The elevator ride is quiet. Baekhyun looks a bit dazed but he is not acting weird or anything. He looks calm, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips –probably a remnant of the earlier fun. Chanyeol wonders what Baekhyun would be like if he was really drunk…but he would never want to find out either, because that would mean that Baekhyun would suffer a mean headache afterwards, and Chanyeol would never wish for his little guy to suffer in any way. This dazed state -as if the world is a strange place that doesn’t really make much sense but that’s okay- is cute though…

Chanyeol smiles secretly, enjoying this new side of Baekhyun, which only he can see; his decision to leave the party seems even better now. Because, no, the others at the party or anyone else in the world is not allowed to see Chanyeol’s Baekhyun in the cutest condition to date: eyes glazed and blinking adorably, cheeks pink and plum lips in almost a smiling pout. We have possessiveness issues…

He asks for his car from a valet at the reception and the boy leaves immediately. Baekhyun is quiet while they are waiting at the reception too, gazing at his surroundings. Chanyeol thinks that maybe he should strike up a conversation casually, just in case Baekhyun feels awkward with their silence, but Baekhyun looks more tired than awkward, and a conversation will be strenuous for him. The receptionist asks Chanyeol repeatedly if he would like a room at the hotel and, on the second repetition of the offer, Chanyeol gives her a curious glance; why is she so persistent? But then he notices that the woman is not looking only at him, but the combination of him and Baekhyun; she must have thought they are…like, together. Chanyeol feels his stomach fluttering at the idea, but he doesn’t want to have this sort of thoughts this late at night, so he just ignores her presence as a whole.

As they walk outside, Chanyeol watches Baekhyun closely, trying to find any signs of unsteadiness or disorientation, but Baekhyun looks perfectly fine. They get in his car and put on their seatbelts. Chanyeol remembers Baekhyun’s address, so he sets the GPS and starts driving. It’s late but they are in the middle of the city, so the lights are bright, the noise is loud and the cars are plenty on the street. They stay quiet for a while.

“How are you feeling? You look tired” Chanyeol asks when they stop at a red light. He is not being motherly or concerned and caring or anything, he’s just polite, yeah, totally. Baekhyun turns to him with sleepy eyes and a small smile.

“Well, how are you feeling? You look double” he jokes and lets out a small laugh. Chanyeol smiles at the airy sound that escapes the other’s lips, but he feels a bit troubled; because what if Baekhyun is serious?! He can’t be that drunk, right? As if he can sense Chanyeol’s worry, Baekhyun sits up straighter and starts talking, in an indirect attempt to assure him he is not as drunk as to see him double. “Thank you for driving me home. It’s a very…responsible rule of your game”

“Don’t mention it” Chanyeol assures him casually. Driving the other one safely home is one of the rules Chanyeol contributed, much to the others’ discontent at first; they thought it was not as fun if only half of them got drunk but Chanyeol was very adamant on his decision, putting safety first; in time, the others accepted the rule as well, and now it’s a given. There is a small silence inside the car for a while and Chanyeol is a bit relieved for that, because he has to take some turns and follow some exits, and it would be difficult if they were discussing in the same time. When the road is mostly a straight line again, Baekhyun speaks, surprising Chanyeol.

“How did you know I don’t drink?” he asks, scrunching his eyebrows in thought. Chanyeol gulps silently, sensing that he can mess up this conversation very easily if he lets his brain express itself freely. Because I’m a creepy stalker who watches your every move…And then, Baekhyun will jump out of the car and run to save himself; no one could blame him.

“You just don’t look like you drink that much” he answers, keeping his eyes on the road, and Baekhyun nods vaguely. Chanyeol doubts his excuse would have borne the same amount of credibility if Baekhyun had been sober.

“Do you drink?”

“I have good alcohol tolerance but I don’t test it very often” Chanyeol admits, feeling more at ease now. He drinks on occasion, like a glass of wine with dinner at a good restaurant, a drink when he visits a bar, maybe two at a club or a couple of shots. But he never drinks the crazy amount some other people drink, at least not after he turned twenty one –before that, considering his drinking habits, things in his memory are a bit fuzzy. He can take more alcohol, but he doesn’t like the disoriented, delusional, depressive, I-won’t-even-remember-this-tomorrow state that comes with it; he doesn’t have a reason to torture himself like that –he prefers having fun, and you don’t need five vodkas to have fun.

“Are you disappointed that we had to quit the game so soon like that?” Baekhyun asks sheepishly, biting his lower lip in hesitation. Chanyeol almost slams on the breaks at the red light in the empty street.

“Baekhyun, what are you saying? You did great!” he exclaims, turning to the smaller male.

“But I only had three drinks…” he mumbles, averting his gaze. Chanyeol finds himself suppressing really hard the urge to reach over and embrace him all of a sudden.

“Yeah; this means that you answered so many questions correctly! You did great, Baekhyun. And three drinks are not a small amount of alcohol for your size”

“So, you are not disappointed?” Baekhyun looks up at him innocently. Chanyeol allows a sweet smile on his lips.

“You are the smartest partner I’ve ever had; why would I be disappointed?” And it’s true.

By the time they reach Baekhyun’s house, it’s really late. Baekhyun is drifting close to sleep on the passenger’s seat and Chanyeol wishes he would let his small body rest for a while but, even though he promised Baekhyun to wake him up when they would arrive, Baekhyun is very stubborn and doesn’t want to sleep for some reason. With a sigh –a small sign that Baekhyun is pulling himself away from sleep, Chanyeol has noticed –Baekhyun looks outside when the car stops and unbuckles his seatbelt. Remembering how Baekhyun lives on the fifth floor and how the elevator is always broken, Chanyeol decides to get out of the car himself. When Baekhyun notices him parking the car closer to the sidewalk and unbuckling his own seatbelt, he gives Chanyeol a bewildered look.

“I need to make sure you’re home safely; rules of the game, remember?” Chanyeol says with a smile. Baekhyun doesn’t complain until they are in front of the building’s door.

