“This is not a muffin place”

“No, it isn’t”

“Then why have you brought me here?” Kyungsoo crosses his arms in front of his chest, raising an eyebrow challengingly. He is sure the answer will be most amusing and unpredictable –oh, and it will undoubtedly involve the word ‘date’ during the first exhale of breath turned into a sentence. Certainly, unpredictable.

Kyungsoo drops the openly threatening front, minding that it’s not civil to keep it for long when they’re in public, and he rubs his temples soothingly. This Tuesday morning was supposed to be simple; but when is Kyungsoo’s life ever simple? And this is Kai we’re talking about: love-stricken highschool-girl dating mentality in all its fluffy, rainbow glory. Kyungsoo should have known that he would find himself in a dating couple situation sooner or later, only he had hoped for later, and not as soon as they came back from their three-day vacation. It’s partly his fault though, if you think about it, because he agreed to this date, he came all the way here and he got through that front door –maybe he should have thrown a childish tantrum when he realized where Kai was taking him, refusing to move an inch past the threshold. It would have been embarrassing, but maybe his ego would still be surviving in fragments right now. He gives Kai an intense, examining look. What exactly doesn’t spell hopelessly romantic idiot over him?

“Uhhm…” Kai opts to check the menu at this point, conveniently burying his nose in the booklet and avoiding Kyungsoo’s judgmental glare. But that’s okay because Kyungsoo knows Kai can feel the chills, even through that flimsy obstruction of paper. You can’t avoid the creeping feeling of mental daggers thrown your way. “I wanted to take you somewhere nice for our first breakfast date, somewhere more impressive than a muffin shop. It’s a pretty place here and I thought it’d be nice, Soo” he says as an excuse and, even though his face is hidden behind the menu, Kyungsoo can practically hear the pout.

Feeling a little guilty for being so blunt, Kyungsoo warily glances around for the seventh time since they got in; to be fair, it’s an impressive place. The walls are painted in mint and off-white pastels and there are chandeliers of gold and glass hanging from the ceiling. Everything is chicly decorated and white peonies adorn every table in crystal vases, the music flows softly in the air and the aura is so…high society. It’s the sort of place people usually walk by, envying those on the other side of the glass and hoping to be in their place one day. From the soft, draping tablecloths to the silver cutlery and the white, remarkably folded table linen, everything is pristinely arranged and ordered. The scene is bafflingly familiar, probably because Kyungsoo comes across similar interior event parlors almost every day, decorated and arranged according to Baekhyun’s impeccable work and astounding aesthetics. Thanks to his line of work, his keen eye and Baekhyun’s focus on detail, Kyungsoo has sufficient familiarity with every material around him, and he is confident he can list the exact price of anything in the room –and everything is unreasonably expensive, trust him.

He bites his lip, realizing how expensive this place must be and starting to question if he looks presentable enough to be here –in his defense, this was supposed to be just another muffin shop round the corner. He should have worn his other shirt, the light blue one that makes his eyes look nice. He’s not poorly dressed in any case, in his black trousers, wine burgundy shirt and black blazer, but maybe he looks a bit dull and plain, considering his surroundings. To put it nicely, he must look like an old, black moth, pathetically quivering its grey wings inside a bouquet of radiant white lilies.

Okay, perhaps he doesn’t look that bad but he feels like it. Maybe he should have styled his hair a little more, too. There seem to be a dozen different reasons to feel insecure today. Unfortunately, Kyungsoo hardly had time to glance at himself in the mirror once before he left home, because his bed kept him imprisoned under the warm comforter for nearly fifteen minutes after the alarm, and the whole process of getting ready had to be done in fast forward, if he were to be fit to be seen on time for his breakfast date with Kai. If today has been any indication, Kyungsoo has a feeling that breakfast dates are not his thing; they will always be fifteen minutes too early for his liking.

Kyungsoo’s eyes focus on Kai and his perfectly fashionable outfit, his naturally styled hair and the slim bracelet he is wearing as a stylish detail. He looks like he walked straight out of a fashion magazine, with his lean and graceful body. The sunlight is illuminating all his excellent facial angles and makes his brown eyes look an amber shade. Kai fits here perfectly as a part of this world. Kyungsoo feels like an average choice for him.

The shopping district outside is built after the Milanese Quadrilatero della moda, lined with designer boutiques that ordinary people don’t dare approach. The street is frequented by well dressed people, strolling lazily and splurging on quality items, or simply enjoying the beautiful architecture and the small flower gardens on the sides of the street. Some of them peek inside the café windows with interest and Kyungsoo clears his throat, trying to distract himself from the self-conscious feeling that appears suddenly and makes his stomach turn, shrinking in his chair in a way he hopes is not too noticeable. Why did they pick the window seat again?

“This is too far away from the place I need to be later” he frowns, staring at the closed menu booklet on the table in front of him. For now, he refuses to touch the breakfast menu which looks too fancy to be a menu in the first place, with calligraphy scribbled across the delicate pages inside and discretely ornamented fabric covering the outside. He has no idea how he is going to order anything without having a look first, but he can worry about it later.

“I’ll take you there, don’t worry” Kai promises, absentmindedly skimming the menu pages, as if it’s the most sensible and sure thing in the world. Kyungsoo gasps in disbelief. He saw the car Kai showed up in today, and it’s too expensive to go unnoticed from his colleagues at work. It’s also very distinctly red. It’s not ideal when a bunch of people you may or may not know well enough start questioning you about your relationship of dubious status with the uber-rich man who dropped you off in a fancy car. That, the unnecessary, cheeky innuendoes and tardy florists are the things Kyungsoo refuses to deal with on this day. His pointed stare at Kai, however, goes unnoticed from the latter, as if everything is set for later with an irresolute finality that only Kai’s stubborn head is capable of conjuring up in a blink.

“Baekhyun will have my head on a plate if I show up late” he gives fair warning and checks his watch. If he tried getting there by himself starting now, he wouldn’t have better chances at getting there any faster, so maybe it’ll be good to have someone to blame for being late. Kyungsoo sighs and surrenders to his destiny. His future is very clear and he can’t do much to change it anyway. He even picks up the menu. Kai can suddenly see Kyungsoo again, after ignoring him earlier, and he catches the action immediately, a grin appearing on his previously thoughtful face as he lowers the menu and reestablishes proper eye contact, not afraid that Kyungsoo will scorch him with his lethal glare anymore.

“Baekhyun is too cute to be this cruel” he teases, leaning over the table and Kyungsoo huffs, pretending not to notice the playful proximity. It’s his turn to ignore Kai. And of course Baekhyun is cute, but make no mistake, oh he can be very cruel. Blessed be the ignorant concerning Byun Bunny’s murderous wrath. Kyungsoo is one of the few people who have lived to tell the tale.

“You really wouldn’t want to test him” he advises, reading through the mystical, different kinds of tea with that little voice in his head. Then, he pauses and looks up at Kai with a second thought. “Or, if you do, do it at your own rear’s risk, not mine”

Kai is about to make a playful comeback but he stops when a lady in her twenties stops by their table, asking for their order. Kyungsoo glances at her and she weirdly looks at him straight in the eye, even though their eye contact lasts for only a second. Kyungsoo knows his eyes are big, but this sort of instant and direct eye contact is not an easy feat in any case. Wow, they have trained her well. Kyungsoo goes first, ordering something simple, and then Kai orders for two people, as the ever love-struck idiot he is –unless he suddenly wants to eat both lemon cake and strawberry pie. Kyungsoo squints at him a little in an accusing manner and Kai’s grin widens a little, and that’s proof enough of Kyungsoo’s suspicions. The girl smiles at them one more time before she goes, and Kyungsoo glances after her, because is it odd that she was looking at him straight in the eyes again when she said she’ll be back soon?

“Well, she likes you” Kai claims his attention once again, using a voice that Kyungsoo can’t decode but it doesn’t sound particularly auspicious, so he gives Kai an odd look. Kai avoids his eyes, opting to look at the scenery outside with his pupils narrowing in the blinding sunlight; and that is all the more perplexing, because Kai usually tries to keep up the conversations he initiates, he doesn’t simply drop them –much to Kyungsoo’s frustration, as far as some other occasions are concerned.

Kyungsoo feels a little misplaced in his reality today; nothing seems to follow the plan as expected, and that makes him feel prone to confusion and reserved towards his own thoughts. A small something is nudging him to quietly accept everything and stay out of trouble until the day is over, but his mouth is used to a much different routine. It’s probably a combination of nature and nurture that has made him the way he is. He smirks.

