Chapter 31

Plant flowers. If you don’t have anywhere to plant them outdoors, plant them in a pot indoors instead.     Beginning.     “Yah! Kim Jonghyun!”   Ha Sul Jung yells with all her might. I fiddle with my bag straps, pulling it down as I feel quite uneasy. We’re standing in front of SME’s back door and perhaps the people who are staring at us quizzically, are Jonghyun’s fellow trainees.   I pull Sul Jung’s elbow and talk in a minimal tone, “Yah, Sul Jung-ah… Don’t you think we should call Jonghyun first?”    “I called him a couple of time but he’s not answering.” She hissed. I back away slowly and sulk at her side.    Sigh. If Jonghyun won’t be here in ten minutes, I’m pretty sure Sul Jung would act mad, add to the fact that today’s her birthday. Jonghyun promised that we’re going to eat ice cream and cake together (since he got really busy with his training), that’s why I couldn’t blame Sul Jung for expecting this much.   I look upward and saw two guys exiting through the door. One of them, I guess a year older than Jonghyun, looks at our direction. Despite of his chinky eyes, I’m positive he’s gazing directly at me. I feel abash and look down.  When I look at him again, he’s still staring.   I bow at him politely and try to smile. His face turn red and he bows at me well then he walks away.   Sul Jung nudges me on my arm. “Yah, Kwon Nam Gyu, who’s that? Do you know him?”   I shrug. “I don’t know.”       Between.     Jinki and I sat across each other in our usual booth at The Tavern. I look at him and he’s gazing outside. I can sense that he’s quite nervous for a reason I couldn’t explain to.   When he meets my eyes, he grins at me and immediately he drinks his glass of water in front of him. Then he lets out a deep sigh as he settles back his glass.   “Nam Gyu-ssi.”   “Hmm?”   “I have something to tell you.”   “Okay.”   “I—I like you.” He squeezes his eyes tight. My heart starts to pound uncontrollably. I feel my face burning hot. He peeks with one eye and say shyly, “you don’t need to say anything… I just wanted to tell you that.”   Under the table, I press my finger together. I bit my lip and say, “I feel the same way too.”     Halfway.     “Sorry Gyu… I couldn’t give you Aurora Borealis, for our one-hundred days anniversary. This is all I can give you.” Jinki says really apologetically. I feel bad because he looks really sad and disappointed at his self. I smiled at him. Assuring that whatever he plans for, I totally appreciate it. And whatever he do, I’ll love him.   We stared at the vast shady sky—waiting.   As we wait, I feel he slips his fingers through mine. A loud boom shouts out of nowhere. My shoulders quiver. I was so surprise to see and hear a firework. He looks at me smiling and he squeezes my hands tight.    A single sky lantern appears in the sky. I gasp.   Three sky lanterns.   Five.   Ten.   Fifteen.  Until the whole sky are glowing because of the flames from the sky lanterns.     I pull my hand away from him and stand in front of him, feeling the tears in my eyes. I couldn’t express how happy I am. It’s the sweetest thing someone did for me. He scratches the back of his head and smiles. “There are one-hundred sky lanterns. It represents the number of our days together. It cannot symbolize the days I spent loving you because if it does, one-hundred is not enough.”   Tears slides down my cheeks. I run towards him and clutch my arms around his neck. “I love you, Jinki.”   Apart from my parents and friends, it is my first time to say those three words to someone—and I’m glad that someone is Jinki.   Jinki buried his face on my shoulder and wrap his arms me tighter. “Me too Gyu, I love you up to the core of my being.”     End.   Jinki’s eyebrows were crumpled. One second he was like in some kind of confusion and pain. I place my hands above his and ask, “Jinki… what’s wrong?”   Immediately, he removes his hands away from me and glued it to his sides. “Kwon Nam Gyu,” he says with perfunctory on his tone.   Another second, he looks completely cold like I did something to cause his irritation. His voice sound too controlled and cold—and it hurts. This is the first time he use that attitude to me.  Slowly, I get rid of my hands away from the table and place it on my lap.   “I’ve been thinking about this for a long time—” Our gazes meet. He’s staring at me intently… and that’s where I notice something change. For the past week, he change constantly and I couldn’t keep up with him. He couldn’t look at me, like he used to with his warm brown eyes.     “—I think it’s better for us if we stayed as friends.”     “Oh. Isn’t this Kwon Nam Gyu? The love of Lee Jinki’s life. So… Did you guys get back together now?” Joon-ssi asks.   Unexpectedly, I sneeze. I wipe my nose with the back of my hand. Lee Joon just laughs at me. I glance at Jinki, waiting for a backup and when I realize he’s still somewhat in trance. There’s no point of denying, is there? I thought and answer his friend, “no. Jinki and I didn’t get back together. We’re still good friends up to now—” I elbow him. “—Right?”   He nodded absently.   -   I can say that eating lunch with them is normal, nothing unusual. And even Jinki’s sudden clumsiness is normal. His hands keep on swatting the condiments and the glasses of water—like he’s a three year old kid who’s trying to eat by himself.   He was nervous about something and he’s tensing up.   I tried to be the most patient one, since I’m the person who’s sitting beside him. I pull some tissues on the dispenser and wipe it on the table. Seriously, he’s a big baby. I keep calm even though I know the other three is quite irritated with him already, and Joon-ssi, is not helping at all. He keeps on giving me