“Chanyeol, you really don’t have to-”

“Yes, I have to” Chanyeol stops him easily. Baekhyun is half asleep; his reactions are slower than usual and his eyes are half closed with heavy lids. There are five flights of dimly lit stairs ahead of him and everyone else in the building is asleep. You do the math. Chanyeol will not rest until he sees Baekhyun through his apartment’s door, and he would rather go up and down five flights of stairs than worry if Baekhyun slipped and fell unconscious somewhere to be found limp and pale tomorrow morning.

They reach the third floor at a somewhat slow yet steady pace. Baekhyun seems to be quite in control of his steps, climbing one step after the other mechanically. Chanyeol follows him silently, watching his every step with worry, ready to catch him any moment. Baekhyun might be half asleep and he doesn’t notice, but Chanyeol ends up close behind Baekhyun, his hands hovering on the sides of the smaller male, just in case Baekhyun feels too weak all of a sudden. Half way up the fourth floor, Baekhyun asks Chanyeol if they can stop for a while. They sit on a step for five minutes silently. Chanyeol watches Baekhyun closely; he seems to be sighing more frequently now. Then, Baekhyun gets up and they continue up the stairs, Chanyeol following closely, like he did before.

Baekhyun has a bit of trouble locating the keyhole, but he eventually unlocks the door. He walks in first and Chanyeol sighs in relief. His little sparrow has safely reached the nest. When Baekhyun turns around, Chanyeol smiles brightly, ready to say goodnight.

“Come in” Baekhyun mumbles sleepily. Chanyeol blinks, completely sidetracked. The words he was about to say seem lost irreversibly, stolen in a heartbeat from the tip of his tongue. He is a bit tired, too, and all this is not as easy as it seems. But what did Baekhyun just say? Is Chanyeol starting to hear bizarre things due to fatigue?

“Excuse me?”

“Come in” Baekhyun repeats, adding a gesture which cannot be interpreted any other way “It’s late, you shouldn’t drive so far away” Chanyeol catches up to the other’s consideration and he feels his heart swell and melt with a sweet aftertaste.

“Um, are you sure?” he asks hesitantly. Baekhyun nods.

“If you don’t mind the clothes two sizes too small and the narrow couch…” he smiles “I’d rather you did come in though; it’s really dangerous to drive so late” he finishes with a troubled frown between his eyebrows.

Chanyeol smiles and gets through the door, closing it behind him. He takes off his coat quietly and hangs it on the side, and then he takes off his shoes. In the meantime, Baekhyun sits very still, rooted on the spot, with his head hung between his hunched shoulders. That’s…odd. Holding his breath in hesitation, Chanyeol stoops to check Baekhyun’s face; and sure enough, the man is asleep. Chanyeol smiles; how can he sleep while standing? How can be so adorable? Well, Chanyeol is responsible for him, so he has to take care of him now.

He squats down and places Baekhyun’s hands on his shoulders for balance; even though he is asleep, Baekhyun loosely holds on to Chanyeol’s shoulders. Once he is sure that Baekhyun is not quivering out of balance, Chanyeol starts unlacing his shoes.

“Baek, help me out here” he says softly, tapping on Baekhyun’s right calf. Baekhyun pulls his foot out of the shoe and then does the same on the other side. Chanyeol gets up and checks Baekhyun’s face but he still looks to be asleep. “Hold on to me, okay?” Chanyeol says and turns around, crouching down to take Baekhyun on his back. Baekhyun locks his arms around Chanyeol’s neck and Chanyeol grabs his knees on either side. Baekhyun is so small and light, just like he looks, but he clings onto Chanyeol so firmly that the latter hadn’t expected. Chanyeol’s heart picks up the pace due to the physical contact, but Chanyeol strictly quiets it down; this is not the time for excitement, he has to take proper care of his little Baekhyun.

“I’m like a koala” Baekhyun mumbles sleepily on Chanyeol’s skin, his lips warm, sending goose bumps down the taller’s spine. Chanyeol ignores his lurching gut and smiles at the comparison.

“Yes you are” he answers softly. Their current position is one dead giveaway, but there’s more to the resemblance. He’s as cute as one.

They reach Baekhyun’s bedroom –which is a very nice bedroom, by the way –and Chanyeol sets Baekhyun on the bed. He takes off the narrow vest Baekhyun is wearing, thinking how much this feels like taking care of little child. Chanyeol thinks for a moment if there is any way to make Baekhyun more comfortable. The jeans look really tight, but Chanyeol would never ever dare to take off Baekhyun’s jeans –because who knows what might happen then? He is not really confident in removing Baekhyun’s shirt either. But maybe, just those few top buttons, he can manage, so that Baekhyun can breathe more easily at night.

Chanyeol nibbles at his lips in concentration and glances at Baekhyun; his eyes are still closed and his expression completely calm. Chanyeol takes a breath to steady himself and starts fumbling with the buttons, trying not to scare Baekhyun awake with any sudden move. His innate clumsiness and his trembling hands are not making it easy, and his blood is pumping really fast in his veins, blurring his vision and burning his cheeks. Because, do you realize what he’s doing right now?! After three buttons and a stolen glimpse of pale, velvet skin on beautiful, inviting collarbones, Chanyeol decides that this is his limit. He pushes Baekhyun back gently, making sure the pillow fits under his head the right way. Then, he pulls the covers above him, hoping he will warm up soon.

Just as he fixes the covers under Baekhyun’s chin and is about to leave, Baekhyun’s hand shoots up and grabs his hand, pulling him down. Chanyeol flinches in fright at first, but then, unsure if Baekhyun is completely sleeping in this moment, he kneels on the floor next to the bed, letting Baekhyun tug at his hand.

“Chanyeol?” he asks in a soft, sleepy voice, opening his eyes half way, without particularly focusing on Chanyeol. Still, a small part of Chanyeol rejoices for being so lucky tonight as to cross paths with yet another cute side of Baekhyun. And the more he sees, the more he wants to build a tower and hide Baekhyun inside it.

