, Baekhyun will be Chanyeol’s date at the Park Company Gala this weekend –officially starting to fulfill heavy-duty boyfriend obligations–, and there will be a legion of cameras and journalists there, practically the whole world will be watching. So, Chen had better do a good job and keep it a secret until the time comes to stun them all.

For a person on a tight schedule, he certainly doesn’t lack ambition.

He just feels so proud of his baby Baek, his little innocent puppy who is turning into a…well, he’s still a little innocent puppy, but a little innocent puppy with a boyfriend, thank you very much! The thought keeps Chen’s spirits high on a daily basis, no matter how sleep deprived and anxious he might be. Even now, running on his second cup of coffee since the morning, he keeps humming under his breath absentmindedly, bobbing his head to the rhythm and squirming his hips every now and then; if he could, he would run outside, smile his smug, sassy smile to the world and scream on top of his lungs that Park Chanyeol is taken, b*tches! My boy Baek has him!...But that is as bad an idea as it sounds, especially in a room full of female fangirls and fashion reporters who are secretly gossip writers. So he prefers bubbling with joy quietly and looking like a mad man in the eyes of unaware people, defensively giving weird looks to anyone who stares his way toο much.

Because it took forever but finally, finally, Chanyeol and Baekhyun are together. TOGETHER! Oh god, this is so overwhelming. How can he not be hyper and wiggle his rear to a silly tune right now? Chen is like family to Baekhyun and he often acts worse than Baekhyun’s real mother –Mrs. Byun is a sweet and discreet, gentle woman, while Chen is a bit sharper and only selectively discreet–, and this is definitely one of those times when he’s being overenthusiastic –and unapologetic in that matter. His cheekbones hurt and he still cannot lose the smile. Almost all his thoughts travel to the happy, cute couple –especially after that night out at the club, when they smooched right in front of his eyes and all their friends– and he knows he is getting way ahead of himself on this but, he is making wedding plans and lists, and of course he will be the one to design the suits for both grooms, and he wonders what sort of ring Chanyeol will get Baekhyun, and will Kyungsoo and Kai be married by then already?

Okay, focus. Time issues…

He shakes his head and trains his eyes on the pieces of expensive black fabric he is holding, pinning them together to sew later, when the studio will be empty of people other than him; he’s doing overtime again, ugh. He wonders if Xiumin will eat at the restaurant or come by to see him and perhaps bring him some delicious nibbles. He glances at his designs on the wall, his eyes skipping the clock which he has covered with a spare piece of fabric anyway –he can do without further pressure– and he thanks the gods that he has memorized Baekhyun’s measurements throughout the years. The doll he’s working on is not the same as Baekhyun –it has a female built with a tiny waist for starters– but it will do for now. His small friend had to work today, but he promised to come by later, take a look at the suit and stay for a proper fitting, some day during this week.

Chen pins the collar, thinking how this arrangement is similar to designing Krystal’s wedding dress. Only this time he is infinitely more willing to work and do his best, because it’s not just his reputation, his career and his firm –hell, it’s not even about the money. It’s about his best friend, going on his first red carpet date, with his first love; fairytales are modeled after this sort of thing. He can’t fathom a way to compare designing a wedding dress nobody had wanted, to designing a suit for such a happy occasion –and don’t even think of comparing Baekhyun to Krystal, because that will last three chapters of endless praise and dirt respectively.

He takes a step back to examine his work. It looks good, yeah, not bad at all, if he may say so himself. It’s still missing one sleeve and half a pant, but it looks promising, mhm. With a sudden epiphany, he makes a mental note to remember to talk to Baekhyun when they meet about the makeover he has in mind, and schedule an appointment with the hairdresser. Oh my, if everything goes according to Chen’s plans, cutie Baek will look dashing next to Chanyeol and nothing sort of cute; Chen is planning to push his friend into smexy territory a little. Mwuahahaha. He can imagine them on the red carpet, looking fantastic and all sorts of fabulous together, cooly strutting down the aisle, like a secret fantasy which has come to life! And what if they are also holding hands?!

Oh gosh, he can’t wait!

Actually, he can’t wait to see them together anywhere really. He has reviewed that picture Kyungsoo took a thousand times –for inspiration purposes, what?– and his thirst has yet to be quenched; he wants to see more sides and interactions of the couple. They were cute before, but that only raised his expectations impossibly for what is to come now, that they’re really with each other. Last time he saw Baekhyun, when they met up for Sunday coffee after their clubbing night, Baekhyun nearly killed Chen while describing their first kiss and then their picnic exhibition, second kiss included. Chen kept choking on his coffee until his face turned blue. He asked for details, of course, and Baekhyun confessed to everything with a small blush on his cheeks, from the chocolate hunting game to the moment he dropped off Chanyeol at his house after their picnic –Chen was hoping for more action, the second time at least, if you know what he means, but meh. Those two definitely work in a pace of their own. Baekhyun unconsciously blushed deeper when he was telling Chen about the kisses (Baekhyun’s first kisses in love and, holy Grace Kelly he looked so cute, that Chen started regretting losing his first kiss at some high school party, even if it was with the smoking hot swim team captain), so Chanyeol must have done something right, to make Baekhyun swoon like that.

Hats off to Chanyeol, for being the most amazing gentleman and the perfect prince for Baekhyun.

Chen’s phone rings and he picks it up automatically, trying to keep a piece of fabric from slithering to the ground with his hand and his elbow but he fails. He unbends himself from the awkward angles, sliding the green indication to answer the phone; he doesn’t check the caller id because he would rather throw a glare at that girl who just passed by his office, trying to sneak a peek inconspicuously –and failing miserably, since there is only one window to the hallway and he can clearly see her struggling behind the closed curtain. Well, he is not cooped up in here for no reason, if that’s what you’re wondering about cupcake. She is so getting transferred to shoes section…

“Hello? This is Chen” he greets automatically with a small frown, still thinking about the girl. However, in the next few seconds on the phone, his mood makes a one hundred and eighty turn and his stomach drops, all plans about transfers and suits and makeovers and dinners put abruptly on hold for now, because “WHAT DO YOU MEAN KYUNGSOO IS IN THE HOSPITAL?!”

--

Kai leans his head back on the wall and closes his eyes. His neck hurts and he feels like his head will explode, the humming noise of the people in the room being a constant, annoying nudge to his ears, on top of everything else his mind has to cope with right now. His back is starting to hurt because these chairs are awful, but that’s the least of his worries. His lips feel dry and the air smells strange, like medicine and adrenaline, but he guesses that’s just how all hospitals are and he is ticked off only because of the fact that he needs to be in the hospital right now and wait for who knows how long. He hasn’t been inside a hospital building for such a long time ever since he has had his waist surgery, years ago; it’s bizarre how unchanged the scenery looks. White walls, ugly chairs, cold air and medical equipment; it all amplifies the feeling of being at a standstill, uncertain of the result and helpless. He’s growing tired of waiting.

His thoughts keep traveling to Kyungsoo. They are all about Kyungsoo. It’s like every breath he takes pulls out another thought from a special box Kai has in his head only for him, pretty memories turning into hunting images, ‘what if’s chanting in his brain, his anxiety making him picture horrible scenarios about the future which make his stomach turn. He will never forget what Kyungsoo looked like when the fire rescuers pulled him out of the car; frail, lifeless, pale and with blood everywhere on his face. Just at the memory, Kai cringes and his heart picks up the pace in horror. He still doesn’t know how bad he is hurt, or what sort of procedures he has to go through, and the suspense is killing him, gnawing at his bones no matter how hard he tries to stir his thoughts towards more optimistic paths. It’s futile; he can’t picture his Kyungsoo after this, when the last picture in his head is someone so broken that didn’t look much like his Kyungsoo.

If his friends hadn’t been here to support him and hold his hand during these agonizing moments, Kai would have been very close to losing his mind by now, screaming, crying, asking frantically about Kyungsoo at any person he came across, like a poor, lost soul. He scraps his memory for anything that might make sense but all he comes up with is a tangled mess of horror, nightmares and insecurities. He had no idea that life can change so quickly. Just earlier this morning he was b with happiness and enthusiasm, humming under his breath while brushing his teeth, gazing the piles of boxes full of Kyungsoo’s belongings in the living room. Kyungsoo would be with him soon, and Kai would tackle him to the couch for cuddles, and Kyungsoo would protest that they need to unpack his stuff but he would stay on the couch nonetheless. How could Kai know that a while later he would be having the worst hours of his life? He would have never imagined this. If he’d known that the fleeting kiss he stole from Kyungsoo by the door before he left his house last night would be the last one, he would have-no, stop it. Kai must not allow himself to have a mental break down right now, when Kyungsoo needs him.

Kai was in his apartment when he heard the crush. He was in the kitchen, preparing a nice brunch for Kyungsoo and himself, to welcome and pumper the former when he would arrive. When he heard the clutter from outside a few floors below, he turned everything off, alarmed, and walked out of the kitchen to the living room. When his eyes fell on the piles of boxes there, he knew. He just knew. He felt like life left his body for a moment, everything inside him being erased, and then he ran to the window. He saw Kyungsoo’s car turned over and another smashed car, plastered against the passenger’s side. He felt like he was losing his mind and cold sweat ran down his spine. He grabbed a few things automatically and ran down the stairs like there was no tomorrow, hardly managing not to trip on his way.

By the time he reached the car, people had already gathered around and called for an ambulance. Due to the piles of iron and glass on the pavement and on the street all around, Kai couldn’t get closer and he just kept crying, hopelessly calling Kyungsoo’s name and biting his lips until they bled. He kept pulling his hair in despair and he felt dizzy, leaning on the officer who was holding him at a safe distance from the ruins, until the professionals brought Kyungsoo’s unconscious body out of the pile. Kai lurched to his side and somehow convinced the paramedics to let him stay with Kyungsoo inside the ambulance, holding his cold hand and crying silent tears with no end, but Kyungsoo didn’t seem to understand any of it. When they reached the hospital, Kyungsoo was rushed to surgery and Kai was left frantic at the waiting room, with blood stained clothes that scared him even more.

He doesn’t know how he managed to call Chanyeol and he doesn’t remember what he said exactly. Chanyeol left the office immediately and picked up Baekhyun on his way to the hospital; they were the first to arrive to a picture of Kai on the verge of breaking. Baekhyun’s long, comforting hug and Chanyeol’s hand patting his back brotherly somehow kept him together, sharing the burden of the emotional strain. They brought him a change of clothes and hid the blood stained ones. Luhan arrived shortly after, informing them that Lay and Sehun couldn’t leave work, but they’d call. Luhan didn’t say anything in particular about the accident, but he let Kai hold his hand and squeeze it impossibly every once in a while, when bad thoughts took over his mind, and even though it had to hurt, Luhan didn’t say anything. He was a small anchor of reality for Kai in those moments and Kai is more thankful for that than he would be for any words. Chen was the last to arrive when things had already calmed down a bit, and he gave Kai a silent look which said everything that Kai needed to know and appreciate.

