Chapter 12

The rain was pouring heavily outside. The sunny day had suddenly turned gloomy. In his house, Mr. Kwon prowled around the living room, trying to alleviate his anger & at the same time, worrying about Yuri’s state of mind. Mrs. Kwon sat on the couch with eyes swimming with tears. Never in a million years had they imagined such a thing could befall their only daughter. Mr & Mrs. Kim were still at the church, apologizing & making excuses to the guests, trying to live down the disaster. Leeteuk, Hyukjae, Tiffany & Yoona were in Tiffany’s apartment, all wondering what happened to Jaejoong & Yuri next door. Leeteuk, Yoona & Tiffany had driven Yuri to her apartment to escape from the pitying gaze & questioning looks. In another car, Hyukjae had taken Jaejoong to the same direction as he didn’t trust Jaejoong to drive in his condition. As soon as they arrived at the apartment complex, Jaejoong had leaped from the white Audi & took off running after Yuri. They had gone straight to Yuri’s apartment while their friends waited restlessly in Tiffany’s apartment next door. Meanwhile, in a bar downtown, Jessica ordered the best champagne in the house & toast herself, “For a job well done.” She said maliciously, & started plotting her next step.

Her eyes felt fiercely hot & yet, the tears wouldn’t come to cool them down. Yuri rubbed her eyes, trying to ease the discomfort but nothing could lessen the dull pain that spread rapidly into her body. Suddenly, she felt his presence in her living room & then she heard the sound of her door being closed softly. She glanced at Jaejoong’s rigid back & steeled herself for the worst thing but she still had to swallow the lump at the base of first before she trusted herself to speak.

“Why are you here? I don’t want to see you. Not now, not ever again. Get out.” Yuri was amazed that her voice could be that strong & steady when she had used all of her strength not to crumble to pieces.

Her voice brought Jaejoong back to reality. He looked at Yuri. Her eyes were still dry but they were like two easily broken marbles. Hard, brittle & cold. In all the time he had known her, he had never seen her eyes this cold. They were always lively, laughing & warm. He had to suppress the shiver that started to run through his spine. Silently, he wished she would cry so that her eyes would soften & thaw a little but it seemed like that day wasn’t his lucky day. Not even a hint of tear could be seen in her eyes, “Princess.” Jaejoong took a step towards her & reached out for her hands.

“No. Never call me that again. Now, get out.” She evaded him & opened the door. Seeing Jaejoong not moving, she marched to him & pushed him out of the door. The slamming of the door woke Jaejoong up from his trance. He knocked on the door & shouted at her to open it.

In the apartment next door, four adults stuck their ears to the door, trying to find out what was happening outside. Leeteuk, getting more restless & worried by the minute, decided to go next door to help Yuri but before he could take a step, Yoona pulled his arm & shook her head, “Give them some time. You could make things worsts.” Realizing the sense in Yoona’s words, he nodded & got back to his position on the door.

“Yul, please open the door? I could explain.” Jaejoong was getting more desperate.

“Go away. Leave me alone.” Yuri leaned back on the door & closed her eyes. She wished her tears could come to lighten her heart & yet, she also wished her eyes to remain dry because she didn’t want to shed a tear for the playboy bastard!

Suddenly, the beating on her door ceased & only silence could be heard outside. Yuri slid down on the door & sat there, hugging her knee. All she could think at the moment was that everything’s over. Jaejoong wasn’t part of her life anymore.

Meanwhile, the four grown-ups next door looked at each other in uncertainty. The silence was so deafening outside. Hyukjae opened the door a little bit to peek & saw the corridor outside was deserted, “Moron! How could he give up so easily?! He’s supposed to break down her door & make her listen to his explanation, not leave when she asked him to leave! Unbelievable!” Hyukjae grumbled. The other three sighed & went to wait in the living room, counting the time when Yuri would be able to contain her sadness & be ready to talk to them.

“Yuri.” Jaejoong softly called her, & crouched down in front of her. Startled, Yuri looked up & saw it wasn’t a hallucination. Jaejoong was really there in front of her. She looked at the door behind her with confusion.