“Yeah?” Chanyeol whispers unsure. He knows you are not supposed to talk to people who are sleepwalking, but what about this? This is not sleepwalking. Is it okay if he talks? Is he supposed to? Is Baekhyun really expecting an answer in his sleep, or can he even hear him?

“Can you kiss me?” Baekhyun mumbles, nuzzling his nose in his pillow drowsily.

“What?!” Chanyeol squeals in a whisper –yeah, he didn’t know he could make such a sound either, until now. He just caught himself before a full escalated yelp of surprise and a strange, strangled noise came out of his throat. Thankfully, Baekhyun doesn’t seem any more awake than he already is –if he is awake. Back to the point now. What?!

“Can you kiss me?” Baekhyun repeats. Chanyeol’s jaw drops more dramatically than ever before. That’s it; he is hearing things because he is tired. Because how can Baekhyun ask something like that?! Not to mention the things his request is doing to Chanyeol’s insides; his blood is hot all over again and his heart is thumping deafeningly in his ears.

“Why…” he swallows uncomfortably “Why would you ask that?” his breath is hitched, waiting for Baekhyun’s answer.

“I want to know what it’s like” he mumbles.

“What it is like to kiss me?” For crying out loud.

“What it is like to kiss” Baekhyun mumbles back. That is…strange wording. But what if it’s not just because sleep is messing with Baekhyun’s grammar skills? It gives Chanyeol a crazy suspicion.

“Have you never been kissed?” he asks. It sounds slightly silly, but he is talking with a man who is half asleep anyway, so he figures it’s okay. It will be a miracle if Baekhyun remembers any of this tomorrow morning

“No…there never was anyone to kiss” That’s another strange wording. Okay, Chanyeol is going to interpret everything with his hunch from now on.

“You’ve never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend?” he asks in disbelief. Baekhyun is as old as him, right? And Baekhyun is…Baekhyun, I mean, come on! This pretty face, this se*y body, this kind soul, this sharp mind…how can no one have noticed him and claimed him before? He fits many wish-lists, he is like a perfect little angel, and Chanyeol can’t imagine anyone rejecting him. But even if Baekhyun has never made a move, how can no one ever have had the thought and the guts to execute it, to plant a kiss, however soft and chaste and innocent, on those pretty pink lips?

There must be something seriously, and Chanyeol means seriously, wrong with the world!

“No…but you are charming, so, you must have kissed half the planet, right?” Baekhyun smiles at his attempt at sleepy humor.

“No, not half the planet” It was obviously a figure of speech by sleepy Baekhyun, but Chanyeol feels the need to clear it up anyway. He has kissed his fare share of people, but not as many as Baekhyun might think.

“Well, can you help me? I’m sleepy…” Baekhyun yawns cutely and the sight makes Chanyeol’s heart soften and melt in the sweetest way possible. Suddenly, he doesn’t feel anxious anymore; because now he knows what he wants to do.

“Baek?”

“Mmm?”

“I’m not kissing you” he says softly, brushing Baekhyun’s bangs away from his face with a feather light touch. Baekhyun creases his eyebrows slightly.

“Why?” he whimpers cutely in a small voice, making Chanyeol smile protectively over his little guy.

“Because you deserve a wonderful first kiss, Baekhyun, and now is not the time for it” Chanyeol explains in a velvet, deep voice, and leans forward to kiss the adorable frown on Baekhyun’s forehead gently, until it disappears. When Baekhyun’s breathing becomes soft and slow, Chanyeol is sure that he is fast asleep, finally. Chanyeol disengages his arm and leaves the room quietly, glancing back from the doorway to make sure that everything is alright.

Yes, Baekhyun deserves a wonderful first kiss. Baekhyun deserves to remember his first kiss forever and the kiss has to feel magical to him, like from a fairytale –but the story is not the one of the Sleeping Beauty. It must be given to him when he really wants it because of fondness, and not just curiosity. And the blessed person who will kiss him first must be someone Baekhyun really likes; maybe it won’t be Chanyeol, but that’s okay if Baekhyun wants someone else, as long as this person likes him and cares for him, even one tenth as much as Chanyeol does.

Chanyeol has never made a more unselfish wish.

--

Baekhyun opens his eyes lazily. His head feels a bit heavy on the pillow. It must be late, but sleeping late is not troublesome for today, because last night he went out with Kyungsoo, so he must have come home late. How did he come back from Kai’s party again? He can’t remember. He shuffles in his bed, squirming under the covers, and closes his eyes to sleep some more.

The bed sheets are slightly cold under his legs –he kicked off the jeans in the middle of the night because they were too constricting and uncomfortable. At least the shirt is not choking him. He must have taken his vest off with his coat, but he has no idea how he managed the shoe laces. Ah, his head feels even heavier in this position.

With a muffled groan, he changes sides. Kai’s party was really nice last night; the place was a-ma-zing, just like Kyungsoo and Chen had described –oh, right, Chen was there too, but he wasn’t at the party, so Baekhyun will have to call him later and share his news of the night. The people were mostly nice; they were all very polite to Baekhyun, but not all of them were as interesting nor were they all as genuine as Baekhyun would like. They all seemed to like him though. However, there was this one little moment of pandemonium, when everyone was pulling him, pleading for something Baekhyun didn’t know, and he felt really lost and uncomfortable, not knowing which one to ask first and how to help them. Ooh, okay, maybe he is not meant to sleep any longer, because his head feels really uncomfortable.

Baekhyun sits up on the bed, ruffling his hair. His eyes wander in the room without much interest, until he sees something which, according to his calculations, should not be there; why is his vest neatly placed on the comforter chair? Suddenly, he feels a tight grip in his chest. Oh, no.

