~ Sunggyu's Mind/Dream ~

I was laying as still as a board but I knew that I was still alive becuase my heart was beating in my ear and it was giving me a headache. Opening my eyes I was surronded by the darkness I became use to through out my life and I was just waiting for some one or something to come by and wake me up. I stayed in that spot for a while then I suddenly heard soft and gentle foot steps walking towards me and I could already tell who it was by the way the light was coming closer and closer. Sitting up I came face to face with the Sunggyu that I saw months ago with the long fiery bright red hair and wings big enough to save a whole family of seven. He smiled at me but then that quickly faded away when he got a good look at me, claping his hands the light became brighter and suddenly we were sitting in a medow underneth a big tree. I looked up to see the sun in the sky and the clouds looked plump and perfect lke something out of a book, when I looked over Sunggyu was sitting next to me putting his hair into a ponytail.

Sitting there I just watched him do his hair in awe becuase if my hair was that long in my "past" life why did I cut it? After he finished he looked at me and told me to turn around and face him so we could talk face to face. Getting up from my spot I sat down in front of him and then suddenly sprouting from two flowers were cans of pop, which I happily took with a thank you and was surprised when they whipered your welcomed. I was so caught up in what was arond me that I forgot about the angry red head siting right infront of me, well that was until he hit me with one of his wings.

Sunggyu: Hey why did you do that?

Angel Gyu: Because you weren't listening, anyway I told you to reassur him not try to kill your self!

Sunggyu: Sorry but I was just tired of everything! Myungsoo was the only guy that I every got the chance to actually fall in love with and he just took that love away.

Angel Gyu: Why am I so stupid? He wasn't doing it to break your heart, he was doing it to protect you!

Sunggyu: Huh?

Angel Gyu: Watch this

He pointed towards the sky telling me to lay down on the grass and when I did the clouds formed a screen and the first thing I could see was Myungsoo. He was laying in the hospital bed across from me with his leg bandaged and hanging from a sling, but all I could see was the tears rolling down his eyes. The next scene it showed me was after Myungsoo wanted to break up and how he ran out the door standing in the rain he said " This is the only way to protect you Sunggyu" then he ran away. Switiching to another scene which seemed like it was happening now Myungsoo was in a wheel chair leg still wrapped and he was holding my hand and crying but around all that I saw that he had his ring back on which made a tear slip from my eye. It kept on showing me scenes of Myungsoo doing whatever he could to protect me and hard he was crying as he layed down somewhere and was calling out my name.

When the videos ended I was laying in the grass crying my heart out becuase I didn't know that he was doing so much just to keep me alive and healthy. Suddenly my head was lifted onto a lap that was squishy but firm and it felt like my thighs but I knew whom it belonged to. He started to my head telling me to calm down and that it was alright becuase I didn't know what was going on at the time. Sitting up I wipped my face of tears and turned towards Sunggyu and I said what I have been thinking for a while now.

Sunggyu: I love Myungsoo! I love him so much that it hurts when he goes away or can't stay home becuase of buissness.

Angel Gyu: That is how much he loves you also, now next time don't you ever do this again or I'm going to take you straight to the old man upstairs, okay?

Sunggyu: I promise! Now lets go home where we truly belong.

Angel Gyu: And where is that?

Sunggyu: In Myungsoo arms with boys screaming Ma and Mommy all day long

Angel Gyu: Aish....When did we get so wise and cunning?

Sunggyu: We've been like this for a while now you never noticed?

Angel Gyu: Whatever lets just go, are you ready?

Sunggyu: I was born ready

Quickly the medow and everything disappered and we were standing back in the dark room, the old me had his wings back on and he walked away disappering saying he is going to guide me when ever I need it. I layed back down on the floor in my first position and closed my eyes tightly and slowly I drifted back to sleep.

~ Sunggyu's Mind/Dream End ~

I opened my eyes to see a head of black hair laying down on my stomach which I automatically knew that it was Myungsoo. Lifting the hand that he wasn't holding I slowly placed it on his head which made him look up at me, smiling I mouthed a hello then he sat up dressed in his usal all black attire and started to cry. He wasn't crying as hard as he would usually do but the tears were falling from his eyes and he was trying to hold back his sobs, which I thought was cute. He looked at me for a moment then suddenly jumped up and hugged me but it was kind of awkward becuase his leg was in a cast while I was hooked to machines but we made it work. After a few minutes he called in a nurse which brought a doctor along, they did a check up but then they asked me to speak and that made me panic. I tried to speak but no words would come out not even a sound which had me freaking out so bad that the nurse had to sedate me so I could stay still and not injure myself further.