Baekhyun patiently helped Kai fill out the hospital forms for Kyungsoo, writing the letters calmly when Kai’s hands got too shaky, and filling in his medical history as far as he knew. Chanyeol helped Kai make arrangements for the hospital fees to be paid from Kai’s personal account, and Baekhyun offered to call Kyungsoo’s family later, when they would have news and details about the situation, not to alarm and discomfort them unnecessarily. Chen tried to contact a few good doctors he knows to help them, and they said they would make sure to give Kyungsoo the best care he could find. Luhan stayed right outside the doors to the surgery rooms, waiting for any news and asking every nurse that came out, but there was nothing to tell yet. They have been waiting silently ever since, giving each other courage.

Kai is thankful for the people in his life. He would be lost without them.

After an hour or so, the doors to the surgery room open again, and out comes a doctor who Kai can recognize. He is one of Kyungsoo’s doctors, Kai saw him when they took Kyungsoo away on a gurney. Kai springs to his feet, catching his friends’ curious attention; he is sure that there is some news for them this time and his heart beats behind his teeth in anticipation.

“For Do Kyungsoo?” the doctor asks, arranging his notes, and Kai walks closer while everyone else follows him quickly. “Are you friends or family?” the doctor glances at them all once, before resuming his notes. The fact that they have to go through such formalities before hearing news of Kyungsoo is almost too much for Kai, making the blood throb in his temples.

“We are friends, but we’re like family” Luhan answers seriously, and the doctor nods, mercifully opting not to ask anything further. Kai is thankful that Luhan is composed enough to answer those trivial things now that his own mind is racing, conjuring up possible news they’re about to hear.

“Well alright then; I believe Mr. Do will be fine” the doctor says right off the bat, and everyone lets out a great sigh of relief. Kai feels like his heart hurts from the sudden good news. “He had a ruptured spleen but we took care of that just in time. He has a couple of broken ribs, but nothing punctured the lungs. His right leg is broken and his left arm has sustained a minor fracture. Thankfully all those are things that will heal in a month or two. The gush on his head was deep but only superficial and his brain seems intact. He doesn’t seem to have memory loss or any other side effects. We will have to keep him here and run some more tests to make sure, but it looks like he will recover fully, with no permanent damage or complications” the doctor tucks his notes under his arm and shows them a tiny, polite smile. Kai could build him a temple right now.

“Thank you” Kai chokes out, his heart still fluttering, and he leans on Chanyeol for support. He is thankful for the good news, he is thankful that the doctor speaks a language he can understand, he is thankful that Kyungsoo is alive and he will be fine soon. He feels like the weight of the world has just been lifted off his tired shoulders, the tight ring of thorns around his heart unclenching. He can breathe again and it’s so much that he feels like he might pass out. His eyes get misty and he sobs drily, unable to control his emotions; Chanyeol’s hand is squeezing his arm and Baekhyun is holding his hand in the next moment for support.

“When can we see him?” Chen asks the doctor; Kai thinks that this is an answer he would like to hear too, so he tries to focus on the doctor as much as he can; the initial wooziness is slowly subsiding. The doctor answers the familiar, expected question calmly.

“We will have to keep him here for a few days, to run tests and make sure he is recovering. He is strong and, given his age and physical state, we have no reason to worry about his recovery. I suppose you can see him all you want starting tomorrow. For now, we have transferred him to room 601, but he is still drowsy from the medication and incoherent; he will be sleeping until tomorrow most probably. However, I think we could allow one visitor right now, if you would like. It’s better if we don’t overwhelm him but one person would be good for him” the doctor examines their faces, searching for the one who will visit Kyungsoo.

“This guy here will come with you, doctor” Chanyeol answers, setting Kai firmly back on his feet and pushing him forward. Kai sobers up abruptly, feeling flustered all of a sudden, like a child being singled out from their group of friends. The doctor nods in agreement but Kai hesitates.

“B-but, wouldn’t Baekhyun want to be with his friend?” he ends up suggesting lamely. He’s very confused and timid in the prospect of seeing his Kyungsoo again; even after all the information, he still doesn’t know what to expect. He cannot know how he might react when he sees Kyungsoo again. Kai really wants to be with Kyungsoo right now more than anything else in the world, to make sure that he is still alive and convince himself that he’ll be okay, Kyungsoo will be okay, but what if he is not the right person to be there when Kyungsoo wakes up? Baekhyun has known him for a longer time and he is much more calm and cheerful and composed, even in this situation, and maybe that’s what Kyungsoo will need when he wakes up. Kai might get selfishly distraught and make Kyungsoo uncomfortable whilst he will need all the comfort he can get.

“Don’t be silly” Baekhyun dismisses with a calm smile, already holding his phone to call Kyungsoo’s family. “If I were Kyungsoo, it’s you I would want by my side. So, go with the doctor” he motions with his hand, an encouraging, cheery smile playing on his lips. Kai bites his lip, still uncertain, but Chanyeol reassures the doctor that Kai will be the one following him to Kyungsoo, and everyone else agrees. In the end, Kai follows the doctor down the hall to the elevator, feeling his heart beating so loudly in his chest it’s almost painful.

--

Luhan relaxes on his couch like gooey cookie butter, putting his phone away, after updating Lay on Kyungsoo’s situation. He stretches and falls limp again, his relief practically radiating from his body along with his exhaustion. He feels like he has been lifting rocks all day, sore and tense everywhere, on the verge of a headache and in dire need of a long bath and some sleep. This is the first moment since the morning that he gets to cool down and close his eyes in relative peace. God, what a day…The heavy workload at the office would have been fine, but all the tension at the hospital and the emotional distress really got to him.

After the doctor told them that they were no use at the hospital, they left Kai behind to stay with Kyungsoo overnight; the injured man was still sleeping when they left but the doctor assured them he’d be fine and that they can pay him a first visit tomorrow –they’ve already scheduled who will visit when for the next few days, taking turns and making sure to include Sehun and Lay in their plans. Luhan will be too busy to stop by often, most probably, what with the preparations for the Park Gala straining the entire company, but he’s been assigned an equally important task: to keep Kai’s frequent absence as unnoticed as possible. Luhan has a fleeting thought about reporting to Kai’s father about his son’s current whereabouts, and boy this will be one hell of a situation to explain and lie his way through, but he is too tired to worry about that for now.

Chanyeol, Baekhyun and Chen followed Luhan to his apartment, because he lives the closest to the hospital and they were not ready to leave each other yet. Just being around each other is comforting, even Luhan can feel it. The apartment is a bit small for four people –and this might be the biggest crowd Luhan has ever had in here –but he doesn’t mind having them around; if anything he is happy to have them around, while his brain is still processing everything that has happened. Sehun will be joining them soon, already on his way to Luhan’s apartment after finishing work; Luhan vaguely wonders about what they will have for dinner. Maybe they should go out some place to eat all together.

“No, just lock the door!” Chen orders, growling intensely on the phone, pacing nervously back and forth behind the couch; the pendulum motion is making Luhan feel sleepy. “You don’t have to tide up or anything…Just do what I tell you! That’s why you are my assistant! Lock the door and make sure it stays that way, take the key with you! If anyone comes near my office, send them away, I don’t care; and don’t you even think of so much as peeking inside, because that will be the end of you. Make sure my office is off limits and make sure that everyone keeps their eyes to themselves! Got it?!” Chen barks and then hangs up at whomever he’d been arguing with. He comes around the couch and plops down next to Luhan, looking equally exhausted.

“Well, that was pleasant” Luhan muses with a sarcastic yet entertained smile. He hasn’t seen Chen so imperative and overall not-casual before; it’s comforting to know that Luhan is not the only one out there who is overly stressed due to work and inadequate assistants. Chen turns his eyes to him tiredly; the day has taken its toll on everyone.

“You think?” he scrunches his nose in distaste, surely realizing how unlike him his behavior was a moment ago. He sighs and looks to the ceiling pensively, shrugging his shoulders “It was necessary though” he clicks his tongue and looks ahead of him again, dismissing the issue. Luhan nods since he’s not in a position to judge. He is way worse than Chen when deadlines are approaching, cranky, impatient and very loud to everyone –and that’s on his good days, let alone after having such a long day.

“What do you keep in that office anyway?” Luhan asks curiously, quirking an eyebrow. There can’t be many things stressful enough to disrupt Chen in the lifetime, so he’s intrigued, in spite of his generally idle condition in this moment. What could he be hiding in that office? State secrets, a treasure map, a national treasure? If Chen is a terrorist, they would know by now, right? So it can’t be a bomb or anything…A smirk appears slowly on Chen’s lips.

“Baek’s suit for the gala”

“Oh…” Luhan raises his eyebrows in awe and nods in affirmation. This justifies the secrecy and it all makes perfect sense now. Luhan would have done the same if it was up to him to guard this holy secret. Luhan had almost forgotten about Baekhyun attending the annual gala, with all the turmoil on this day, but he actually screamed loud enough to be heard three floors below in the company, when he saw his name on the attendance list. Needless to say, he barged into Chanyeol’s office and kept screaming in front of a very confused Chanyeol, until Luhan shoved the list under his nose and Chanyeol offered an explanation.

Their first public appearance together, how can you not guhhrgh?!

The Park Company Gala is one of the biggest annual events in the business world, worldwide. It is a charity event, organized by Mrs. Park, and everyone who is important attends; it’s a great honor to be invited. And then, there is the whole package; expensive food, luxurious hotel receptions, well dressed, important and elegant people from all around the world, classy drinks in crystal glasses, concealed judging glances, high profile attitude, incomprehensible conversations, fake smiles, photographers, etc etc. It’s a pain for people like Luhan, who have to cope with an army of organizers for this event and then arrange the paperwork for ridiculous sums of charity donations, but it’s something housewives watch as faithfully as men watch world cup soccer matches, and people discuss about it on tv and magazines for months, in such detailed analysis that not even the Oscars’ red carpet receives.

And for the first time in years, Park Chanyeol is not bringing only his fine presence to the gala or some model that he doesn’t care about and only looks half decent in the pictures; he is bringing someone important with him: Chanyeol is going with Baekhyun. There hasn’t been such a highlight moment since Chanyeol brought his mother to the event –which triggered divorce rumors for the Parks, which Luhan had to deny to anyone and everyone under the profession of journalism for months, yada yada yada. He is deemed a higher-ranked executive since then though, so he has long passed those duties onto the image makers and some misfortunate souls from human recourses, but if anyone asks him this time, Luhan is going to scream on top of his lungs without a moment of hesitation that YES, Park Chanyeol is DATING Byun Baekhyun, and the world is a better place now, period. Or better yet, exclamation mark.

“They are so cute together, aren’t they?” Chen mumbles absentmindedly with a sweet, proud smile on his lips and a dreamy gaze. Luhan follows his line of sight and finds Baekhyun and Chanyeol, standing side by side, outside on the balcony. They’ve been there for a while now; they said they needed some fresh air and quiet, so they excused themselves from the company of the other two, who were busy on their phones. Luhan knows that Baekhyun made the call to Kyungsoo’s parents and that must have been a tough conversation, so he understands if Baekhyun needs space and the support of his other half to recompose himself. Besides, it’s his best friend that got injured today, let’s not forget that.