“Who cares?” his tone is sarcastic, because Kyungsoo certainly doesn’t. It’s not the first time a person of the female species shows interest in him, but they all meet the same response. Not interested. It has always been a mystery why ladies pine after him. To him, it seems reasonable for anyone to pursue someone like Baekhyun, who is cute and nice and kind, but why would anyone pay attention to Kyungsoo, who’s squishy and snarky and abrupt, is a mystery. Females –and a certain Kim Jongin– are strange creatures indeed. Not to mention the obvious absurdity that a girl chose to focus on him rather than Kai, who’s right there, looking dashing as ever. Is she half blind or something?

“I do.” Kai’s tone is adamant and Kyungsoo lifts his eyes with an audaciously raised eyebrow at the tone Kai just used on him, only to see an expression with furrowed eyebrows and hard lines that throws his thoughts out of focus again. Is he…angry? He doesn’t get time to figure out the answer, because Kai’s face softens and changes; his eyes drop to the table and his lips pout. It’s a mixture of hesitance and resolve, concealed hurt and irritation, but his voice comes out steady and certain. “I mean…We’re together, aren’t we?”

Kyungsoo is sure the world slows down for a moment. He is…jealous. The realization makes Kyungsoo’s heart thump in his chest. Possessiveness from his partner is not something unfamiliar to him; he has been through a few hurtful relationships with haughty people who liked to think they owned him. He used to let them think so. But he doesn’t want to do it this time; not with Kai, not when this is the most real thing he has felt in ages. Jealousy sometimes is flattering and sometimes annoying, in Kyungsoo’s experience it used to be suffocating and unbearable. But then why does it feel different this time? When it’s Kai, it feels different. It’s not malevolent or spiteful or aggressive, but gentle and flattering and assuring. It does something strange that rarely happens; it makes Kyungsoo feel loved.

And scared. If it means something more. If Kai comes closer. If Kyungsoo lets him. If Kyungsoo is not ready for that. If all this turns sour. If this ends. If he is left heartbroken. He must slow them down. But he can’t bring himself to deny it.

“Sort of…” he admits with a soft blush -he will not admit to- tinting his cheeks. His fingers pick on the edges of the napkin in nervousness, scratching the symmetrical stitches. He feels so exposed by simply saying that he is sort-of-together with someone, but he doesn’t regret it. He expects to see a dopey smile on Kai’s face, as it usually happens when Kyungsoo gives in a little to his affection, but Kai frowns again and then deadpans.

“Sort of.” The accusing tone is not obvious but Kyungsoo can hear it because it’s there, shining in blazing red color under the surface. He doesn’t want to think of what is hiding deeper behind it. It does the trick of making Kyungsoo feel guilty anyway. He tries to keep things simple and ignore the strange concoctions of emotions within him, so he sighs in surrender, rolling his eyes.

“Okay, fine. We-wait.” He suddenly decides that he feels irked by this situation, an involuntary decision that his temper makes for him when the mysterious and highly unstable mixtures within him tilt out of balance and spiral downwards. His brain abruptly floods with bad memories of jealous scenes and he gets defensive to the point of hostile. He does not want this with Kai. “Why are we discussing our relationship status all of a sudden?” he hisses under his breath, stealing glances left and right, mindful of where they are. This is a conversation too serious to have while waiting for their order of tea to arrive, in a super expensive café and practically under public scrutiny, in Kyungsoo’s opinion. He’s like a scared cat, drawing out his claws and hunching his back. Kai presses his lips in a thin line for a moment, pinning Kyungsoo with his intense gaze.

“Look, Soo, I don’t want to push you, but it would be nice to know what you think of us” his voice is calm and composed when he speaks and his expression is that of a deflated child, but it’s hard to miss the tone of a man who is getting tired of beating around the bush. Kyungsoo’s bothered temper starts charging forward inside of him, only to fall off a huge cliff into the void and leave him hanging for a moment. Really, who is Kyungsoo to blame him? It might be a very uncomfortable topic for him but no one likes living in uncertainty when all they want is to be in a proper relationship and have a chance at pursuing happiness, and Kyungsoo knows this first hand, because he has held the other end of the stick for the most part of his life. But it’s just so difficult to let go of his insecurities. It’s so uncertain, so frightening.

He wants to.

He can’t.

“That’s complicated” he mumbles, feeling his anger dissipating into smoke that turns heavy in his chest. The guilt is squeezing his lungs. Kai drops the stiff square of his shoulders and grandly exhales the breath he had been holding.

“Big things in life usually seem complicated, until you deal with them, and then they’re not complicated anymore” he says in a lively yet stern tone. He doesn’t sound angry or accusing, but Kyungsoo grimaces, feeling a stab in his chest that hurts more after the scratches of guilt on his heart. In other words, he’s a coward who doesn’t want to deal with his problems and take a chance. Kai seems to understand his mistake then, his own words registering in his ears the same way they settled aggressively inside Kyungsoo, and he looks like he is about to apologize, eyes wide and pleading, but Kyungsoo cuts him off.

“So, we are a big thing in life?” he says, raising an inquiring eyebrow. He tries to sound teasing and maybe a bit ironic but his voice sounds tired and his smile is bitter. He doesn’t want the apology; he knows Kai is right. How did he get stuck in this situation?

The girl who started it all chooses that moment to arrive with their order. She lays it on the table prettily and carefully, not noticing the heavy atmosphere between the two men, and wishing them to enjoy. Kyungsoo makes it a point in his life to ignore her, and her smiles towards him, and her lingering looks. He’s not this rude with his rejections usually, knowing full well how it hurts to be rejected, but this time he can’t help it. It’s futile but he feels like he has to prove something by staring only at Kai.

Silence ensues. Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to say after the girl is gone and Kai seems lost in deep, troubling thoughts. They both stay quiet and unmoving in a mutually comfortable unease. Besides, Kyungsoo is almost afraid to touch the high quality designer china that his tea is served into.

“So…” Kai breaks the silence between them and his voice is almost entirely blended with the other patrons’ chatter in Kyungsoo’s ears. He is surprised when his brain recognizes the sound as Kai’s voice and he tries to focus a little more. Kai’s next words are clearer and cautiously cheerful. “What are you planning today at work?”

It’s an awkward start but it picks up easily. And so they fall into an easy conversation. It’s as if nothing ever happened. Only a small nagging feeling is left in the pit of Kyungsoo’s stomach, but he ignores it effortlessly, keeping himself too busy in their conversation to care. He tells Kai about the company event they have planned for today, whining about not having time to check twice with the catering company to make sure they bring the right brand of champagne because he was on vacation. Kai makes a playful comeback at that, and Kyungsoo smiles, proceeding to other topics of the day. Kai talks about his day and his plans too. Normally, Kyungsoo wouldn’t be paying close attention, but he finds himself very interested in whatever small thing Kai has to offer about his day and his thoughts. The amicable aura lasts for the while they stay and sip their tea, nibbling at the pastry with small smiles warmed by the sunrays.

Until Kyungsoo catches the time and they run out of the café, laughing in the midst of their panic when Kai nearly stumbles on his chair and almost falls flat on his pretty face.

By the time they get close to the venue in Kai’s expensive and for good reason car, Kyungsoo is more worried about the fact that he’s running late rather than the fancy car. It’s not just a matter of upsetting Baekhyun with his tardiness but also a point for his responsibilities and his contribution to their small company. Kai stops the car on the side of the road and Kyungsoo can see people coming and going through the front door of the building, carrying boxes and flowers and chairs, in a busy, fast pace that Kyungsoo is very familiar with. He unbuckles his seatbelt, ready to get out.

“Thanks for the ride” he says before he opens the door, disrupting the troubled silence that has fallen between him and Kai in the car. It’s as if the quiet is haunted by their earlier tiff. “And for breakfast, of course” he adds as an afterthought. He also makes a mental note that he will have to take Kai on a date sometime too, or maybe cook for him or something. It seems only fair. Kai smiles, but it’s shadowed by something else in his eyes, something unfitting for his usual happy glint.

“Anytime, Soo” he reassures, shifting the gear stick left and right in absentminded nervousness. It’s then that Kyungsoo realizes he’s stalling, for whatever peculiar reason that has overtaken his free will. He lingers a while, gazing at Kai and trying to decipher what is wrong, but Kai is not so easy to read this time. Kyungsoo doesn’t know what expression he is sporting, but Kai seems to sense his reluctance to leave -even though he’s already late, and that says a lot. The sun outside starts warming the air inside the car through the windshield and the silence between them is comforting, because it is better than anything worse, but also suffocating, because it’s not normal and it’s stretching unnaturally. “Maybe…Call me later?” Kai suggests, trying to change his uncertain smile into a carefree one, and failing miserably. Kyungsoo feels the guilt wrapping its heavy tentacles around his chest once again. But there’s only one thing he can do. He bites his lip and nods affirmatively before getting out of the car.