He remembers now, the rest of the night. How Chanyeol claimed him as his partner and saved him from the crazy people. How Chanyeol looked beautiful and sweet, every time he asked Baekhyun if he was alright, concerned with his lacking drinking habits. How Chanyeol pulled them out of the game, just when Baekhyun was thinking that he had reached his limit. How Chanyeol led the way to his car and then brought him home. How Chanyeol brought him all the way home, making sure he got through the door safely. How Baekhyun asked him to stay because it was late.

And then the memories are not as clear. But Baekhyun is sure someone else took off his shoes for him, because he would have never managed. He is sure he was carried to his bed, because he can’t remember walking here. He is sure someone else took care of his vest and the top buttons of his shirt. He is sure someone else tucked him in under the covers. He is almost sure that, if he walks out of this room, that certain ‘someone else’ will be found sleeping on the couch which is too small for him.

And then there are things Baekhyun would like to forget. Because how could he do this?! How could he allow himself to show how comfortable he feels around Chanyeol? How could he compare himself to a koala –even though koalas are cute –in front of Chanyeol? How could he let himself be guided -embarrassingly- like a child by Chanyeol? How could he allow himself to believe that having Chanyeol around like that felt nice, like one of his dreams? How could he feel so deluded, thinking that this was in fact one of his dreams? How could he ask of Chanyeol to kiss him, for crying out loud?! And then how could he try to cover his secret -and completely inappropriate- wish by explaining that he has never been kissed, making his situation even worse? There have been, obviously, too many mistakes, and he can’t even blame the alcohol, because he was sleepy, not drunk.

Baekhyun wants to disappear.

Okay, first things first. He needs to calm down and clean up before he faces Chanyeol. Oh god, how hard this will be, but he will deal with it when it’s time to deal with it. Right now, he needs a shower. He gets quietly off the bed and picks some clothes to wear after the shower. He makes sure that the clothes are not completely ridiculous –because after last night, facing Chanyeol with ridiculous clothes is the last thing he needs. He picks up his phone on the way, just to make sure that he won’t stay in the bathroom for too long; like, forever, for example. He tiptoes out of the room and dashes for the bathroom quickly, not even glancing at the living room, locking the door swiftly behind him.

He sighs in relief and puts his things aside, ready to take off his shirt and go in the shower, when his phone buzzes suddenly. Baekhyun picks it up carefully, as if it’s a ticking bomb. From Park Chanyeol. That’s strange. Why is Chanyeol messaging him? Isn’t he asleep in the living room? Baekhyun feels a flash of hope; maybe all these were really just a dream! He opens the message quickly, hoping to find answers.

“Hey, Baekhyun. :) You’re awake.”

Baekhyun stares at the message, which, by the way, is not giving him any answers. You’re awake, period. That’s not a question, it’s a statement.

“Yeah, I am. Are you?”

Only after he has sent the text does Baekhyun realize that there is no possibility of Chanyeol texting him if he was still asleep. Ugh, stupid, stupid…

“Of course I am; I saw you running to the bathroom”

Oh, so Chanyeol is in the living room, he’s just not sleeping anymore. So, all this was not just a dream. Why, dear god? Baekhyun sends a pleading look to the heavens and the glances at himself. Chanyeol saw Baekhyun? You mean…He saw him wearing just his shirt?!

“What?!”

“Don’t panic, I didn’t see anything, I mean, I saw you moving, but I didn’t see anything else on you!”

Although the answer came a blink after Baekhyun sent his own panicked question, which means that Chanyeol had been typing it even before Baekhyun asked, the answer itself is suspiciously accurate. I didn’t see anything…I didn’t see anything else on you; which means that Chanyeol did see something on him, he saw, however briefly, that Baekhyun was wearing just his shirt. Oh my god.

“Of course you didn’t see anything! Because I am fully covered, except for the lower 70% of my legs”

He just thought he should make that clear. He doesn’t know how much Chanyeol saw, but he wouldn’t want Chanyeol to misunderstand. Running around the house half-clotheless is not something Baekhyun does regularly, much less when there’s Park Chanyeol in his living room.

“Yeah, well, okay.” “…” “I showered last night and I took the clothes I wore last time (I did everything like last time). Should I make us some breakfast then?”

Baekhyun stares at the three messages Chanyeol just sent. Does he realize how they completely don’t match? They’re thoroughly disconnected; fair to say he’s rambling…How does his head even work? Adorably! Oh, stop it.

“Okay”

Baekhyun answers and goes in the shower. He will keep himself busy with his shower and let Chanyeol keep himself busy with making breakfast. But why did Chanyeol send him text messages? He could have said everything through the door. Maybe he was afraid that Baekhyun would freak out if he suddenly knocked on the bathroom door. Because, well, Baekhyun would freak out.

Twenty minutes later, he gets out of the shower. The jeans are slightly tight again, but he wanted to look presentable and they will do the trick just fine. His knit cardigan is very soft and warm, and Baekhyun finds it a bit comforting. He walks out of the bathroom and half way across the hall he is already hyper ventilating. He can’t look at Chanyeol, he just can’t. But he can’t stay there or go anywhere else either, because he feels the ground becoming unsteady and he needs to sit somewhere and regroup. He walks swiftly into the kitchen.

“Good morning!” Chanyeol chirps happily but Baekhyun doesn’t even risk a glance at him by the stove and takes a seat quickly by the table. He crosses his arms on the table and hides behind his little fortress. He can’t look at Chanyeol in the eyes. It’s too embarrassing. Even for someone who has been as kind and accepting to Baekhyun as him, Baekhyun cannot bring himself to look up. What does Chanyeol think of him now?

--

Chanyeol didn’t fail to notice how red Baekhyun was when he stepped in the kitchen. That helped him feel slightly less hurt, when Baekhyun ignored his good morning and ran to a chair. He hid his face and Chanyeol cannot see his expression, but he is sure Baekhyun is uncomfortable. A part of Chanyeol had hoped that Baekhyun wouldn’t remember the things he said last night, so that he would not feel uncomfortable. There is no reason to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed; Chanyeol finds him perfect anyway.

