NOW

APRIL 2017

                HER cold fingers seemed to melt in his own, both sharing the warmth from one skin. Minhyuk looked up, staring at the sleeping Lana before he leaned in to kiss her hands gently. Seconds later, as though on cue, Lana woke up from the sweet little kiss like a sleeping beauty. Her brown eyes fluttered up at the relieved-looking Minhyuk before trying to break free from Minhyuk's usual clinginess.

                "Where am I?" She asked hastily, but not panicky. "What happened?"

                "Hey, easy there," Minhyuk said in a consoling voice, his hand Lana's crown lovingly. He smiled again, though his heart ached in agony. "I'm sorry I had to give you the shot. You were losing your self-control. Then you passed out and we had to put you back in here."

                Lana's eyes were tearful instantly; flashes of memories came back without any sense of ambiguity. She looked away, remembering the hurtful expression carved on Minhyuk's future bride. Like always, she had ruined everything.

                "I thought I was getting better. You told - promised me, that I was gonna get better and I wouldn't have to come back here!" Lana started kicking underneath her blanket. Her hands wailed midair, boundless, but Minhyuk was quick to regain his composure and grabbed a firm hold at Lana's shaking shoulders.         

                "Calm down, Lana. You're still unstable."

                "No! You lied to me, Minhyuk! You lied to me! You told me yourself I wouldn't come back here again! How could you do this to me?!"

                "I said calm down, please, Lana, you are not completely stable yet. You promised me you would not get angry again!"

                "No! No! Don't touch me! Don't touch me, Minhyuk! Get away from me!" Lana tried to wriggle her body away from Minhyuk but he kept holding on to her; her arms began to hurt from his tight grip, but the physical pain she felt was nothing to what she felt inside her heart.

                "Calm down, Lana, or I will have to call the doctor and ask him to give you the shot again," Minhyuk warned in her ears, making every breath hot to her skin. Lana hugged herself from fear - her two hands cupped at the side of her own face like a little child hiding from a loud explosion. She then shut close her eyes, tears trickling down to her thighs, making a wet blotch on her hospital gown.

                "No..no..not the shot. Please. Please. Don't hurt me," Lana was crying, choking on her own trembling voice before rocking her body back and forth to ease her anxiety. "Tick..tock..tick..tock," she chanted softly from her shaking pale lips, counting time she heard from the clock above head. Minhyuk looked up to the instinctively, feeling glad to have her doctor hang up a clock up there.

                Minhyuk sat back, panting, and wiped his tears as he gave a hard look at his girlfriend, who was mumbling something underneath her short breaths.

                How many times should I tell you I'm not gonna hurt you?          

                JONGIN made a stop exactly by the main entrance to the Futari Apartment, a humble residence where Mina and her family of 5 stayed. He pulled over by the taxi stop and realized he couldn't stall or he might get ticket for misusing the space. Naeun turned to Jongin with expression of gratitude flashed across her face as she quickly unbuckled her seat belt.

                "Are you sure you wanna go in alone?" Jongin asked worryingly.

                "Yeah. You can't possible leave your car here just to send me in. You're gonna get tickets for it."

                "It’s not gonna take forever. l‘ll be quick."

                "Don't trouble yourself. That's my job. Not yours," Naeun said with a slight regret to her colliding brows. "And thanks a lot for everything. I don't know what else I should do if you didn't help me out."

                Jongin nodded weakly, trying to brush off the awkwardness he felt at Naeun's unusual compliment. "How's your toe anyway?"

                "Getting better. Thanks for that too - the band-aid."

                "Yeah. Sure. No problem."

                "So where are you headed next? Office?"

                "Yeah," Jongin shrugged. "I can't exactly skip my work or my professor will come down right away."

                "Oh right! Sometimes I forgot that you're still a college student. Oh by the way I haven't sent your monthly evaluation for March to your department. Can you tell them I'll be sending the papers a bit late because I still need to get my dad's signature? I'll be sending it right away after I've got'em. Is it okay to be a little late though?"

                "It's not a problem, don't worry. And yeah, I will tell my prof that you will be a little late with the papers, as long as you give me the proper credit-"

               "Too bad I can't promise you anything. But I can tell you this - Haneul Temple is very close to our apartment building. So you can be sure to do a lot of praying and prostrating-"

                "Yah Son Naeun-"

                "Oh and I also know that Jungi Church is quite close to our place too, if you're the believer type."

                "Seriously it's not funny. What did you write on the report?"

                "That's a highly confidential information, you idiot. How stupid do you think I am to be telling you that?"              

                Jongin squinted his eyes, feeling mocked and insulted by just lookng at Naeun's happy child-like grin. He grunted, slightly pissed off, and began locking the door of the car on child-lock mode. He smirked beneath his little victorious gesture.

                "Okay then. I guess you will have to see the results yourself once they’re out," Naeun dismissed casually, patting Jongin awkwardly on the shoulder. "Now if you'll excuse me I got a person in need of some sharp temple-grinding to see."

                "Naeun, don't go grindin’ Mina’s temple now. She had no other choice but to tell me about you."

