-- Geum Min

It’s been a week since I last wrote here, but not much has happened in that time. It’s basically just been about the same as it usually is, with crazy things going on in my family, Min Woo being sweet as ever, and school being as annoying as well. Jeong Min and Yoo Min had their second and third dates, and she’s really enjoying having a boyfriend. Kwang Min’s been eyeing Min Woo, though. He tells me that he’s going to have to talk to him. I heard him muttering about not wanting to lose both his sisters, or something along those lines.

Music bursts out through the nearest speaker as my twin and I stand in the crowded room. I direct my gaze at the television screen on the wall opposite me, and watch as my brothers and their band start moving to the music. They’re making their comeback now, with Don’t Touch My Girl. In my opinion, it’s a pretty good song, but there’s no way I’m telling them that. Rule number one of being their sister: never blow up their heads with compliments.

A few people I recognize (other than Yoo Min) are also in the room, anxiously watching the screen, hoping against hope that the boys don’t make any mistake. I’ve seen them before at Boyfriend’s trainings. They’re nice people, and they let Yoo Min and I sit in on our brothers’ training sessions when we’re done with our own training. Basically, they’re Boyfriend’s trainers.

Apart from them, the room is full of a few lucky fans, who are busy squealing away as they watch their idols performing on stage. It’s kind of a weird feeling for me – to know that those charismatic boys rocking the stage (and the hearts of so many girls worldwide), are actually the freaky, awkward dwirbs I’ve grown up with. It totally ruins their image for me. So I actually can’t understand why some people get so fascinated with them. I guess maybe fame can mess with a person’s head. Or maybe it’s just their image.

The fans aren’t the only people in the room, however. There are other bands whom are set to perform after Boyfriend waiting around, some getting their make-up or hair done, and some practicing lines and preparing to get on stage. Idols’ families aren’t in here, though. They’re given special seats in the audience. Yoo Min and I, being part of Starship as trainees as well as being related to Youngkwang, are the only ones allowed in this room, and everywhere else, basically. 

I return my attention to the screen just as the first notes of the chorus start playing. As far as I can see, they carry it off without a hitch, which makes the tension between the three trainers standing beside me and Yoo Min dissipate, ever so slightly. Their eyes, I’m sure, are on my brothers, since they’re the ones who are most prone to making a mistake. I mean, they are the ones who are naturally the worst dancers. They practice super hard to get as good as they are.

The song fades away, finally, and I see them exit the stage amidst loud applause from the floor. It’s quite amazing that they’ve become as popular as they are already – I mean, it is their first comeback, after all. Yet they’ve got so many avid fans. When I debut, I can only hope to be as popular as them. I’m a girl, and frankly, girl groups aren’t half as popular as boy bands, which is a very demoralizing thing, to be honest.

Yoo Min and I leave the room to go find our brothers and congratulate them on their successful comeback stage. We turn a few corners and come to the area just backstage, where the boys are greeting some fans. I spot Kwang Min nearby, and walk over to him to wave, but his eyes slide over me like I’m not there. I know he saw me, though, but he just ignored me! Slightly confused, I try to move in front of him, but I’m surprised when he treats me like some ordinary fan, albeit glaring at me a little. He just greets me formally and nods, before walking past me.

Quite angry, I impatiently turn around and tap his shoulder. “What happened to my brother? I want the Jo Kwang Min I know, back.”

I see his face fall before I turn around and stalk into the fray to find Young Min. It just pissed me off that he decided to ignore me like that. I know he probably just wants to save his idol image in some way, but I’m his sister. He doesn’t have the right to treat me like that. At all.

I’m still blowing off steam from that incident on the way home. But apart from the anger, there is a tinge of hurt and sadness as well. I mean, he’s my brother. Does his image really mean so much more to him than I do?

It really hurts to think about it. I mean, this is the brother who's always there for me, always lending me his shoulder to cry on and talking me through tough times. Whenever I feel down and go to the playground, he'll follow me to make sure I'm alright. Young Min is amazing in his own way, but I know that he's proud and if he were to do something like this I'd be more understanding. But with Kwang Min it's different - he's not as proud as Young Min is, and to think that he's starting to value his image more than his family makes me more than a little angry. Frowning, I look out the window from my seat on the bus, trying to think about lighter things.

Yoo Min and Young Min are more talkative, and they’re discussing the performance. He’s giving a blow-by-blow account of what it felt like, and my twin is busy teasing him about it. The playful banter goes on, but I don’t feel in the mood to join in. Kwang Min, on Yoo Min’s other side, is also silent as we head home. It’s not often that I get angry like that, and I think he’s guilty that he made me upset. Well, he should be.

