Chapter 23

Don't rethink your decision, If the breakup was your decision, keep in mind that only thinking about all the good times you had with your partner may cause you to forget the reasons why you broke it off. Don't play this game with yourself. Accept the situation and work on moving forward.

“Yah. Kwon Nam Gyu.”

“Mmm.”   It began as a whisper but for each and every tick of the clock it becomes louder and louder, “Nam Gyu-ah.”   I feel a cold finger poking me at my cheeks. “Waeyo?”   “Wake up.” A male’s voice echoed in my room. A male’s voice. Male. After a few seconds of analyzing, it dawn to me that a male’s voice shrills down my room.   “AHHH!”  My eyes open wide. Subsequently I hear a loud thud hit the floor. It was Jonghyun—who land flat on his bottom. Immediately, I throw my blanket up under my eyes. “W-What are you doing here?!”   “Waking you up.” He replies casually. I’m glad he didn’t dare to imitate those princes in the fairy tales when they’re trying to wake up their princesses.   “Oh I see. But Jjong, it’s Saturday and it’s—” I stop and look at the clock above my bedside table. “—Six in the morning, can’t we just rest?”   “No. We said—” he just said we; we as in him and me. “—we’d go jogging. Right?”   I suspire and indeed remembered that I said yes about this matter. “Fine.” I say and give in.   -   I was never the sporty type.   In fact I hate getting sweat on my body and end up getting sticky. I just find it annoying. But the moment I hear myself panting and gasping for some air— I thought I was dying and immediately this pet peeve had been forgotten.   I just finished my third lap and decided to take some rest and sit at bench where our stuffs are placed. I guzzle half of my water and catch my breath. When my breathing cycle’s normal again, slowly, I recline and try to fit myself at the surface. I close my eyes, wrap my arms around myself and try to sleep again.    But a frost finger touches my forehead and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. I open my eyes and saw Jonghyun smiling at me. Our gazes were lock on each other. I smiled back at him dreamily and say almost inaudible, “you’re sweating.”   It was like back in high school, the difference is, I don’t have anything with me right now. Instead I place my right hand on his face and wipe the sheen sweat on his forehead with my thumb.   Jonghyun hold the back of my hand with his left hand and gently remove it from his face. Then he kissed my palm. He seized my hand. I sit up straight. “Let’s go, Gyu.”   “Where? Home?”   He shakes his head and we’re striding now. He takes my hand again and entwines it with his. “No. Remember Thrifty Closet, the thrift shop you’ve always wanted to go before?” My eyes turn wide with excitement. I was in jitters.   Back then, I’ve always been asking Jonghyun to go with me there. We’ve been there a couple of times. But of course, there are circumstances when we can’t go. That’s the reason why we’ve never been there again.      Seeing my reaction, Jonghyun grins at me. My thrilled reaction faded softly. I haul my hand away from him and let him walk backward ahead of me. “I wanted to, Jjong. But my knees—” We both pause and look at my knees. “—it’s wobbling. I’m tired. You can go on without me.” I tell him.   Jonghyun laughs—but I didn’t hear any sound. He closes our gap with his hand stretched forward to me and he pulls my hand again. This time we didn’t walk. He squats in front of me and pull my arm over his shoulder—a piggyback ride. How clever. I wrap my other arm around and he stands up without having a second thought.   “There, you won’t get tired anymore.”   I wanted to say something—to thank Jonghyun for his kindness and love—but I feel my tongue retreated, I couldn’t say anything. Maybe I was that tired. As an alternative, I nuzzle him and rest my head on his shoulder. There are too many memories with Jonghyun and the one closes to this is when Jonghyun and I went up the hill to cheer me up.    Jonghyun’s leaning on tree’s trunk and I sat between his legs. I arrange his left leg so it can bend and I can hug it and rest my head. I was moping again for the very same reason and the very same person.   “Am I not pretty enough?” I ask, out of blue. “I mean do you think it’s the reason why he broke up with me? Because I’m not pretty enough?”     I hear some soft laughter a