FINISHED REVIEW (FR) : PANDATYPEWRITER - THE NOT SO UGLY DUCKLING

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TITLE: The Not So Ugly Ducking

AUTHOR: pandatypewriter

MAIN CHARACTER(S):  Daehyun (BAP) and Youngjae (BAP)

GENRE(S):  romance, drama, comedy

SYNOPSIS:  Youngjae didn't understand why Himchan hyung had forced him to dress like a piece of trash when he went to work. But Himchan kept repeating the words that it was for Youngjae's own good to look like a bloated platypus. Youngjae had thought that was complete and utter bull until he met CEO Daehyun Jung. Prince of Jung Corporations. A business genius at the young age of 27 with a handsome face and copious amounts of charisma that would put a Kpop idol to shame. The only downside was his habit of sleeping around with any pretty man or woman he could get his hands on and Youngjae was about to find out about that habit first hand, despite Himchan's defense system. 

STORY STATUS:  Rated M (for ual, violent and other sensitive contents)

REVIEWED BY: hocbaidi

Title

The title centers around Youngjae. He's also the start of (almost) all things, and since the main storyline features him and Daehyun, I think it's a good title choice. It also suggests your comedic elements, and it is cute.

Appearance

I have no problem with your default font. The texts appear to be neat and friendly to the eyes, which I'm thankful for since it's no doubt a long story and boy would it be a hassle to sit through a font you don't like!

I also like the simple poster and the banner (?). You (or the designer) chose such good pictures to represent the main couple, and I could somewhat think of their personalities as I look at them!

Foreword/ Description

The foreword and description is a straight-forward and smart intro, and you directly tell readers the circumstances that the two are put in. Which is great! Though later on, I found out that the story does not only revolve around them. I think it is necessary if you put a little bit input about Zelo, Jongup, and Yongguk as well. Just to give readers a good grasp that your story is going to cover a huge plot line.

Characterization

I can truthfully say that you did a moderately good job at building Youngjae's and Daehyun's character. Not only them, but you also got Jongup, Yongguk, Zelo, and Himchan that are all well-established and praise-worthy! Actually, aside from the characters I have listed, all your characters have their distinctive personalities, and I have to commend you for a good job in this area!

Let's start with Youngjae. He is a sweetheart yet headstrong and forthright as he is determined at work, and he wouldn't back up from any injustice that he has to go through. He has his way with words that would soothe people so easily with his comedic style (which by the way, very presented in most of the BAP boys in this story). I especially like how you give him such a big flaw of being a bit egoistic when it comes to facing situations that have opposite sides of effect, as evident when Daehyun abandoned his flight to an important business meeting just to check if he was going well with his representation; or when he discovered that Daehyun took the blame to himself about Youngjae's signature on a (set-up) illegal contract. It was not so nice to see him being all rough on Daehyun when the elder was having his hard time (much harder than Youngjae to be objective) trying to balance work and love. However, I'm sure that it's all only because he also loves Daehyun and we all never want to see our beloved someone sacrificing just for our sake. It was a nice blend of love and self-esteem. It was a great mixture of emotions, and it was realistic.

However, I do think that Youngjae is quite inconsistent despite all his flaws, his quirks, and his good sides. In the very recent chapters, we get to know his past, and it was immensely traumatic. There are two main questions that pop up when I learned about his past.
What motivated Youngjae to get rid of Jinsoo? Please pardon me if I didn't remember your story, but I think I haven't got the chance to know what factor made Youngjae finally make a right decision by breaking up with Jinsoo. Or, was it Jinsoo that dumped him instead?
How could he change his reserved, nerdy self to an outspoken and brave man after that incident? It seems to me that there is a gap between his past and present. It is by no means unrealistic if someone changes so much but what I'm looking for is the process of it. So far, I haven’t seen it in your story.

I enjoyed reading about Youngjae until I got to know his past personality traits. The change in character is a bit strange to look into closely.

(Clingy) Daehyun is brutally honest in his savage remarks; he does not want to beat around the bush and always looks out to solve problems as efficiently as possible. He is also a sweetheart as he places everyone close to him on top of his mind. He's selfless, and sometimes it can be his weakness as well. I like how you make him miserable because of his selfless/ carefree decisions that resulted in both parties involved unsatisfied. There is this small thing that I have been wondering if you could make a few changes to develop his character even more. He is intelligent, but I feel like you only tell so to the readers, but not actually show it (not enough). It can also be due to the fact that you make up problematic situations where only illegal practices could help; in this case, he seeks help from Jongup. Additionally, maybe I have the expression that he solves work based on his face (in the first chapter, he made out with a business partner's wife) and not just once but multiple times with different people. As a result, whenever I hear him say that he has to shed blood, sweat, and tears for his hard work, I also think of the times when he got profitable contracts not based on his intelligence, but his ual appeal.

I think it's also a flaw of him to have an obsession with pretty things. And through crossing paths with Youngjae, he got to change his point of view/ prejudice about looks and how he unexpectedly fell in love with an (assumed) ugly man. It was a nice characterization and I loved reading about it. Sometimes I just wonder if this obsession has something to do with his past, or it is just his natural trait. I usually look for reasons for abnormal things, so I felt a bit hanging there, just a tiny little bit.

There is this one more thing that I feel like you could delve more into. Daehyun's father. He seems a bit inconsistent to me. He obviously acts more stern toward Daehyun than he is to Woojin. And, the fact that he gives basically half of the company to Woojin (who did not do anything and BAM, he came up and took charge) is so absurd to think about. But when the board started voting whether to fire Daehyun or not, he seems to be a fair person. I cannot connect well with him, and whenever he makes an appearance, I couldn't sense his weight in the atmosphere because his character is not that clear. If you could tell us more about the relationship Daehyun and his father share, it would be better to get to know him and therefore, to understand where all his actions come from.

Jongup has a stern demeanor on the outside, but actually, he's so gentle and caring (to both Zelo and Daehyun) to the point of being over-protective (bashing Youngjae when he and Daehyun had fights). Sometimes he could be perceived as possessing self-hatred. Himchan is so funny and diva-ish. He's no doubt a mother figure with his all his naggings, his exaggerated remarks and his dramatic reaction to everything (especially around Yongguk). Yongguk is a calm CEO, and he seems to be the most normal of them all. Zelo is a bit quiet, and he's half innocent, half serious at times, so it's also interesting (and funny) to read about him.

All in all, I could rela