Chanyeol is tall and Baekhyun is short, but that doesn’t take away any of the devoted focus of the taller on the shorter. They look like shadow figures against the brilliant colors of the sunset, like a beautifully painted picture, rather than two people standing on Luhan’s humble balcony. Luhan is sure, even though he cannot see it clearly due to the intense contrast of light and shadows, that Chanyeol is observing Baekhyun closely and he has eyes only for him, while the shorter is gazing at the view, untangling his thoughts. Chanyeol is guarding him and supporting him with a sort of devotion which is rare. Chanyeol strong and Baekhyun is cute, and the latter has a way of making Chanyeol stronger but also soft, only for him. The smile that flashes in the light of the fading sun is full of teeth, because Chanyeol has too many, but it’s sweet, soft, adoring, bright and encouraging, it’s only for Baekhyun. Chanyeol is finally the man he is supposed to be and Baekhyun is no longer alone if he has him, and he deserves every bit of happiness the giant has to offer him; together they complete each other and make the picture perfect.

Without realizing it, Luhan ends up staring too. He is faintly under the suspicion that he is not supposed to look at others like that during their somewhat private moments, but he can’t help it either –besides, it’s been established in their circle of friends that every interaction between Chanyeol and Baekhyun, even the more private ones if they can get their hands on them, should be marveled by the public aka said friends, and the kissing picture which they all have in their phones has sealed their code of honor. They make sunshine look brighter; Luhan feels peaceful and happy, just by looking at those two. He feels like a part of him is very proud of them and his heart is reassured, the way mothers feel when their children are happy. You can blame Sehun for this newfound sentimentality.

“So, is Sehun moving in?” Chen interrupts the silence and Luhan’s thoughts at some point, crossing his legs with a casual attitude. Luhan gasps and loses sight of the couple outside, because suddenly he feels like he has just been thrown off a cliff, and he chokes on his breath. Chen raises an eyebrow at his reaction but he remains otherwise composed. He shouldn’t be throwing curveballs at a time like this!

“What?! No!” Luhan protests incredulously between coughs, and he keeps hitting his chest with his fist, performing precautionary CPR on himself for good measure. He glares at Chen who is the cause of this near death experience he is undergoing, hoping he won’t have to elaborate on his negative response or on the topic at all. Where does he get those ideas? Chen only smirks knowingly –and Luhan doesn’t appreciate it much, but at least he is given some time to regain his normal breathing pattern.

“Well, it’s because I thought I saw two toothbrushes in the bathroom earlier, that’s all” he shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly, as if this is a light conversation between lifelong friends. By that glint in his eyes Luhan knows that Chen doesn’t only think he saw the toothbrushes, but he knows there are two of them in the bathroom. Everyone who visits the bathroom knows that –they are quite visible inside the glass cabinet by the sink– but no one other than Sehun and Luhan usually wander inside the bathroom, so no one had cared to pay particular attention to a pair of toothbrushes. Certainly, two is one more than it should be, but Sehun has transitioned in Luhan’s daily life so smoothly that a second toothbrush wasn’t surprising; the latter didn’t even give it a second thought, like Chen is doing now.

Of all things, Luhan cannot accept the fact that silly, mere toothbrushes gave away the truth. Wait, what truth?! There is not any secret here! Sehun is not moving in! He just has some stuff here for when he stays over, which might be often, but let’s not take it so far as to call that moving in! There has not been any conversation or even a thought on that matter!

“Yeah, there are two toothbrushes in there” Luhan confirms awkwardly; for one thing, Chen already knows, and for another, he can see this backfiring and he can’t think of a way to prevent it. He eyes Chen warily and shrinks back on his side of the couch, feeling like Chen is a tricky enemy who must be kept at safety distance, in case he tries anything, like you know, read minds. Luhan plasters himself against the armrest and grips it for dear life, gulping uncomfortably under Chen’s concealed but clearly expectant gaze. “One is Sehun’s because he sleeps over sometimes” he admits reluctantly. He doesn’t feel entirely comfortable with admitting that Sehun spends some nights here, but they are in a relationship so it’s sort of expected, right? Chen is the casual type anyway, the awkwardness is just Luhan’s problem.

“Ah…” Chen nods in understanding, relaxing in his seat; but he doesn’t look particularly convinced in Luhan’s eyes. Call him unreasonable, but there’s something in Chen’s voice and his chiseled cheekbones that’s not convincing or reassuring at all. It feels like this conversation is incomplete and that makes Luhan feel under pressure, so he gets defensive automatically.

“He is not moving in, I’m being honest here” Luhan defends seriously, opening his eyes in earnest. Sehun has his own apartment, why would he be moving in with Luhan? They are in a stable relationship and, in that context, so far sleepovers are okay, but they haven’t even thought about something like living together, in the near or distant future. Luhan is happy to have Sehun and he’d like to have him for as long as he can –don’t tell this to Sehun– but it would be absurd to think like that so soon; Sehun is still a kid...right?

“Okay” Chen looks at him in the eyes and agrees easily, maybe too easily, and Luhan has this feeling that Chen doesn’t believe him. You know that feeling that makes you think you are borderline paranoid because you feel like people don’t believe you, even if they say that they believe you, but they don’t really believe you, so your hunch is ultimately right and you might not be that crazy after all?

“I mean it!” Luhan presses with a strict glare, jabbing a finger at Chen, as if he can dictate his will through Chen’s skull. His reaction might be a bit unexpectedly aggressive, and Chen looks at him with surprised eyes, but his lips have that hint of a smirk, which might be one of entertainment because Luhan is so riled up for no reason, but in any case it is enough to fuel Luhan’s paranoia.

“I think I got that” Chen reassures him, his smile slipping out of his control a couple of times on his lips as he speaks. Luhan knew it, Chen doesn’t mean it! Luhan has the ‘UGH!’ feeling of indignation because nobody believes him; he finds himself frothing in quiet indignation but before he has time to open his mouth for a semi-coherent rant about his relationship status with Sehun and the latter’s age, he is cut short by the sound of keys turning inside the lock.

And, as the bright boy he is, Sehun chooses that particular moment in time to open the front door and come inside the house. Luhan gasps the words he’d been meaning to say and he wails inwardly. We got it, universe, you hate Luhan. Because why else would Luhan have agreed only yesterday that Sehun can use his keys whenever he likes? Now it looks extremely incriminating, that Sehun casually uses his own keys to come in the apartment as he likes, doesn’t it? Both Luhan and Chen turn around on the couch to see Sehun come in, with his arms full of grocery bags.

“He has his own keys?” Chen presses in a low voice with a victorious smile, raising his eyebrows at Luhan, as if this has proved his point in absolute finality.

“It’s not like that! He is not moving in!” Luhan growls, loud enough to sound half-convincing, but not as much as for Sehun to hear him. Luhan’s scowl doesn’t make Chen’s knowing smile go away; he has a feeling he’ll never live this one down.

“Luhan, I’m here!” Sehun calls from the kitchen as usual, but this time Luhan doesn’t need to hear Sehun’s declaration like other times; he knows the kid is here alright, and because of that fact he is having a one-sided stare-down competition with Chen, who is already smiling from ear to ear, gazing at Chanyeol and Baekhyun and the sunset. He looks so sure of himself that Luhan wants to punch him and scream into his ear that this is not what he thinks.

“Oh hi, Chen hyung!” Sehun greets in a less loud voice than before, coming around the kitchen door and catching sight of the two men on the couch. Luhan turns to glare at him instead, because why does he have to look so cheery right now?

“Hey kid” Chen greets back, as Sehun takes a seat next to Luhan comfortably and throws one arm around his shoulders. Let’s hope that Chen is not judging in his head. Luhan usually doesn’t mind when Sehun holds him like that, but he is trying to refute Chen’s suspicions at the moment, so he doesn’t like Sehun’s arm around him and touchiness in general; he tries to shake him off, to no avail. Sehun doesn’t even notice, damn him impressive build.

“Aw, look at that! Chanyeollie hyung and Baekhyunnie hyung are so cute together~” Sehun says with a smile on his lips, also looking at the oblivious couple outside. Luhan elbows him lightly in the ribs.

“Don’t call them cute; they are older than you” he chides him; but really, they are cute. They are standing very close to each other by the railing, and it’s not easy to tell, but Luhan can see their pinky fingers slightly twirled in front of the blinding sunlight, and he can see that Baekhyun is leaning his head lightly on Chanyeol’s shoulder, even though it could have been an optic illusion due to the shadows –but it isn’t. They are adorable for trying to be subtle about their relationship and for the way they are in their own world, and for being so innocently in love…

“Their romance is subtle, gentle and sweet, Luhan; you just cannot miss the cuteness in the details” Sehun retorts, still sporting a smile on his lips.

“How would you know about all that?” Chen asks, curious, and Luhan chooses not to participate in this conversation for fear of saying something mushy that he will regret later.

“Girls my age are all for that, hyung; they want the details and the big gestures. So greedy…” Sehun shakes his head disapprovingly. Chen laughs and Luhan pouts; what’s wrong with wanting the big and the small things of love?

“So, are we going to have dinner or what?” Luhan asks, trying to sound detached, but he sounded a tad bit irritated. Luhan dreads it caught Sehun’s attention, and sure enough, Sehun smirks lopsidedly, looking down at Luhan, and Luhan is sure that Sehun knows what Luhan was thinking when he was pouting earlier. Damn, the kid is too smart for Luhan and he can’t get away with anything!

“Okay” Sehun says eventually, after a few minutes of roasting Luhan with his knowing gaze, finally returning to normal “Give me a few minutes to change clothes and I’m ready to go out. We can all go together right?” he directs the question at Chen, who smiles and nods in agreement. Well, at least there is the prospect of good food and company in Luhan’s future, that should somewhat brighten things up. Sehun kisses Luhan’s temple swiftly and then gets up, making a run for the bedroom to avoid the pillow Luhan threw after him. PDA, tsk. Why does the kid always like to make him blush? Those silly things he does…

And if you are thinking Luhan is indecisive, because he kind of wants and doesn’t want those small details of romance that Sehun was talking about earlier, Luhan will have you know that you are mistaken. Luhan has made his decision: he has decided that he doesn’t want to want those things, but he does want them. And that does make sense, okay? End of discussion.

Luhan turns back to Chen, muttering pointless things in indignation and embarrassment after Sehun’s sudden affection outburst. He’ll have to pick up that pillow from the hallway or someone might trip on it later –probably him, when he’ll come home at night, sleepy, well-fed, lazy and too tired to care what he might step on. When he sees Chen, smirking smugly like he knows the answer to the world’s existence, and looking at him suggestively, Luhan remembers their former conversation and he snaps.

“What?” he asks curtly. Chen motions at him to keep his voice down, like this is some sort of conspiracy.

“He has clothes in your closet?” he says, poorly attempting to stifle a giggle. Oh, so it is related to their former conversation. Luhan grumbles in frustration and deflates, falling back on the couch and whining miserably. Yes, Sehun keeps some clothes over for the nights he stays over, and he’s the one doing laundry anyway; he has an entire section in the wardrobe to himself actually, but that doesn’t mean he is going to move in with Luhan. Right?

“He is NOT moving in” he repeats desperately, managing to convince himself a bit more. He thinks how unfair life is, because he is telling the honest truth here, but Chen won’t believe him because unfavorable things keep coming up! Some lawyer he is…

“Suuuure he isn’t” Chen raises his eyebrows knowingly and turns to look at the two lovebirds outside again. Luhan huffs, crossing his arms; he feels like punching and kicking something right now. This has a strong sense of déjà vu, and Luhan is not happy about it, because the last time it happened, it turned out Chen was right.