Walking away from the car after this strange last exchange feels wrong, but he has to do it anyway, so Kyungsoo braces himself and doesn’t look back –at least, not until Kai’s car turns the corner and disappears with only a glimpse of red getting caught by Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo bites his lip again, thoughtfully this time.

Today is just not his day.

“They are so cute!” Baekhyun’s exclamation catches Kyungsoo’s attention and he turns to see his friend and business partner standing on one side of the door. Next to him, a certain Oh Sehun looks soulless while he is being violently shaken by the arm which Baekhyun is holding onto. “Sehunnie, just look at them! I bet you and Luhan look just as charming together!” Baekhyun whispers a silent squeal of excitement and starts shaking Sehun again, overflowing with energy and cuteness-induced happiness. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes but he’s smiling at his childish friend, taking in his appearance.

Baekhyun likes his people well tailored and similarly dressed -in a tasteful way- when they are planning an event, and today’s dress-code is black and burgundy. They are allowed to wear anything they like, as long as it’s reasonably presentable and with the colors they decide on each time, so that they will be identifiable and discernable in the midst of the other guests, but not as artificially similar as waiters. Sehun is wearing a black, collared shirt, tucked into a pair of burgundy skinny pants that only he could possibly pull off with his chopstick legs –Kyungsoo often wonders where Sehun gets all his unusually colored pants. Baekhyun is wearing black slacks and a black blazer, like Kyungsoo, only Baekhyun is wearing a burgundy knit sweater underneath, looking more sophisticated and softer than Kyungsoo;  also, Baekhyun’s rear looks much more amazing than Kyungsoo’s, because that’s the fate of anyone who’s friends with the small guy.

“Hyung, why are you so adorable so early in the day?” Sehun coos at Baekhyun and pats his hair affectionately. It’s odd and perhaps slightly inappropriate to do so, considering Sehun is younger, but it’s hard to resist Baekhyun’s cuteness when he’s excited -or pouting, or begging with his puppy eyes, or tilting his head to the side in confusion, or waking up with spiky hair; well, what can Kyungsoo say, he has seen much of Baekhyun in their long years of friendship.

“Not the hair!” Baekhyun flairs up instantly, swatting Sehun’s hands away, his eyes widening in shock. The florist passes by, a pretty lady who always wears her hair in a ponytail, and they exchange their good mornings before she goes to her van to start unloading the flower arrangements. Kyungsoo thanks the gods he didn’t arrive even later than the florist, because that would have been a disgrace of mega proportions. As soon as she steps away, Baekhyun returns his attention to his hair, fixing it to perfection with an endearing pout on his pink lips.

“Kyungsoo hyung, just look at that! How can you not love him when he acts so cute?” Sehun tries to keep his voice down but Kyungsoo is sure many of the employees that are passing by are already sneaking a peek at their employer, who is pouting stubbornly as he combs his hair with his pretty fingers, arranging brown and auburn tufts on his head. Kyungsoo croons internally at the picture.

“I’m being unreasonably particular with my hair, what do you love about that?” Baekhyun finishes the work with his hair and gives Sehun a weird look. Sehun grins and makes a pinching motion, threatening Baekhyun’s cheeks. Baekhyun takes a step back with a warning glare at Sehun, who must be in a really good mood today, if Kyungsoo may say so. Baekhyun has the defensive mild biting in his puppy repertoire; why is Sehun challenging the beast? “Anyway, Soo, finally you have made your precious attendance” Baekhyun turns to him and Kyungsoo’s eyes widen involuntarily at the slight terror of receiving another lecture. A shiver runs down his spine. “I had to catch two buses while carrying two boxes of linen and vanilla-scented candles because of you! I’m a small person, Soo. And the traffic was absolutely terrible. Please don’t do that to me again! Now come inside, we have work to do” he says hurriedly and pulls Kyungsoo by the wrist to bring him into the building. Kyungsoo and Sehun exchange a look of relief for the lecture that never came. Baekhyun must be in a good mood, too.

Kyungsoo wonders if he is the only one who came back from vacation feeling foreign to his reality and needing a recalibration.

He will admit that at a certain point in time, Kyungsoo gets worried about how many things can go wrong while he is living his life reporting from the twilight zone, so he plans each move with caution. He gets those bizarre fears that someone of the people working around him will run him over, or that a flower vase will fall on his head, or that he will accidentally touch the stove and burn his skin, or other paranoid scenarios like that which usually don’t happen, because humans have arranged the world so that they won’t happen. Kyungsoo knows he’s not being completely rational, but he keeps checking over his shoulder discretely no matter what he’s doing because…you know, just in case.

“You should know” Baekhyun starts casually, reaching across the table to fix a napkin. Kyungsoo would very much like to hear what he should know, but first he lifts a judging eyebrow at the girl who stares a little too long at Baekhyun’s bent form instead, and after she looks away, he nudges said man on the rear. Baekhyun straightens and gives him an inquiring gaze of the adorable kind, with his tilted head and an unsuspecting blink. Kyungsoo points an indicative glare at the girl and Baekhyun seems confused for a moment, but then he waves his hand dismissively and bents over again to continue his work unperturbed. Because that’s how Baekhyun is. “I’m letting you off the hook this once because you were on a date with Kai” he continues casually. Kyungsoo chokes.

As if he didn’t just mention that with a bunch of people around!

Kyungsoo tries to inconspicuously check with his huge eyes if anyone in vicinity heard that while trying to recover from his coughing fit. No one can know he’s dating someone for one thing, and most importantly, no one can know he’s dating Kim Kai, Playboy the Great. No one can know, because he can’t deal with anyone knowing! He won’t hear the end of it for a century if anyone suspects he’s in a relationship which has lasted for longer than two months –he has a reputation to uphold, after all. And with someone who is –no, wait– who used to be a playboy and for some reason has devoted the last few months of his life leaching on Kyungsoo!

Kyungsoo doesn’t need his coworkers to have such information, he needs to work in peace, and the latter can happen only in the absence of the former. From his scrutinizing glance, the coast seems clear, or so he thinks at least. So he gulps down his nerves and moves on to deal with his next concern, arranging the flowers in the vase and shielding Baekhyun’s rear view from the indecent looks. Best friend duties.

“Where did you guys go? Was it fun?” Baekhyun chirps conversationally, spinning around to inspect the people working on the next table. Kyungsoo follows him quickly and efficiently as always, picking up their i-pads and handing one over to Baekhyun when he gets the chance. They are perfectly synched after having worked with each other for so long, and Kyungsoo can keep up with Baekhyun when he’s being a busy butterfly in the room while Baekhyun can keep up with Kyungsoo when he’s being slightly obsessive compulsive with the straightness of the wall frames. Like the one Sunny needs to move just a little to the right…Kyungsoo gives her the signal, and now it’s perfect.

“Sure” he shrugs noncommittally and then bows a little to the chef as they pass him by. While Baekhyun checks his emails and searches for the dj’s contact information, Kyungsoo guides him over long cables, sprawled on the floor like death traps, and he gives Sehun a dirty look, because guess who’s in charge of those things. Sehun makes a peace sign and Baekhyun returns an energetic wave, completely unaware of the hazard he just quite literally skipped over. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and continues their conversation, as if none of the in between ever happened. That’s how they always do it.

“We went somewhere you should go too some day. It was a pretty place, you’d love it!” Kyungsoo describes the place, the service and the goods as they weave through people. Baekhyun asks questions and listens carefully, despite not showing it, with his eyes busy between his i-pad and inspecting the crew, making a few indicative gestures when he sees fit. But he stops every now and then, looking at Kyungsoo with dreamy eyes, adding an appropriate exclamation and a whispered squeal. It’s a bit weird how he can change personalities with half a spin of his body and go from the serious perfectionist boss to an adorable fanboying friend. Sehun was right, how can you not love him; for so many reasons.

“We fought though” Kyungsoo finishes his extended and embellished narration with a pout, leaning against a doorframe. Baekhyun chokes a little on his water, which he promptly puts away and he now graces Kyungsoo with his full attention, eyes and ears and concentration.

“Why?” he asks with a confused frown. Kyungsoo sighs, detaching himself from the side of the door, and throws his arms in the air in exasperation. Why, indeed?! The more he thinks about it, the more it seems to him that their confrontation could have been avoided in a thousand different ways and that makes him feel so stupid and useless. But he’s also greatly confused, because he can’t understand why they had to have that conversation the way they did and at the time and place they had it. He just lets his thoughts spill out to Baekhyun in the privileged privacy of the small storage room.