The car stops outside the house, and it’s still quite early – only nine in the evening. Huffing and watching my breath make mist in the air, I tell my sister that I’m going to the playground and start walking in the opposite direction as them. It’s chilly out, and I’m glad I’m wearing a hoodie. Hoodies are actually my favourite thing to wear, because they just happen to be the most comfortable. Also the most convenient to wear, actually.

I don’t notice the distance go by, and before I know it, I’m at the playground. As usual for this time of night, there’s nobody around. Even the stragglers have left. I settle myself down on the cool plastic of a slide and stretch as I admire the stars. There’s a soft breeze floating around, making me feel colder. I tug the sleeves of my hoodie down a little, so that they cover more of my hands.

The sky is a little cloudy, so the moonlight that flickers down is a little dimmer than usual. I think it might rain later. That’s good, though, since I adore the rain. The moon itself is a little short of fully round, a gibbous moon. It’s actually pretty, although I still don’t understand why people used to think it looks like cheese. Neither can I find that rabbit that’s supposed to live there. It’s interesting, what people used to think in the olden times. Humans as a race have changed so much, it’s pretty stunning. That thought leads on and on, and I know that if I don’t stop myself, I’ll have myself wondering why humans can talk and think so much clearer than animals, and how we managed to construct so much. Before long, I’ll be imagining the world run by monkeys or tigers or even fish, and then I’ll wear my own brain out.

No, better to let my thoughts end here.

“Geummie?” a soft voice calls out, and I twist my head to see my dark-haired brother walking towards my slide.

“Yes?” I answer, because I don’t know what else to say.

Kwang Min seats himself awkwardly beside me, resting his feet on the end of the slide. “I’m sorry for ignoring you earlier.”

I frown. “Why did you do that?”

“I…” he trails off, and I can see him cast his eyes down with guilt. “Mianhaeyo, Geummie-ah.”

I remain silent for a while, not sure what I’m supposed to say. I feel like there’s something that needs to be said, sure, but I have this gut instinct that it should be Kwang Min who says it.

He clears his throat and then looks me in the eyes. Sincerely, he assures me, “I won’t let my image get to my head again, and I’m sorry for treating you that way.”

I smile at him then. “It’s okay, I forgive you. As long as you’re sure it won’t happen again!”

Kwang Min grins, and the tension vanishes. He stretches over and gives me a brief hug. I hug him back, and then we both lean back to watch the stars together again. A random conversation starts, and we find ourselves laughing over the most hilarious things.

At a lull in the conversation, I decide to ask him about his feelings. “Do you like Skye?”

He jumps, and I know that’s answer enough. I have to struggle to hold in my grin. Kwang Min coughs softly – but I still hear it – and tilts his head.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” I clarify, “Do you like her?”

“Like her, as in, approve of her for being your friend? Yes, I do like her,” he says, looking at the tree on his right.

I tut and poke his shoulder impatiently. “You know exactly what I mean. I see you keep staring at her when she’s around.”

He looks alarmed. “I-I-I do not!”

“Look at me and tell me that you don’t like her in that way with a straight face,” I dare.

Kwang Min sits up immediately and schools his expression into a serious one. Then he turns to me and states, “I do not like Skye.”

But his voice shakes on her name. I burst out laughing, and he hides his face in a sleeve.

“You do like her!” I exclaim, still giggling at his expense.

“Don’t tell that to the whole world!” he hisses, clapping a hand over my mouth.

I push him off and keep grinning, enjoying his discomfort. “Is that why you let her win that round of Nerf?”

He eyes me, biting his lip. Then he nods, almost imperceptibly. But I find their relationship adorable. Kwang Min obviously likes her a lot. Judging by the way she suddenly morphs into a shy, quiet girl when he’s around, she likes him too. I think they’d make a very cute couple. But this is perfect to tease and torture them both with, although I’m definitely going to try and get them together.

“Do you think she likes me?” he asks, his voice shaking slightly.

I laugh. “I know who’s going to get married first now!” I announce, teasing him by purposely giving him a cryptic answer to his question.

“Yah,” he rebukes. “You could be talking about Jeong Min-hyung and Sung Jin-noona, for all I know!”

I roll my eyes. “It’s obvious I’m talking about you and Skye, you Pabo!”

“So she really does like me?”

“Not telling!”

“Yah!” he protests, grabbing my arms and shaking me. “Tell me!”

I stick my tongue out at him. “If you weren’t so dumb you would have figured it out by now! I’m not telling you!”