Did he just think that he finds Baekhyun perfect? What?! Ahem. Okay, let’s not dwell on sentimental enlightenments right now.

Even if Baekhyun is obviously embarrassed, at least he is in the same room as Chanyeol –which is very good, because Chanyeol had scenarios in his mind where he would have to speak through a door. Doors are not Chanyeol’s friends when it comes to communication; they just stare back at you, it’s not helpful at all. Chanyeol clears his throat after a while of silence and Baekhyun tenses in his seat; Chanyeol doesn’t like that, and he is determined to do his best to undo it.

“I’m making pancakes!” he announces cheerfully, in case Baekhyun has trapped the air under there and he cannot smell it. A small silence ensues. Okay, let’s try again.

“Did you sleep well last night?” Chanyeol asks, smiling casually. Baekhyun buries his head even deeper, reversing Chanyeol’s expectations; shoot, abort mission!

“Um…are you okay?” genius question, he knows, but he is running out of ideas, so excuse him. Baekhyun hesitates for a moment and then gives a small nod, to Chanyeol’s surprise. Hallelujah, this is progress! Baekhyun is still hiding, but at least he is responding –sort of…Chanyeol decides to let the pancakes wait for a while, and approaches the table. He sits across from Baekhyun, making sure his clumsy self makes enough noise so that Baekhyun will know where he is and he won’t get scared. Baekhyun pulls back on the table a bit, but there’s not much change after that.

“So, here is the deal: I am a bit dense sometimes” Chanyeol starts, keeping in mind that the mood has to be comfortable and light to loosen up Baekhyun and that he should not expect much from Baekhyun’s answers. “You might not have noticed because I’ve spent years adjusting to humanity’s expectations, but my head is really, hmm, problematic. Kai can confirm that, any time you ask him. Because of my…situation, I often have to ask questions. Do you think you can answer some of them for me? Please?” Chanyeol waits, until Baekhyun gives a hesitant affirmative nod, still hidden. So far, so good.

“You know I consider you my friend, right?” Chanyeol continues. In truth, he considers Baekhyun much more than a friend, but he has to keep it simple for now. In any case, he has told Baekhyun things he has not told anyone, like how his family can be boring to him or how his father is too oppressive; sharing these things makes Chanyeol feel much better in a strange way he has never felt before, because he has never shared things this deep before. Baekhyun nods as an answer to his question.

“Well, you’re right, because I consider you a very important friend of mine. And I like sharing things with you, even if it’s merely through messages on the phone. I think sharing secrets with your friends is normal, don’t you? It means you’re getting closer to each other” Chanyeol bites his lips anxiously, despite his cheerful tone of voice. Baekhyun hesitates a little longer this time, but he nods eventually. Chanyeol sighs quietly in relief.

“Then why are you being like this?” Chanyeol asks in a calm voice and reaches across the table to rest both his hands on Baekhyun’s crossed arms comfortingly “We are friends, so, it’s okay if you share a couple of embarrassing secrets with me, just like it is the other way round. You shouldn’t feel uncomfortable around me; I’m not judging you. You did nothing wrong”

There is a long pause of silence and stillness. Chanyeol initially expected some reaction, having said what he wanted to say, but Baekhyun refuses to look up at Chanyeol’s heartbroken pout. Baekhyun remains very still for a considerable while, and Chanyeol is starting to think that he is doomed, and they are back to non-responsive treatment. He doesn’t like seeing Baekhyun like this; he doesn’t have to beat himself up because he thinks he made a mistake, and Chanyeol wishes fervently he had the right words to convince him that there is no mistake in the first place. Then, Baekhyun starts moving, but not in the way Chanyeol would have liked; he starts banging his head mildly on the table, where it was resting hidden a moment ago. Oh, no, no, no; Chanyeol won’t have that. He gets up from his seat and walks around the table quickly, kneeling on the floor next to Baekhyun’s chair.

“Baek, come on” he urges calmly –but it feels more like a plea –and he gently guides Baekhyun by the shoulders to turn around and sit on the side of the chair, facing him. Baekhyun complies without much resistance, but he still refuses to look at Chanyeol. He keeps his head hung in defeat and his shoulders slumped sadly with his hands resting lifelessly on his lap. Chanyeol tries to peek at his face under the shadow of his hair but he can’t see much besides the red spot on his forehead where it was hitting on the table, his closed eyes and his lips pressed in a sad line. Baekhyun doesn’t deserve this look; he deserves to smile radiantly, always.

“Baek, please don’t be like this; you’re breaking my heart” Chanyeol admits in a quiet voice, making a futile attempt to brush Baekhyun’s bangs away, but they keep falling forward anyway. Chanyeol needs to see Baekhyun’s smile, he needs to know that he is happy. “Don’t worry about your secret; I won’t tell anyone, I promise” Chanyeol wishes Baekhyun would open his eyes and see how hard he is trying, how much he wants to be close to Baekhyun. All this while, getting closer is all Chanyeol wanted and he can’t bear being shoved away so suddenly. Baekhyun doesn’t feel just nice to be around anymore, he feels necessary to Chanyeol.

“But I’m twenty two, Chanyeol, going to twenty three. How can I never have been kissed?” Baekhyun breathes in a broken voice, closing his eyes more tightly on the verge of tears. Chanyeol wants to cry himself, seeing Baekhyun like this. But he is also happy, because Baekhyun is answering him now and this is one step closer to forgiveness.

“It doesn’t matter to me!” Chanyeol exclaims desperately in quivering voice “It’s not the reason you are my friend! You’re still the same Baekhyun as yesterday. If anything, I’m glad you told me; it means we are growing closer, right?” Chanyeol cups the side of Baekhyun’s small face with his hand. It feels surreal and maybe he shouldn’t be touching Baekhyun like that, but he feels like it’s what Baekhyun needs right now. Baekhyun needs reassurance, he needs comfort, because he has spent far too many years trying to encourage his small self on his own. Chanyeol needs to help him and he has to overcome his own fears and his weakness and step closer to Baekhyun.

