NOW

APRIL 2017

                THIS was not the way he planned, or something he had wanted to do, but Naeun was giving him no choice. His room was cold, and on top of that the heater is broken and the technician he called since morning never showed up. Also, he would like to blame the cold medicine for doing this to Naeun.

                “I just –need some peace,” Jongin said breathlessly, tightening his embrace. Naeun did not move any further after what Jongin had said to her, and she could not even think of anything at that point. She was as still as rock, and as silent as the darkest night. Jongin tilted his head, drawing in so close to her Naeun thought there was no cover between them.

               
                “What – are you doing?” She could sense him underneath the thick cover, and hid herself even more.

                “You are quiet so suddenly,” Jongin whispered, curious.

                “Back off,” Naeun pressed on her tone. “Or I will kill you.”

                “Not underneath the cover, you’re not.”

                “Yah-”

                “I just need some more minutes. This is nice – the way we are now.”

                “1 minute.”

                “So,” Jongin cut across her smoothly, disregarding her warning and pulled her even closer into his arms. She was suffocating but it was not the embrace alone that made her felt that way, but how he had kept her crazy and sane at the same time.

                “What?” Naeun’s voice cracked but he took no notice of it.

                “Have you made up with your parents?”

                “Uh-huh.”

                “Good. I don’t think it’s good to prolong the argument any further. Especially with your parents.”

                “Yeah.”

                “And did the meeting go well today?”

                “Oh. Yeah. It did.”

                “Who took the meeting minute?”

                “My dad’s assistant, I think. I don’t know.”

                “Good. I’m worried about your condition at work today because I’m afraid you’d still got caught up with your disastrous wedding, but it seems like you’ve got everything under control. That’s good.”

                “Not exactly under control,” Naeun denied, face flushed. “But, yeah, I think I take it all very well today.”

                “Good,” he repeated probably for the umpteenth time. Naeun was about to cut him off but he went on with another topic. “I liked the jjajangmyun you brought today. That was the best I had so far, I think. It’s hard to find a good Chinese restaurant these days. Can you take me there one day? I’d love to go there and try other delicious Chinese food.”

                “Sure,” Naeun nodded her head slowly. He sure talks a lot tonight.

                There was a moment of fleeting silence from Jongin and for a minute there Naeun was slightly convinced that this guy has fallen asleep on top of her – in which if that actually happened, God knows what Naeun would do to Jongin to make him pay. How dare he, shamelessly, treat her like a cushion and got away with it? She turned to her right in a half-roll to wake him up only to find him tighten the grip around her.

                 “Oh God, I hate broken heaters,” Jongin announced straight out.

                “Then get off of me – and use this cover for yourself. You’re still down with fever, aren’t you?”

                “Hush,” he snapped, crisp and clear.  “I’m fine.”

                “I think we’re past 1 minute. You need to get off of me.”

                “Why?”

                “Because this is hell uncomfortable, okay? Don’t push your luck. I won’t go easy on easy just because you’re in a bad condition. I’m not a Goddamn giant sushi.”

                “Don’t worry, you’d make a good giant sushi,” Jongin made a face at her jokingly, and continued to squeeze Naeun even further. “Also – I’m fine.”

                Naeun knew her instinct was not wrong, and she knew he was hiding something behind his unusual clinginess. He kept making empty conservation and kept dragging on with his talk when he was always on the side of the party that has less topic to talk about.

                 “Something is certainly wrong,” Naeun told him of her instinct and insisted to push off the weight of her body.

                “Nothing is,” Jongin said reassuringly. “Trust me.”

                “No-” Naeun struggled free finally, pushing up the weight that has been pinning her down and threw off the cover away with the force. Finally.

                Jongin was clearly surprised to learn the extent of her strength. He laid back, arms open and bare, empty. Naeun was panting, sitting at the end of the bed, fairly surprised at her strength too, and looked on at Jongin with a winning smirk.

                Jongin nodded in a rhythm, acknowledging his boss’s manpower with a double thumbs-up. “You’re strong, Son Naeun.”