--

Kai nods politely when the third nurse of the hour walks in, and she shows him a small smile in response –it’s nice of her, the previous nurse didn’t even bother to acknowledge his presence in the room. Everything is so quiet, not just in the room but on the entire floor it seems, with an inconspicuous, constant buzz of medical equipment ringing annoyingly in his ears and making him nervous. There is not much he can do other than sit and wait, and all the faces of doctors and nurses coming and going look the same to him and mingle together in his memory. The young woman walks to the bed and checks the monitors flashing next to it, she jots down some notes and ticks off a few boxes on the paper form she’s holding, then she glances over the body hidden by the covers once, her eyes meticulous in their search to make sure everything is in order, before she turns around, smiles at Kai reassuringly and leaves. That’s the most of human interaction Kai has had ever since the doctor brought him to this room and left him with a slumbering Kyungsoo.

He sighs and leans back in the armchair, gazing at the white ceiling for a change from the usual four walls. It’s been a long time since he last had to stay in a hospital room and nothing has changed for the better from what he remembers. It feels foreign and unsettling to be here. After many corridors and stairs, down some hallway lined with identical doors and smelling of disinfectant, this hospital room is the most depressive yet promising place to be. Kyungsoo is not well enough to leave the hospital, but at least he’s out of critical danger. The sun has set outside, it’s been seven hours and twenty two minutes since Kyungsoo arrived at this hospital, and only now Kai is starting to feel like he can breathe again.

This is supposed to be a double room, but Kyungsoo is the only patient occupying it; at least they can have some peace and quiet after everything that happened. Nothing about the room is comforting, in spite of the hospital’s effort to decorate it as close to a normal room as possible; it’s faceless and unfamiliar, and the monitors in the corner are glaring back at Kai as if they are the only thing in the room. But this room is infinitely better than the emergency area, where everything is cold, sterile and white, harsh lighting and uncomfortable chairs upsetting people even more than the occasional cries of pain, the distressed whispering and medical terms resounding in the large space.

Kai’s phone buzzes in his pocket and he checks it idly, finding new messages from Chanyeol. He asks about Kai’s dinner, if he needs anything, how Kyungsoo is and how Kai is feeling. Kai hasn’t eaten a thing all day but he is not hungry, if he needs anything it would be Kyungsoo to wake up and be healthy again, and he feels empty, blank and heavy. He forgoes all that and answers the only question that really matters, about Kyungsoo’s status, with a short ‘he’s still sleeping’. While all their friends were still gathered a couple of hours ago, Baekhyun called to ask the same question, and Kai told them everything the doctors said and everything he could see for himself; nothing has changed ever since. He is lucky Baekhyun was the one who called, however, because when he started having a breakdown, recalling how incoherent Kyungsoo was when the doctor brought Kai to him and how fast he fell asleep afterwards, both side effects from the medication, Baekhyun comforted him privately, listening to his worries patiently, reassuring him gently and helping him relax and feel a little better. He doesn’t know what he’d do without his friends. Chanyeol reminds him to eat and get some sleep, and that they will be visiting tomorrow. Kai sighs again and sets his phone aside, trying to get comfortable in his seat.

There is a long pause of silence, until a few minutes later, when Kyungsoo stirs under the blankets; it’s not the first time he wiggles in his sleep, unable to move around and prevent the numbness of his limbs. He usually gives up and settles after a twitch or two; Kai’s eyes have become extra sensitive to such small shifts, always ready to catch the tiniest hint of discomfort or awakening. Kyungsoo stills under the covers, as expected; but he starts moving again after a few moments, under Kai’s watchful gaze. Kai quirks and eyebrow and perks up in his seat; the way he moves seems too delicate and deliberate to be subdued by sleep and medication. Could he be waking up?

Before he has time to finish that thought in his head, Kai jumps from his chair and stumbles to the bedside as soundlessly as possible, his eyes wide and his heart beating fast inside his chest as he looks down to check on Kyungsoo. Two big brown eyes, bloodshot and bruised, blink back at him. Kai nearly screams in relief, his fingers tightening around the fistful of bed sheets he grabbed earlier. His eyes open wider in surprise, his heartbeat turning frantic. Kyungsoo looks at him in confusion for a moment, and then he frowns down at his body, looking like an uneven lump under the covers. He seems a bit disoriented, but it’s nothing like the unfocused gaze and incomprehensible mumbling Kai witnessed the first time.

He’s been waiting for this moment all day and yet, Kai doesn’t know what to do.

“Jongin, water?” Kyungsoo croaks out eventually, trying to rearrange his body and failing again with a groan. Kai scrambles to fetch a glass of water from the table, his hands shaking. He runs back to Kyungsoo, afraid that the latter might pass out any moment, and he helps him drink a few gulps of fresh water through his dry lips. The seconds feel like hours, until Kyungsoo nods and pulls away from the glass, scrunching his nose in annoyance when his head meets the pillow; he doesn’t look very happy with his situation, but at least he doesn’t look like he’s in great pain either.

Kai abandons the glass on the table and sits on the empty space next to Kyungsoo on the bed. He fluffs up his pillows before helping him lie down again, hopefully a bit more comfortably. His lips are glued the entire time, uncertain of what to say. He examines Kyungsoo closely, as if he’s any different from a few minutes ago, when he was still sleeping. He is still pale, making the blue shadows under his eyes stand out more, his eyes are red and there is a plaster on his forehead, near his hairline. He looks worse than tired and sick; Kai almost feels bad that he has to keep himself awake.

“Do I look that bad?” Kyungsoo asks, his eyes squinting in distaste, as if he’s afraid to hear the answer. Kai winces with the pang of guilt he feels in his chest, knowing that it’s his stupidly stunned reaction that led Kyungsoo to that conclusion. If Baekhyun was here, he’d be acting normally, he’d know what to do; but here Kai is, completely lost on what words to voice out. It’s ridiculous that he can’t find something to say to the most important person in his life.

“No…” he answers, shaking his head. Kyungsoo looks bad but it could be worse, Kai has seen it in his nightmares; just that he is alive and he’ll be healthy soon is better than anything Kai had been expecting. Kyungsoo doesn’t look convinced and Kai decides to change the subject, now that he’s found how to move his lips again. He wets his lips nervously and speaks quietly, looking at the smaller man timidly. “Do you remember…stuff?” he asks; the doctors said they tested him and found no indication of memory loss, but Kai cannot imagine how they did that earlier, when Kyungsoo was still incoherent from the medication. It doesn’t hurt to double check, right? Kyungsoo frowns and focuses on the wall for a moment, checking his memory for himself.

“I’m confident I remember everything, even how I got in here. But feel free to check me” he decides in the end. He sounds very confident and his voice is the same, in spite of his changed appearance; it helps Kai see in him the Kyungsoo he knows and loves. Kai tries to find a question that Kyungsoo wouldn’t be able to answer automatically or superficially, but his brain short circuits repeatedly and he ends up asking the first thing that pops in his head.

“Who is Chanyeol?” what an ingenious question, truly. Kyungsoo seems to think so as well and he raises a judgmental eyebrow.

“My best friend’s recently acquired boyfriend” he says flatly, unamused. Okay, so he remembers Chanyeol and Baekhyun, and everything up to very recent developments even. Kai nods and gingerly tries a more sensitive question, trying to ignore the way Kyungsoo is pressuring him with his glare to do better with his questions.

“Where were you this morning?” he starts, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt nervously. Kyungsoo said he remembers everything about how he got here but Kai feels the need to confirm that Kyungsoo remembers them together and their plans. A thought crosses his mind and he glances at the window briefly. “It’s almost nighttime, by the way” he adds quietly. Kyungsoo’s eyes widen at that.

“Wow, it’s late…” he muses, surprised that he’s missed a whole day in here. Kai presses his lips in a thin line and nods, understanding Kyungsoo’s earlier disorientation, but he doesn’t say anything, waiting for Kyungsoo’s answer his question. Kyungsoo blinks a couple of times, tuning back into the world and coping with this revelation before answering. “Um, okay. My house, then your house? The last of my things were in the car; I didn’t get to bring them upstairs though” he explains easily, pouting a little when considering the loss of the things he had in the car with him and which are certainly broken now. At this point, Kai is sure that Kyungsoo is not missing any fragments of his memory, and a wave of relief washes through him, but more questions spring into his mind, appropriate for the situation, and he gushes them out with a worried frown.

“What’s your mother’s name? Where did you attend middle school? Where do you work?” he doesn’t really give Kyungsoo time to answer in between the questions, bombarding him with them, more to prove a point than expecting an answer. He really can ask good questions! It must mean that it’s okay if he’s here, that he’s not useless and good only for discomforting Kyungsoo with his presence. Kyungsoo shakes his head strictly, but there is an entertained smile on his lips. It’s clear that he’s not planning on answering any of those questions though, and Kai deflates on the bed beside him.

“Okay, that’s enough; the doctors checked me earlier too. I remember everything, I promise” he reassures him, bringing out his non-bandaged arm to hold Kai’s hand above the covers. Kai’s pout wobbles as he looks down at their linked hands; Kyungsoo’s hand looks frail but it’s warm, and Kai twists his wrist to intertwine their fingers. He feels a little better after that. “Are you here alone?” Kyungsoo asks then, looking around as much as his pillows allow; he looks like he already knows the answer though.

“The others were here, but the doctor sent them home earlier; they’ll visit tomorrow” Kai assures him, his thumb caressing Kyungsoo’s hand comfortingly. Kyungsoo nods, not surprised in the least with the information. There is a moment of silence and then Kyungsoo looks down at his body as far as he can. He seems a bit self conscious about his condition and he scrunches his nose in disapproval before lying back down.

“It doesn’t feel bad, but does it look bad?” he asks in a conspiratorial whisper, his lips curling on the side in repulsion. The sour and apprehensive expression makes Kai chuckle, because it looks so cute on Kyungsoo’s features, in spite of their worn state. Kyungsoo’s big eyes widen a bit in offence at Kai’s reaction, but the taller only ruffles his hair playfully, finally feeling more comfortable and confident around Kyungsoo in this strange setting. His Kyungsoo is right here, under endless lengths of gauze and white bed sheets, he hasn’t gone anywhere.

“Hi, princess” he says finally, his hand falling from Kyungsoo’s hair to caress his cheek affectionately. He should have said that a while ago. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes exaggeratedly, since he can’t move any other parts of him to express his emotions.

“Well, yes, hi, but princess?” he judges Kai with his soulless glare, raising a disbelieving eyebrow “Really? Even now?” he presses in disapproval, glancing down to the rest of him. Kai chuckles at him again –thank god Kyungsoo can’t punch him for that.

“Always” he confirms, his fingers grazing Kyungsoo’s cheek one last time before pulling back. Kyungsoo might not be in the best state imaginable, but that matters little to Kai; Kyungsoo is the princess, the precious, capricious, gentle monarch of his heart. Kyungsoo sighs heavily, to show how displeased and exasperated he is –Kai is certain he would have been punched by now if Kyungsoo could move. “How are you feeling?” he asks, tightening his hold on Kyungsoo’s fingers momentarily to get his attention; it works.

“Like I’ve been hit by a truck but I’m wrapped in cotton candy” Kyungsoo groans, trying to move again, unsuccessfully. It’s probably due to the medicine rather than his actual injuries, which means it will fade away at some point. Kai can’t stop his smile at the comparison Kyungsoo just made, and the latter checks his uncooperative body briefly once before he looks up at Kai again. “I guess I’m close to the truth…” he quirks an eyebrow and Kai laughs at that.