“Well, you might be glad, but I’m embarrassed” Baekhyun mumbles, biting visibly on his trembling lower lip.

“Don’t be embarrassed, Baek” Chanyeol’s voice becomes naturally soft and lulling, while his thumb stokes Baekhyun’s soft cheek comfortingly “It’s just me; Chanyeol. I don’t find anything wrong with you, you have nothing to be ashamed of. I’m happy you told me your secret, because now we can share it. If you hadn’t told me, I could have never done this”

“Done what?” Baekhyun sniffles cutely, slightly distracted.

Chanyeol smiles sweetly and gets up on his feet, pulling Baekhyun to stand from the chair. Baekhyun stands, but he doesn’t lift his head to look at Chanyeol or to make any other move. If Baekhyun didn’t need him, Chanyeol would have never been able to comfort him. He would have never been able to break through his ego and reach out to someone who needs him. He would have never felt strong enough and sure enough of himself to close the space between them, like he is doing now, and wrap his arms protectively and securely around Baekhyun. He would have never found the courage to hold Baekhyun; because Chanyeol is a strong man in his life, but not when it comes to Baekhyun. He is so afraid that he might ruin everything, and for the first time in his life, this feels too precious to ruin; he wants to keep it forever. He would be devastated if he ruined this.

“I wouldn’t have done this, Baek” he murmurs softly on Baekhyun’s hair. Baekhyun shyly closes his arms around Chanyeol’s waist. So, he finally understands. Chanyeol feels so happy that the wall of embarrassment is finally down, that his eyes start seeing blurry through unshed tears of relief. He tightens his hold on Baekhyun, curling his fingers on the soft fabric of his clothes.

“I wouldn’t have been able to share the burden of your secret. I wouldn’t have been able to hold you and comfort you. Please, believe me, Baek, you are a wonderful person”

…so, so wonderful…

“You are very rare and precious”

…precious to me…

“You deserve to experience amazing things in your life”

…a rose-colored first love, a sun-bright first kiss, a calm-sea-blue lifetime with the person you love…

“And it will happen; I promise Baek. Your first kiss will happen, when it will be the right moment, and it will be just like in your dreams”

…even if that means it won’t be like in my dreams; even if it won’t be me…

“And you’ll be happy then. And that’s what matters”

…because then I can be happy too.

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun’s small voice sounds muffled in the silence after a while.

“Mmm?” Chanyeol hums willingly, resting his lips on Baekhyun’s hair that smells like strawberry and vanilla.

“I’m sorry for avoiding you. And thank you” Baekhyun says sheepishly and buries his face even deeper in Chanyeol’s chest, tightening his hold around his waist. Chanyeol smiles, feeling his heart not only swelling but also shining brightly, like the sun is in his chest. If only they could stay like this forever.

--

Kyungsoo wakes up and boy, he really doesn’t want to wake up. Everything on him feels thoroughly exhausted, while, at the same time, he feels like he has just spent a hundred years sleeping. Bodies are weird machines. It is kind of unfair you don’t get to choose it and then you’re stuck with it forever and you can’t change it much. It is the only one you’ve got. And, right now, the one Kyungsoo’s got, is feeling tired and numb and sleepy and hungry and heavy-

Oh, wait, scratch that last one, it’s not his body that feels heavy. It’s Kim Jongin’s body that feels heavy, because, once again, its owner had the courtesy to splay it all over poor Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo swears that, in some courts, this sleeping habit might pass as attempted murder via asphyxiation.

With some effort that is not necessarily pleasant for a freshly awakened person, Kyungsoo manages to shove Kai off of him, breathing normally once again. He winces slightly when a small pain near his rear makes itself known, but it’s nothing he can’t overlook and there’s nothing to worry about; I mean, imagine having to exchange ‘birthday gifts’ –yes, we mean that sort of gifts– for both Kai’s and Kyungsoo’s birthdays, all in one go…Trouble in the rear is expected, but he can’t say he regrets it.

Jongin, being the clingy idiot he is, starts crawling back like a starfish, to attach himself on Kyungsoo again, therefore, the latter keeps tossing toned limbs across the bed whenever they threaten to grab him. Eventually, zeal takes over and Kai ends up practically hurled off the bed and onto the floor. Kyungsoo cringes at the loud thud. Oops.

“Math test, I’m awake!” Kai exclaims, shuffling sleepily off the floor. Math test? What…

“Did your mother used to wake you up for school like this?” Kyungsoo guesses, watching Kai getting used to his surroundings slowly, with an adorable pout of confusion on his lips. Kai scratches his exposed toned stomach, squeezing his eyes shut in distaste at the bright light. Kyungsoo wants to cry because no one has the right to look this se*y in the morning.

“Not my mother; Chanyeol did” he mumbles in a gruff voice and climbs on the bed again “The question is, why are you picking up that habit though” With almost painful predictability, Kai leans over Kyungsoo, crushing him –again– to kiss him on the lips.

“I’m trying to cope with other habits” Kyungsoo mumbles resignedly into their kiss. Kai sighs theatrically and lets his head fall on Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

“Faith is cruel to me on this fine Monday morning” he teases.

“What Monday? It’s Sunday, silly” Kyungsoo says with a giggle.

“No, it’s Monday” Kai insists, lifting his head to look at a bewildered Kyungsoo in the eyes.

“Jongin, it’s Sunday. It comes after Saturday, you know?”

“Um, yeah; but, right now, it’s Monday”

“It’s Sunday.”

“It’s Monday.” Kai points at the calendar on the wall behind him, effectively avoiding a stubborn competition of repeating the days of the week. Kyungsoo glances at the calendar and then at the date on his phone, and holy sunflowers it’s-

“Monday?!” he shrieks “What happened to Sunday?!”

“Don’t you remember? We spent it doing things” Kai swipes his tongue over his lips and that’s a crime, especially paired with that sinful smirk, but Kyungsoo has greater issues in life right now. Like, how he missed a whole day of the week?!