                "Mina? More like betrayer."

                "You're being super dramatic. You should try auditionin' for a movie role.

                "I'll grind yours next. You'd better watch your back," Naeun snapped, and attempted to open the door but the door remained locked. She tried again, and it was still a failure. She turned to Jongin, who put on an impressive poker face, and scoffed in disbelief at this man's childish attitude.

                "Seriously?" She asked, annoyed.

                "What did I do?" Jongin shrugged, faking a serious expression.

                "Seriously drop the act and unlock the door."

                "What did you write on the report?"

                "That you should take a manner class as quickly as you can and fix up your Mr. Know-It-All attitude."

                "Huh, you mean outsmarting your own boss?"

                "Yeah. And not to mention lack of humility too."

                "But has a terribly amazing creative and critical thinking."

                "I'd rather be dead than write such false-"

                Jongin's expression hardened at the mention of the word 'dead' as though Naeun took the meaning of the word lightly that he lost control of his hand and shoved it up to , cupping it aggressively. He was scowling in disgust at Naeun, eyes blazed down on her like a tiger to its prey.                

                "Do not say the word dead like it's nothing, ever again."

                Naeun was enshrouded in the fear upon seeing Jongin's deadly look on his face, and couldn't help but nodded to his command. She was trembling suddenly, unaware of this kind of side to Jongin. She brought her hands to Jongin's own that was shutting, clenching with wondrous might to tell him that he was hurting her.

                Jongin let go quickly, finally regaining his sense and drew back in a calm manner. He looked away, embarrassed, and pressed the button to deactivate child-lock security.             

                "Get out - please," Jongin muttered the word coldly, but he did not stress on each of the word, and it made Naeun wonder if he was feeling apologetic about his drastic attitude just now. She was quiet too, and dismounted the car immediately after giving Jongin a long look. Two seconds after she shut the door Jongin was already picking up his speed, blending in among other drivers.

                WHAT the was that you ed up douchebag?

                Just why did you have to get all bloody emotional about it?

                It was just a joke, a ing stupid joke, and why did you have to be sensitive about it?

                Damn -

                Now she's probably scared to guts of you and you could never make it up for it.

                And things between you and her won't probably be the same anymore, you stupid human you.

                Nice. Just ing nice, you stupid idiot.

                MINA heaved a sigh, a heavy one but she couldn’t help feeling sorry for her good friend. Naeun was quiet and ginger in her seat, looking at the cup in distance. Mina held out her hand and hit the back of Naeun’s head to make sure she not seeing things, and that Naeun was actually sitting there before her own two eyes.

                “WHAT THE-” Naeun’s cup shook in her hand when she was trying to pick it up, but she put it back quickly after burning her fingers. “Yah, what was that for? I even burned my fingers!”

                “That was me worrying sick about you.” Mina was gathering her self-composure as she sat down across Naeun. “Just tell where were you and what have you been up to since you were gone missing? Do you have any idea how worried sick we were about you?  Your dad even went as far as hiring a freaking private investigator just to look for you!”

                “He did what? Gee, now I know where did I get my dramatic trait from. And I thought it was my mom.”

                “Can you please be serious? Seriously, Naeun, where were you?”

                “Home.”

                “Don’t lie. I called your house and you weren’t there. I even had to call Jongin to look for you.”

                “I didn’t say it was my home.”

                Mina was taken back, and the hard look on Naeun’s face was beginning to trouble her. “What are you talking about?”

                “I was with Jongin.”

                “You were?” Mina’s voice fell, but rather than disappointed, she didn’t look too gray about it. “You were with Jongin? That intern guy? Your current assistant? That handsome brooding young man who has a penetrating gaze that could easily burn through your face if you stare at them beautiful cold eyes for too long?”

                “Please stop with the disgusting, untrue, embellished words of yours. I almost vomitted.”

                “You were with him- OH MY GOD!”

                “Oh my God, Mina why on earth are you squealing? Why do you look so excited?”

                “Oh my God-” Mina’s face was red and flushed. She couldn’t sit still in hear seat, and keep stealing glances at awkward Naeun who looked like she just discovered an alien creature.

                “And stop giving me that look, sheesh, Mina!”  Naeun was feeling hot, hated to be teased by Mina so childish like that. “Stop that or I will leave right away.”

                “Yah,” Mina offered a comfort quickly, and held on to Naeun’s hand to make her stay seated to her seat. “So what did you do there?”

                “I ate and slept-”

                “YOU SLEPT WITH HIM?”

                “I DID NOT SAY THAT! STOP ASSUMING THINGS JESUS CHRIST”

                “But you were with him?”

                “And naturally I’d have to sleep with him? After all that happened at my so-called wedding?”

                “So you didn’t sleep with him?” Mina gasped, letting out a sigh unconsciously.

                “IS THAT A SIGH I’M HEARING LEE MINA?”

                “I WAS NOT SIGHING” Mina said defensively. “I was just – I mean, I don’t mind if you two somehow, end up together-”

                “That’s just absurd.”

                “Why? Does he already have a girlfriend?”

