| Thirteen

"-and then you told me that it had been there the whole time and that I'd be just too dumb to see it… Do you remember that?"

Eunhyuk rolled over onto his back, a small smile playing with his lips. He hummed silently, responded to the quiet voice he had been listening to for hours now. Hearing it calmed him down so much and he wouldn’t have anything against listening to it for the rest of the day. Because the Donghae in his head was alright – and he wasn’t mad at him at all.

"Or that one time in Shanghai when I forgot my mic and went on stage without it. You were even more embarrassed than me."

Donghae chuckled and Eunhyuk's heart stumbled heavily. The younger's voice got softer and it sounded like he was coming closer.

"Sssh… It's alright, Hyukkie. You don’t have to be nervous."

"I'm not", Eunhyuk mumbled and heard him chuckle again. He could so perfectly imagine how Donghae would look like right in that moment when he said those words, could see his smile when he kept his eyes shut just a second longer after blinking and that made his heart flutter even more.

"You only do this when I'm with you, don’t you?"

Donghae was whispering now and his voice sounded so near, so gentle and soothing that there was no place Eunhyuk would rather be than lying on the younger's bed like he did it in that moment. He even started thinking that only hearing him was nicer than being with the Donghae in his dreams; Eunhyuk couldn’t tell why, but somehow he enjoyed being around him more.

"What do you mean?" he asked, just as silent and without knowing the reason why.

"Your heart… It starts beating so fast when I'm talking to you. Do you like me being here?"

"Yes", Eunhyuk immediately breathed out without wondering even for a second how Donghae could know that his heart was beating faster when he wasn’t there. "I love it. Please… Please stay with me."

Donghae chuckled again and made another hushing sound afterwards. "Okay, I'll stay here. But you have to promise me that you'll calm down."

The redhead hummed and after some time Donghae continued telling him stories, mostly funny ones and some which Eunhyuk had almost forgotten. He told him about things only they knew about too, made the redhead talk to him like he wished he could do it again while facing him. Reliving memories like that was something he liked because Donghae spoke about them exactly like he remembered them to be and there was nothing changing them, simply because it was impossible. Donghae was able to surprise him – and he couldn’t express how glad he was about that.            
Eunhyuk wanted to listen to all those stories for a lifetime and to forget everything else. He didn’t notice how hours passed and ignored the silent knocking that occasionally sounded from the door or how the handle was pushed down. The door was still locked and none of the begging words from the other side could make him open it.

"You know… The others don’t believe me when I tell them that you can hear me. But you do, don’t you? You know that I'm here."

"I do… And they don’t believe me that I can hear you either", Eunhyuk said and slowly dragged himself up from the bed as his throat started hurting from drinking nothing the whole day. His head was spinning and ached a bit; he had to keep sitting for some time to find his balance again.

"They always say that you would give us signs if you would, but… your heart starts beating so much faster when I talk to you. Isn’t that proof enough?"

"I would say so", Eunhyuk mumbled and got up from the bed to slowly head for the door. He unlocked it, opened it and stepped outside; none of the members present were acknowledged by him as he entered the kitchen with sluggish movements.

"Hyukkie… Can you do me one big favor?"

"Sure. What do you want me to do?" he silently asked as he grabbed a glass and filled it with water. The members behind him sent him worried glances as they heard him speaking with someone only he seemed to be able to see.

"Just…"

Donghae sighed and the cheerfulness of his voice was suddenly gone. Eunhyuk wished he could bring it back.

"Just what?" he asked and stared ahead at the wall cupboard in front of him. Another silent sigh.

"Hyukkie… I-I know that I asked you to do this so many times already, but… Can you wake up? Please, you have to try it. I know that you can do it."

Eunhyuk's gaze dropped before he took a sip from his water, slightly shaking his head. He turned a bit to the side to be able to look outside. It was raining again. "I'm not sleeping, Donghae… But I wish I was."

"Hyukjae?" he heard Siwon's voice from the living room and turned his head to the other side. The taller man was not the only one who sent him concerned glances. "Who are you talking to?"

The redhead smiled softly. "Donghae", he answered like it was the most normal thing in the world and headed for the younger's room again. Before he could reach it however, there were suddenly hands on his shoulders and he was spun around by Siwon who looked like he seriously doubted the other's state of mind.

"What did you just say?" the other asked, just to make sure that he had heard right. Eunhyuk was still smiling.

"Donghae. I'm talking with Donghae."

The last bit of composure left Siwon's face. "W-What? But-"

"It is", Eunhyuk interrupted him, looking to the side as he responded to Donghae's silent question only he had heard. He thought that it was way more important than what Siwon wanted to know. "And I miss you too, I really do."

He gently broke free from the other and made his way back to Donghae's room, unaware of the horrified gazes that were glued to his back.

"I wish I could help you."

Eunhyuk locked the door again and slumped down to the bed after he had placed the glass on the nightstand. "But you already do that", he said, head resting on the mattress again. "You're helping me right now, so just please keep talking."

"I'll just keep trying, okay? But you have to try it, too. Fight, Hyukkie. You can do this, I know you can."

He hummed and hugged the other's pillow, smiling softly to himself. "If you say so…"

***

"Why don’t you at least try it?"

Leeteuk's gaze travelled from Eunhyuk to the dishes standing on the table and back. The redhead stared at his empty plate, the smile on his lips long gone.

"I'm not hungry, hyung", he silently said – and that was no lie. Even though he hadn't eaten a single bite the whole day, he didn’t feel hungry at all. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had wanted to eat something.

"Please?" the leader tried again, but Eunhyuk shook his head.

Donghae had stopped talking to him several hours ago an