“He was being jealous. It was weird. And he asked about us; like, our relationship. Also weird.” Kyungsoo frowns thoughtfully and then starts unpacking the candles alongside Baekhyun, tearing away the transparent plastic wrapping and tidying the lint. And then the preposterousness of today hits him and he feels completely out of place again. “I don’t know” he whines pathetically, clutching a candle to his chest. Baekhyun puts down his candles and gives Kyungsoo the sympathetic puppy eyes, engulfing him in a hug with no trace of a second thought. Baekhyun has a way of hugging people that feels so close and heartfelt.

“Oh Soo…” Baekhyun pats him on the back and Kyungsoo sighs in his friend’s comforting embrace, feeling slightly better than before, but just then, Sunny comes rushing in and calls Kyungsoo for help, because apparently, and as Kyungsoo soon finds out for himself, one of the wall draperies has slid off its place and it’s falling down, falling down, my fair lady! Kyungsoo waddles through the mayhem of bodies and demands a ladder which is delivered to him in no time, and then he is the brave one to climb up there and start fixing things that he’s pretty sure are not a part of his job description.

“Soo?” Baekhyun calls after a few minutes, when most of the damage has been restored and the miniature people below him are working in order again, even though they’ve noticeably picked up the pace. With candles in his hands and Sehun in tow, hidden behind an armful of scented candle towers, Baekhyun looks up at Kyungsoo, who’s still perched on the ladder and struggling with the curtain. Kyungsoo bites his lips, trying to hold the fabric in place, but he manages to spare him a glance. Baekhyun blinks up at him cutely. “About you and Ka-”

“I’m not taking relationship advice right now Baekhyun!” Kyungsoo cuts in, sounding definitely sharper than he intended to, but he doesn’t regret his immediate response; which couldn’t have been anything different given the amount of adrenaline in his system in this moment. For one thing, he’s pretending to be a wonky monkey in a room full of breakables, and for another, literally the whole crew is around and they don’t need to know whom Kyungsoo is dating; much less his relationship trouble with him. Kyungsoo thinks he sees Baekhyun’s face shadowing over for a fleeting moment but he doesn’t have the time or the temper to check and his hands are kind of full right now.

--

Chanyeol is not in the mood. Absolutely, not in the mood. He hates it, hates it, hates it. But it has to be done.

“Okay, talk to me, Luhan” he orders, trying to sound decisive and convince himself everything will be alright, as he takes a seat behind his desk. He hadn’t missed the view from this seat at all. It’s just books and folders and a pretty painting that is not nearly enough to lift his mood. He didn’t sleep very well last night, as a result of which he didn’t want to wake up this morning, and his mood has been ruined ever since the obligation to get out of bed registered in his snoozing brain. His life is not privileged at all times. The shorter, blond man perches on a chair across from Chanyeol, dropping a pile of unidentified papers on the latter’s desk.

“So, the situation is, basically, your father growing older” Luhan says, organizing the papers in front of him. He doesn’t look any happier than Chanyeol to be here, but he is a distinguished professional, so he swallows his bitterness and focuses on work. “Your father has been the pillar of this company for years and he has developed a steady network of alliances and contractors. That is a good thing; it means we have friendly supporters, steady source of investments and help to keep our top spot on the market. But it is also a bad thing; because your father is not taking risks and the company’s alliances are aging. We need to draw in more investments, new people who will continue to support us in the years to come.

“Look at this” Luhan hands over some of his papers to Chanyeol, filled with numbers, names and dates “This is what happened in a month. Do you see the gap in our economics resolution?” Luhan points at a number on the paper, and Chanyeol internally thanks his university teachers who provided him with the appropriate education to understand everything on the subject of money and business. “This is because two company owners died. They used to support your father for many years, but they grew old and died.” Chanyeol lifts a wary eyebrow at how objective and detached Luhan sounds when speaking of dearly departed people. It’s a bit scary. “We had been expecting a slight imbalance after that, until their successors would take over and the companies would start operating legally again, but this process has already been settled and we are still out of balance. The new owners did not renew the contracts, but we had already invested some money in their companies, so, not only do we not have income from them, we have also been bleeding money. With the loss of two investors and the lack of new contracts…this is not sustainable, Chanyeol”

“Didn’t my father try to sign new contracts with the new owners? I mean, we are the Park Corporation, why wouldn’t they sign? It’s in their better interests as well” Chanyeol knows about fragile yet attainable company ties, and he also knows just how scary powerful this company that he will one day own is; they don’t have to try much to ruin whole countries’ economies, not to mention the global strings they have tied around their little finger. He doesn’t mean to say they are the most powerful company in the world, but they are definitely pioneers in Asian markets and a few others. It doesn’t make sense for domestic companies to cut ties with them. Luhan’s lips quirk to the side in displeasure.

“Yes, of course he did, but they are not willing to sign. I told you, your father is growing older. These are young people, and smart ones at that. They might lack experience in the actual battle of the market, but they have been trained and they have observed the companies for years, like you. We are a big company but we are growing stale, or so their predictions say at least. They need new ideas to invest in, innovations and plans that will last for another decade; not contracts that continue untouched and unchanged from the previous decade”

“Luhan” Chanyeol sighs, inspecting the numbers once again and feeling a mild headache in its wake “I can see how this is bad, but it doesn’t seem catastrophic” Everyone in the company has been running around in panic, but it doesn’t seem so serious when he thinks about it; such overdramatic people. “We just need to change our plan and insert new ideas, like those we have been reviewing since March. Many of those ideas are good, you have said so yourself, and we were planning to bring them into play at some point anyway, so we might as well do it now. If we can refine and perfect them, and present a fresh image to the investors, I am sure we will gain those two companies back, and maybe some more. With the money, we can develop those ideas and that way we are basically turning tables and we will even make profit out of this situation. It just needs hard work in a limited amount of time” not five lawyers fussing over contracts to see if we can make the new owners sign again because a term included in the old contract might sound remotely binding…Chanyeol grits his teeth in annoyance; if only they had given him the full picture, if only his father trusted him enough, they wouldn’t have to waste time and money on lawyers, and he wouldn’t have to work and stress on his vacation. Luhan shakes his head.

“No, Chanyeol. You can do those things, not ‘we’. Not your father. You are young, willing to take risks and strong enough to work hard, you can trust new people and you are sharp enough to keep a careful eye on them until your relationship becomes stable and secure. But your father sticks to what he knows, because that is what has been making him a billionaire for the last forty five years. To him, new businesses are unstable gold diggers and your father cannot be on his toes all the time and worry about them; he doesn’t have the physical or mental stamina anymore. Your plan about new ideas is good, and personally I think it could work, but only if you go in front”

“Well, I can’t!” Chanyeol exclaims in frustration, throwing his hands in the air. He hates dead ends. “I am not in position to make decisions; I can only make suggestions to my father which, given how stubborn he is, are good for nothing. I might be the future CEO but, right now, he is the one making the decisions for this company and I have no say in that. I am only managing a few departments. I cannot lead anything if I am the last one in the food chain”

“But Chanyeol, you could do this” Kai says with a serious frown, speaking for the first time since he came in this office with Chanyeol for the update “You are smart and you know how things work with companies. Besides, if you are going to present them with fresh ideas, you might as well be someone with a promising future, no offence to your father” None taken. Chanyeol’s father has been old and too old for his age ever since Chanyeol first met the man on his second day of life.

“Kai, you don’t get it; have you ever seen us during the meetings?” Chanyeol angles his body forward in his seat for emphasis “I don’t mean the department directors’ meetings, I mean the company meetings: when shareholders come in with their lawyers in tow, investors with thick files about our company and their alternatives, and a dozen handlers of our businesses, like your father, with more reports than you can count. That is where the decisions are made and I am no one in that room. I am allowed in there only because I am my father’s son; I sit at the far end of that huge table, observing quietly from the corner. I don’t get to speak or ask or do anything, I just listen, like I am invisible to everyone else. I am the weakest link; I cannot lead anything.”

“You cannot possibly hold such little power!” Kai retorts, looking unconvinced “Sure, as a department director you don’t hold even the one hundredth of the power you will have one day as the CEO, and sure, your father treats you like you are just another employee, but you work so hard all the time and you make important decisions. Aside from the departments you are running, you work on company issues as well, I’ve seen you” he squints at Chanyeol in suspicion.

