Chapter 17

In a luxurious apartment downtown, Jessica was waiting for Jaejoong while watching tv. The dinner that she had made was on the table, getting colder as time passed by. Although her eyes were glued to the tv, her mind wandered elsewhere.

The last eight years had changed her tremendously. She couldn’t even recognize herself anymore. When she had moved in with Jaejoong, she had been calculating & cold. She had sworn to repay him for not falling in love with her. She had planned the destruction of his wedding carefully, counting heavily on his compassionate nature. Then when his pride had been injured due to his failed wedding, she would be there to comfort him. To empathize with him. To revere him. To lifted his male pride to god level & later, hurt it to the deepest gorge. He would be too dispirited that he would easily be seduced. She would make him fall helplessly in love with her & when he couldn’t live without her, she would dump him like a week trash. Let him feel the hurt of rejection. The agony of heartbreak. The loveless existence but she had miscalculated. His kindness gradually got to her. His attention, patience & compassion had moved her unbearably, filling the void left by her parents’ divorce & ignorance. She began to feel more like a person, day by day, & for the first time in her life, she understood what others had said about love & if being in love made her vulnerable & needy, she would gladly accept the consequences as long as she had Jaejoong by her side for she couldn’t imagine her life without Jaejoong & she would do absolutely anything to bind Jaejoong securely to her side.

The chimes of the clock on the wall woke her from her thought. She glanced at it & noticed that it was already ten but Jaejoong wasn’t home yet. A sense of trepidation suddenly surged inside of her. Something was wrong; she could feel the threat coming into her peaceful life.

She answered the phone immediately when it rang. It was from Jaejoong.

“Jaejoong Oppa.” She said his name reverently.

“Jessica, I’m staying over at Hyukjae’s tonight. Have you had your dinner yet?”

“Um...not yet, I…”

“Don’t wait up for me & eat plenty; you have to rebuild your stamina. I will be home tomorrow after work. See you then.”

“Oppa, I.” Before she could say anything more, the call was disconnected, “Love you.” Jessica finished her sentence dejectedly. Jaejoong had never stayed out for that long at Hyukjae’s place or any other place in the eight years she had lived with him. Something extraordinary must have happened in his life. Something he couldn’t tell anybody else but Hyukjae. She looked at the phone in her hand with increasing dread. Sighing loudly, she put the phone back on its cradle & went to her room but that night, sleep didn’t come as easily as usual.

Yoona couldn’t decide whether to tell Yuri about Jaejoong or not. She didn’t see the point of freaking Yuri out; moreover, the chance of them bumping into Jaejoong again, was very slim. After all, Jaejoong had no idea where they lived, where they worked & where they usually hang out & she didn’t know how to respond if Jaejoong started asking about Dohyun. She didn’t want to lie to Jaejoong & yet, she wasn’t sure whether Yuri wanted to tell Jaejoong the truth or not, ‘Well, first thing first.’ She thought.

Decided to gauge Yuri’s reaction, Yoona casually asked her, while driving, “Yul, what will you do if you see Jaejoong Oppa like in the mall or something? Will you tell him about Dohyun?”

Yuri looked up from the sleeping Dohyun & looked at Yoona in surprises. In the last eight years, Jaejoong, Hyukjae & the event that had followed were considered taboo. They were never mentioned as if they had never existed in the first place.

She still remembered what had happened eight years ago. How her father’s face contracted with grief & anger when she told him about her pregnancy & decision to keep the baby. Her mother had got so shocked & fainted. After a calming period, her dad had advised her to get out of town for a while, to take a break from the mess of her life. To rebuild her life. To get over the father of her baby. She was very grateful to her dad for supporting her through all those difficult times, the cancelled wedding, the pregnancy & the grueling parenthood & in appreciation for his continuing support, she had promised her father that she wouldn’t let herself fall in love easily ever again, unless the man could prove to her that he was worthy of her love.

At first, she had decided to go to Italy as her father had suggested. She had told Tiffany & Yoona about her plan & her two friends had decided to go with her. Tiffany had also wanted to leave the city, to leave all her memories behind & started anew. Yoona, who had decided to further her study in fashion design, had decided to come with them. So, she had changed her plan. Instead of Italy, she had decided to go to New York because she wanted to be in a somewhat familiar surrounding & yet, as far away as possible from Seoul. A city that also had excellent reputation for fashion which make New York the best choice.