“It could be, yes” he agrees; it was just a normal car that collided into Kyungsoo’s parked car for unknown reasons, and gauze is fluffy material even though it’s not exactly cotton candy, but Kyungsoo is indeed close to the truth overall. Kyungsoo is smiling too when Kai calms down, and the sight tugs at Kai’s heart; he is so tired and injured but Kyungsoo still finds the strength to smile. “The doctors say you’ll get better soon” Kai says more quietly, bringing Kyungsoo’s hand to his lips for a gentle kiss, careful not to jostle the IV or the rest of Kyungsoo. The shorter rolls his eyes again and gives Kai a wide-eyed look.

“When is soon?” he demands, sounding already bored of the hospital. It’s a question he knows Kai can’t answer, so he huffs right after, pouting at the wall and conjuring who knows what evil escape plans in his head; if there is one person who can escape from a hospital and move on to world domination, it would be Kyungsoo. Kai watches him quietly for a while, letting his feelings sway calmly inside his chest. All the relief is making his previous anxiety turn to sadness, and his uncertainty is turning into disappointment and hope in the same time. All those tragic versions of the future that his brain came up with while waiting for Kyungsoo to wake up are now becoming grey memories that make him thankful for everything he’s now given but also so insecure.

What if he’d lost him?

“I’m sorry this happened” he confesses in a low, strained voice. If Kai weren’t so enthusiastic, if Kyungsoo had moved in another day, if Kai had picked him up instead of agreeing to let him drive himself to their apartment, if he’d been downstairs to welcome him inside sooner, and another million ifs later, this wouldn’t have happened. Kyungsoo breaks out of his own reverie and looks at Kai with honest, wide eyes.

“It wasn’t your fault” he refuses, squeezing Kai’s fingers comfortingly, his large eyes sparkling. Kai knows it wasn’t his fault, no matter if it feels like it now; he’ll be able to see things more reasonably when he’s calm. But the crippling fear that he could have lost Kyungsoo so suddenly remains in his stomach, gripping his heart tightly.

“I was so scared” he whispers, choking a bit, and before he knows it, tears are overflowing his eyes and he is breaking down, letting his worries flow in wet drops against his cheeks. He is being so childishly selfish, crying and seeking comfort from the very person who is suffering in this moment, but he can’t convince his tears to stop; suddenly he has very little control over his composure and he can’t hold together, like the petals falling from a ripe flower. Kyungsoo’s eyes widen in alarm, and he lifts his hand to wipe away as many tears as he can.

“Hey, don’t cry” he pleads gently, pulling Kai closer until the taller is splayed on top of him over the covers in an awkward hug; it makes him feel more guilty to show such weakness in front of Kyungsoo, now that the shorter needs him, but he can’t deny that it feels comforting to be this close to him again, touching him, feeling his heartbeat, listening to his breath. Kai doesn’t care his back hurts like this or that Kyungsoo smells like clothes detergent and antiseptic; he’s only grateful to be close to him, letting his sweet warmth, his steady breath, his discreet scent sink in. Kyungsoo combs his fingers through Kai’s hair carefully and Kai leans in to the touch. “You’re such an idiot, I’m the one who’s in pain” he says with a chuckle over Kai’s head. Yes, he’s an idiot, a big, big idiot.

“I thought you’d leave me” Kai rasps pathetically against Kyungsoo’s neck. Kyungsoo holds him closer, as much as he can, accepting him even when he’s selfish and childish and weak.

“I wouldn’t let you go so easily, Jongin” he says quietly, making his heart skip a beat or two.

--

Kyungsoo is BORED, in capital letters, closing to bold front. He is sick and tired of watching the same walls and ceiling all day, and, between you and him, he is tired of staying in bed all day. By all means, feel free to gasp aloud at this revelation. You can fear for the apocalypse coming soon now, because this is not possible in any other concept. Kyungsoo loves staying in bed, and all his life he thought he was too stressed and busy, and he wished he could stay in bed forever –especially on lazy Sunday mornings, oh the prayers–; but after two days on this hospital, he is tired of the bed, okay? There, he said it. What else is he going to say, god, he can’t believe he is saying this…Could it be the medication?

It’s his second day here, the third if you count the day of the accident. He has spent less than forty two hours awake in here and he has already memorized the room to the last of its imperfections; he could probably paint it in detail from memory. Now Kyungsoo knows that boredom must be the biggest reason for people to hate hospitals. Because everything else is not so bad. The food is average, maybe it could use a bit more salt, but everything else is fine. Everything is clean and tidy, people look after you, you don’t have to work, there is a window to the hospital garden which provides him with fresh air and a view, and his injuries don’t hurt that much; his painkillers keep him happy. He doesn’t even realize how badly he is injured.

He is fine. Mostly. Okay, his ribs hurt sometimes if he shifts in his sleep, and, sometimes, it hurts when he breathes, but the doctors say he is fine all the time, and that makes his biggest concern after the surgery be whether there is going to be a scar or not when the bandages are removed. His head is fine too, as proven after a million tests on it. He cannot get out of bed because his right leg is broken –and he would use handles, but his left arm is a bit mummified too, which means he cannot put pressure on it. So he is stuck in bed and he can’t even move much on it. But he is perfectly fine! Even if it doesn’t sound like it, now that he thinks about it…

He is not alone of course. The doctors come to check on him three times a day and more nurses than he can count come and go all day –most of them quietly, but some of them are willing to engage in friendly conversation to put him out of his misery for a while. For a person with such a hefty schedule of tests and medical examinations, Kyungsoo is remarkably bored all the same. There is a tv in the corner and, since he is the only occupant of the room, he can watch anything he likes, but he cannot watch chick flicks while he is here for obvious reasons, and he’s never really had an interest in discovery channel…

And of course his friends come to visit all the time. Kai spends almost the entire day here, even if those chairs look very uncomfortable and he must be neglecting his work, and he won’t hear Kyungsoo when he tries to convince him that he is fine and he doesn’t need any extra babysitting on top of all the care the hospital stuff are giving him. He says he knows hospital rooms are lonely and boring, because he had to stay in such rooms himself, after his waist surgery; Kyungsoo always dismisses the argument without agreeing, not to give him any more credit, but he unavoidably knows that Kai speaks the truth. But let’s talk about the clingy idiot in another paragraph.

Lay visited this morning with best wishes from Suho and a huge, larger than life bouquet of flowers. Chen has come by twice, once with Baekhyun and once by himself, but he is super busy these days so he cannot stay for long; he only teases Kyungsoo a bit to make him laugh and then off he goes, like a busy bee. Luhan came with Sehun yesterday, making noise as always, and Kyungsoo’s leg cast got suddenly littered with ‘get well soon’ wishes in bright, colorful inks, which is so childish and Kyungsoo has evidence to prove it this time: the only wish which is not written by Sehun or Kai, is written in wobbly letters from the little girl who is hospitalized next door, and she is like seven years old. So what does that tell you about their mental age?

Chanyeol and Baekhyun are by far the most normal visitors Kyungsoo has had so far. Kyungsoo didn’t know Chanyeol could keep his booming voice down for a prolonged period of time, but he is always speaking very softly when he visits –even though it is not entirely necessary, since Kyungsoo is alone in the room and there is no one to disturb. Baekhyun, on the other hand, is always very cheerful and bright, talking incessantly about work and anything else he can think of; anything except for the things Kyungsoo wants to know. He had to put Baekhyun under mild interrogation to get the details of his –only– two romantic dinners with Chanyeol, goodness gracious this man! Needless to say how Kyungsoo writhed in glee throughout the narration, and his ribs were hurting, but he didn’t mind. Kyungsoo is content with watching the small smiles and stares those two exchange inadvertently when they are in his room; and the way Baekhyun lit up when Chanyeol came back with tea oh, to be young and in love…

Speaking of love, Kai seems determined to stay by Kyungsoo’s side, now more than ever. He has always had a bizarre and completely inexplicable and alien in origin persistence when it came to sticking by Kyungsoo’s side, and now it is all that, times ten! He is always in the room, like a permanent addition or like the furnishing. Even when Kyungsoo leaves to have himself examined and tested in other rooms, Kai stays behind and waits patiently until Kyungsoo returns. In these rare hours of solitude, Kyungsoo hopes that Kai is not consuming his brain cells thinking more of his oh-so-notorious ideas; it is better if he doesn’t think at all, like, preserve the brain cells. Kai doesn’t seem to hold back on anything these days though. The number of smiles and hugs are beyond counting by now and the effort he is putting into cheering Kyungsoo up, and teasing him, and keeping him busy and entertained is nearly superhuman. Kyungsoo is very thankful; and that is the problem.

If it was small gestures of concern, Kyungsoo would react with a reassuring smile. If it was playful, childish whining, Kyungsoo would react like a strict mother. If it was displays of affection, Kyungsoo would react by shooting them down, throwing a punch –with his good hand– and then try to make up for their loss with smaller responses of interest. But now, it’s none of that and all of that. Not even his family –who will be visiting at some point in the next few days when Kai won’t be around– are so close to him and, even if they were, it wouldn’t feel half as warm and steadfast as it feels now.

Kai is very deeply concerned and he tries to cheer him up in every way humanly possible, and he shows Kyungsoo that he loves him to the last bit of everything he has in him. And Kyungsoo is really, honestly, so incredibly thankful, but he doesn’t know how to say it or show it. All those years of disappointing experiences that ruined his heart have left him crippled, and he chokes on his words or his body freezes every time he tries to say thank you and I love you.

This time, it’s not about Kai, and how he deserves to hear it. This time, it’s about Kyungsoo, and how he wants to say it. He must find a way.

Kyungsoo checks the time. It’s been an hour since his last test and he is supposed to be sleeping, that’s why he is alone in the room. Kai had to meet someone at the company for something, which is not surprising, and since Kyungsoo had no way of predicting that he would be tormented by thoughts that wouldn’t let him sleep, he sent his idiot away with a sense of relief. Now he realizes there is nothing to be relieved about; he’s bored like a lazy camel. Kyungsoo starts counting the seconds with his fingers drumming on his leg. When did Baekhyun say he would be coming again?

--

“Do you think this isn’t pastel enough?” Baekhyun asks in a weird way that makes his tone and syntax clash, resulting in Kyungsoo not comprehending the question at all. Baekhyun squints pensively at the two pieces of fabric he is holding side by side, moving them around in the air until he is satisfied with the lighting. Kyungsoo looks at his friend’s body, strangely bent to hold the fabric samples where he wants them to examine them seriously, and he wonders how long Baekhyun will last in this position, then he looks at the pieces of fabric themselves. He raises an eyebrow and looks back at Baekhyun as if he’s completely insane.

“Are you kidding me?” he snaps, and Baekhyun focuses on him with an innocent blink. Kyungsoo glares at his friend, who is holding two pieces of powder blue color –see, Kyungsoo is making an effort to describe the color accurately and have artistic sensibilities– which, however, look exactly the same to him! What is Baekhyun even comparing? Baekhyun seems to understand his bewilderment and starts explaining.