“A closed door can’t stop me if I want to see you. I got in from the window. Never thought climbing the fire escape would be so hard. I must be getting old.” Jaejoong tried to grin but it felt more like a grimace. So, he tossed the effort out & said more seriously, “Yul, listen to me first. After the explanation, if you decided to push me out of your life, I would accept your decision.”

She went silent for a long minute. A drop of water emerged from the corner of her eyes. She wiped away before it could trickle down her cheek, “Okay, could you tell me what happened?” She asked hoarsely.

Jaejoong took in a deep breath & hoped that Yuri’s compassionate nature would lead her back to his side but there’s also a chance that Yuri would feel pity for Jessica & leave him. He swallowed his dread & guilt & prepared himself for her wrath. Or worse, disappointment.

“My ex-girlfriend, Jessica Jung, came to my office yesterday afternoon. We haven’t seen each other in a year. She told me that she was pregnant when we broke up. After trying to find me without any success, the stress got to her & she had a miscarriage. The doctor had to perform a surgery on her & she’s sterile now. She wanted us to get back together but I refused. So, she asked me to call off the wedding until she could get back on her feet with my help. The thing is, she has a heart condition. Whenever she felt too much anxiety, her heart would stop beating. So, the doctor advised her to lead a quiet life.”

Yuri searched Jaejoong’s face for any lies, “You are not making this up, are you? You are not cheating on me, are you?”

Seeing Jaejoong’s expression, she nodded in acceptance, ‘No, Jaejoong Oppa isn’t cheating on me but his past caught up with us & torn us to pieces.’ She thought painfully. She felt like running away to escape the pain but she knew better. The pain would always be there to taunt her so it had be better to face it & kick it aside. She drew in a precious breath & carried on.

“So, why did you go through with the wedding when you have already promised her to call it off?”

“It was a misunderstanding. I promised her that I would help her ease her pain but she thought I promised her I would call off our wedding. There’s no way I would promise that to anyone. I love you, Yuri. You have got to believe me. I.”

Yuri held her hand up to stop Jaejoong’s words. She knew herself. There’s no way she could live with herself if her happiness brought misery to others. She braced herself & said, “I believe you, Oppa. Truly, I do but I also know you had feel guilty for the rest of your life if you didn’t try to help her. After all, it was your child that she was carrying & my conscience would scream at me all the time for causing grief to others. We both know that she would never feel better if she keep seeing us together.” Yuri’s lower lips quivered but she bit on it hard. A fast break was a clean break after all & she forced herself to say the rest, “I think it had be best if we call off the wedding. She’s so frail right now but I’m made from stronger stuff. You don’t have to worry about me having any heart attack or depression. Our memories would have to suffice me.”

Jaejoong closed his eyes, feeling as if he was going to lose the best part of his life. He was unaware that a drop of tear made a thin line on his cheek. Seeing the tear, Yuri felt her heart clenched & twist. She had never imagined it would upset her so to see Jaejoong’s helpless tear. She resignedly gave up her idea of a clean break. This break was certainly going to be a messy one. She laid her soft hands on his cheek & wiped it away. Jaejoong opened his eyes & suddenly noticed the fat drops of tears running down Yuri’s face; he caressed her cheeks & kissed them away, “I’m very sorry, Yuri. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Please tell me what I should do to make it up to you? I don’t want to lose you. Tell me what I should do to keep you in my life?” Yuri smiled bitterly & shook her head, unable to say anything to make both of them feel better. Accepting her decision with a heart feeling like boulder, he gulped his tears, gathered his strength & asked very softly, “Will you wait for me?”

She softened her answer with a smile, “Oppa, just leave the future to fate. Right now, Jessica needs you to help her. I’m going to be okay. I will have to be okay. Let’s not make any promises for now.” She unclasped her necklace & gave the necklace & engagement ring back to Jaejoong with a twinge in her heart, “I can’t keep them any longer.”

Jaejoong placed the necklace & ring back in Yuri’s hand, “Keep them, Yul. Just treat them as a present from a guy who loves you all the way to his soul.” Yuri swallowed her tears as she clutched the jewelries in her hand & intended to bid Jaejoong goodbye. Before she could say anything, Jaejoong pulled her & they embraced each other tightly, not willing to let the other slipped away. Somehow, their lips met. Somehow, their desperation set off the fire in their blood & then things went further than they had intended while the sky outside wept as if sympathizing with their despair.