I woke up by the sound of rain. It was afternoon and just in time for lunch. The nurse came in with the food and I basically the plate clean even though the food wasn’t so great; my appetite finally coming back. After I was finished, I was visited by Changmin and Victoria.

            “Really Jiwon? REALLY?” was the first thing Changmin said after entering the room.

            “Oppa calm down.” Said Victoria rubbing his arm. “She’s hurt. She doesn’t need this too.” She said again. Changmin softened. I can see the impact Victoria has on him.

            “Look I’m sorry hyung. It’s not like it’s totally my fault.”

            “Not your fault Jiwon?” he almost glared at me.

            “Okay, okay. I’m really REALLY REALLY sorry okay?” I said surrendering.

            “I wanted to tell you-”

            “No you didn’t Jiwon-”

            “But with everything going, and then you have Victoria. I didn’t think it was important?” I was still trying to find a solid excuse but nothing seems to work.

            “Excuses. Excuses.” He crossed his arms.

            “But hey, at least I’m safe right?” I tried again.

            “After you almost died.”

            “Almost doesn’t count.”

            “Jiwon.”

            “I said I’m sorry! I really am. I promise to tell you next time.”

            “Oh no, no, no. There won’t be a next time.” He looked like he was gonna make sure of it. Well, I certainly don’t want a ‘next time’ too, even though it was quite the experience.

            Victoria’s phone rang and she excused herself. I suddenly remembered something.

            “Hyung, I’ve been meaning to tell you. About Victoria this time.” I add quickly. “I heard her with the headmistress of my school. They didn’t seem too friendly.” I saw his facial change.

            “Damn it. They never stop. Now the headmistress too?” he says, more to himself. Although he didn’t look too surprised.

            “Hyung, are you guys really okay? Will this end well?” I ask him worriedly.

            “Don’t worry about us. You yourself are in a tight situation. Have your father visited?” He’s changing the subject; it worked. My mind drift off to father, come to think of it, he haven’t. Changmin understood the silence. Victoria comes in, and this time hyung’s phone beep. He almost cursed looking at who it is.

            “We gotta go Jiwon.” He says.

            “We’re leaving already?” asks Victoria. She wasn’t surprised, must have gotten used to it after a year of being together.

            “It’s okay. Thanks for stopping by.” I told them. Changmin patted my hand and Victoria hugged me before they left.

            I sigh watching them. Before I could think about their relationship and my father, the boys arrived. Mark wasn’t with them.

            “I never knew you were a hero.” said Yugyeom joking.

            “Nice to see you too boys.” I chuckled. Man I’ve got a lot of visitors. Mark had explained to them what happened so there weren’t much question asks. Although Jr. was asking a lot about Ssul.

            “Dude calm down. We’re here for Jiwon. We know you’re crazy for Sulli but man this is the wrong time.” Said Jackson with a playful push at Jr.

            “I’m not crazy about her. I just-”

            “Really really really like her?” I guessed. He glared at me. We all laugh it off.

            Bambam and Youngjae start to joke around too much until the nurse came in, looking angry. JB of course apologized on their behalf. He smacked them both on the head after the nurse left.

            “We bothered you enough Jiwon. Next time it’ll be the security. Recover soon.” Said JB dragging the boys out. I wave them goodbye.

            I thought there won’t be any visitors left but even Amber, Luna and Krystal swing by to visit me. It was a short visit from them but I still appreciate it. I rest a little more and was woken up by Mark’s visit.

            “Oh, I didn’t know you were asleep.” He said.

            “There’s nothing else to do.” I told him honestly.

            “I’m not gonna be here long. I brought you these.” He said taking out a bag. He took out the things for me.

            “Books for your brain and laptop for entertainment. How’s that for a good boyfriend?” he smiled. Boyfriend, huh, this guy just loves to make things official on his own. I rolled my eyes.

            “You’re such a bragger Mark. How did I find a boyfriend like you?” I said, confirming. We’re both just weird the way we are. He smiled wider.

            “Well, read well. Or whatever.” He said and left after a while.

            I was reading the books when it was time for me to eat the meds. The nurse was leaving when Larry entered.

            “Hi Larry. It’s about time you visi-” I stop at mid-sentence after my father entered behind him.

            “-ted me.” I finished my sentence looking at Larry and ignoring my father.

            “I know right. Glad you’re doing fine. We have everything we want now, so you don’t have to worry about anything. Sorry to drag you into this. But you’ve been great. I’m actually quite proud.” He chuckled to this before continuing. “Anyway, your father and I had already settled everything for you so you won’t have to do any explanation. I’ll try to not let you attend court, I’m sure you’ve done enough.”

            “Oh please Larry. Court’s fine. I’ll gladly go and testify for the jerks. I am half responsible for them. The police can’t take all the credits from me.” He laughs at this while I just smiled. Eyes wandering off to my father.

            “I’ll leave you two alone. And this time guys, let everything off your chest. You don’t have forever you know.” Larry advices us before leaving.

            My father took the seat beside me. I took a deep breathe before turning to face him.

            “I’m sorry-” We both said it at the same time. He chuckled, I repeat, he chuckled. “Lady’s first then.” He said motioning me to speak first. I half smiled.

            “I’m sorry for rushing things and not giving you much time. I wasn’t being a good daughter and I regret it. I thought about a lot of stuff while I was here. I realized that, I was wrong about you. Wrong about how I treated you. It wasn’t your fault. It’s nobody’s fault.. But I…” I sniff, swallowing my tears; the emotions were getting to me. “But I.. I just want someone to blame for everything. You were there, but not really there. You were trying, but not really trying.  I…I just….” I ran out of words to say. I thought there were a lot of things that I wanted to say, but everything is just black right now and I don’t even know why.

            “Jiwon-ah..” he started off softly, making me look at him. “You were right to blame me. I wasn’t there, wasn’t really trying.. not being a good father. I shouldn’t have been weak, and I’m sorry to have burdened you with things you’re not even supposed to think about right now. After your mum…. left, I needed time to think, I guess I took too much time. You’ve suffered enough, and I wasn’t helping. I’m sorry. I’ll try better.”

            “We’ll both try better.” I corrected him. He smiled.

            “Do you have any idea how worried I was when I found out you really left? I thought you were kidding! I should’ve known you had the guts to do them.” I smiled too. “Larry told me when the situation got serious. I just couldn’t sit down anymore. I just thought… I couldn’t lose you too.”

            “Thanks for coming dad.”

            “Thank you for being safe.” He kissed my forehead and gave me a hug. A tear escape my eyes and I wiped it out quickly. This isn’t the time to cry, I told myself.

            “It’s okay to cry. You’ve been holding enough tears.” He said suddenly. And so my tears didn’t stop falling and cried on his shoulders. Everything is out now. Crying made me feel better somehow. I was glad it was my father’s shoulder that I lean on.

            I slept well through the night. My father sleeping beside me, holding my hand until morning came.