                “Just go to sleep,” Naeun breathed out, tired and soulless. “Stop talking about petty stuff with me if you’re not gonna talk to me about what actually bothers you, okay, because I can tell that there’s something wrong with you. You never made any small, pointless talk with me before and – you’re unusually attached for some reason tonight, and I know that isn’t your normal self. So - either tell me what’s wrong, because I want to help you, or if you want me to only listen, then I will, or shut up if you don’t want talk about it. Like, don’t drop any more hints because I’m not stupid. I know that there’s something that’s bothering you,” Naeun could even trace her anger in her words but she did not mean to pressure Jongin anymore than this. So she took a breath in to calm herself down. Jongin was quiet, but his gaze was still fixated on her.

“You don’t need to return the favour,” Jongin finally broke the silence, his jaw flexed.  (Jongin thought Naeun wanted to help him back because he helped her a lot before)

“This isn’t about favour, you idiot,” Naeun spat out furiously. “I mean everything I just said.”

Jongin was touched from the bottom of his heart to hear Naeun’s sound reasoning. He was looking at her, deeply, and noticed how her blond hair really brought out her milky white skin. He also noticed how her rosy cheeks has turned to red blood, and realised only that instant that she was just as fazed as he was by the honest remark.

                Jongin calculated about a lot things in his head as he kept looking on to Naeun. There was something in her eyes that looked too genuine when she talked about what she felt just now and that was the first time Jongin ever seen someone paying that much attention to what he said, and did not say. The feelings were unfamiliar for him and he wondered if he will grow attach to this kind of feeling?

                Jongin finally had decided. He moved forward, straddling in front of Naeun and pulled her in for a hug. He was being cautious of her thought about his doing this to her, but as seconds passed, he chose not to care anymore. Jongin selfishly wanted to have her in his arms, and this time he wanted no cover between them.

                “Yah…” Naeun’s cheeks burned with seconds as she did not expect this kind of respond from him after all her rant. Her arms were down and frozen, but the warmth of Jongin’s skin began to awaken her senses.

                “If you hate this,” Jongin whispered into her ears and the closeness of his voice raised the hair on the back of her spine. She shuddered, and fought to keep calm. “I can write off your debt of 100K KRW.”

                “You idiot,” Naeun said, hitting his back to cover her embarrassment, and she slowly drew up her hands on his broad back to hug him back. “I told you this isn’t a favour.”

                “Then what is this?”

                “I don’t know,” she said, shoulders shrugged. “But I know I don’t want you to feel sad. So, if this helps, you can hug me all you want, no matter how long.”

                Jongin’s heart was immaculately moved upon hearing her words. He was smiling a sad smile and buried half his face into Naeun’s shoulders. He was pulling her in, wanted to have a grasp of this moment before he lost it. Even if this was a dream, he was grateful to have come across one.

                NAEUN apparently has become the single person he has ever confided into about on most of his life stories; the ones he wished not to share with anyone else but with Taemin. It was 1.19 AM when Jongin woke up in the middle of the night, feeling relieved; as though a strong emotion has been washed away- all his fears and nightmare and worries. This was the nice, weightless feeling he hadn’t felt in a long time. Jongin turned to his right and saw that Naeun was sleeping soundly beside him. She did not stir in her peaceful sleep, but somehow, out of the sudden, as though a predator has been stalking on its prey, she made a move and brought her hand up to his closest ear, and then she rubbed his earlobe. Jongin flinched, outstandingly dumbfounded, but he stayed still because he didn’t want to wake her up.

                It was ticklish; the way she rubbed along the pinna and pinching at the lobe. He pulled his head away slightly but Naeun was fast to re-track his ear down.

                What kind of is this?

                And all this while she is deeply in her sleep?

                Jongin pulled away again, his head no longer resting on the pillow, and then Naeun was budging in her sleep, softly as she was frustrated with the short fun she had fulfilling her abnormal desire. Her hand moved around again, and she found once again his ear. Jongin grabbed her hand and pushed it backward to her tummy. He got up – practically disturbed and aroused, and went to sleep outside.

                Also, he did not want to sleep to in the same bed as Naeun. Jongin realised he should respect her, no matter under what circumstances.

                IT was 1201. Her new password that she recently changed to was 1201 – and it was Jongin’s birthday, and it was the same password Naeun first used to change Jongin’s old password when she was deeply irritated by his thoughtless action. But it was all in the past, and they have come so far since then. She did not know how the memory of her new password came, but that was the first she thought of when she opened her eyes that bright morning. Sun was streaming in through the blinds in the strange bedroom and she rubbed her eyes twice to take a proper look at her surrounding.

                Oh right.