“I think the left one is a bit more grey and it might look dull-hey!” he drops the fabrics and frowns at Kyungsoo offended, picking up the fabric sample Kyungsoo just threw at him and waving in under the latter’s nose indignantly. “Don’t you throw dusk clouds at me!” he protests, pouting cutely. Kyungsoo shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly; he just picked a sample randomly from the patchwork of different hues of blue laid over his blanket, it’s not like he had been aiming for dusk clouds in particular –how does Baekhyun even remember the names of so many colors by heart?!

“What sort of name is that?” Kyungsoo retorts, motioning to the fabric Baekhyun is nursing in his hands, still pouting at Kyungsoo like he’s responsible for hurting it –and it’s not even damaged, but it makes him feel the need to defend himself. “That’s just…blue! Ish…slightly purple-y and grey-white-ish…?” Is that even a legit color combination?

“Dusk clouds” Baekhyun enunciates, as if Kyungsoo is a toddler. Kyungsoo groans and Baekhyun smirks victoriously, like a smug puppy, tucking away the blue-ish-slightly-purple-y-grey-white-ish offender; there is no way he’s using those ridiculous names people give these colors. “Are you bored, or tired? Should we stop?” Baekhyun asks then, with honest concern in his eyes, all former bickering forgotten. Kyungsoo takes a moment to think about what he wants to do, but Baekhyun interprets this as his answer and he starts gathering stuff from the bed, to organize and then pack them, no longer intent on doing something productive with them; Kyungsoo sighs and helps him gather the fabric samples faster. His friend really knows what he needs better than himself sometimes, and some casual chatting and rest sound good to him, admittedly.

Today has been a long day. Kyungsoo’s family visited in the morning, meaning, his mother came to fuss over him and his father came to make sure his mother wouldn’t go too wild with the babying of her very adult, very optimally recovering, very well taken care of son. She asked a million questions about his health –she even asked the doctor for Kyungsoo’s intestinal activity, talk about psychological traumas in this life, thank god his father intervened in that wildly embarrassing situation and prevented the doctor from answering– and then she started questioning his whereabouts at the time of the accident –his father also stopped that conversation as soon as he could and thankfully Baekhyun had already half-lied to her that Kyungsoo had been there to visit a friend of theirs, since she doesn’t know anything about Kai, let alone his plans to move in with him; she doesn’t even know he’s gay, so that’s that.

She went on to ask about his days at the hospital, his tests, his friends visiting and how’s business in general, and Kyungsoo managed to keep the conversation casual, even at the parts he had to phrase carefully about a certain idiot that the nurses are used to being around by now. When she pointed out the scribbles on his leg cast and the names, he nearly had an aneurism to be quite frank, but he dismissed it as nonchalantly as he could, claiming that a few kids from the hospital and some silly friends of his had written them. She had started snooping around too much and Kyungsoo’s father sensed his discomfort, so it wasn’t long before he convinced her to leave and let Kyungsoo rest, after Kyungsoo promised her he’d call every day and visit them as soon as he could; it was a close call with her asking to visit him after he’d be discharged, to help around the house, and Kyungsoo had to play the ‘Baekhyun’ card again, assuring her that his friend, whom she adores, would help him. He couldn’t say that he has moved out of his apartment and he’s staying with his boyfriend now, could he?

He ranted about all this thoroughly, when Baekhyun came this afternoon, bringing some of his materials. Baekhyun listened to him attentively and then offered to distract him with work; poor thing has to manage all their events by himself now, without Kyungsoo, and Sehun helps as much as his second job allows but that’s still not enough. Kyungsoo knows how much work Baekhyun has to shoulder by himself, and even though he stays optimistic as always, he looks a bit tired; he’s the type not to impose on other people, so he’s probably handling more than he lets others know. Kyungsoo wouldn’t be surprised if he stays up till late at night, answering e-mails and scanning magazines. It was refreshing to be around Baekhyun while he’s working for the evening though, even if that meant that the hospital room turned into an impromptu studio for a while. Baekhyun has packed nearly everything by now and it looks the usual, boring room it is once again.

“You could tell me that thing you said you’d wanted to tell me before Chanyeol came in yesterday…” Kyungsoo baits, raising his eyebrows with interest and pretending to play with his covers between his fingers. He knows he’s failing to look nonchalant or discreet but who cares about pretences?! He has been dying to know what Baekhyun had meant to tell him yesterday about him and his boyfriend, before said boyfriend came in the room with a huge smile, to see Kyungsoo for a bit, before leaving with Baekhyun –consequently leaving Kyungsoo to boil in curiosity till today, unknowingly inflicting torture to a man who’s already hospitalized and helpless. But Chanyeol is not around now and Baekhyun will be taking himself home today –he said so earlier–, Kai or anyone else won’t be visiting either, so it’s the perfect time to open that conversation again.

“Oh…right” Baekhyun deflates at the reminder, putting his stuff aside with a sigh. His reaction makes Kyungsoo even more intrigued, especially when it’s followed by his friend straightening his posture and clearing his throat, like he’s planning to say something important, but from the look on his face, he seems a bit conflicted on whether he wants to say at all. It’s very confusing but Kyungsoo thinks it’s also very promising; this must be big. “Well, as you know, Chanyeol and I are dating now, and we’re both very happy about it; he’s a bit more confident than I am in some aspects-” he starts rambling and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes; he has waited a day, he just wants the news, spare him the preamble.

“I’m going grey here” he interrupts Baekhyun with a deadpan expression. Baekhyun stops mid-sentence and looks at Kyungsoo in the eye, still looking hesitant. Kyungsoo groans in exasperation when his friend can’t decide what to say next and he throws his good hand in the air. “Say it, Byun!” he urges him, with raised, expectant eyebrows. Baekhyun frowns a takes a big breath.

“He asked me to go to the Park Company Gala with him and I said yes!” he exclaims back begrudgingly, so fast that it all sounded like one word. It takes a moment for the news to sink in and Kyungsoo blinks for a moment, processing. Baekhyun pouts at him, surely sore for being pushed to say this so abruptly, but Kyungsoo ignores his friend’s half-serious sulking and gasps in shock, his eyes growing wide. If he had a heart machine attached to his body, it’d be going crazy right now. He just can’t believe it.

“No way! Are you being serious with me?” Kyungsoo exclaims, loud enough for three rooms down the hall to hear, and he awkwardly fans himself with his good hand to calm down. That strategy doesn’t work so well and he starts exclaiming disjointedly in amazement and disbelief for ten minutes straight, earning curious glances from the nurses who pass by his room and making Baekhyun look like he wants to be swallowed by the ground, more and more every second. But, even though he could go on like this for another hour or maybe even longer than that, he has no other option than to calm down eventually, because he feels like he will faint in excitement, his medication is not helping and he is physically hindered from jumping around in glee to express his enthusiasm and protect his sanity. He lets out strangled squeals for a while until he calms down to a reasonable degree, grabbing Baekhyun’s limp hand and shaking it in delight.

“Well, you’re not helping Soo” Baekhyun mumbles with a pout and turns his eyes to the ground with the cutest puppy expression. Kyungsoo stops shaking his hand and gasps in shock. Why is he not rejoicing?! He should be the first on the planet to be crying rainbows of joy and singing something ridiculously cheery, making puppies go bananas with fluffy feels!

“What is there you even need help with?!” he demands incredulously, convulsing on the bed with pent up excitement. Baekhyun glances at him once to make sure he’s okay and then looks to the floor again. “You should be over the moon with me right now, not trying to burry yourself under the hospital floor. Where is your head, Byun? This is a once in a lifetime experience!”

Because who would have ever imagined that Baekhyun, Kyungsoo’s friend and business partner, this little puppy who’s been yipping at blooming flowers all his life, being more marshmallow-y than a unicorn, would be attending the Park Company Gala in this lifetime?! Sure, you might imagine it now, after said puppy-marshmallow-unicorn soul has –finally– landed himself a boyfriend in the form of an exquisite male specimen called Park Chanyeol, but when Kyungsoo first met Baekhyun back in university, he would have never ever imagined that the person in front of him, cute and innocent as hell, shy, small and unimportant to the world, would one day stroll down the red carpet of the most highly expected event of the year, which Kyungsoo has been watching faithfully ever since he can remember himself! Miracles really happen in real life!

“I kind of hope that it is and it isn’t a once in my lifetime experience…” Baekhyun mumbles through his teeth, quirking his eyebrow thoughtfully, but his focus remains on the ground as he starts kicking his shoes bashfully. Kyungsoo’s dropped jaw skews in bewilderment. What is that even supposed to- oh, wait.

Of course Baekhyun hopes and doesn’t hope this will be a once in a lifetime experience for him. For one thing, if this feels so stressful and unpleasant to him, then it would be for the best if it came up only once in his life. Knowing Baekhyun, he would probably do anything in his power to stay off the spotlight on any occasion –there is a reason he is an event planer; he is always behind the scenes and he feels more comfortable there. On the other hand, Baekhyun cannot possibly hope not to attend the annual event in the future, because for as long as he is Park Chanyeol’s boyfriend, he’ll need to be there; first and foremost, Chanyeol wants him there. And who would be dumb enough to leave Chanyeol all alone in the claws of well-dressed, capable, and ambitious women? And of course Baekhyun wants to be there to support him, too. All in all, if Baekhyun hopes to stay by Chanyeol’s side for another year –or possibly forever– he cannot realistically think that this will be the first and the last time, no matter how stressful the prospect seems to him.

“Point taken” Kyungsoo says quietly with a nod, but he returns to his earlier mood quickly; he won’t let Baekhyun wallow in anxiety when he should be glowing in glee! If there is one person excited enough for two people, it would be Kyungsoo. “Anyway, what I meant earlier is that you should be super happy! Why are you so worried?” he chirps, dusting imaginary lint off his covers merrily. His cheeks are starting to hurt from smiling too much but that’s a minor detail at the moment. Baekhyun huffs like a stubborn child.

“Because what if I am not ready for something like this!” Baekhyun explodes in distress, looking up at Kyungsoo and opening his puppy eyes wide. There’s a sparkle of concern in them which softens Kyungsoo’s heart. “There will be too many people there, too many important people; not to mention half of Chanyeol’s family! What if I say something stupid or do something embarrassing, or both?!” he lets out a squeak from the back of his throat and buries his face in his hands. “I don’t want to mess this up; Chanyeol trusts me. But I am as clueless as can be about this whole thing. The only thing I’ll know will probably be the names of the colors they’ll be using for decorations” he whines into his hands miserably and Kyungsoo sighs. Sometimes, when Baekhyun raises his expectations of himself too high, this happens; Baekhyun feels small. And he is small; but he is never alone.

“As if Chanyeol would let you do something inappropriate…” Kyungsoo tries to sound more confident than usual to reassure his friend. But honestly, he thinks that Chanyeol is probably just as nervous about having Baekhyun formally introduced to the world and to his family as his boyfriend, so, on that night, he will be alert, watchful and prepared more than ever, enough for the both of them. Besides, he’s the only person who knows the best way to take care of Baekhyun, who understands him so well and can give him exactly what he needs; with Chanyeol by his side, completing him, Baekhyun has nothing to fear. Noticing that Baekhyun is not showing any signs of recovery from his anxiety bubble, Kyungsoo amends “But I understand that you have reasons to feel nervous”

“Thank you!” Baekhyun suddenly exclaims, revealing his red face and throwing his hands in the air “Finally some support!” Kyungsoo holds up one finger.