“The fact that I work on greater company issues doesn’t mean I make decisions about them too” Chanyeol points out. It is true that he handles a ton of company related problems –like the one they are discussing now– alongside his departments’ issues, but, unlike his departments which he runs as he sees fit, he cannot even vote on a solution to the ‘big’ company problems. His father has decided to keep him in limited power and he only trains him constantly, giving him more and more exercises and problems to solve but never allowing him to compete in the race. He always does his best, but eventually that doesn’t matter, because, no matter what he says, his father is the one to make the final decision after discussing possible solutions with other people, who do not include Chanyeol.

“Man, that is so unfair” Kai mutters, realizing the truth of the situation. He sinks back in his seat and sulks childishly, but if Chanyeol had to guess, he’d say that this situation is not the only thing that has been bothering Kai since this morning. He writes a mental post-it to ask him about it later.

“Well, it’s my life” Chanyeol retorts, smirking bitterly at the accusing papers in his hands. It is unfair, but he can’t do much about it. He can only hope his father will acknowledge his hard effort and trust him some day.

“Chanyeol?” Lay appears by the door, knocking slightly on it. The three men in the room turn to him “Your father is here. He said you should meet him in ten minutes”

“Okay, thank you Lay” Chanyeol dismisses his secretary with a tired sigh. He feels like he is stuck and the world feels heavy on his shoulders, this dead end is giving him a headache and a meeting with his father is just what he was missing right now. Life is hard.

“Don’t worry Park, you’re smart today! You can handle him” Luhan tries to cheer him up. “He probably wants to talk to you about this situation with the investors” he tries to reassure him. But Chanyeol doesn’t feel reassured, he feels like banging his head on the wall. His father definitely wants to talk about that, but Chanyeol doesn’t know what to tell him yet; because the only solution he has come up with is not an option, because he cannot lead it, and if he won’t lead it, it will not be successful.

“Or about your vacation” Kai suggests, playing with a pen on the desk. Ah, vacation. His life was a piece of paradise on earth twelve hours ago, beside an angel called Baekhyun, but now it is a rollercoaster ride in hell which is about to crush on a wall.

“Oh, that’s right, I forgot to tell you. I talked with your fathers over the phone and I told them what we agreed on about the whole vacation thing. They believed it, I am sure, so don’t do anything stupid and give yourself away” Luhan jabs a warning finger at Chanyeol. “And you, mister” he turns his finger to point at Kai, glaring at him “you were late this morning”

“He was late, too!” Kai holds his hands up in defense but Luhan doesn’t seem to care about his excuses and he looks ready to start a variance of the familiar rant about punctuality, productivity and work ethics, but Chanyeol doesn’t have the time or the patience to go through that.

“Relax” Chanyeol stops them both with a sigh “I am pretty sure my father doesn’t care about our vacation; he never cares what I do, unless he doesn’t know what I am up to” he sighs again and closes his eyes with the first stab of pain in his head. His father keeps him under control all the time, but only because Chanyeol is valuable to his image. The future CEO must be perfect; the perfect man, the perfect son, the perfect student. But as long as his image and the company’s future is not tarnished or threatened, Chanyeol’s father doesn’t care.

“This is depressing” Kai mutters with a sad pout on his lips. Chanyeol laughs sullenly without humor.

“It’s my life; unfair, sad, depressing…the life of the Park Chanyeol. Now envy that…”

--

Kyungsoo strolls across the room after the event is over. The guests have all left and only the familiar faces remain, taking apart the decorations they put up this morning and cleaning the venue; they always leave their hosting spaces in impeccable condition. The air is buzzing with the after-thrill of the successful company party and the crew’s smiles are glowing after a job well done. They move languidly and comfortably, chit chatting with each other casually and sharing their tiredness for a while longer, until everything is done and they can go home to rest. Kyungsoo waves at the florist who has packed up all the flowers and is ready to leave, and then he refuses an invitation to join a couple of coworkers who managed to secure a drink from the bar before it closed and they stay on the side, sipping on it during their break. He’s normally social enough to accept such invitations, but right now he has other plans.

He heads for the small balcony where he knows he will find him. The city view can be seen beyond the drawn curtains, with glowing lights and the soft April breeze sweeping over the busy streets. The closer he gets to the balcony the fresher the air gets, cool and refreshed by the groomed flowers and electrified by the grey clouds above. He can see Sehun, leaning on the railing and looking across, picking at the delicacies he has gathered on his plate –the catering companies they work with are usually kind enough to provide the organizing crew with food, too. Kyungsoo can guess where the person he has been looking for is, so he grabs a fork from the cutlery table and steps out on the quiet balcony.

“Hi hyung” Sehun greets quietly and Baekhyun gives Kyungsoo a small smile before returning his attention to his plate. Kyungsoo greets them both with a small wave but his gaze lingers guiltily on Baekhyun. He is sitting cross-legged like a child on the marble bench, his jacket lying by his side, and a part of Kyungsoo wants to chide him for being so careless with his health but he holds it in; he is not here to scold him for one thing, and for another, his burgundy knit seems dense enough to protect him from at least some of the cold.

“Hey…” Kyungsoo takes a seat next to Baekhyun tentatively, sitting on the edge of the bench next to him. He presses the tips of the fork against his lips nervously and looks at Baekhyun with repentant, round eyes. Baekhyun tilts his head to the side inquiringly, his eyebrows rising with benevolent interest. There is a small smudge of chocolate on the corner of his pink lips. Kyungsoo lowers his chin apologetically. “I’m sorry. Are we good?” he says in a meek voice, but his apology is sincere for being unnecessarily harsh to him earlier, and Baekhyun knows, because best friends know such stuff magically. A gentle smile appears on Baekhyun’s lips and in his crescent eyes; he looks so much more childish, slightly ruffled as he is.

“Of course we are, Soo” he says gently and they both smile at each other instantly, like a pair of giddy, plotting preschoolers, changing moods at the speed of light; because you can’t waste time being mad at your best friends when there are so many better things to do with them, like munching on a piece of delicious chocolate cake. Baekhyun offers his plate and Kyungsoo starts picking on the other side of the sweet cake. They share the dessert in silence for a while and Kyungsoo’s guilt softens.

“We should buy you a blazer” he decides when his eyes fall on Sehun, pointing his fork at the taller man who is still standing across from them, supermodel pose and all. Baekhyun looks up and examines Sehun’s frame for a moment before nodding wordlessly in agreement.

“I have a blazer” Sehun defends, his expression showing slight distress. It’s not unusual for Kyungsoo and Baekhyun to gang up on the younger, hence Sehun already knows he can never get away –he’s always caught somewhere between Kyungsoo’s unbending determination and Baekhyun’s pleading puppy eyes. They have only the best intensions, of course; Sehun doesn’t have any reliable family members and, even though he’s used to it since childhood and he’s not so little anymore, Kyungsoo thinks he still needs someone to take care of him every once in a while. Kyungsoo raises a challenging eyebrow.

“Why don’t you wear it then?”

“It makes me look older” Sehun explains simply and shrugs his shoulders. Kyungsoo huffs in disbelief.

“Baekhyun is wearing a blazer. Does he look older to you?” he points a finger at said man and Baekhyun looks up just then, at the mention of his name, with round and curious eyes. His hair is swept messily across his forehead, whatever little of eyeliner he had been wearing is smudged under his puppy eyes and his cheeks are rosy from the cold. He is slowly chewing a piece of chocolate cake, unsure of whether he is supposed to be eating when the attention is on him. He puts the fork down for a moment, his tongue swiping one edge of his lips clean and his fingers carding through his long fringe, displacing it even more. He looks at them expectantly for a few moments of silence, and then he shrugs at the lack of response, he hugs the plate closer to himself, glancing at it devotedly, and he starts eating again deciding not to mingle with their conversation in the end. By this point, Kyungsoo is this close to lurching across the bench and hugging the life out of his heartbreakingly adorable friend.

“Hyung, that’s not a fair argument!” Sehun exclaims, pointing in the general direction of Baekhyun, who might as well have fuzzy sparkles floating around, because that tends to happen when any form of chocolate is giving Baekhyun some attention. Kyungsoo knows it’s not a fair argument but oh well, he has to find some motivation for Sehun’s lazy rear to start dressing sharply. The kid is not unpleasant to the eye by any means and, quite honestly, he’s not just a kid either; he looks very mature when he’s not wearing those star wars t-shirts and he has great potential to transform into a dashing heartbreaker. He would clean up nicely in a suit, Kyungsoo thinks, and it’d be nice if they could exhibit him more during their events; people would flee after him instantly, especially the ladies. To answer Sehun, Kyungsoo sticks his tongue out at him teasingly, and Sehun makes a strange funny face in retaliation, making Baekhyun giggle. Kyungsoo chuckles as well.