 Naeun finally remembered falling asleep on Jongin’s bed last night after he had come to his senses and told her about what actually bothered him. It was about his mother.

She turned to her right, and saw that the cover was blanketing something big and long. Startled, she quickly pulled it down, revealing Jongin’s pillow.

And when she turned to her left, Jongin was only walking in and leaned against the door frame on his one shoulder. Naeun gasped, as though she has a ghost and quickly fixed her hair.

“Don’t worry,” Jongin smiled shortly. “You did not snore, and I did not wake up this early from your loud snoring even when I was across the room.”

“Yah!” Naeun yelled, and felt muscle pulled. “I did not snore. I never snored.”

“That’s what I said,” Jongin raised his brows in unison, belittling the nervous Naeun playfully and maintained an ice-cold glare as he invited her for a breakfast.

“I will kill you,” Naeun mumbled underneath her breath, but her body was already moving towards the source of good smell coming in from the kitchen. She got off the bed and followed Jongin out of the room. “-only after a good eat.”

“Wash your face and brush your teeth first,” he paused and turned around to remind her. Naeun almost bumped into him, unconscious of her eagerness and quickly nodded like a good child she was. Jongin smiled a little and gestured a nod towards the bathroom. Naeun did not whine and made a quick walk to the bathroom.

“You can find the same toothbrush you used last time in the container.”

“You did not throw it away?” Naeun was smirking as she unlocked the bathroom door. “Don’t tell me you were hoping for my company ever since I slept over the other day?”

“Any more nonsense and no breakfast for you.”

“I see that your cold, mean, bullying self has returned. Your fever probably has gone away.”

“Hurry up and wash up.”

DURING the breakfast, all that Naeun could think about was how he had fallen asleep next to her after telling her about what happened to his mother and how did he end up at the shelter. And why he hated broken heaters. She could still remember clearly his face when he talked about his loving mother and her fragile body and how his life changed over some old, broken heater he had back at his old house that has cost him her mother, and pretty much his normal childhood. He did not cry like he had when he was talking about Taemin, but there was still a forlorn tone in his voice when he was telling it, and seeing him bracing himself every time he took a pause made Naeun realised how emotionally strong this guy was. There was no one like him.

No one like Kim Jongin in this world – and she was choking on the inside at the thought of even knowing his name; what more his life story and what happened to his best friend.

“Stop picking at your food,” Jongin said suddenly, and Naeun jumped at the hoarse voice of his. Morning voice – so ing handsome.

Crap. Naeun-ah, pull yourself together.

“I’m not,” she denied, but she was already deboning her entire fried mackerel.

“What are you thinking?”

“Nothing.”

“If I were to guess, you’re probably thinking of my mom.”

“A little,” she lowered her head, and picked a small lump of rice with her chopsticks.

“You can sympathize,” Jongin said suddenly. “But don’t try to make me feel better or anything. It’s an old story. I have moved past it.”

“It’s your mom. You can never move past it. Wait – don’t ever move past it. That’s not nice. You told me not to prolong the-”

“I moved past the fact that I am on orphan. I did not say I have moved past my mom.”

“Good,” Naeun nodded awkwardly. She fed herself with the flesh of the fish that she had deboned, and put some of it into Jongin’s rice bowl. “Yeah, but don’t get too immersed into your past. I don’t want you to get carried away and lose yourself and everything you have worked for so far just because you could not let go of something that you once owned or had. I mean, in life, people lose things, and people receive things. Like me. Take Minhyuk for example- a pain in the I undeservingly receive, but, hey, I preserved - with a lot of struggle, and your help - of course.”

“You’re getting unnecessarily deep,” Jongin squinted his eyes, amused. “But, don’t worry. I won’t do that either.”

“Good,” Naeun nodded again, and her deadly serious expression brought a smile to his face. “Also – urm, did we sleep on the same bed?”

“Why?”  He faked a nonchalant expression. “You hated being in the same bed as me?”

“So we did?”

“You don’t remember?”

“I do not…” Her voice was low and weak. “I just don’t want you to think that I’m easy.”

“Huh?”

“You might have a different idea of me when you realise I have this short-term memory, and I forget and lose things easily, but I am not the kind of woman who would throw my body away to any man who’s in pain or in need of a company. I am not a cougar who would pound on its weak and hopeless prey. So, yeah, I mean, I know nothing weird happened last night, but still, if we did fall asleep together in a same bed, I want you to know that it won’t happen again.”