“I thought it was one night!” he exclaims. When he followed Kai home after his birthday party, he wasn’t exactly planning to stay for that long!

“Soo, no one can sleep, eat and have bedroom as much as we did, in just one night” Kai chuckles and Kyungsoo glares at him with his huge eyes, successfully making him freeze in fear.

“This was not supposed to happen, I, it’s, I mean, Monda-” he stops whining when another thought hits him with the force of a herd of bulls, like those who flood the streets somewhere in Spain during that matador festival thing. “Sunflowers. I have to go. My mother will kill me!” he makes his way out of Kai’s clutches and starts harvesting the room for his clothes.

“Stop shoving me” Kai complains behind a facefull of pillow.

Kyungsoo starts dressing as fast as he can, hoping his mother will not notice how formal his shirt and slacks are –the jacket is a no-no though, too obvious –and he is thankful he had the idea to hang his clothes sometime during yesterday, because it saves him conspicuous wrinkles. He had promised to visit his family this weekend, because his birthday was on a week day and they couldn’t meet, but Sunday is over and past, apparently, and he won’t even attempt to check how many missed calls he has on his phone. He prays they haven’t informed the police about his disappearance or anything. Where did that shock hide, are you playing games with me, shock?!

Soon enough, but later than he would have liked, Kyungsoo can be found, fully dressed, washed and with his hair combed, stumbling through Kai’s apartment to the door. Kai comes out of the kitchen, also dressed, sipping coffee from a mug and watching in amusement as Kyungsoo tries to put on his shoes, curse you shoelaces! He offers him the mug, once Kyungsoo’s battle with bunny loops and all is done, and Kyungsoo hastily takes a few sips from the drink, giving Kai a grateful look over the rim of the cup. Kai wraps a scarf around Kyungsoo’s throat and helps him into a warm coat –none of which are Kyungsoo’s. They’re Kai’s, but Kyungsoo fails to notice that in his hurry.

“Don’t catch a cold, okay? Drive safe and make sure you get proper breakfast. I love you! Call me when you get there!” Kai fusses over him and yells from the door as Kyungsoo makes his way down the stairs.

“Sure!” he calls back, hopping steps two at a time when, hold it one second. Kyungsoo freezes on the step. What did the idiot just say? I l-l-lo-the “L” word?! N-no one says the “L” word! Something akin to a thunderbolt roars in his head and shoots down his spine, scorching his poor heart in the process. Why did it have to be the “L” word??!! Well, Kyungsoo might feel a bit guilty, but he’s not planning on saying it back; it doesn’t fit on his lips anymore, after all the times he has misused it in his life. But did Kyungsoo just agree so easily to ‘call him when he gets there’?! Do Kyungsoo, what the flowers is happening to you?!

He slaps himself –slightly too hard maybe– to get his thoughts back on track, and it works; priorities make sense in his head again, as he flees down the stairs, chanting about sunflowers, mothers and imminent deaths.

--

“Here you go: Monday morning special” Sehun hands the cup over to Luhan who thanks him earnestly for making this extra coffee-ily enhanced drink for him; because how else are you supposed to survive Monday mornings, when you have slept maybe for five hours during the weekend?

Luhan doesn’t come here on mornings usually, because it’s just too busy for this lifetime and gosh, that line of cranky coffeeholics and the noise, but he was too tired to make himself coffee at home and he needed someone who would make him a customized super-caffeine drink without asking too many questions, taking too long or messing it up. Sehun just popped in his head after those requirements were set.

“What’s with the glasses?” Sehun asks curiously as Luhan waits in line to pay for his drink and the kid shuffles too many things behind the counter at impossible speed.

“Dark circles that can be seen from Mars” Luhan sighs, ignoring the girl who giggles beside him. She’s been trying to get Sehun’s attention, actually. It’s not like Luhan can read minds or anything, but it became obvious, after the third hair-over-the-shoulder flip, the constant sugary smile, the dreamy stare, the third time she giggled at something Sehun said, the fourth time Luhan glanced at her randomly and she was still flattering her eyelashes at Sehun…Not that anyone blames her.

“How bad can it be?” Sehun challenges with a happy-go-lucky smile; he seems pretty oblivious to the girl’s advances and Luhan idly wonders what Sehun’s emotional IQ might be. Well, about his question, Luhan generally doesn’t enjoy spooking people, but Sehun is just asking for it. He even spooked himself when he glanced in the mirror this morning; no amount of cosmetics can help his case look half human, unfortunately. He lowers his glasses just enough for the boy to see. “Oh my god, put those back on!” he exclaims playfully.

“Thank you, Sehun, really.” Luhan deadpans, this tad bit bitterly. Sehun giggles but doesn’t reply, too busy to keep up with a proper conversation. Was that sarcasm, Luhan? It was completely unnecessary. Luhan doesn’t know why he backfired like this. He expected a worse reaction, to be honest; he looks hideous. He blames the lack of sleep and the incessant failed flirting of the girl next to him –and did she just giggle and do the hair-flip thing again. It looks like somebody does blame her, after all.

Luhan spends a few more precious moments of his life watching Sehun work and the girl trying to flirt. Somewhere in between his glances back and forth between the two people, Luhan notices that Sehun’s hair looks kind of different and nice, and oh, it’s because it’s all one color now, light blonde, and the girl is kind of cute, to be honest, with perfectly coiffed curls and nice lips, and maybe she would look very cute as a couple together with Sehun, and okay, for some reason, Luhan is pretty pissed right now.

So, when his coffee cup finally arrives, he accidentally knocks over a small flower container, which is really too small to be a vase but big enough to spill some water on the girl. She yelps, Luhan apologizes worriedly and another employee comes over to help her dry. Sehun promises her that her drink is on the house, she smiles at him with a small blush and Luhan apologizes again. The employee is doing a poor job at helping her, she is doing a poor job at pretending not to stare at Sehun, Sehun is doing a poor job at paying her any attention and Luhan is doing a poor job at convincing himself that he didn’t just get a kick of satisfaction from the accident.