“However,” he presses strictly, and Baekhyun’s face falls with his arms. Kyungsoo keeps his voice level, even though half of his mind is urging him to punch some sense into Baekhyun, or maybe punch him for being so utterly adorable and pouty, but punch him in any case. “I am not sure if anyone ever feels ready for this sort of thing, Baekhyun. Sure, it’s big and important, it’s something unusual for you, and nobody gets to experience it unless they are Byun Baekhyun, because you are the only person who has Park Chanyeol’s heart-”

“You would be attending too, as Kai’s date, had you not been hospitalized!” Baekhyun interjects, adding a frown of his eyebrows above his pouting lips. Kyungsoo pauses his speech for a moment and thinks of Baekhyun’s words. Damn, he hadn’t thought about that.

But his friend has a point; Kai attends the event every year, naturally, since he is a friend and associate to the Parks –and now that Kyungsoo thinks about it, how come he didn’t recognize him the first time they met? He watches the red carpet religiously every year, and Kai is always there, year after year…Maybe it’s because they met in a dimly lit club…Well, anyway. Since they have been together for a considerable while, and they’re even living together now, Kyungsoo would have been Kai’s date to this year’s Gala, probably. If it weren’t for this accident and the resulting mobility restrictions, that is. Given the present state of affairs, Kai won’t be attending the Gala this year at all, because he very democratically decided and announced to Kyungsoo and Chanyeol that he will be staying with Kyungsoo at the hospital on that night, like every other night, end of conversation.

And he’ll probably not miss it either, since he has attended the event many times before, but Kyungsoo…oh, Kyungsoo…Stupid flowering car accident, taking away my chance to attend the event I have been dreaming about all my life! Ugh, life is unfaiiiiir…

But there is always next year, that’s comforting…

If we assume he’ll still be with Kai this time next year. It sounds like a safe bet, but let’s not jinx it.

“True, but it’s not the same and you know it” he says in the end, looking at Baekhyun levelly. Baekhyun sighs dejectedly and nods once. Being Kai’s date doesn’t attract half as much attention as being Park Chanyeol’s date, because it’s his family who organizes the gala, his company, his name. “You are the one who is with Chanyeol, Baekhyun. You are really together, in everything; and that is exactly why you should be prepared for such things in the future as well: you are dating the Park Chanyeol. He is kind of majorly important, in case you forgot. Of course that’s not the reason you are with him, contrary to many other people out there who’d try to get his attention, but it comes with the package. In the future you might be required to attend more events with him, alongside other super-important people and who knows whom else!” Kyungsoo gives him a good look; Baekhyun looks pale and woozy, like he is about to faint due to his anxiety, and Kyungsoo thinks that his friend must be some part crazy, because who faints in anxiety when he has every reason in this world to be thrilled with his life?! But he realizes that he’s not helping much with his current argument, so he changes its course a little.

“Think of it like this: it’s your first official date! Chanyeol asked you to go with him, because you are important to him, aren’t you, I don’t know, exultant! Your boyfriend loves you and he can’t do without you~ And I’m sure you’ll realize it’s not so bad, Baekhyun. If anything, the event will be amazing! And you will have Chanyeol by your side for an entire night of fancy, high-class celebrations. You’d better pose for those photographers and look gorgeous, you hear me? I want keepsakes. I will be rooting for you from here, watching every minute of the red carpet on tv with Kai and popcorn” Kyungsoo offers a wide, encouraging smile. He is screaming internally at the prospect of keepsakes and photographs of the happy couple on that night, but he guesses going into full fanboy mode won’t help his friend much at the moment, so he hides it as much as he can. Baekhyun bites his lower lip in thought for a few silent moments, looking at Kyungsoo.

“Ah, what will I do, Soo?” he whimpers in the end and wiggles in his seat in despair like a helpless puppy. Kyungsoo’s smile falls a little and he sighs in surrender; if anyone can sort out this mess inside Baekhyun’s head, it’s himself or maybe Chanyeol. His friend is not ready to take responsibility for his boyfriend yet, but at least he looks like he is getting there. Kyungsoo decides he won’t let him leave this room today if he has not engraved in his friend’s brain that he is Park Chanyeol’s boyfriend first, so that maybe he can come to terms with his magnificent future more easily the next time he thinks about it. But let’s not overwhelm poor Baekhyun all at once.

“Five minutes to deplore?” he suggests. It’s a little thing they used to do since university, whenever it all becomes too much and they feel on the edge of despair: you give yourself five minutes to whine and shout and complain about your life and the difficulties you are facing –coherency is optional–, sending yourself to the gloomiest pit inside you, but after the five minutes are up, you have to come back to your senses and face your situation realistically and with a hint of optimism –even if that means you’ll end up shouting that you are ‘insert name’ and you are okay, until you believe it. It really helps sometimes; it’s definitely better than feeling blue constantly and getting distracted by your problems and self-pity.

“Okay” Baekhyun agrees with a pout and glances at his watch before his cute crying voice fills the room, letting out an endless array of angst, anxiety, fear, apprehension and nervousness. Kyungsoo watches his friend quietly and supportively, as he is supposed to, but he is not really listening. All the things Baekhyun is incoherently gushing about are not supposed to be communicated anyway; Kyungsoo is not allowed to judge him on anything, not on his attitude, or his choice of words, or on his insecurities, he can’t comment on any of those later. He just needs to be there, understand and accept the fact that his friend is having a tough time. If Baekhyun wants, they can try to talk about his problems later, but these five minutes will be like they never existed even then.

In spite of all the things Baekhyun seems to be worried about, Kyungsoo still thinks that there is nothing to worry about at the end of the day; sure, it’s something unfamiliar and maybe intimidating, but he is Baekhyun. If he could see how lucky he is, not because of his chance to go to the gala but, because he has Chanyeol and he has the best chance to be happy with him, Kyungsoo is sure that Baekhyun wouldn’t mind this upcoming event. It doesn’t matter what other people think if you are happy with the person you love. There is no reason for him to worry that they might not like him anyway, because, come on, it’s Baekhyun, who doesn’t like him? He is sweet and pretty and cute and smart and wonderful, and he is Kyungsoo’s best friend, and he is happily in love with Park Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo keeps his smile hidden, because Baekhyun is deploring right now and he is not allowed to smile, but he is optimistic that Baekhyun will eventually see how lucky he is to be happy and to have Chanyeol by his side.

--

“What should we order?” Baekhyun asks, browsing down the sugar colored page, filled with black, looping letters. The names of the dishes are strange, but there is a very helpful description segment under each dish, for common people like Baekhyun who don’t know how to treat gourmet restaurants like a stroll in the park; everything seems very fancy, even the menu pamphlet itself. The fine china and elegant decorations are pleasantly posh, with a twist of modern, the music is soft and the lighting blends nicely with the natural sunlight, coming through the glass roof of the atrium. It’s like he’s dining in a different country and he wonders how come he hadn’t visited such a beautiful place before; but then he checks the prices and that answers his question. Safe to say it’s above what his paycheck can accommodate on a regular basis.

“Everything looks so good” Chen whines quietly, his nose nearly buried in the menu; Baekhyun can’t say he shares the amount of fascination. Since Chen is more experienced with foreign and unusual cuisine, however, Baekhyun can only blindly trust him on that assessment. He looks around at the sparsely occupied tables –it’s relatively easy to book a table for lunch here, but practically impossible to do the same for dinner–, noticing how well dressed and proper the patrons look, in spite of the early hour, clinking their glasses of wine and eating with finesse. Will people at the gala look similar, I wonder? He promptly shakes the image out of his head before he has time to start worrying over that issue, and changes his track of thought, turning his eyes to the menu again. If only Kyungsoo were able to join them today, he would have been thrilled; he likes this sort of places. Baekhyun ponders if he should send him a picture while he and Chen are here to cheer him up, or if that would end up being more cruel than uplifting for the hospitalized man.

“Don’t you have any suggestions?” he chirps, lifting his gaze to the man seated across from him. Baekhyun can’t make much sense of the dishes and imagine their taste, let alone choose one for himself, but Chen has been to the Blue Swan before and he knows the new chef –technically, Baekhyun knows the chef too, but it’s evidently not the same, since Baekhyun is not the one dating said chef. Chen hums thoughtfully and turns the page; he came directly from the studio but he looks fresh and casual, perfectly fitting in with the luxurious touches of the restaurant.

“I suggest the entire menu; I hear the chef is amazing” his lips curl into a mischievous smile and his eyes glint when he winks at Baekhyun from behind the menu; Baekhyun scoffs, but there’s a smile on his lips too. Of course he’d say something like that…

“You would know” he teases with an easy smile and Chen grins openly; it’s cute how he’s proud of Xiumin. When he told Baekhyun about the elder’s new occupation, Baekhyun felt happy too, mostly because his friend was so excited over the news –Baekhyun suspects he’s more enthusiastic than Xiumin even, which is endearing. He tries to navigate through the menu again, since Chen’s answer wasn’t exactly helpful and they do have to order at some point, but he unsurprisingly fails to pick something. “But seriously, what are we going to order?” he whispers, slightly worried that they’ll inconvenience the stuff, who are very polite people and they don’t deserve that. Chen frowns momentarily and turns another page calmly.

“I don’t know, I haven’t tried any of it” he admits, shrugging his shoulders casually. Baekhyun narrows his eyes at him, not even attempting to look preoccupied with the incomprehensible, confusing menu by this point.

“I thought you’d been here before” he points out in suspicion, very clearly recalling a somewhat recent conversation with Chen about nice, luxurious restaurants, which Baekhyun totally didn’t initiate inconspicuously, in hopes of getting ideas for the future dates he plans on taking Chanyeol, no. Ahem. Chen sighs thoughtfully and blinks up at him.

“Sure, before they changed the chef and the menu” he clarifies nonchalantly before resuming his reading. Baekhyun gapes for a moment but his friend fails to notice, absorbed as he is by the pamphlet; it’s not a novel, why is he so fascinated…his dedication raises Baekhyun’s chances of eating something decent at least, since it’s a given Chen will be ordering for him too, so Baekhyun doesn’t try to reclaim his attention. On the plus side, Chen’s information is still solid, for this place and the rest of his suggestions –for which Baekhyun may or may not have taken notes. Baekhyun takes a moment to speculate, based on Chen’s answer; perhaps he meant to say that he hasn’t visited the restaurant in the past few weeks Xiumin has started working here, but it seems unlikely that he hasn’t tried his boyfriend’s cooking ever before, so he should still be reliable to choose delicious dishes for their lunch today.

“You come to his restaurant for the first time and you’ve brought me with you? Why?” he asks, quirking an eyebrow in bewilderment –not that he is complaining, of course. Why would Chen opt to bring Baekhyun along and struggle through the menu with him, when he could very easily surprise Xiumin in the kitchen and then eat the best dishes prepared for him with extra care by his boyfriend? Chen doesn’t even glance at him as he breezes through his answer.

