2:15am blinked the lights of my alarmclock.

I haven't slept much due to the constant thinking I've been doing for the past days.

It's not that I have done anything illegal, but it's because I'm not sure about anything anymore.

I felt my companion move.

Even if Jaejoong and I have never been too physically intimate, he's always insisted on sleeping beside me ever since his first stay over.

My eyes fell on his angelic face. He's regarded as pretty, beautiful, popular but after the JYJ-TVXQ case, he has lost not only that certain shine in him but also a lot of fans. I don't want him to go through that again.

I've done my research and a growing amount of JYJ fans have been suspecting us already. We've been caught on set and at the cafe. Sure, there were supporters but the people against us wins by a landslide.

I pulled my knees to my chest and hugged my legs. What am I supposed to do?

I looked back at Jaejoong. He's been through much already, I don't want to add to that. Hurting him now, would be better than getting him bashed and left behind later on. A break-up with an almost-one-year girlfriend would be less harsh than getting empty seats at a concert, right? 

My hand drifted to his hair. Jaejoong, eottoke?

His eyes slowly opened and I couldn't help but smile.

"Jagiya~ can't sleep?" he murmured.

I just smiled and nodded at him. 

He opened his arms and gestured for me to come closer.

I did as he told me. He wrapped his arms around me and dug his nose in my hair.

"This is why I like to sleep beside you. I can hold you as much as I want and nobody cares" he whispered.

I felt my chest constrict. I love Jaejoong more than anything, but I don't want him to get hurt.

He began to hum a familiar melody softly. My eyes began to sting. His song got softer and softer, I knew he was falling asleep. My tears began to run.

Why is it so difficult to love you, Kim Jaejoong?

//////////////////////////////

"Hi!" I greeted Ju Eun brightly.

"Oh, you're in a good mood. going great?" she replied.

My eyes widened at her completely private question.

"That great huh?" she chuckled.

"What are you talking about?!" I replied.

Just then we heard someone behind us clear his throat. I looked back and saw Jae.

"Ah, Jaejoong-sshi. What are you doing here?" asked Ju Eun.

I gave a warning stare at Jaejoong, who immediately caught it.

"I left something in the room, I was just going to get it" he replied.

Ju Eun nodded and took her bag, "I'll see you tomorrow Kyoung-Mi, and it's nice to meet you Jaejoong-sshi"

"Bye!" I waved as she left.

"You're in a terribly happy mood~" Jae teased as he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my forehead.

"Am i not allowed?" I retorted, letting my hands go around his neck.

He kissed the tip of my nose then said, "what if someone sees?" he grinned.

"I dunno~" I smiled and left a soft quick kiss on his lips.

He smiled as he returned the kiss, "perfect~"

Sweet soft kisses turned hot and passionate, His hands were wandering my body as my fingers curled in his hair.

What we were doing was risky, but it didn't matter to me coz I won't be hiding anything anymore after this.

I heard the doorknob creak and we both quickly jumped away from each other. His hair was a mess and my shirt was sort of lifted.

A staff member came in and I busied myself with my bag, while Jaejoong pretended to look for something.

A few seconds passed, then minutes, and we were definite the the man is not getting out of the room any time soon. He has been sitting there fixing his camera for a long time already. So, I stepped out of the room and headed to the ladies room.

I sat inside a cubicle trying to calm my heart from that intense make-out with Jae. 

I heard women enter the room and they were... gossiping?

"Yeah, he does look great with Wang Ji Hye, doesn't he? But I heard he's dating a staff member."

"Who?"

"Kim Jaejoong!"

"No, I meant, who is he dating?" 

"The writer from his last drama."

"That girl? How... uhh un-jaejoong like. I mean. I'm prettier than her!"

"She's so... dreary. Childish at times too! How was she ever able to seduce the Kim Jaejoong?" 

"Maybe she's making him drink a love potion or something! She does look like a witch hahahah"

"Probably!"

A few more hurtful words were mentioned by these familiar women and I waited till they left.

The moment I got out of the ladies' room. Jaejoong greeted me.

My heart dropped. Because of him, I'm a laughing stock as an employee. Because of him, I'm being named and not in a good way. Because of him... I... I... I'm confused.

"Jagiya~ why don't we go home and continue-" he wriggled his eyebrow.

I pushed him lightly, "go away."

"What's wrong with you? A while ago you were all frisky and flirty, now you're being..."

"Being what?! Tell me!" I purposely raised my voice.

"Yah! Why are you yelling at me?" he was getting rather impatient.

"Tell me? What am I being? huh?!"

"Don't yell at me. You're being hormonal... y. Are you having your period?"

"Shut up! I'm not being- did you just call me y?!"

"You kinda are being one... right now."

"That' it." I pushed him and gathered all my strength to speak, "Kim Jaejoong. We're over."

"What?! How can you-"

"Aish I can't believe you!" I pushed him again and started to walk away. Pretending to be angry at him was more difficult that I had imagined. There was some force pulling me to go back to him right that moment.

My tears were beginning to fall. I stopped in my tracks. Just then I fel a pair of strong arms wrap around me.

"What are you doing?" he whispered.

I tried to wriggle out of his hold but I just ended up crying in defeat.

"How can you say that to me? You've been acting strange lately. Tell me what's wrong." he hushed into my hair.

I shook my head and tried to get out of his hug, again failing to do so.

"My guilt was eating me, Jae. I've been using you to...to... gain popularity as a writer!" I sniffed.

"No you weren't. Nobody but us, knows we're officially dating. Everyone else thinks it's just a rumor."

"Will you believe me for once! I don't... I... I want us to be over! I'm breaking up with you!" I coldly stated.

His arms slowly peeled away from me. "If that makes you happy, then so be it. Go. Leave." he nonchalantly spoke.

My tears completely ran and I continued to walk. I couldn't see anymore, my tears were blocking my view.

As I reached for the door for the dressing room. I turned my back on it and found myself face to face with Jaejoong.

"YAH! WHY'D YOU FOLLOW ME!" I hit his chest.

He wrapped his arms around me, "I said I'll agree to breaking up IF it makes you happy. Seeing you cry like this. How can I let you go?"

I struggled to push him away again but I just couldn't. To be honest, I don't want to leave him at all but I don't want him to get hurt.

"You know... I heard 2 ladies talking bad about you a while ago." he slowly spoke, my hair, "and I think... you should get ready for a scolding from Ju Eun."

I looked up at him and he smiled.

drama.drama.drama

It started fluffy now she's crying.

I shall make happy! xDDD (grammar error intended)

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