| Seven

Lee Hyukjae had never been a friend of hospitals.

They always felt impersonal and he thought they were scary; everything about them was. When he had entered them in the past to visit friends or some member of his family, he had always been weighed down by the heavy atmosphere that the sterile white walls around him radiated. There was this odd smell lingering in the air all the time and it filled him with nausea, no matter how friendly the nurses or doctors were that walked by.         
There also were so many emotions in the faces he saw there; incredible happiness in the eyes of men who were just about to become a father or devastating grief in the eyes of wives who had just lost their husband. Everything was possible; people were on top of the world or in the depths of despair here, maybe somewhere in between. All in all hospitals weren’t a place where Eunhyuk liked to spend his time – and he hated it even more to be hospitalized in one.

And so, as he was lying in his bed and looking outside, he thought that the weather was nice on top of it all. He tilted his head a bit more to the side and blinked his eyes; the sky was blue, there wasn’t even a single cloud visible and the sun looked like a big lemon sticking to it. He was sure it was warm outside, but he felt like he was freezing, despite the soft breeze that sometimes came through the open window, brushing over his skin. It wasn’t actually cold in his room, just well air-conditioned. But the goose bumps on his skin told another story.

Soft knocks reached his ears. He immediately could tell that it wasn’t a nurse who was about to come in. They wouldn’t knock and if they did, they would yank the door open just barely a second later. But this time nothing happened after the knocks had echoed away and it really seemed like whoever was standing on the other side of the door was waiting for his permission to enter. Eunhyuk wasn’t planning to grant it, knowing that it wasn’t needed anyway. And he was right: despite him not saying a word, the door was being opened some moments later. He didn’t turn his head to see who it was, only listened to the door's soft thud as it was closed again and to the hesitant steps of the person coming closer.

"Hey…" a very familiar voice said. "How are you feeling?"

One of the trees belonging to the park behind the hospital was planted quite close to his window. Eunhyuk couldn’t see its trunk but some of its big branches, its leaves already turning a bit red. They were softly swaying in the soft breeze of that day, rustled in the wind and making soft noises. He could see two birds sitting on one of them, sleeping as it seemed. Seeing the way they huddled together like a couple of lovebirds, Eunhyuk wanted to yank the window open and shoo them away.

"… Hyukjae."

The mattress dipped a bit as his visitor sat down on its edge and he could see out of the corner of his eye that a hand was reached out for him. He felt it on his head a moment later, sliding through his red locks in an attempt to fix them because he hadn't taken care of his hair since he had woken up a couple of hours ago. Eunhyuk wished his mind could be as easily fixed as his hair.

"Please look at me."

The redhead was hesitant until he eventually obeyed, simply because he found the tone in the other's voice hard to stand. Sungmin sent him a small smile and to his surprise it didn’t look as forced as the other times before. Eunhyuk assumed that Sungmin had improved his acting skills because he had done it a lot of times during the past couple of days, acting like things would get better.

"Does it still hurt?" Sungmin asked and nodded towards Eunhyuk's hand that was placed motionlessly on top of his stomach.

The redhead lowered his gaze and stared at all those white bandages that were wrapped around it and made it feel stiff. There was this sharp pain lingering in it all of the time, but it was okay as long as he didn’t move it too much. He had forgotten about this injury, he really had and he wanted to forget it again. There were just so many things he wanted to forget.

"The doctors said they stitched the wounds they could; you have to keep wearing the bandages until the other ones have healed better. You'll have to come back here so they can remove the stitches soon, but you don’t have to worry. They said your hand isn’t seriously damaged, it will be fine again."

Sungmin carefully placed his hand on the other's forearm and sent him another soft smile. Eunhyuk secretly admired him a bit. He thought that the other was the strongest of them all, the one who could comfort everybody with his gentleness and warm words. The redhead was glad about him being there, even if he wasn’t able to express it.

"Seems like the food here isn’t that good, huh?"

Eunhyuk's gaze followed the other's as Sungmin looked at the tray standing next to the bed, still filled with undefinable food. He hadn't touched it at all, even though he felt kind of hungry and it had been standing there for hours now. At least that was what he assumed; he couldn’t tell how much time had passed since a nurse had brought it in.

"Good thing that we have better stuff at the dorms." Sungmin looked back at him, lips still curled a bit. "Some of our mothers are there; they said they wanted to cook for us. Your mother is there, too."

The redhead averted his eyes slightly and looked at his hand again. He didn’t want to see his mother now; he didn’t want to see the pity in her eyes. That would only make it harder for him because there was nothing he hated more than being pitied. But at the same time he didn’t want to be alone. He wanted all the comfort the people around him gave him. He wanted everything and nothing at once.

"I'm allowed to bring you home and I think we should go now." Sungmin rubbed his thumb over the younger's forearm. "I'm sure they are already waiting for us."

Eunhyuk slowly nodded his head and freed himself from the blanket with sluggish movements.
No, he had never been a friend of hospitals and he especially hated this one. All he wanted was to leave this place – the place where he had found out the truth.

***

"How did it happen?"

Eunhyuk sat on the couch in the dorm later that day, a mug filled with hot tea in his hand. His mother had brought it to him a while ago because she thought that her son's skin felt still way too cold. She was busy with cleaning the kitchen now, some of the other mothers by her side, and even though there were so many people in the dorm, it still was so unfamiliar quiet. The mothers tried their best to take care of their children and they did that with being there and reading all of their wishes in their son's eyes – and they did that for all of their sons, not just for those they had given birth to.

The redhead's words were the first ones spoken after a long time; even their meal had taken place in complete silence, only disturbed by necessary conversations now and then. Right now it wasn’t that silent anymore, though. Eunhyuk could hear someone cry not that far away from him. It sounded a bit off and he couldn’t tell who it was, but he had no interest in finding out yet. What he heard next was a sigh, and this time it came from right next to him.

"You really can't remember?" Shindong asked silently. Eunhyuk shook his head ever so slightly.

"No", he said. The mug in his hand was the most interesting thing in the world to him that moment; he couldn’t tear his eyes away from it. Shindong heaved another sigh and awkwardly rubbed his neck, gaze on the floor.

"Well, I don’t know that much about it either because I… I wasn’t th