“You need a haircut, by the way” Kyungsoo reminds Baekhyun -and no, he didn’t just sound like a nagging mother. Much. Well, Kyungsoo is that sort of friend who takes care of everyone else, deal with it.

“I knowww, mama Soo~” Baekhyun singsongs with a childish grin and a cute blink, which are patronizing, but still endearing to Kyungsoo.

“Anyway…” he decides to let that conversation rest for now and he puts down his fork. He’s kind of hungry and sugary treats won’t do the trick tonight. “Do you want to go for dinner?” he proposes, flexing his ankles. He has heard of a great restaurant nearby, and since it’s not too late, maybe this is a good chance to visit. Baekhyun looks at him with wide, apologetic eyes, and Kyungsoo instantly knows the answer will not be favorable for his plans, but he also knows he will forgive Baekhyun for refusing him, because who are we kidding, he has already forgiven him, just by this vulnerable, pitiful look. 

“I’m sorry, but I have grocery shopping to do” he explains in a small voice but then he perks up “I’m making cookies! Vanilla scented with chocolate chip! Well, probably not today, maybe tomorrow” he amends his enthusiasm with a small chuckle after he checks the time. Kyungsoo nods in understanding, his mouth watering at the memory of Baekhyun’s excellent baking skills, and he turns to Sehun. The taller kicks the ground nervously and looks down at his new shoes, stalling. That’s weird. Has Kyungsoo mentioned that today feels like such a strange day to him? Sehun looks timid, slightly embarrassed even, and Kyungsoo thinks how is this world fair, because Sehun is too tall to be this cute all of a sudden!

“I have a skype date” he mumbles shyly. It’s not unusual for Sehun to show a bashful side when he is with Kyungsoo and Baekhyun, who treat him and love him like a little brother, but Kyungsoo is surprised to see the tips of his ears turning red -and it’s not from the cold. Sehun blushing?! Kyungsoo wasn’t even sure that the notoriously poker faced Oh Sehun is capable of showing his emotions that way. That’s definitely unusual and noteworthy.

“Are you blushing?” Kyungsoo’s voice has a teasing lilt and he smirks, nudging Baekhyun conspiratorially. Sehun makes a whining sound in the back of his throat and wiggles uneasily under the attention, his fingers lacing together in front of him and fidgeting bashfully. Baekhyun grins mischievously.

“Yup, he is” he seconds and Sehun’s head snaps up, giving Baekhyun a scandalized and betrayed look, completely forgetting that his cheeks are beet red against his pale skin and they’re not hidden in the shadows anymore. He looks younger when he’s blushed and it’s sweet, but it looks so un-Sehun-like that Kyungsoo and Baekhyun start giggling and then guffawing openly, louder than Sehun’s indignant exclamation.

“Hyung!”

--

“Send me those reports tomorrow, if it is convenient. Hmm, yes, I see your point; that would be very helpful, indeed” Luhan jots something down quickly, his pen marking the paper with slanted letters that form many abbreviations in a row. The sharp glow of his desk lamp casts harsh shadows on his features and he looks serious and professional, until he blinks up at the screen and his watery deer eyes catch the light, making him look like an innocent child again. It looks odd and mismatching with his black office suit, but it looks nice on him. Sehun’s lips pull into a smile involuntarily, and Luhan gives him a curious look but he dismisses whatever question he had in his head in favor of the conversation he is having on the phone.

“I would appreciate it if we arranged that meeting soon. I’ll be expecting your call and make arrangements with Mr. Park accordingly” he says, rearranging some yellow post-it notes across the edge of the small bookshelf on his right. He puts aside two folders and Sehun notices a couple more books piling on the edge of the desk, where Luhan probably thinks that Sehun can’t see. Actually, Sehun can’t see much beyond the surface of the desk in front of Luhan and a few things on his left and right, even though the office is decently lit considering it’s past ten at night. It looks like a very spacious office, but perhaps it gets a little messy on the desk where Luhan mainly works. Sehun wouldn’t mind the mess and he knows of it very well; it’s not like he hasn’t shared a room with Luhan to have witnessed his clothes strewn on a chair instead of being folded in the closet, and to have stumbled on a pillow which Luhan threw at some point for some reason on the floor and then forgot to pick up again, and –you get the picture. He still likes Luhan, even if he’s messy.

“Thank you, sir. Goodbye” Luhan hangs up and then lets out a tired sigh, running his fingers through his hair and ruffling it. He doesn’t look polished and immaculate, as Sehun assumes he was in the morning, but Sehun likes it better this way. Luhan stays with his eyes closed for a few moments, and then he sighs again and starts putting books and folders on the shelf. He looks like he has completely forgotten about Sehun and that’s strangely amusing for the latter. But then he shifts his eyes to the screen with great precision and catches Sehun giving him dreamy eyes, and, even though Sehun doubts anyone can tell apart his dreamy eyes from any other expression, maybe Luhan can do that, because he smirks, raising an eyebrow.

“What. Have you never heard a person speak English?” he taunts playfully, fiddling with his shirt cuffs and undoing the buttons, rolling up the sleeves a little and flexing his wrists and fingers. Sehun presses his lips to hold back a smile, catching a glimpse of a mark on Luhan’s easily bruising skin, which he put there on the inner side of his elbow last night. Luhan sounds very nice when he’s using other languages and his accent is excellent in both Chinese and English, as Sehun has found out.

“You sound nice” he says in a voice that sounds too quiet, even in his empty and lonely apartment, but he smiles warmly at the camera. He wonders what he looks like, with a background drenched in shadows to hide his indifferent, scarce furniture, and with his wrinkled, blue t-shirt which he usually wears to sleep and today it happened to be the first thing he picked up before going in for a shower. He self-consciously ruffles the back of his hair which is still slightly wet. Luhan scoffs, tugging at his tie to loosen it.

“But of course; the microphone is only distorting my accent and my voice, why wouldn’t I sound fantastic?” he retorts sarcastically and then glances up to wave at someone unknown, proceeding to swing the door of his office close, presumably for privacy.

“I still think you sound nice” Sehun insists, biting his lip a little when Luhan finally takes off his tie and pops the first two buttons open. If only Sehun was there, all this unintentional teasing wouldn’t be going to waste…Luhan chuckles unconvinced, throwing the tie on his printer and leaning on his forearms against the desk. During the small silence that follows, he starts playing with a random black pen nervously. He twirls it in his hands and then starts sketching random patterns with it on a piece of a paper in vicinity.

“So, how does this thing work?” he questions, trying to sound offhanded but failing to do so, his eyebrows drawing together and his eyes focusing with unnecessary zeal on his doodles. Sehun thinks the blush he sees on Luhan’s cheeks is not just in his imagination. He smirks, even though Luhan is not looking, feeling proud of himself for figuring out another small piece of Luhan. It’s not a very convenient habit, but Luhan has his own strange way of coping with uncertain situations: he asks about them in a way that seems to either nullify or discredit the answer. It’s better if you let his brain do the work of dealing with his insecurities and keep an eye for any unresolved issues, instead of going into details and embarrassing confirmations of love and admiration -that will probably backfire, if it’s Luhan we’re talking about. He doesn’t need to explain how a skype date works, he just has to keep it working.

“I’m sorry I cancelled lunch” Sehun admits with a regretful sigh, keeping his voice calm. It was his fault they didn’t meet today; when he still had a schedule at the café, he planned a small lunch date with Luhan last night, trying the spontaneous approach, but luck wasn’t on his side. The café flooded to the point that little cups could float on the water pooling on the floor and they got the day off, but Sehun’s day was not exactly off, because an employee of today’s event got the stomach flu with severe symptoms and Sehun was called in for help. Baekhyun was much obliging and very discrete of course, but it’s not like Sehun can say no to his one and only Baekhyun hyung. As a result, their lunch date got cancelled.

“It’s fine, I was busy too. Still am.” Luhan dismisses the apology and then points at the phone with an accusing finger and a hateful glare at the device. The glowering glint in his eyes is the most passionate emotion he has shown ever since he answered the skype call. Then he sighs dejectedly, fading back to tiredness. “I’m sorry; I had to take that call” he apologizes for the nth time since the phone rang for the first time.