“Because you happen to be my best friend and we need to talk about the upcoming occasion. Besides, I couldn’t bring someone from work because I plan on actually enjoying this meal” he raises his eyebrows in disdain at the end, as if the prospect of lunch with colleagues seems burdensome to him; Baekhyun nods in understanding, even though he can’t be sure he is translating Chen’s expression correctly. Baekhyun has to give him the first point for certain though; they have a few important and somewhat urgent things to discuss, but they’ve both been so busy with work during the past few days that only lunches, dinners and very early mornings are available for a date. Noticing his silence, Chen looks at him with a reassuring smile and goes on to add “I assure you, he’s a good cook though; he cooks at home whenever he feels like it, and it’s delicious but, well, ‘normal cuisine’ style. We are not exactly the kind to have ‘salmon fillets with herb sauce, quails' eggs and asparagus’ for dinner every night” he recites the last part from the menu with a pompous expression and Baekhyun sniggers. Chen chuckles too, and right then the waiter comes to take their order.

Baekhyun couldn’t be more lost on what they end up ordering, with Chen doing all the talking because, aside from Baekhyun’s cluelessness, there’d also be no way he would be able to pronounce the names of dishes and ask for customized details for some of them. His studious examination of the menu earlier seems to have paid off, as he easily locates everything he wants to order, page after page. Baekhyun watches him silently; Chen knows Baekhyun’s preferences, so he trusts he won’t leave the restaurant with a complaining stomach. The waiter is very polite and helpful, stealing a few glances at Baekhyun every now and then, even though Chen is the only one he’s interacting with. Baekhyun keeps quiet and cracks an awkward smile every time he catches the waiter looking. He politely thanks the man too before he takes their menus and leaves for the kitchen. Chen wiggles his eyebrows at Baekhyun suggestively, having picked up on the waiter’s interest in him, but Baekhyun prevents any such embarrassing conversation with a glare; he has Chanyeol and that’s the only person he’s interested in.

“So, what does he usually cook for you?” Baekhyun picks up their former conversation to make sure Chen won’t start any other, which will surely be about Baekhyun and quite possibly the waiter; Chen can take a hint, but he usually ignores them. The brunet relaxes in his seat and shrugs his shoulders.

“Many things” he answers vaguely but very confidently, as if their domestic tendencies are a given. Baekhyun toys with his glass of water on the table, raising an eyebrow with interest, urging his friend to elaborate, so he can further. Chen picks up on his playful attitude and raises an eyebrow himself. “Byun, if you are under the impression that I can keep that man out of the kitchen, you’re sorely mistaken. It’s the first room he steps into whenever he comes by and it’s generally his favorite room in a house” he defends. Baekhyun breaks into a comfortable smile, being content for now with having riled up his friend a little, and Chen rolls his eyes at him –who is he kidding, he’s smiling too– before leaning forward and lacing his fingers on the table professionally; Baekhyun’s smile dims a little, sensing an oncoming shift of the conversation. “And since we’re on the subject, my shy bunny in love, let me ask this again, but honestly this time: how are you feeling? About the upcoming occasion, I mean” Chen asks, looking at Baekhyun straight in the eye. Baekhyun sputters a little, surprised with the new subject –which they hadn’t been discussing in the first place, where on earth did that come from and how exactly does he resemble a shy bunny?– but Chen waits for him patiently.

“I don’t know…” he mutters eventually, averting his eyes to his fidgeting hands thoughtfully. When he agreed to be Chanyeol’s date for the Park Gala, all he could think of was how much Chanyeol seemed to want this and how happy it’d make him if Chanyeol would be happy too, but since then all he can think of is his insecurities, his shortcomings, all the embarrassing things he could do and a dozen different ways self combustion is possible in public. He has talked about it with Chanyeol of course –they’ve decided to be honest with each other for everything that might be troubling them–, and he was very supportive and understanding; he even assured Baekhyun that he should feel free to cancel everything any given moment without any regrets. To anyone else who has asked him how he feels in the prospect of the big event he is going to attend, he’s been answering ‘I’ll be fine’ and, deep down, he really believes he will be fine, that’s why he’s never once considered dropping out and sending Chanyeol alone to the event. But on those lonely nights, when all he has is his tired reflection, clad in cute pjs, all ruffled and small, it honestly feels like an impossible feat to be a person worthy enough to stand next to Chanyeol. Baekhyun sighs. “Anxious? Excited, flattered, terrified…” he mumbles, lifting his troubled gaze at his friend. Chen gasps and flinches in confusion.

“Why on earth would you be terrified?” he starts protesting, but the waiter returns on cue, bringing them the wine. Chen drums his fingers impatiently under the table and Baekhyun manages a tiny smile at the man who has unknowingly interrupted his friend’s rant. The waiter places their glasses of wine on the table and smiles brightly at Baekhyun before he leaves. Baekhyun turns to his friend, who has already taken his first sip of wine, but he looks calmer at least, the tension he had before the interruption having seemingly diffused.  “Where is Kyungsoo when you need him…” he grumbles behind the rim of his glass, pouting like a child. Baekhyun presses his lips and opts not to answer, sliding his glass closer and taking a sip calmly. Oh yes, he did have that conversation with Kyungsoo as well; it didn’t help much in any practical aspect but it relieved some of the pent up emotional strain. After a few moments of pensive silence, Baekhyun speaks again.

“I have every reason to be scared and insecure about this” he says with a helpless frown “I’m attending such an important occasion and I’ll be by the side of a very important person and his family will be there and just look at me!” he gestures at the whole of himself “I’m plain and ordinary and short, I’m not what a person in my place is supposed to be and I have no idea what to do with myself at such a place” he finishes with a pout, switching his wine for his glass of water, to drawn his worries without fear of getting drunk.

“I don’t think so!” Chen protests, raising both eyebrows; of course he wouldn’t think so, he’s Baekhyun’s friend, he’s not supposed to think so. But the problem remains and Baekhyun opens his mouth to retort but Chen cuts him short. “I don’t think Park thinks so either” he presses more calmly, stealing the words from Baekhyun’s lips. It’s not fair how Chen is using his weakness against him –as if Chanyeol using his super-pout on him weren’t enough–, because there is no way he’d intentionally make Chanyeol unhappy. He deflates in his seat and listens to Chen with a defeated expression, trying very hard to believe his words. “He invited you because he wants you to go and be by his side. He wants to share this experience with you and practically show you off, because he knows what a gem he has. He wants you as you are, not something else. Don’t underestimate yourself, Baekhyun; everyone that matters in your life adores you to pieces because we know you’re a wonderful person” Chen’s sentimental side is showing and it’s really very touching, but Baekhyun remains pouting to keep the conversation from turning too emotional for public standards.

“I’m still short…” he mumbles begrudgingly and Chen laughs loudly at that, just as Baekhyun had intended. The mood between them lightens by a hundred times and Baekhyun secretly smiles too. It’s easy to lead a comfortable conversation with someone you know like the back of your hand and you trust with your life. Chen looks at him with a wide grin after he calms down.

“Well, my awesome powers are limited and I can’t tamper with your height, but don’t worry, I have a full makeover planned for you and you’ll look too stunning for words when we’re done” he says with a confident smirk, which might have been intended to be reassuring, but it isn’t. Baekhyun perks up in his seat, slightly alarmed. Chen is almost too enthusiastic about this to be safe.

“About that makeover…it’s not anything extreme, is it?” he probes cautiously. He has only one fashion designer lifelong best friend, so who else was he supposed to trust to coordinate a presentable look for him, to match with the occasion’s standards? Baekhyun is good at shopping, but he’s never tried assembling a look for a similarly important event before, and he wouldn’t want to take chances with his look for the first public appearance beside his elite boyfriend. There will be pictures and everything! Assigning Chen with the details of his outfit seemed like the safest choice, and it’s definitely more convenient, because Baekhyun has to manage one too many things at work these days, being extremely busy with the events they’re organizing, after Kyungsoo’s accident. Truth be told, he had hoped he’d have more free time to invest in putting this outfit together, to be with Chen and review it more thoroughly, to be more personally involved, since it’s so important. He’d also be able to supervise Chen and keep him from going crazy with his creative side, which you never know when will decide to run rampant.

“You gave me permission to do anything I deem appropriate, may I remind you” Chen tweets, nodding his nose in the air superiorly. Baekhyun wails internally, starting to worry over this ‘makeover’ business. He knows a few things about Chen’s plans, like the fact that his suit is going to be black and tailored to fit him, but said plans extend beyond a simple garment and the person of interest is deliberately kept in the dark by the sneaky designer. Given the current situation, all Baekhyun knows about it is that, at some point later this week, he’ll be thrown to an army of beauticians, hairdressers, makeup artists, and who knows what else, who will have complete and exact orders from Chen on what to do with him in spite of anything he might say. He’ll be helplessly at their mercy.

“Why did I ever waive my veto rights?” he whimpers, trying to work his puppy-eyes-and-cute-slow-blinks trick on his friend, just in case he’ll grace him with any reassuring information about his plans or he’ll agree on giving him back the right to protest. He’s only a few moments into his kicked puppy act and Chen looks a bit calculative, but he has to stop it abruptly, when the waiter rounds their table with their first course. Chen chuckles at his friend who almost got caught –well that would have been embarrassing for a man his age, wouldn’t it– and Baekhyun clears his throat awkwardly, schooling his face into a neutral expression and pretending to be very interested in the artistic structure of their served food –not to imply it’s not admirable. The waiter wishes them to enjoy their meal and leaves them alone again; Baekhyun sighs and deflates, slowly picking up his fork. Chen is still smirking knowingly across from him and Baekhyun is tempted to kick him under the table if he doesn’t stop it in six, five, four, three…

“Why did I ever agree to help you on such short notice?” Chen retorts, smiling carefree before focusing entirely on the food and taking his first bite. He closes his eyes and hums in appreciation, persuading Baekhyun to be more enthusiastic about the food, and now that he looks at it, it’s quite intriguing and appetizing, and it smells delicious.

“Touché” he admits to Chen, shrugging his shoulders noncommittally and starting to pick apart the pieces of his serving with newfound interest and anticipation.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n. Updated, yey!! *o* Nothing band aids can’t fix, and Kyungsoo is just fine, as you can see! –minus some technical details, perhaps hehe This was like a short wakeup call from life; don’t take the people you love for granted, always make sure you leave them with a smile and a kiss, and appreciate them, even when you’re fighting and it seems hard to do so. I’m not saying you should start getting paranoid and worry about them all the time, I’m just suggesting a context which can help you improve the quality of your close relationships. I hadn’t meant to make you so worried about our little Soo though *bows in apology* He’ll keep getting better and healthier from now on, and we get to see more mature sides of Kai!

For the record, hunhan is not moving in together officially, like kaisoo, but it’s been implied they’re practically sharing ninety percent of their not-working time together; should I write a date for them? I feel like I haven’t sent them on a date in a while…Next time we’ll also see a vulnerable side of Sehun, involving his past! Also, happy things are happening at the Park event~ we’ll see Baekhyun transformed, perhaps a kiss, and fanboy Soo making a comeback!

Last but not least, perhaps you remember my mention of exo housewarming ficfest? Well…I wrote something for it!! (my very first participation in a ficfest *-* -and it was amazing!) This means that, after reveals, I’ll be able to share with you a brand new, completed STORY!!! *wild cheering* If you’ve already read all those domestic, fluffy fics, chances are you’ve read my baby too, so you’re welcome to try and guess me (it’s currently ‘guess who’ period) but I’ll share everything with you after reveals in any case! I guess reveals won’t be far, so make sure to check for any new stories of mine ;)))

I hope school and work has started smoothly for everyone, happy Fall and stay warm! Love you~ kitty