In New York, they achieved what they had wanted in the first place. Tiffany had started to get over Hyukjae & started dating again, after five years. She had left her bitterness behind & looked at the world with more optimistic lenses. Yoona had finished her study & made a name for herself in the fashion industry. As for herself, she had become a very successful businesswoman with a company of her own. She had Dohyun, the joy of her life. She had the support of her friends through the whole ordeal & she had Leeteuk but still she missed Jaejoong. She missed sharing the simple moments with him, watching their son sleeping, the first word he uttered, the first time he took a step, the time when he fell ill & all the wonderful & terrifying moments of parenthood. She missed holding his hand, sharing a laugh & the sizzles they felt when their skin touched & now, Yoona mentioned his name & asking her how she felt.

With a small laugh, she looked back at Dohyun who’s smiling in his sleep, ‘He has Oppa’s smile. The quick grin, the charming smile & the joyous laugh.’ Yuri thought, as she caressed her son’s hair, “Why are you mentioning Jaejoong Oppa all of a sudden? If I see him countless of times in Dohyun.” Yuri put her arms around Dohyun & hugged him tightly.

“It’s only a supposition. What would you do?” Yoona kept her eyes on the road. Her heart pounded in prayer that Yuri would say she was over him completely.

“Okay, a supposition. If I see Oppa again, I would probably smile & ask him how he was doing. Was he happy? I would like to see him happy very much.”

“Will you tell him about Dohyun?”

“No, absolutely not. Unless it was necessary to do so. We have been separated for eight years, Yoon. Although he asked me to meet him in eight months at the beach, it was only his emotion talking. He has a life of his own now & so do I. Dohyun is my son; he doesn’t know about Oppa. I don’t want him to be confused about his father so it had be best if he doesn’t know & then there’s Leeteuk Oppa.” Yuri said calmly.

Yoona nodded her head, satisfied with Yuri’s answer. She felt like a heavy burden had been lifted from her shoulders. She had made the right decision after all but deep inside, she still felt a speck sense of uneasiness, “I’m telling you the truth, pal. I saw Yuri today.” Jaejoong bounced around Hyukjae’s living room, feeling excited to know that Yuri was is the same city with him again. Yet, he also felt restless like something was wrong. Something that was niggling in the back of his mind but he couldn’t remember what it was, “She is very beautiful, much more than the picture I had in my mind. Her face is more refined, her appeal is ier, yet subtle but her laugh remains the same & there I was, gaping like a fool. By the time I could feel my body again, she was gone.”

“Is Fany with her? Did you see her?” Hyukjae asked impatiently.

“No, only Yoona, a little boy called Dohyun & Teuk. Dohyun. Teuk.” Suddenly, his face was drained of color & went as white as wax. His body felt cold all over & his head felt like it had been hacked open. He kneaded his temple & groaned loudly. The niggling something had become an exploding dynamite.

“Hey buddy, what’s wrong? Who’s Dohyun? Yoona’s son? With Teuk?” Hyukjae asked in confusion, upon seeing Jaejoong’s reaction. He’s supposed to be happy that his biggest rival had married Yoona.

Jaejoong snapped from his reverie with a wild glint in his eyes. He grasped Hyukjae’s shoulders & shook him desperately, “Oh my god. This is what has been nagging me all day. I couldn’t believe myself. How could I not remember this fact? I was so devastated today because of this.” Seeing Hyukjae irritated expression, Jaejoong released his shoulders & slumped onto the carpet, “Dohyun is about eight & he called her mommy. He called Yuri mommy. At first, I thought he must be mine but then he called Teuk daddy. Oh my god, they are married & have a son together. My Yuri & Teuk are married. I’m finished. It’s over.” Jaejoong felt like his head was going to blow up soon with the sudden awareness. His mind had blocked the fact that Yuri was a mother. Not until he mentioned her son’s name that the reality intruded & popped his bubbles.

Hyukjae opened his mouth to ask the questions that flowed into his mind. Upon seeing Jaejoong’s face, he closed his mouth & sighed, understanding the feeling Jaejoong’s going through but part of his mind was still stuck with Tiffany. Where she is? What she was doing now? Has she forgiven him? Will she ever come back to him? Suddenly, a memory of not so long ago flashed into his mind of Tiffany with a guy, walking around. Tiffany in an arm of another guy. He thought he was hallucinating but now it’s clear that he’s not. Tiffany was really back in the city & she had gone out with a guy. He felt his knee giving out & he sprawled out on the carpet next to Jaejoong.

The sky outside turned dark, signaling night has arrived. The stars sprinkled the night sky like jewels on black velvet but the two guys inside the apartment didn’t notice anything. Their minds were as black as the sky outside but without a single star to chase the darkness away.