My brother sighs and covers half of his face with his hand. I grin, and stand up. It’s getting late by now, and I feel like going back home. Sticking a hand out to him, I offer to pull him up. He grabs my hand but stands up by himself, and then he turns and bends down, motioning for me to climb on his back.

Happily, I clamber up so that he can piggyback me home. A yawn attacks me, which spreads to him, as we walk home. It’s too early to sleep, but I’m already feeling sleepy… and Kwang Min’s back is so comfortable to sleep on…

The next day, I’m back at my favourite place, the place with heaps of memories. And I have a feeling that another happy memory is going to be made today. It rained just now, a few minutes before I came here, and there’s a rainbow stretching across the sky in the distance. I’ve been fascinated with rainbows ever since I was young, because it seems like magic to me. But as I grew older I slowly learnt that it’s the trick of the light. It’s just an illusion, really, but I still find myself fascinated by rainbows.

The air is cool from the rain, and I had to wear a hoodie to come out here or I’d freeze. There are puddles everywhere, though, and I had to watch out not to get my new sneakers wet. Plus, I needed to wipe the seat of the swing dry before I could sit on it. Just yesterday, I’d done the same thing with Kwang Min – sitting on the swing and enjoying the cool weather.

This time, rather, Min Woo is sitting on the other swing with me, and we’re just talking, like usual. He asked me to meet him here. I’m excited to know what his surprise is – the one he told me about before his comeback. Well, I’ve waited long enough, and he’s made his comeback, so I’m impatient to find out what the surprise is.

He knows how impatient I am for it, and I swear he’s ignoring my prodding about it on purpose. When I came right out with it and just bluntly asked him for it, he looked the other way and started swinging, telling me he’ll only give it to me if I manage to swing higher than him.

Oh well, I’m lighter, so this should be easy. Determined, I push the swing as far back as I can, kick off hard, and stretch my legs out as I move forward. Min Woo’s already in full swing, and he’s getting higher as I pick up speed. I bite my lip lightly as I hurriedly swing my legs back and forth – still in rhythm with my swinging – and slowly pick up the speed with each swing.

It’s not long before I’m going high, so high that my body is threatening to leave the swing at each peak. My keeps jumping off for a split second, since my weight is still going forward, ahead of the swing. For a brief instant, I’m flying; my body suspended in air, before my firm grip on the chains and the movement of my legs forces me back onto the seat. I don’t think I’ll be able to go any higher. I turn a little and see that Min Woo’s laughing as he slows down – I’ve gotten higher than him.

Grinning, I relax and just let the swing slow down, and pretty soon I’ve slowed to a stop. Min Woo stands up, and as soon as I set my feet down on the firm ground, he tugs me lightly off the swing. I get to my feet, but the vertigo of the swinging makes me dizzy and I overbalance and fall on him. He catches me neatly, though, and surprised, I look up.

His face is too close.

Startled, we both jerk back, and I fan my hair over my face, in case it turns red. His face was just… so close! I think any nearer and our lips might have touched… It was an almost-kiss. I turn around slightly and stare at him – he is definitely blushing. His whole face has turned red and it looks funny, actually.

My heart is still pumping rapidly, though. Any faster and it’s going to thump out of my chest. That was… so shocking.

“What just happened?” he asks stupidly, turning red and staring at me with a little panicked expression.

I shrug. “I tripped.”

He nods, and gulps, before reaching into his pocket and lifting out a small little pouch. “Anyway, here’s your surprise…” he says, trailing off.

He’s still awkward, but that’s understandable – it was quite a big shock, to be honest. And our faces were really close… we almost kissed! I’m not sure if I should cry or squeal.

“Is that my surprise?” I settle for saying instead, jumping up and down and eyeing it curiously.

Min Woo nods, and holds it out to me. “I have a matching one.”

“Matching?” I ask, burning to see it now.

I all but snatch it out of his hands and open it – or try to. The thing is tied weirdly, and I end up almost tangling it. Min Woo gently takes it out of my hand, unties it with ease, and puts it back so that I can see what’s inside.

With a gasp, I pull the small metal band out of the red pouch. “Min Woo!”

I spare an instant to look up and I see his wide smile. “It’s a couple ring! We’ll stay friends forever, right?”

The ring is perfect – just a simple band, but it’s so elegant anyway. And somehow, it fits perfectly on my ring finger. This is so beautiful… wait, he said friends? Raising an eyebrow, I stare at him again. There’s something weird in the pit of my stomach – like an uneasy feeling, but I can’t decipher it. Shrugging it off, I smile and nod.

“It’s so pretty! Thank you!” I say earnestly, and he gives me an even bigger smile.