                “We are not discussing this, okay,” Naeun rolled her eyes, flustered. “And no, he doesn’t have any girlfriend, except for that one woman I found talking so happily with him and he too looked just as happy, but not that it bothered me or anything.”

                “Shame. You guys would make a cute couple.”

                “The last thing I need right now is a romantic relationship. Or relationship, of any kind. I’ve had enough headache and heartache with Minhyuk. I don’t think I can take another bull in my life.”

                “That’s because Minhyuk isn’t, and never was the right guy for you.”

                “And you’d know who’s the right guy for me?”

                “No, of course I wouldn’t know, you silly,” Mina said lightly. “But you would. You’d feel it in your heart. You’d start hating every adorable thing he does, hating every sensible thing he says, and you’d hate to see him, but you’d hate even more not seeing him at all. You’d like being around him because you’d know he would make your day right, even after  a ty one, and you can never stop thinking of him. I mean, at least that’s how it was for me when I first developed a crush feeling towards my husband. We were always somehow ended up being partnered up in club programs, and next thing you know, you don’t want anyone else taking your man away.”

                Naeun was silent the whole time Mina was talking about love, and she couldn’t help but to see Jongin smiling at her, and his hand when he offered his to help her get up, or when he treated her toe. She liked the way his eyelashes glazed under the light when he smiled at her jokes and the way his back looked when he turned his back on her, opening the lid to strawberry yogurt by the kitchen counter and the way his longs fingers ran on the steering wheel when he made a swift turn. She liked how he told her not to get involved with Minhyuk again, and he liked the way he promised to always pick her up every time she falls down.

                And she felt how soft his lips were against hers-

                “But also remember to not fall for guys so easily as he might just tryin’ to be nice.”

                Glass shattered inside Naeun’s head, every shard pierced through her entire organs, giving her the bright idea that whatever good deeds Jongin did are not to be mistakenly interpreted.  Some things just bear a direct meaning, and maybe, Jongin helping her is one of his ways to be nice to her. She is, after all, his boss.

                “Damn you…” Naeun cursed softly under her breathe, eyes glaring in fury at Mina.

Just when I was about to be swayed, you dragged me down to earth.

                “Mommy…” A soft voice was heard across room from a corner. Naeun and Mina both looked away to the source of the voice. Minhee, Mina’s third child was standing by the door, holding a fluff stuffed kitty in her right hand. She rubbed her eyes and yawned at both adults. Mina smiled, greeting her feverish daughter happily before stood up to take her into her arms.

                “Oh my baby girl is awake now. I’m sorry, was mommy too loud? I’m sorry I wake you up,” Mina showered her daughter lovingly with kisses as she checked Minhee’s body temperature. “She’s ran down with fever,” Mina said, looking at Naeun with a motherly smile. “It’s been two days. But she is getting better today. Isn’t that right, honey pot?”

                Naeun smiled as her gaze fell sadly on the two doting mother-daughter that seemed to be absorbed in their own world now. Naeun looked down, and the image of Sofia crying at her wedding crushed her heart. That was not her parents’ fault, but somehow she couldn’t find the courage to face them.

                “Hey, Mina, can I borrow your phone?”

                IT was only 7.03 PM and Jongin just came out of hot shower. He was just returning from his university to settle his graduation slip and some more official paper regarding his upcoming graduation considering he is now in his last semester of college. Jongin walked up to his wardrobe and his gaze fell on the neat made-up bed of his. Naeun was only using that last night and now she was gone. He wondered how Naeun is doing now?

                His phone that was sitting on the study table rang suddenly.

                “Hello?” Sehun greeted at the end of the phone by the time Jongin answered his call.

                “Dude,” Jongin said, feelng glad to hear such familiar voice after some time.  “What’s up?”

                “Dude, listen, so I was about to go visit Taemin in his usual room, and guess what happened?”

                Jongin’s heart raced in agony the moment Sehun drawled off in his conversation.

                “Dude, don’t scare me.”

                “I’m not gonna scare you. I just have some questions to ask. But first, guess what happened?”

                “O-kay,” Jongin blinked a few times. “But I honestly could not think of anything that might’ve happened-”

              “Some woman just left off the room when I was just signing my name in by the counter. And she’s someone whom I do not remember or know of. Perhaps, the name ‘Hyorin’ rang your bell?”

                “Huh? No. She’s not someone familiar. I don’t think she’s even his high school friend or one of his part-time colleagues.”

                “Weird,” Sehun said slowly. “Today was her first visit though.”

                “Was it?”

                “Yeah. And she was crying too when she left the room. Do you think she might have something to do with the girl Taemin liked in the letters? Or maybe she knew what actualy went on in Taemin’s life that had made him so –suicidal?”

                Jongin fell silent, a huge shock of wave washed all over his soul, each wash sent a spiking chill down his spine. He has not been updated about the letters, nor did he have the time to be reading new one, but to be reminded of the unfinished business Taemin left behind, Jongin felt a heavy burden hammering down his two shoulders.

                “I don’t know, man,” Jongin rubbed his face, his voice trembled. “Maybe.”

***