“Don’t worry, Luhan. This is just so that we can see each other a little anyway” Sehun reassures him and Luhan presses his lips in a thin, thoughtful line, staring at the screen of his computer. It’s a bit weird when you think you will be looking at the other person in the eyes, but the only way to do that is looking somewhere lower than his eyes, therefore exchanging eye contact ends up something like staring at each other’s shirts. Even so, Sehun is thankful he can see Luhan for a while. Maybe he can’t spend an entire day with Luhan, but he doesn’t want to let him too loose after vacation, because he can’t be sure how much it’ll take to rein him in again. He likes the concept of a relationship with Luhan, thank you very much, and he needs to keep reminding Luhan that they’re in a relationship or else the latter will probably remove himself from the equation out of guilt. Sehun grins mischievously, in an attempt to hopefully lift Luhan’s mood a little. “Besides, I got to hear you speaking in English. It’s actually kind of hot”

“With your hormones, anything seems hot, my friend” Luhan retorts with an incredulous chuckle. Sehun can’t say he completely disagrees with Luhan’s point, but there is one thing that bugs him in his response. His face falls and he defaults to poker face for a moment.

“Friend?” he emphasizes, raising an eyebrow. Friend? Really? How many miles after the border does he have to go to be considered as a decent man in love and undoubtedly out of the friendzone?! Luhan seems to catch on to Sehun’s trepidation in the small silence that follows and he leans back in his chair comfortably.

“Mhmm” he affirms casually, as if implying that Sehun shall not be knighted anything else other than a friend for today. But Sehun doesn’t give up as easily. Had he been in the same room with Luhan, he would have already cornered him somewhere and would have started whispering against his lips with additional promising small touches, until Luhan would cave in and call him by the proper term for their relationship status. Given that none of the above is feasible through a computer screen though, Sehun resorts to other methods.

Operation cute acts, commence.

“Say it once?” he asks, blinking in an unusually innocent way at computer the camera. He tries to mimic Baekhyun’s cute head tilt but he gives up soon because the charm is different and it might not work through the computer. He puffs out his cheeks cutely and pouts. He hasn’t done this much cute acting in at least the last seven years he can remember himself.

Needless to say, Luhan is dumbfounded on the other end of the line. He looks like he is having the apocalypse of his life, blinking hard, rubbing his eyes, his mouth unhinged and eyebrows raised to his hairline in disbelief. It’s kind of funny and Sehun has to keep himself from bursting into laughter twice as hard, trying not to laugh at Luhan and himself simultaneously. A few seconds pass in silence and then suddenly Luhan shakes his head, scrunching his nose and frowning.

“No, I’m at the office” he refuses adamantly, keeping his eyes closed to avoid looking at Sehun again. Describing the refusal as adamant is one thing, how many different concepts of adamant are available for interpretation is another.

“Please~” Sehun can’t believe he just sing-songed. God, he’s turning into Kai. The things he does for love. Luhan opens his eyes to glare at him but some of his surprise at seeing Sehun doing other cute gestures with his hands around his face slips through, spoiling the effect.

“Sehun” he warns. It was supposed to be stern and final, but it wavered to the point his voice trembled. Sehun sees light at the end of this dark tunnel in life which is called purposefully acting cute and to which he has resorted. He is not proud of it, but he doesn’t regret it either. Besides, this situation is making Luhan slightly embarrassed too, the tips of his ears pinking, and that should be enough to distract him from his tiring day at work. Sehun mentally pats himself on the back for doing a nice job as a boyfriend.

“Please?” Sehun brings his face closer to the camera, doing his best puppy eyes and pout, and that of embarrassment for a respectful scientist like himself -on paper, he is a genius in biochemistry after all- is the last straw for Luhan, the final drop that makes the glass overflow, and he explodes, throwing his arms in the air.

“Fine, you stubborn, childish, possessive, mean, embarrassing boyfriend!”

Sehun is not sure which one of them is currently sporting a more crimson color on their cheeks but he is sure both of them are trying to hide their smiles.

--

Chanyeol gulps down another aspirin in hopes of easing his pounding headache, which has not relented since this morning. Maybe the sixth aspirin will be the lucky one. He sighs and even his breath sounds uncomfortably loud to his ears. His eyes sting with every blink and his limbs feel an odd combination of numb and sore. Some of the information he read on paper after paper while at work are still floating in his head and pop up randomly, but the exhaustion helps him push them at the back of his mind easily. He wouldn’t say his work has followed him home to haunt him, but it has definitely made his brain messy. He presses the heel of his palm on one eye while putting away his glass of water on the kitchen counter, and then he starts dragging his long, heavy legs towards the bedroom, avoiding treacherous corners with practiced precision. If only he could teleport himself under the fluffy warm covers- wait. What is that sound?

When Chanyeol’s phone buzzes on the coffee table in the living room where he carelessly tossed it earlier, Chanyeol almost has a heart attack. The dull sound resounds like the bells of salvation for him and he is appalled at himself to have forgotten that he had been expecting a message from Baekhyun. It’s not so much the topic of their conversation as much as the actual fact of their communication that has Chanyeol feeling excited. Chanyeol pretty much jumps over the kitchen counter in his hurry, and he would summersault to get to the phone sooner, but he can’t be that agile for the life of him, so he simply runs the rest of the way to the device –maybe kicking a few innocent corners on the way but the pain is endurable. The phone almost tumbles out of his shaking hands but he manages to recognize ‘Baekhyunnie’ as the sender.

Chanyeol’s system fills with adrenaline and the excitement builds up with each heartbeat. It starts with a spasmodic kick of excitement but then all of his limbs start flailing about, with him having no control over them. He starts jumping in place, wiggling his waist and then playing imaginary drums. He fist-pumps like he’s in the greatest concert he’s ever been to and then starts humming ‘Sugar’ randomly –and hell, he didn’t even know he knew the lyrics to the song! He squats for momentum and hauls himself even higher in the air, squealing soundlessly and grinning so hard that his face must be creepy. He wonders what the inhabitants of the apartment bellow his would think of the muffled thuds on their ceiling, but he doubts anyone would ever guess that the respectable and handsome young man of the penthouse could turn into a blushing fanboying jumble of excitement under any circumstances. He might look like a playful, hyperactive, one-eighty-something meters tall seal, but he doesn’t regret it. His angel just messaged him, so of course he will do all the embarrassing happy dances his gangly body can manage! Wouldn’t you?!

He keeps doing this awkward bouncing and whirling and mute wailing thing for a considerable while -it’s surprising how his fatigue seems to have evaporated in a blink of the eye- and his enthusiasm doesn’t falter or fade; he feels like an eager little child anticipating a large scoop of his favorite ice cream flavor. But let’s be realistic; this is a message. And no, he doesn’t mean it in the play-it-cool-it’s-just-another-text sort of way, he means it in a Baekhyun-will-be-expecting-an-answer-sometime-soon sort of way; but first, he has to actually read the message. He’s usually faster when dealing with this whole process, not wanting to make Baekhyun feel even remotely neglected, but this time he blames it on his fatigue. He clears his throat and collects himself, as if Baekhyun can see him while he reads the message and he needs to look presentable –because, yes, Chanyeol is one of those half-crazy people who act like other people can see them through the phone– before he swipes his finger to read the message with a fluttering heart. The little angel promised to keep him updated on the cookie development, after all.

‘Cookie update: ingredients purchased successfully ^^’

--

Kai ruffles his hair with the towel, drying the roots and tussling the ends. He walks down the unlit hallway to the living room and peeks out of the windows. The lights inside his house are low and the rain outside is still heavy, forming a curtain of water over the city lights and making the view blurry and dim. The raindrops trickle down the window seal endlessly, pitter-patting in the silence. Kai pouts, feeling the depressive ambience seeping under his skin inside the loneliness of his apartment. The weather usually doesn’t affect him, but today he has reasons to be unhappy.

He huffs and walks to the couch, plopping down unceremoniously and tossing the towel on the side. His head falls back, his eyes close and the silence is ringing in his ears, but it’s his chest that feels the heaviest. He feels guilty. Feeling guilty means having regrets. It’s awful.

The rain picks up, white lightning tearing across the sky and fragmenting the grey clouds. He shouldn’t have pushed Kyungsoo so much to acknowledge their relationship. He should have known by now that being with someone is not something that Kyungsoo would be able to admit so easily. He’s been hurt and abandoned many times in his life before. It’s only reasonable that he doesn’t want to get hurt again. Kai doesn’t mean to hurt him of course, but what credit does Kyungsoo have over that? Trust? It’s not easy to trust someone when he looks just like any other of the bunch of the people who have betrayed and broken him. For Kyungsoo, hell is others, as Sartre put it.

