Chapter5

Pigged out!

Eat. Even if you're on a diet, who cares? Just for a time, eat anything and everything you want.

  I giggled lightly and tried to cover my mouth but the more I do, the more I want to burst in cackle. Jinki still eats in mess! I pointed my cheek with my index finger, signaling him that there was some crumbs on his face.   “Where?”   I pointed again, yet he was pointing on the other side as if he was playing games with me. I give up. I lean forward on the table and reached his face with a tissue on my hand. I gently rubbed the tissue on the fringe of his mouth and I could feel my face flushing from the steady gaze I received from him.   “Here On—” I hasty stopped and shut my mouth. I pressed my lips and bit my tongue. But I did not show him how I am losing my pretenses. I slowly went back to my seat and looked around as I felt the atmosphere is no good. “—I meant Jinki.”   Jinki never showed me the forlorn side of him, but he did, only once. So with this awkward situation of me almost calling him, ‘Onew’, he took away the stroppy air and smiled. On the other hand, I picked up a slice of pizza and ate them.   And yes, Jinki’s smile always made my day, regardless how bad hair day it is.   This time, it was his turn to laugh at me and it made me embarrassed that I wanted to run at the restroom to check myself. But a tight grip on my wrist had stopped me. Jinki stood up and sat beside me.   I gulped.   He took the pizza away from my hold, gripped my shoulder, and made me face him.   I could feel my chest thumping really fast. “Okay. I’m sorry if I was laughing at you. I’m sorry if you think I’m having fun—” Then I realized he was wiping my mouth with a tissue paper. I was staring at his eyes, and I have never realized that he’s cute. “—what?”   “You haven’t changed.” Jinki spoke under his breath like it’s a really bad thing.   I should be the one saying that Jinki, you still haven’t changed.   “Yes. Of course, it’s still me, Kwon Nam Gyu.”   “You still eat pizzas the same way you do now, you could still be the same old clumsy girl…” And I don’t want to elaborate more of what he says, coz the more we both talk about the past, the more I get emotional. With the term past, I meant everything connected with The Ex and Jonghyun.   The pain would not stop if we continue to talk about the ancient history, we shouldn’t hold back on our fears and regrets. Our eyes were placed in front and its purpose is for us to realize and to look forward, never backward.   Please don’t critique my heart and my confused emotions, I know I’m being hypocrite about myself and I know I’m trying to move on yet I’m still engulfing memory lane. Time will heal every pain and time can only tell.   After all, pain is a universal emotion.   “There, you’re good as new.” He said sniggering. I feel like I’m a robot being reformatted by my inventor.  I spat his hand lightly and fake a frown, and he's still laughing.   “Thank you.” Was the only thing that escaped from my mouth.   -   “I’ll see you around Jinki.” I bow at him and spun around opposite to his direction. But he caught of my waist, and we stare at each other. Boy, what a view. His stare could pierce right through me; on the other hand, I thought I would get hypnotize by him. And. I. DO. NOT. LIKE. IT.  If Jinki continues this, I… I—   “Let’s not part ways.” He said and my eyes open wide. I looked at him unearthly, of course hearing it from him sound… weird? It was like he’s speaking the same way people from the 15th century do. But the realization came in late, Jinki always talk like that. I shouldn’t be surprise anymore.   “What do you want?”   “You” He said in a low tone, however when he said that, it was like a statement, not a question and I got taken aback.   “I want to go home and eat.”   He chuckled dauntingly. “Are you really going to pigged out?”   “What do you expect me to do? I don’t have anything going