Chapter 27

Take up a hobby.   Go take dance lesson, or join a club or sport, learn an instrument, start a diary, whatever keeps you occupied. Within five minutes of our arrival, immediately, I organize the things we bought and set up Ddak Ji’s new comfy bed and in instant he lapse into unconsciousness.   I sigh at the image in front of me. No words can express what I feel at this moment, but I thought of the word delightful. I guess this is what parents feel when they got home from a tiring day and saw their babies sleeping peaceful.   I went to the kitchen and brew some coffee and sit down at my study table with my notebook and pen. I started to scribble.   Mid-November, 2010. A Fresh Beginning. Autumn. Dusk: my flat.   When one door closes another one opens.   Not every plan works out—not even the plans that are carefully drawn. There are losses and failures. Most people are too attached to the past because of two reasons:   A.  All of us has this fear of the new and unknown future B.  The past is very much familiar and comforting.   The past is really tempting at the same time it’s a complete mistake, thus it makes people miss the opportunities that stands right in front of them.   The end of a relationship is often quite distressing. It’s easy to let the pain of the separation from your partner or friend feed the darkness within, but if you just allow yourself to understand the reasons you two had to part, you can embrace what is important to you in a relationship, find inner happiness, and ultimately, the perfect partner to share it with.   Doors may close, but there is always other unlimited number of doors – new opportunities. The world is full of opportunities, if we could only see them. The Infinite Power is boundless, and so the possibilities are without number.   My name is Kwon Nam Gyu.   I'm an average girl, and sometimes I wish I could be more than that: to exceed excellence. But there’s nothing special about me that I could be proud of. I don’t know how to dance neither to sing. I can’t act nor to express myself in writing. I guess if there’s one thing I’m good at, that is making people feel bad.   But if I admit this—I’ll make myself sound stupid and pathetic. Lee Jinki told me that only frail people feels sorry about themselves and I’m not one of them.   Apparently, the hardest thing to do in life is to forgive yourself for the stuff you’ve done in the past than to forgive others.   We all screw up. Forgiving ourselves is how we learn from those mistakes and start fresh.   Finally, I learned to let go as I think I have became wiser in the last days.   Because tomorrow, I will be a different person, never again the person I was today. Not that anyone will notice. On the outside, nothing will be different. It’s still me, Kwon Nam Gyu, the girl who waited, the girl who believe and the girl who knew.   But something inside has vanished. This is the last day for the person I am right now. The very last afternoon. When dawn comes, the person I am won’t be here anymore.   I am nineteen years old and I’ll be twenty by the end of the month. Random facts are: I like kimchi the most as well as coffee. They comfort me in times of distress.   I’m not afraid of much. Like other girls who would be frantic when they see spiders