And here comes Kai, suddenly asking for open commitment, at a time and place completely inappropriate, and without any form of fair warning…Stupid, stupid. He was being impatient and selfish -and maybe a little jealous, too. He doesn’t know what came over him all of a sudden. After all, he doesn’t need to have Kyungsoo’s official, verbal affirmation; being sort-of-together and living their romance just like any other couple would do is enough for him. It’s enough to see Kyungsoo’s smile, to kiss his lips and hold his hand, to see him thoughtful and listen to his complaints, to share the bed covers and trivial troubles with him; the big things in life are surprisingly those that seem inconsequential.

Kai is in the middle of debating with himself whether he should send a message to Kyungsoo or maybe call him and apologize, not forgetting to call himself ungraceful pet names for all his grand stupidity. You know what, apologizing from a distance is not going to cut it. Maybe he should buy roses and visit Kyungsoo, to tell him in person that he doesn’t care what the name for their relationship is as long as they are ‘trying this together’.

And he shouldn’t waste time, he should do it tonight. Kai springs up in the semi-darkness. Let the rain poor down on him –Kai picks up his coat, uncaring that he’s wearing only his pjs underneath and he’ll probably freeze to death within a minute- let the florist ask a fortune for even just one rose in the middle of the night –he shoves his feet in his shoes without bothering with shoelaces and he grabs his keys- let the streets be swamped with weather-induced traffic –he throws his wallet and his phone in his pocket- but tonight he is going to-

Kai opens the door and freezes.

Kyungsoo is standing outside.

Right outside his door, standing on a pool of gathering raindrops, is Kyungsoo, breathing with difficulty, as if he had been running, and shivering from the cold and sogginess. He’s wearing the same clothes he had been wearing in the morning, classic black suit drenched and clinging on his skin now, soaked so much that it should weigh a ton. He must have been walking in the rain for a while to get so wet. His hair is windswept and dripping wet, sticking to all directions, his lips are pale but his cheeks are rosy and moist, with droplets still streaming down his temples and neck. Kai feels a kick of concern in his gut, seeing Kyungsoo freezing in the rain, but the sight is very affecting in other ways too. But all that registers very vaguely in his brain because the shock is still fresh and too prominent; Kyungsoo is here. He’s here? Really here.

They stare at each other for a few long moments of stunned silence. Kai doesn’t know what to say. If Kyungsoo is not a hallucination, which is a sixty percent chance he is, what is he doing here? Should…should Kai say all the things he was meaning to say? Is this the way to apologize and explain? Maybe he should get Kyungsoo out of the cold first. But maybe Kyungsoo needed something urgently, to have come here in this terrible weather; should Kai ask him about it? Or would he sound insensitive and abrupt? My, does he want to rakehis fingers through those disheveled strands of chestnut hair…

Priorities are a very complex and messed up context in Kai’s head right now.

“I’m sorry” Kyungsoo breaks the silence suddenly, his voice sounding hoarse and faint in the aftermath of a deafening thunderclap that still echoes. Kai stares dazedly into the shorter’s wide eyes, which are dark and glassy. Kyungsoo is sorry? For what? He came here in the middle of the night and the pouring rain to apologize? The silence stretches while Kai’s brain spins with questions, and Kyungsoo bites his lower lip to keep it from trembling. That’s when Kai’s brain kicks back into gear.

“Wha-”

He doesn’t have time to finish his question as Kyungsoo lurches forward and attacks his lips. They stumble backwards into the apartment and Kai feels frozen with bewilderment, but his hands manage to hold onto Kyungsoo’s waist out of habit. He keeps them on their feet but Kyungsoo doesn’t seem to care about balance, leaning on Kai and throwing his arms around his neck to bring him closer, kissing him more. The kiss is furious and urgent, desperate. Kai doesn’t understand this at all, the whys and hows, but he steps around his confusion and responds to the kiss, because how can he not? He has everything he wants in his arms.

He closes his eyes and commits to it, pressing Kyungsoo against the door until it closes with a thud. Kyungsoo welcomes the response, half sobbing and half groaning in relief, clinging on him even tighter. Kai feels his own heart thudding rapidly in his chest, apologizing and hurting and pleading and yearning. There is a strange tension between them, something akin to regret mixing with their desire and igniting an urgent passion that engulfs them in a longing craze. They are so closely pressed on each other that Kai can feel Kyungsoo’s trembling, cold form, and the water starts soaking his garments too. Kyungsoo fists his fingers in Kai’s hair, pulling him closer almost painfully, sealing their lips against each other again and again, chasing away the air from their lungs and dispersing all thoughts and reason in Kai’s head. But then suddenly, he pulls back and locks his gaze with Kai seriously. A frown appears between Kai’s eyebrows, looking down at Kyungsoo with hazy thoughts about unanswered questions.

“We’re together. We are.” Kyungsoo reassures firmly, as they struggle to catch their breath in the little space between them. Kai feels his stomach lurching and it’s a little bit of guilt and happiness and relief and want that combine and nearly explode inside him. It’s one of those rare moments that he feels like he wants to cry but he’s reluctant to trust this moment. They’re both regretful and the tension between them is off the charts, pushing them to the edge of any direction their intuition takes them; things might be different in the morning.

But right now, he leans his forehead against Kyungsoo’s and the latter closes his eyes and in a big breath to calm down. Kai’s fingers slow down their purchase on the skin on Kyungsoo’s cold back and he holds him closer, but gently this time, trying to share his warmth and ease the thunderstorm in Kyungsoo’s chest. He tries to level his head and keep them in balance, keep them in a pace they can communicate and enjoy each other, instead of racing through their moments together, with the imminent risk of knocking everything they have out of balance on the way.

“I’m sorry too” he whispers, closing his eyes. His regret seems to amplify after Kyungsoo’s sudden confession and this feels wrong in general and it’s all his fault…He bites his lip, clutching on Kyungsoo for forgiveness and comfort. “I’m really sorry Soo” he nearly sobs, burying his face in Kyungsoo’s neck. Kyungsoo seems surprised for a moment, his hands fumbling on Kai’s shoulders, until they finally settle in a sweet embrace, both reassuring and frail. They hold onto each other tightly for a while, finding their calm and their equilibrium, finding that perfect, vulnerable point of stability between them, where they can both stay afloat and equal, where they can be honest with each other and true to themselves; and that’s when they can truly make one meaningful step closer to each other.

The silence lasts until they’re both peaceful and lulled into a tranquil haze by the rhythmic raindrops against the glass, the thunderstorm easing into a heavy drizzle. They’re still leaning against the door but neither cares, and now Kyungsoo is a little warmed up. He caresses Kai’s neck with his fingers, curling his hand around his nape to guide his head and bring his face out of hiding. Kai opens his watery eyes to see Kyungsoo looking up at him with his sincere, large eyes.

“It’s okay” he whispers gently and timidly. Kai gives him a good look and nods slightly. Kyungsoo’s lips quiver into an almost smile and then he lifts himself on his toes, pressing his lips against Kai’s once, twice, three times, and then keeping them molded on Kai’s lips for longer. Kai accommodates him by leaning down and keeping him steady by the waist, kissing back and taking his time, nothing like the furious need from before but rather a soft flame that grows affectionately between them. Kyungsoo’s fist tightens on Kai’s shirt in a way that makes Kai’s heart squeeze, and Kai knows they’re not okay yet, but they are going to be.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n. Hello loves! This chapter got a little angsty, I know -we’re going to have a few slightly gloomy chapters, because that’s a part of life as well- but I think there are still squeal-worthy moments in there& by no means am I going to make you depressed; I’m just strengthening the attachment bonds between these sweethearts…Besides, it’s a good opportunity to see the dynamics of each couple and give a little push and spice to the plot^^

Now, I don’t know where to begin with all the things I’d like to say to you guys, but first and foremost THANK YOU SO MUCH for your support and kindness!!!*-* It means so much to me that you have taken an interest in my story& you keep sending me so much love that I honestly feel like bursting into fireworks! I know there are still unanswered messages and subscriptions (you guys basically tripled in less than a month! @.@ but I’m working on it, I promise) but I want you to know that I appreciate every single one of you& I’ll do my best to make you all a little happier in your life! I’m a fairly friendly person, so don’t hesitate to communicate with me any time, I’d love to get to know you a little better^^ Last but not least, I’d like to thank miss Elle from baekyeol fics for her very sweet recommendation (this has to be done in public since I don’t know who you are XD); you’re the reason I suffered too many heart attacks for my age, but I still thank you immensely for this priceless opportunity to share my ideas with so many fluff-stricken kittens around the world! I wish I could hug you, and all of you really, because you all make me so happy& I want to share my happiness with you!^v^ I love you, and I mean it! <3 Until next time, kitty