FINISHED REVIEW (FR) : STRAWBERRYCREAMBOBA - SEVEN DAYS

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TITLE: Seven Days

AUTHOR: strawberrycreamboba

MAIN CHARACTER(S):  Lee Hanhui (OC), Kim Taehyung (V from BTS)

GENRE(S):  fluff, cute,slight angst

SYNOPSIS:  Lee Hanhui wants to be a 'woman' as fast as possible, and is convinced the only way to do so is to lose her v-card. So she asks one of the most popular guys in her school, Kim Taehyung,  to help fulfill her wish and he oddly doesn't hesitate to agree, under one condition.

STORY STATUS:  Chaptered, on-going story

REVIEWED BY: hocbaidi

Title

Your title is well-fitting to the story. It shows the period of time this story takes to get the plot through, and it's one of the critical points to the story, so it is good! However, maybe I have seen quite a few that indicate time, your title was not appealing to me at first. I could list a few drama titles that touch the topic of time: "Two Weeks", "Three Days", "49 Days". The three of them, including your story title: "Seven Days", are all telling about some deadlines, some span of time that takes a significant role in the plot. But aside from the deadlines, what more does it give? While it does do justice to the plot key in the end, I'd say that there are more interesting title choices to come up with. To me, a title that can remind me a gist of the plot and the genre, the atmosphere of it is better than one that reminds me how much time it takes for the story to wrap up in its own universe.
 

Appearance (graphic/poster)

I could tell right off that the story was going to be fluffy, cute and light based on the poster and the background besides the tags. While I think that the graphics are not that beautiful (to be honest, I have seen many beautiful posters and backgrounds before), they are good enough. I'm not picky when it comes to appearance, really. It has nothing to do with your story except for maybe drawing more readers and visually captures interest.
 

Foreword/Description

I'm embarrassing myself, but I didn't know what v-card was. I had to google it up and found out that it was in fact, ity. While it's completely fine how you word it in a more secretive, witty way, I still recommend using the word ity. A slang or modern expression doesn't sound like something ideal to put in a description. It might disrupt the reading of one's own experience. Well, at least for my part.

While the foreword goes straight forward to the main problem that the story aims to resolve later on, and I like how neat and intriguing it is, the description felt unnecessary. Why?

It's not because you disclosed about the seven days as a condition (which was from the foreword) to the readers, it's because you just told the ending of the story. If this particular scene had been somewhere in the middle, I wouldn't find any fault in it. But it's actually right at the ending. You unknowingly revealed that Taehyung finally fell for her in the end, and so did she (with the following dialogue). For a story as simple as yours (I'll talk more about this later), I think you have to be as careful as possible with spoiling stuff right from the beginning. You could have continued the "under one condition..." part with something like "to hang out with him for the next seven days". That way, your readers would be curious what Taehyung was planning for. With your description right now, however, you just told us that Taehyung actually had feelings for Hanhui before this event takes place.

Aside from the description that I personally think is gratuitous, I also have to say that the character introduction in the picture was also appalling. I dislike being exposed to the characters before getting to read anything. I believe we appeal to the readers firstly with the plot, not the characters. Informing their age and family background is okay, or even encouraged, but basically summarizing their personalities is like forcing the readers to get who the characters are. We don't need that. We can discover who they are by reading about them later on, and decide on our own, can't we?

Characterization

Your main characters really affect the story in a good way. They have distinct personalities and their own quirks. I actually enjoyed reading about your characters more than I'm interested in the plot. Regardless, you did a good job building your main characters. Taehyung is playful, carefree, adorably mischievous but also sweet and caring. Hanhui is a bit reserved, but she doesn't hesitate to show her true colors to the people she gets close to (namely Taehyung). She is overall an interesting person as she is not afraid to fight back what's right for her, and then again, she's so innocent and oblivious to social matters (womanhood, dating). That's also the reason for her simple, honest and straight-forward thinking.

Some scenes felt quite weird because the characters either act out of character or they just react weirdly. For example:

In chapter 2, you wrote: "You eat the girl out—" He grabbed the blossom and crushed it into his hand, watching the pieces fall onto the wooden floor.

The bolded  sentence gives me an impression that he's a cruel boy, but he definitely isn't.

In chapter 5, you wrote: 

"I can help you get changed if you want." 

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