The doctor walked out with the nurse trailing behind him saying that he had to talk to my family about my condition and that I was awake. I mouthed to Myungsoo asking how long was I out and he replied that I was out for 2 years, and when I pointed towards his leg he tld me that he busted it a when I was in the hospital and since he stopped his naturally healing proccess it is taking long than it normal would. I quietly laughed at him and soon my parents and Heechul were walking in the door with there heads down and crying, which I really didn't understand becuase they should be happy that I was awake. The doctor followed behind them bringing another doctor with a machine and a notebook, everybody stood/sat around me while the doctors started to hook up the machines and stuff handing me the notebook.

Dr.: Sunggyu say your abc's for me please?

I opened my mouth but nothing came out even though my lips were moving pretty quickly, which made me fustrated so I stopped when I reached the letter O.

Dr.: Sunggyu tell me what you are feeling right now?

Again I opened my mouth and the same thing happened again making me bust out in tears they ran down my face falling onto the cover of the notebook that I had in my hands. I looked around to see Mom in tears along with Heechul, while Donghae and Dad were standing there looking like they were about to faint. Suddenly the door opened and I heared to pairs of little feet run into the room followed by four airs of bigger ones, when I looked up I saw Amber, Dongwoo, the twins, Eunhyuk hyung, and a little girl who I guess is Heechul and Siwon's daughter.

Dr.: Sunggyu can you please breath into this tube but instead of just breathing out air breath out words. Now while you are doing this tell me how you are feeling?

I took the tube putting it into my mouth turning the screen towards me so I can make sure what I was saying was correct. It didn't really take that long for me to say what I needed to becuase it came out pretty quickly and accurate.

Sunggyu: ' I feel confused, What is going on? '

Dr.: Sunggyu I'm sorry to tell you this but you can't speak anymore

Sunggyu: ' So your telling me that I'm mute now, right? '

Dr.: Sorry but thet is correct, seeing as though you have master this machine we are going to recomind that you buy one. Also you can use the notebook when ever you run out of breath or get tired of having the tube in your mouth.

The doctors left leaving the machine telling us where we could buy one and also perscribing me nedication for when I am discharged from the hospital. Everybody walked slowly towards me but all I could do was breath/ scream into a tube making all of my words come out capitalized. I just can't handle this anymore becuase now I am mute and won't be able to talk becuase I decided to kill myself, I should of just drowned myself or soemthing else becuase then I would still be able to talk. I spit the tube out of my mouth throwing myself back onto the bed and started to thrash around in anger which had everybody back up for a minute before proceeding. When they finally stopped and where surronding me they all gave me sympathtic looks which I ignored and looked at Myungsoo to see his chair rolled into the corner of the room, I wanted to yell at him what I told the other Sunggyu but then again I can't speak and I didn't want to put it on the screen.

We all stayed in silence until visiting hour was over I even got to meet Heechul's daughter Takei Emi who looks so much like Heechul but I was even more surprised to find out that Heechul was pregnant again. I was happy when it was only me and Myungsoo left in the room so know we could finally talk per-say in private, Myungoo rolled over towards me with a computer in his hand and I was surprised becuase he has been in that corner basically all day. He handed it to me and when he saw the confused look on my face he laughed and ruffled my now long hair while calling me cute.

Myungsoo: It is a computer specailized for you, see you type in what you want to say and it comes out sounding just like you.

I tried it and was surprised to hear it sound exactly like how I normally would sound which had me giving Myungsoo a kiss making him blush. I used it making it say a whole bunch of things that were irrelvent, I even made it laugh like me which I was even more thankful for.Knowing that it was going to sound like me and everything I told Myungsoo to go lay down before I nurse comes by asking why is he still in his chair. I don't know why but for some reason I didn't think it was the right time to tell him even though he probably already knows. Laying back down I sat the computer next to me so it can be easy to take in the morning when I wake up and want to ask something ot if I need somwthing. I started to play with my ring waiting until I feel asleep so that I could wake-up tomorrow and see Myungsoo's face again becuase no matter what happens Myungsoo is my life and I don't know why I wanted to take that away from me?