“Too bad you didn’t remember what happened,” Jongin shrugged, half-smirking.  “You were-”

“YAH!” Naeun’s voice tone elevated in a high pitch and her hand flew across the table to give Jongin a good smack on the shoulder. “NOTHING HAPPENED. I KNOW NOTHING HAPPENED, JESUS CHRIST. ALL WE DID WAS SLEEP. I KNOW ALL WE DID WAS SLEEP SO DON’T GO SAY WEIRD THINGS AROUND, YOU JERK"

Jongin was stunned to witness Naeun’s mental outburst, and realised how the matter had bothered her dearly. He rubbed his aching shoulder, wincing in pain, though he knew he deserved that much.

“You were not snoring,” Jongin added quickly. “I was gonna say that you were not snoring. I was tryna’ pull your leg.”

“That was not funny,” Naeun frowned, grunting. “You need to work on your sense of humour because it is painfully lacking.”

“And I slept outside.”

“You did?” Her face lit up in an instant. “You really did?” Naeun quickly turned to the living room and saw how the cushion on the couch was laid down as a pillow and there was red blanket resting in a fold at the arm of the couch.

“I did,” he nodded. “Why are you so freaked out? I know my lines.”

“I know you do,” Naeun said quickly. “I just wanted to make sure of things because, you know, I did not remember.”

“I bet you didn’t remember why I woke up in the middle of the night. Naeun, I was seriously traumatized. I don’t think I could ever go through that again.”

Naeun lifted her chin, silenced, and her expression turned grey gradually. “What – happened?”

“We're never gonna be in the same bed anymore, so don’t worry about it. Just finish up your meal,” Jongin snorted, intending to keep some of the things to himself. 

“Kim JonGIN, WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED?”

HYORIN’s heart tugged heavily as she forced herself to enter the entrance of Junjin Hospital; the first time she ever stepped foot onto after she last send Hyeri to ICU. A day she dreaded the most in her life but that memory remained the most vivid. She went over to the information counter and greeted the nurse with a nervous smile.

“Hello,” Hyorin began, her hands were shaking as she pulled them down from the counter.

“Good morning,” the nurse with a single dimple on the right cheek nodded kindly. “How may I help you?”

“I, uhm, am an old friend of a patient named Cho Lana. I was wondering if you could tell me where her room is?”

“I’m sorry, but unless you bring a specific note from the doctor or Miss Lana’s guardian themselves only then I could tell you what you want.”

“No, you see,” Hyorin’s voice shook. “I, uhm, have lost contact with her for more than 3 years, and I only found out about her recently. I did not know she was hospitalized here, and I really, really need to see her, so, if only you could at least tell me who’s the doctor in charge, or how can I contact Lana’s guardian, then I’d be so grateful.”

“I’m sorry, Miss,” the nurse shook her head with a faint smile. “I am honestly in no position to give you what you want without the necessary note. It’s the hospital protocol.”

“Just the doctor’s name. Please. You have no idea how desperate I am. I really need you to help me. Just give me his name and office, and I will work out other things myself. Just let me have this one, please.”

The nurse was reluctant at first, but seeing how desperate Hyorin truly was, she finally went through some files on the table and input something into the computer, before scribbling something on a piece of yellow note. The nurse looked up to meet Hyorin’s hopeful gaze and smiled shortly at her. Underneath her palm, she slid the note towards Hyorin.

“Miss Lana’s doctor is Dr. Jinki, and below is his office,” the nurse pointed out the number room written on the note. “You can go see him on level 4, but I can’t guarantee you if he’s in, because he spends most of his time in the psychiatric wing. But, please don’t go see him in the psych wing or you might hinder his work. He’s pretty workaholic, from what I’ve heard. Most doctors do not leave office until 1 AM, so – I’m sure you get my point. But try not to stay until then because you’re gonna raise suspicion.”

“I understand. Thank you so much.”

“And also don’t linger around the corridor, or you’re gonna get chased out.”

“Of course,” Hyorin nodded, her face hardened. “I will keep that in mind.

“I’m sorry. This is all I can help you with.”

“This is more than enough.” Hyorin’s beamed at the petite nurse and offered a handshake. “Thank you so so much.”

***

Hiiiiii guyssss <333