“Have a nice day, Luhan! Fighting!” Sehun shouts from behind the counter to be heard over the chattering as Luhan takes his leave, and Luhan turns around just before exiting, to meet a strangely warm and familiar smile that somehow brightens his day every time they cross paths. He cracks a small smile and raises his fist in the air to return Sehun’s encouraging gesture. Forget the girl; unlike her, Sehun is looking at him.

--

After burning many brain cells trying to make a simple decision, Baekhyun presses the button and the dvd player swallows the disk. He walks back to the couch, where Chanyeol is sitting already, and plops down beside him. Chanyeol is really big, taking up a large part of the couch, but Baekhyun doesn’t mind; it is just one more thing of Chanyeol that makes Baekhyun feel safe. Their thighs are touching but it’s kind of unavoidable.

Baekhyun has decided that messaging Chanyeol is really nice, but it could never compare to having Chanyeol around. Certainly, Chanyeol makes him feel safe and accepted, comforted and happy through the messages, but hearing Chanyeol is so much better. His deep voice is very soft and velvety, and Baekhyun really likes it when it gets even deeper, when Chanyeol gets serious. For another thing, hearing his voice gives Baekhyun the chance of reading into Chanyeol, to understand his emotions, his concerns, his honesty.

Seeing Chanyeol in real life is also far better than the magazine pictures. He looks gorgeous either way, but if Baekhyun can see him somewhere around, Chanyeol’s smile looks infinitely brighter and sometimes gravely different –because he doesn’t show all of his teeth and his adorable twitching eye in the photo shoots. And even if Chanyeol is not dressed to the nines and groomed to perfection, Baekhyun still prefers him as he is right now, wearing clothes that are too small for him, trying to fit on a couch too small, his hair flopping childishly across his forehead, smiling brightly with no care in the world.

Unexpectedly, Chanyeol embraced Baekhyun earlier, and that made Baekhyun realize that touching Chanyeol is also very nice. Maybe Chanyeol is slightly too tall for Baekhyun and maybe Baekhyun is not allowed to touch him ever after that comforting hug, but gosh, Baekhyun really wants to do it again, because he felt like he fit there. He felt like home; protected, loved, accepted and happy. He cannot explain what it feels like to fit, but you just know it when it happens.

For a few moments earlier in his life, those three combined, and Chanyeol was talking to him, calling him ‘Baek’ sweetly, holding him securely and smiling with promises. Those few moments felt very close to his dreams, as if Chanyeol really transformed to his guardian angel, without Baekhyun even asking –despite needing him.

“So, what are we watching?” Chanyeol asks brightly while Baekhyun is getting comfortable beside him. They decided to watch a Disney movie, just like they did the last time when Chanyeol spent the night in Baekhyun’s apartment. Baekhyun was this close to picking lion king, but he decided against it, thinking how he has felt depressed enough for today and that they should watch something fun instead.

“Tangled” he answers with a faint smile. He can’t believe he is making the Park Chanyeol watch Tangled, but it doesn’t feel as weird if he thinks of him as just Chanyeol. And if you’re wondering why Baekhyun even owns tangled, it’s because Chen gave it to him –Chen was raving about the step-mother-slash-evil-witch, who might not be so evil after all, because all she ever wanted was to be accepted, and the real evil is society and its sickening standards, and she must have been some good because she raised a good kid, and the lantern scene was so awesome, and the ‘mother knows best’ song is dedicated from me to you, and you should totally watch it, Baekhyun.

Can we please take the trouble to mentally type an ellipsis (…) in the air, thank you.

“Great!” Chanyeol says, still smiling; but Baekhyun noticed a small strain in his voice. He glances over at Chanyeol, ready to switch the disk to another movie at the smallest hint of disappointment, but Chanyeol only rubs his eye with his fist adorably, giving the screen a determined stare. Baekhyun now understands what the strain was about and he bites his lips to hide his smile.

“Don’t worry; I’ll tell you how it ends, if you fall asleep” he reassures him and bumps his shoulder against Chanyeol playfully. Chanyeol returns a bright smile, free of his worries.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n. Are you guys still alive?...I know this has been a massive, pink, cotton candy avalanche, but I couldn’t help it! You’ve made me such a happy person recently, and this is one way of expressing how much I really love you all!

I adore writing sweet, caring, slightly possessive and changing-to-an-unselfish-person Chanyeol! What do you think of Chanyeol's wish for Baekhyun's life? Sleepy Baekhyun is totally becoming a pattern as of now, too (because I liked it ^^), and, about the koala pattern: did you know that, contrary to popular belief that koalas are cuddly, they are actually solitary creatures? Bonding occurs only between mother and dependent offspring. Both cuddliness and solitude can apply to our Baekhyun, plus cuteness, plus clinging to a tall something (see, tree=Chanyeol), so I thought it fits him well.

Friendship and secrets go together, but sharing is a very fragile and sensitive procedure; trustworthiness, acceptance, patience and honesty are important, because the other feels vulnerable -you should remember that.

Kaisoo bedroom again, hip hip hurray! Their relationship dynamics come out so distinct in the bedroom, I can’t resist the temptation! OTL And, did you see it, did you, did you? I think Kai is the first character ever in this fic to say the “L” word!!! Yey! Kyungsoo is still an injured dove at heart though, so I can’t make him say it back yet (but oh, he will) but he is gradually changing and warming up to Kai, too!

And this time, by popular demand which finally aligned with the writer’s plans, there was Hunhan too! Could it be that Luhan feels jealous over Sehun? But they’re just friends, right? I mean, they kissed once but, they are clearly friends since then –maybe awkward friends, but still…Hm, I’ll let you think about it. Next time, Sehun turns into a superhero, maybe, and saves the day, maybe, and heroes get the girl, right? Maybe. So stay tuned! kitty~