You MAY skip the first part... the one in italic.

I LIED. I CANNOT write . I tried but it just... won't go beyond.

I have no idea why I can't write it, when I've read a lot of it

Maybe coz I lack experience.

I'm sorry for disappointing you~

I felt his body tense up against mine. 

My hands just clutched his soft beautiful raven hair.

With my pulse raising and my heart pounding, I have no control over what happens.

He's got me completely hypnotized with his touch.

We separated for a while and looked deep into each others eyes.

I could see that he wanted me, his eyes gleamed with lust. I'm pretty sure his reflected mine.

He grabbed me and lead me to the bedroom.

He sat down and I stood before him. What are we doing?

Then he pulled me towards him.

He looked up at me and spoke, "We can stop right here or we can keep  going."

I don't know what came over me when I just grabbed his head and started fiercely kissing him.

I felt him smile against my lips before pulling me down on the bed.

He hovered over me and continued to explore my mouth.

My hands lingered on his body and soon found the end of his shirt. I began to pull it up slowly.

His muscles reacted to my touch and I couldn't help but giggle slightly.

He released my lips and took his shirt off...

////////

Sunlight shining through the blinds disturbed my slumber.

I shifted a little but felt a pressure over me.

Jae's arm was resting on me and his face was buried in the pillow. His share of the blanket was down to his waist. Showing off his y back.

I ran a hand through my hair in  frustration. 

Why am I so stupid and fickle minded?

-

As he took my clothes off, I felt a nag at the back of my head.

If we do this... something will eventually turn wrong and I'll just be one of Jaejoong's s.

People will know we're ing and I'll turn out a .

His lips were working on my neck and my body was responding positively but my brain just kept pestering me.

He went back on my lips but stopped when he felt that I was no longer doing the same.

I closed my eyes in fury of myself.

"Something wrong? I'll stop, just tell me." he whispered.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, "I'm sorry Jae. I'm sorry."

"It's okay Kyoung Mi-ya." he shushed.

-

"Na eottoke?" I sighed.

Last week I was dead set on letting him go. But I didn't expect him to act the way he did. I fell in love with him all over again.

It's so hard to be a celebrity's girlfriend.

You don't just fall in love, date and get married. You need to think the whole relationship out.

From the secrecy, to the barely-meeting season, and the image and off course the LAST step, the revelation.

What do I really want to happen?

Why did I want to finish off what made me happy? 

Maybe I'm just selfish. 

That's when it hit me.

I jumped off of bed, waking Jaejoong in the process, ran out of the bedroom and grabbed my phone from the kitchen counter.

"Hello?" answered the person on the other line.

"I know what to do." I said with a grin.

I guess that's it for that chapter.

I'm sorry for raising expectations for a scene but I just couldn't.

m(_ _)m my humblest apologies, dear readers.

I am so very sorry about that.